Into The Night With Enrico And So-Called Friends

[Enrico Salazar]

Enrico has said it many times before in the past: sex and death are the same.

Please do so, the ratings can only go up, after all in America violence is good, it is sex that is bad.

Soon we will change that.

When IS Hoshi showing up anyway?  Enrico has so many questions to ask the little muffin.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Enrico has said it many times before in the past: sex and death are the same.

Please do so, the ratings can only go up, after all in America violence is good, it is sex that is bad.

Soon we will change that.

When IS Hoshi showing up anyway?  Enrico has so many questions to ask the little muffin.

She comes and goes as she pleases, as all Erisians do.

We can shoot some of the hostages, but shouldn't we be a little more creative....and if we are going to do the massacre-thing, we'll need more camera coverage.

[Enrico Salazar]

Perhaps we should wait until sweeps for more coverage?

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Perhaps we should wait until sweeps for more coverage?

This works. We have warehouses to "store" them until the right moment.

[Enrico Salazar]

Enrico likes the sound of it.

Ok, NOW we go to words from our sponsors, and remember motherfuckers that Riunite on ice is real goddam nice.

[Zurtok Khan]

Are you feeling sad?  Depressed?  Do you just need a hug?  Do you have wounds that will never heal?  Scars that itch and burn and genital leakage?

That's because you've been stabbed with a knife infected with the newest and greatest STD ever invented!  Staphonolupushumonimunolufighonneritis.

SLHILFOU will slowly degenerate your body and mind until you become a quivering mass of jelly.

Isn't that EXCITING?

There is no cure for SLHILFOU.  There are no treatments either.  There's no point consulting your doctor if you think you may have SLHILFOU.  You should probably just kill yourself now for the best.

This message brought to you by the Center for Disease Propogation and it's affiliates.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

/We can cure you of that disease. Unfortunately the side effect of my treatment will result in you bleeding out to death.//

/We are the Tequilahadeen, and we approve of this message.//

[Enrico Salazar]

Is hard to find good upstanding sponsors such as these.

Well, we are back. Enrico's next guest is one who could be the spawn of Hugh himself . . . Zurtok Khan!

Welcome Zurtok.  Tell Enrico, how hard is it for you to get out of bed in the morning?

[Zurtok Khan]

Enrico, my dear friend and fellow faggot, I must say that it is very difficult for me to leae my bed in the morning.  Mostly because my boyfriend ties me to the bed posts at night.  Then he cums and falls asleep without untieing me.  I am sure you know all about these sorts of things.  Are you not the one who invented the Salazorian Organ Pleasure (a position which I have still not had the pleasure of!) Position in late 1974?

[Enrico Salazar]

Is true.  It was when Enrico was inventing that position that he discovered the male g-spot.  Was a good day.  Dr. Joyce Brothers has never forgiven Enrico for that discovery.

Your boyfriend, is his name Fartre?

[Zurtok Khan]

No no Enrico, his name is Jack.

He is not french.  Have you not noticed that french men have very small penis's?  The kind that would make guinea pigs embarrassed to leave the house without pants on.

[Enrico Salazar]

Enrico has only known two french men in his life, as bizarre as that may sound.  The first was Pierre Trudeau the Canadian Prime Minister, and believe Enrico when he says that the French Pig was hung like a donkey.  Of course he wasn't from France, so mayb this is explanation.

The second was one of Diabo's lovers, and he had no penis at all when Enrico saw him.  This could be because Diabo cut it off, which she is wont to do, but it also could have been the penis sucking back into cavity - this haas been known to happen to all of Diabo's suitors at one point or another.

How often do you bathe?

[Zurtok Khan]

I bathe when ever I may find a good looking man (such as yourself) to bathe me.

Would you like to bathe me, here and now?

[Zurtok Khan]

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that Enrico has gone off to see his favorite officer at the local house of correctional facilities.

We will be back after these messages from our sponsers.

*masterbaits on Enrico's chair*

[Baron Von Stevenstein]

Do you find your self using your inferior legs as a mode of transportation?

Well fear not there is a solution.

The LandWalker



Allows you to have a night on the town in style and leasure.
Compleat with Rocket Launcher, Gun Turrets, Cup Holders, AM Radio and Four Wheel Drive.