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I thought we needed one of these threads.  This is where an old fart like me asks one of you younger spags how to work his technology or make it work better.

So, I have broadband internet at home which I have going through a wireless router which services the family laptop and also my Wii.  (yes, my Wii, get yer giggles out!)  In case this helps, both the broadband internet box and router are in the basement and the laptop and Wii are on the ground floor. 

Like most civilized, yet antiquated households, we have a cordless land-line phone.  It isn't digital phone service, it's the regular, old-fashioned big Telecom phone service.  Whenever we get a phone call, or make a phone call, it seems to disrupt the internet signal going to the laptop and Wii. 

Sometimes the laptop will get the signal back, the Wii hardly ever does, and so I have to go disconnect the power from each box to reset the signal, and then it works.

So my question is "what the hell man?"  Should I have to be going through this rigamarol?  Is there something else I can do to not have this inconvenience to my life?  Is there some setting or switch or something on the router I can play with to make it better?  What gives man? 

What is this new devilry? 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38376048/ns/us_news-weird_news/

It's 55 percent and wrapped in roadkill, is this the world's most 'shocking' beer?
Bodies of squirrels, weasels and a hare used to package ale costing $765 a bottle

You'd expect a lot from a bottle of beer costing $765. What you get is 55 percent alcohol — and served in a squirrel.

According to Scottish firm BrewDog, "The End of History" is the "strongest, most expensive and most shocking beer in the world."

Just 12 bottles were made and the company has already sold out. They will be shipped out to buyers in the United States, Canada, Italy, Denmark, Scotland and England next week.

The dead animals which were used to create the beers' unusual appearance were four squirrels, seven weasels and a hare. All were roadkill, James Watt, co-founder of BrewDog, told msnbc.com.

The name of the blond Belgian ale is taken from the title of a book by philosopher Francis Fukuyama, "The End of History and the Last Man" which the company said had been chosen to imply "this is to beer what democracy is to history."

Watt said the beer should be treated with care when drinking.

"It tastes more like a whisky and you have got to handle it in that way as opposed to the way you would handle a normal beer," he told msnbc.com.

It contains juniper berries and nettles, and its taste, Watt said, has hints of cinnamon, orange and an "American hops flavor."

He said this was the last in a series of high-strength beers that the company had produced and there were no plans to go higher.

This fills me with awe, horror, and puzzlement. 

[shady underbelly]

What the thread title says:

Scandals expose venerable sumo's shady underbelly

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38255578/ns/world_news-asiapacific/

Just got the TV diary thingy yesterday. 

Ask me anything!

Holy exploding Ants, Batman!  I wonder what that goo would do to your foot. 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38243325/ns/technology_and_science-science/

Photo shows suicide bomber ant self-detonating
Some ants are terrorists, author says, not hesitating to take out others with them

Terrorism doesn't just exist among humans, according to ecologist Mark Moffett, and he has the photos to prove it.

In his new book " Adventures Among Ants" (University of California Press, 2010), Moffett describes — and shows — how some ants will commit suicide in a very dramatic way while taking others out with them. (See " Poison-Taster Ants Help Save Colonies.")

Moffett told me that in this photo, "the reddish worker cylindricus ant has detonated — rupturing her body to release a toxic yellow glue that kills her and the enemy instantly."

Just before this picture was snapped in Borneo, Moffett had set a trap at the base of a tree colonized by cylindricus ants. The trap was simply some honey that he drizzled around the tree trunk.

He describes what happened next:

"After an hour, weaver ants along with another species of carpenter ant located the bait and started arriving at the cylindricus-occupied tree. One of them started up the trunk, but then came down again. That one would live another day. Another climbed a bit higher and attempted to walk by a cylindricus minor worker. Just as I clicked the shutter there was a splash of yellow, and both ants were immobilized in a sticky, grotesque tableau." (Test your ant smarts: Take this quiz.)

In his book, Moffett describes yet another species of cylindricus ant that includes "living doors." The major worker's head flattens into a disc, he explains, "enabling her to serve as a living door to nests in hollow branches. She allows her nestmates inside only after they identify themselves by tapping the blockading disc with their antennae." (See: " Tiny Insect Brains Solve Big Problems.")

