He wasn't who he thought he was.

[Doktor Howl]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

Next to that Gandhi dude, at least on weekdays.

On weekends, you're rubbing elbows with Pol Pot and Galteiri.

I mean, you made me build that horrible contraption, right?

[Doktor Howl]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

You're American, you don't get morality meters, but Fahrenheit morality gallons.

[Doktor Howl]

Is it okay if I kick puppies?

Depends on the boots.

[LMNO]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

You're American, you don't get morality meters, but Fahrenheit morality gallons.

This is my new favorite running joke.

[Abbess Jade]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

You're American, you don't get morality meters, but Fahrenheit morality gallons.

I see what you did there.

[Freeky]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

Next to that Gandhi dude, at least on weekdays.

On weekends, you're rubbing elbows with Pol Pot and Galteiri.

I mean, you made me build that horrible contraption, right?

Yeah right, you were outta your gourd on cactus!

[Doktor Howl]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

Next to that Gandhi dude, at least on weekdays.

On weekends, you're rubbing elbows with Pol Pot and Galteiri.

I mean, you made me build that horrible contraption, right?

Yeah right, you were outta your gourd on cactus!

I remember it differently.  I was on a noble quest for SCIENCE, and you led me astray, into horror after horror.

[Freeky]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

Next to that Gandhi dude, at least on weekdays.

On weekends, you're rubbing elbows with Pol Pot and Galteiri.

I mean, you made me build that horrible contraption, right?

Yeah right, you were outta your gourd on cactus!

I remember it differently.  I was on a noble quest for SCIENCE, and you led me astray, into horror after horror.

OhgawdtheMAYONNAISE!

And I suppose I made you strip naked and run off into the night, too?

[Doktor Howl]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

Next to that Gandhi dude, at least on weekdays.

On weekends, you're rubbing elbows with Pol Pot and Galteiri.

I mean, you made me build that horrible contraption, right?

Yeah right, you were outta your gourd on cactus!

I remember it differently.  I was on a noble quest for SCIENCE, and you led me astray, into horror after horror.

OhgawdtheMAYONNAISE!

And I suppose I made you strip naked and run off into the night, too?

Well, SOMEONE did, and you were the only person there.

[Freeky]

Oooh, where would I stand on the morality meter?

Next to that Gandhi dude, at least on weekdays.

On weekends, you're rubbing elbows with Pol Pot and Galteiri.

I mean, you made me build that horrible contraption, right?

Yeah right, you were outta your gourd on cactus!

I remember it differently.  I was on a noble quest for SCIENCE, and you led me astray, into horror after horror.

OhgawdtheMAYONNAISE!

And I suppose I made you strip naked and run off into the night, too?

Well, SOMEONE did, and you were the only person there.

BALLS. 

I had nightmares for a week after that about some horrible yeti trying to dump mayonnaise on me.

[Doktor Howl]

BALLS. 

I had nightmares for a week after that about some horrible yeti trying to dump mayonnaise on me.

I am a respected man of SCIENCE.  Would someone in my position willfully commit multiple misdemeanors and at least one felony?  I think not.  Seeing as how you were the only other person there, it's obvious that you put something in my coffee.

[Freeky]

BALLS. 

I had nightmares for a week after that about some horrible yeti trying to dump mayonnaise on me.

I am a respected man of SCIENCE.  Would someone in my position willfully commit multiple misdemeanors and at least one felony?  I think not.  Seeing as how you were the only other person there, it's obvious that you put something in my coffee.

YOU. ATE. CACTUS. YOU DID IT! AND I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU DO THAT SHIT AGAIN, NAMELY WHOEVER IS SUPPLYING YOU, PARTICULARLY IF YOU DONT SHARE AGAIN.

[Doktor Howl]

BALLS. 

I had nightmares for a week after that about some horrible yeti trying to dump mayonnaise on me.

I am a respected man of SCIENCE.  Would someone in my position willfully commit multiple misdemeanors and at least one felony?  I think not.  Seeing as how you were the only other person there, it's obvious that you put something in my coffee.

YOU. ATE. CACTUS. YOU DID IT! AND I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU DO THAT SHIT AGAIN, NAMELY WHOEVER IS SUPPLYING YOU, PARTICULARLY IF YOU DONT SHARE AGAIN.

Nonsense.  As far as I can tell, the contents of the bag evaporated.

[Freeky]

BALLS. 

I had nightmares for a week after that about some horrible yeti trying to dump mayonnaise on me.

I am a respected man of SCIENCE.  Would someone in my position willfully commit multiple misdemeanors and at least one felony?  I think not.  Seeing as how you were the only other person there, it's obvious that you put something in my coffee.

YOU. ATE. CACTUS. YOU DID IT! AND I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU DO THAT SHIT AGAIN, NAMELY WHOEVER IS SUPPLYING YOU, PARTICULARLY IF YOU DONT SHARE AGAIN.

Nonsense.  As far as I can tell, the contents of the bag evaporated.

Don't make me get the doweling, boyo.

[Doktor Howl]

BALLS. 

I had nightmares for a week after that about some horrible yeti trying to dump mayonnaise on me.

I am a respected man of SCIENCE.  Would someone in my position willfully commit multiple misdemeanors and at least one felony?  I think not.  Seeing as how you were the only other person there, it's obvious that you put something in my coffee.

YOU. ATE. CACTUS. YOU DID IT! AND I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU DO THAT SHIT AGAIN, NAMELY WHOEVER IS SUPPLYING YOU, PARTICULARLY IF YOU DONT SHARE AGAIN.

Nonsense.  As far as I can tell, the contents of the bag evaporated.

Don't make me get the doweling, boyo.

SEE?  SHE MAKES ME DO BAD SHIT UNDER THREAT OF VIOLENCE!