Topics

16

Or Kill Me / I'm not racist

« on: October 29, 2018, 03:06:03 am »

I consider myself a fairly tolerant, open-minded individual, but at the same time, I don't want the wrong sort of people moving into the neighbourhood.

I mean, I'm okay with foreigners, immigrants, and people of different ethnic origin in principle.  I have co-workers who are Chinese, Vietnamese, Indian, some sort of middle-eastern, and even British, and we all get along fine.  I think the Chinese store signs that are starting to pop up here and there add to the atmosphere.  More immigrants means more interesting restaurants; I went out for shawarma last week.  My doctor is Nigerian.  My next-door neighbours on one side are Sikhs, and one of the renters on the other side is Sudanese.  These people aren't a problem.  As far as I'm concerned, if you survive your first Canadian winter, you can stay.

But I have to draw the line somewhere.  For example, I wouldn't want one of you morally degenerate Americans moving into the area.  You people are twisted beyond belief.

You think that a few school shootings a year is justified as long as you get to keep your damn gun hobby.

You are so ingrained with the idea that it's normal to identify with a political party, that you need a special category, "independent", for people who don't.

Not only do you pollute the globe with your abhorrent excuse for "culture", but you support its stagnation, by pushing your absurdly extended copyright laws on everybody else, just to preserve the legacy of a diseased cartoon rat that nobody under the age of forty even recognizes.

You introduce your Pax Americana to countries that don't need it, want it or ask for it, and then leave once your arms merchants have met their profit objectives, while complaining about how ungrateful everyone is for your help.

You voted for Trump.  You voted for that boorish troglodyte with the intellect of a caecotroph.  No, don't nod and smile apologetically.  I'm not talking to the other Americans.  I'm talking to you.  Maybe you-personally didn't vote for him, but you-collectively did, and you-collectively are responsible for him.  And now you-collectively haven't refused to follow his orders, haven't overthrown his government, haven't dragged him from the White House by his feet.

Being born American isn't like being born brown-skinned, or Asian, or Catholic.  You can change what you are.  You can leave the country, and renounce your citizenship.  You can start a revolution.  Or, you can change what it means to be American, so that you aren't that thing I hate anymore.

Maybe, once you've built your border walls, locked out all the nasty immigrants, and the apocalypse you are set on causing has destroyed all international commerce, this will be different.  Maybe a thousand years of inbreeding will turn you into a distinctly identifiable race, and anti-Americanism really will be racism.

But for now, I'm not racist.  I'm just angry at a bunch of people.


P.S.
Present company excepted, I guess.  The general idea of this has been stuck in my head for a few weeks, but this sorta pushed a button.

17

Apple Talk / Predatory instinct

« on: September 02, 2018, 03:47:01 pm »

Sometimes, I'll see someone walking with their head down, focused on their smartphone, oblivious to their surroundings, and I'll feel the urge to pounce on them.

It's not as if I wish them harm, or want to beat them up and take their stuff.  I'm not even particularly irritated at their inattention; there's no rational thought process here.

Perhaps this is an attribute of my inner six-year-old, who still thinks it's funny to sneak up on people and make Sudden Noises.  Maybe, dozens of generations ago, one of my ancestors survived by hunting via stealth, and some of his genes persisted through decades of domestication.  Or it could be that this is my way of saying, "Hi.  Safety is an illusion.  You're a wild creature out in the wild, and you've dropped your defenses.  I might be a flabby little geek with low threat potential, but the next thing you meet could be a stray coyote¹, or a wandering cultist².  You should take better care of yourself."

I've never done anything about this, of course, but perhaps someday I'll work up the nerve to stand in their path, adopt a Ginyu Force pose, and see what happens.

Unrelated note:  A couple days ago, I had just left work, was looking down at my phone to make a call, and got whapped in the face by a low hanging tree branch.  The grounds staff should probably trim that.

If I'm a hypocrite, then recognizing I'm a hypocrite doesn't make me less of a hypocrite.  It makes me a double hypocrite.  But knowing I'm a double hypocrite doesn't make me a triple hypocrite.  It has to end somewhere.

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¹Coyotes wander into the city, now and then.  They're after the jackrabbits, I suppose.
²Jehova's Witness.  They're not as bad as they used to be.

18

Discordian Recipes / Ginger Beef

« on: July 30, 2018, 02:10:36 am »

Components:

1 pound stir-fry grade beef, sliced thin, but not too thin.  (beef hip works well)
1/2 cup cornstarch
2 cups carrots, julienned
1/2 cup some kind of onion, chopped
3ish cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons fresh ginger, grated
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
2 tablespoons sesame oil
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup vinegar
1/4 cup vegetable oil (for cooking)
3 cups vegetable oil (for frying)

Sequence:

Coat the beef strips in the cornstarch.
Put 1/4 cup of oil in a pan, and cook the onions for a minute or two, until they're a bit translucent.
Add the carrots, and cook until they soften slightly (2-3 min)
Add the garlic and ginger, and stir.  Cook for another minute.
Add the soy sauce, vinegar, and sesame oil, and then the brown sugar, black pepper, and sesame seeds.  Stir it a bit, then turn the temperature down to a low simmer.  Don't worry about reducing the sauce, overcooking it just diminishes the flavour.

Put the 3 cups of oil in a deep pot, and heat the oil to 350-375F.  Put the beef into the oil, a few strips at a time.  Remove each piece just after it becomes slightly crispy; this will coincide with a reduction in the effervescence surrounding that piece of beef.  It depends on the size of the piece, but this shouldn't take more than three minutes.  You'll need to adjust the batch size and cooking heat in order to keep the oil temperature between 350 and 375F.

Combine the beef with the sauce, and consume according to the customs of your people.

Disclaimer:  I plagiarized this from some guy's web page.  By following this recipe instead of his, you're stealing his advertising dollars.  But, his recipe doesn't have anywhere near enough ginger, it's too salty, he doesn't really explain the frying process, and you have to wade through a thousand word essay.

As a relative n00b at cooking, here are some things that should be obvious, but weren't (to me):

Use a sharp knife to chop the onion.  A serrated knife probably isn't the best choice.
Wash your hands after working with the garlic.  Immediately.  You don't want to marinate your finger-meat.
Don't turn the heat on the frying oil up to maximum right away, it will get spattery.
Do the deep-frying in short sleeves.  If this results in flashes of pain, you're doing something wrong.