When he tried to grab a minor worker that was climbing the tree trunk, an additional protective measure took place. He said the "ant's leg fell away in my hand, in much the way that a lizard will lose its tail."

Moffett also describes a Brazilian species, Forelius pusillus, that kills entire ant nests at a time.

"Up to eight sacrificial individuals stay outside at night to seal the entrance with sand, kicking the final grains in place until no trace of the hole is visible. Walled off from their sisters, by dawn almost all are dead, for reasons unknown—perhaps the squad consists of the old or sick. The ants in the nest then clear the passage to begin the day's foraging. That night, more victims seal the door."

To understand such behavior, Moffett suggests that we think of an ant colony like a single organism. Cutting off a "minor" part may help to save the colony as a whole. "The larger the colony, the less consequential the casualty," he said. (See: " Insects actively surf the wind.")

"Such extremism in handling risk is an example of how death without reproduction can be of service to queen and colony, and a reminder that anything humans concoct — even suicide missions and terrorism — probably has a parallel in nature."

Could it be that the ever-ballooning human population means more terrorism and warfare are in our future?

No one knows for certain, but as Moffett ominously points out, the bigger a population becomes, the more it can take large-scale risks, "given that losing 10 percent of an army will be more devastating for a society of ten than for one of a million."

The 80's rock group, Men at Work were being sued by the music company that owns the rights to the kids tune, "Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree". 

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38106487/ns/today-entertainment/

I'm sure you all were forced to sing it as many times as I was in grade school music class. 

The charge was that Men at Work incorporated a bit of that tune into the flute line of their 80s hit, "Down Under".  This publishing company, Larrikin Music, was asking for 60 percent of royalties essentially from when it was released until today.

The judge has agreed that Men at Work did copy the riff and owe Larrikin royalties.  That is, they owe them 5%, and only royalties back to 2002.  Now, I'm sure the tune does still generate royalties as it has undoubtedly been incorporated into many 80s compilations since 2002, and probably some car commercials in Australia.  But it certainly isn't generating the bank it did back when it was a #1 song. 

And I have to say, I remember that Kookaburra song pretty well.  I can see where the flute notes from "Down Under" do seem to line up with Kookaburra, but it is definitely a huge stretch to be asking for 60%.  I don't think it defined "Down Under" THAT much. 

Anyway, I just think the overreach by Larrikin was rather hilarious with a rather hilarious outcome. 

Happy Canada Day!

May your day be filled with pride and bacon!

I don't really know what to add to this.  It's just all kinds of wrong. 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37925133/ns/health-skin_and_beauty/

Wrinkles? Whatever. Teens turn to Botox
Girls put the brakes on aging before it even starts

Reality TV fixture Kim Kardashian may have raised a few (unfrozen) eyebrows with her recent admission that she's already used Botox at age 30.

But for some young women, the question seems to be, "What took you so long?"

"I wanted to be cute, to look cute, but I had these ugly lines in between my eyebrows and on my forehead," says Stephanie Torres, 19, of New York. "So I asked if I could get Botox. My mom paid for it. It was like a little birthday present."

Torres, who went under the needle at age 18, is one of many teens and early 20somethings who are turning to Botox in an effort to not only smooth existing furrows, but fend off the aging process itself.

"We do a lot of Botox, and there's definitely a propensity for younger people doing it," says Dr. Glenn Vallecillos, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. "I'd say 30 percent of my clients are 20 to 25 years old and probably 5 to 8 percent are under age 20. The trend, at least at our offices, is younger people."

Statistics also suggest Botox use is trickling down even younger.

In 2009, the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery reported 12,110 Botox or Dysport (another wrinkle-relaxing shot) procedures performed on patients 18 and under (in 2008, the number was 8,194) while the American Society of Plastic Surgeons found 11,889 cosmetic Botox/Dysport procedures were performed on patients age 13 to 19 (an increase of 2 percent from 2008).

Sarah Palin is on your team, kinda:

http://www.jointogether.org/news/headlines/inthenews/2010/sarah-palin-marijuana-use.html

Sarah Palin said that she does not support marijuana legalization but seemed to offer some support for decriminalization of the drug.

CBS News reported June 17 that during a TV appearance with Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) -- who supports legalization on libertarian grounds -- Palin said, "If we're talking about pot, I'm not for the legalization of pot. I think that would just encourage especially our young people to think that it was OK to just go ahead and use it."

However, Palin also characterized marijuana use as a "minimal problem" in society relative to other issues. "I think we need to prioritize our law enforcement efforts," she said. "And if somebody's gonna smoke a joint in their house and not do anybody else any harm, then perhaps there are other things our cops should be looking at to engage in and try to clean up some of the other problems that we have in society."

During her run for vice president, Palin acknowledged a past history of smoking marijuana. The drug was decriminalized in Alaska for many years.

Congrats!   

Of course, she does also support one of my arguments as well.  Trying to have it both ways I suppose. 

We already have LMNO.  You'll need to find a new schtick. 

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=6678

So today is primary day in Maine.  We have approximately 23 people  running for Governor this year.  There is one guy I really, really want to win the Democrat nomination, and ultimately, the Governorship itself.  But, in order for me to be able to vote for him today, I would have to register as a Democrat.  I've been a Independent ever since I could vote and always maintained that I would stay an independent.  But, it is tempting to give in and register just so I can cast a vote for the guy. 

Dunno what I want to do about this......

What do you think internet spags? 

I think I just taught my 2 1/2 month old son how to scat.

Does that get me some kind of SSOOKN certification in Scatological Studies? 

Okay, so it was suggested in another thread here that there is a PD.COM norm.

Now, for me, it seems antithetical for Discordians to have a norm.  But maybe it's because I'm apparently outside of the PD.COM norm that I don't understand the norm.

Anyhoo, let's do some defining and discussing in this thread. 

If there is a pd.com norm, what is it?  Why is it?
If there is a discordian norm, what is it?  Why is it?
And do they intersect?  Are they parallel?  perpendicular?  rhombus?

Whaddya think? 

Famed scientists L. Otto Snowe, PhD and R. Lee Cole, PhD had to cancel their study of Penguins because they felt it was too polarizing. 

 

Al and Tipper Gore are separating. 

Sources suggest trouble started when Tipper found some Twisted Sister on Al's iPod. 

More at 11!

Keep your fucking forest fire smoke in your country please!
/


I've got the fucking day off, I'd love to go outside and do shit, but it's fucking smokey everywhere.
/


And complaining to the internet isn't going to make it go away!!!!
   /

Ever since kiddo #2 joined the WHN compound, time has become a very precious and scarce commodity.  We realized, when we signed up for this commitment, that this would be one of the results.  And we also know it will seem like no time before the boy is older, needing less help, and we'll be longing for the crazy mornings and early evenings we are currently experiencing.  But man, it's just non-stop around here.

You wake up, you shower, you feed yourself, the boy wakes up, he needs to be fed, the girl wakes up, she needs her Kellogs Corn Pops, now it's time to get the wife up, oh, gotta make my lunch, gotta make the girl's lunch, gotta go get dressed, gotta go get the girl's clothes, the boy needs a new diaper, wants to eat a little more, needs clothes, time to pack bags......oh yeah it's garbage day....oh fuck, the cats have to eat too.........
....and somehow we manage to cram all of this in the space of an hour and a half. 

It's the crazy part of being a parent, married to the other parent, both having 8:30-4:30 jobs, which we have to have so we can afford the food, the clothing, the shelter, the cats, the toys and games, the lawnmower, the washer and dryer, but yet, it leaves so little time to have real family time, let alone any hobbies I used to be into.  Let alone having regular dates with my lovely wife, who is an awesome mother by the way.  My days feel like they are constantly filled with work, professional and domestic.  There's not a lot of time to just....be.

I'm 35 this year, and there are days, I really look forward to 55.  Not because I want to get rid of my kids.  I love my kids.  They are great, smart, and funny kids.  They are truly making my life much more enriching than it would be without them. 

But, I'm also looking forward to a late summer day, 20 years from now, when my wife and I get home from work.  We put some burgers and veggies on the grill.  Pour some pink lemonade....and just.....be.....

[some created by eighth-graders]

The Maine GOP was pretty much forced by the Tea Party types to throw out their platform and adopt a Tea Party-approved platform:

http://www.mainepolitics.net/content/maine-republicans-adopt-tea-party-platform

An overwhelming majority of delegates to the Maine Republican convention tonight voted to scrap the the proposed party platform and replace it with a document created by a group of Tea Party activists.

The official platform for the Republican Party of Maine is now a mix of right-wing fringe policies, libertarian buzzwords and outright conspiracy theories.

The document calls for the elimination of the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve, demands an investigation of "collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth," suggests the adoption of "Austrian Economics," declares that "'Freedom of Religion' does not mean 'freedom from religion'" (which I guess makes atheism illegal), insists that "healthcare is not a right," calls for the abrogation of the "UN Treaty on Rights of the Child" and the "Law Of The Sea Treaty" and declares that we must resist "efforts to create a one world government."

It also contains favorable mentions of both the Tea Party and Ron Paul. You can read the whole thing here.

Dan Billings, who has served as an attorney for the Maine GOP, called the new platform "wack job pablum" and "nutcase stuff."

Despite the document's crazy content, Maine Republican Party Chair Charlie Webster insisted to the AP that all of the elements in the platform are things that Republicans support. He claimed to the Press Herald that these issues reflect the values of working-class Mainers.

And then there is also this:

http://www.bangordailynews.com/detail/143328.html

Maine Republican officials apologized Wednesday for an incident last week in which party faithful attending the state convention removed a pro-labor poster from a Portland middle school classroom and left behind GOP materials.

The incident involved a group of Knox County Republicans who, like hundreds of others attending the Republican state convention at the Portland Expo, had gathered Friday at a nearby middle school for county caucuses.
...
But some Knox Republicans who gathered at King Middle School that Friday apparently were less than enthusiastic about the political overtones of some posters — some created by eighth-graders — and other materials they saw in the social studies classroom.

When the teacher, Paul Clifford, returned to his classroom Monday morning, he discovered that a collage depicting the history of the labor movement was missing. In its place, someone had left a bumper sticker reading: "Working People Vote Republican."
Caucus members also apparently looked inside a closed cardboard box near Clifford's desk that contained copies of the U.S. Constitution donated by the American Civil Liberties Union. Clifford later discovered a note left behind reading, "A Republican was here. What gives you the right to propagandize impressionable kids?" according to an account in the Portland Press Herald.

It's probably a good thing that neither Susan Collins or Olympia Snow are up for re-election this year.  I think Collins goes up in 2012.  My money is on her retiring if this Tea Party stuff is still brewing. 

                                       "Hey baby, nice payload!"
                                                     /

Probably very few.

As always, playoff hockey is the best hockey.  And it's great that is now has a more regular presence on TV.  (granted you have the VS network).

Of course, I'm rooting for my team, the Cinderella story, the Canadiens who right now are doubling up the Pittsburgh Penguins.  (Fuck you Hunter!!!)

It's been a long drought, 17 fucking years since they last won the cup.  Time for the drought to end. 

They do well with the take off.....






































But they can't seem to nail the landing

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/28/us/28abortion.html?emc=eta1

So Oklahoma has passed two bills clearly aimed against abortion. 

The Oklahoma Legislature voted Tuesday to override the governor's vetoes of two abortion measures, one of which requires women to undergo an ultrasound and listen to a detailed description of the fetus before getting an abortion.

Though other states have passed similar measures requiring women to have ultrasounds, Oklahoma's law goes further, mandating that a doctor or technician set up the monitor so the woman can see it and describe the heart, limbs and organs of the fetus. No exceptions are made for rape and incest victims.

One mandates that the pregnant women have an ultrasound before having an abortion.  Oh, and they are pretty much forced to see the ultrasound and listen to the doctor put the big ol guilt trip on them.  Basically, it's about shaming them out of the abortion.  But if you thought that one was a winner, here is #2. 

The second bill shields doctors from lawsuits when they withhold details about birth defects from a pregnant woman. Yep, a doctor can decide to not tell a pregnant woman her baby has birth defects and the law will protect him/her. 

A second measure passed into law on Tuesday prevents women who have had a disabled baby from suing a doctor for withholding information about birth defects while the child was in the womb.

[McVey]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36771723/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

ASHEVILLE, N.C. - An armed man spotted at a North Carolina airport parking lot just after Air Force One departed Sunday told an officer he wanted to see the president and had a car equipped with police gear, including a siren and flashing lights, authorities said.

Joseph Sean McVey, 23, of Coshocton, Ohio, is charged with going armed in terror of the public, a misdemeanor, said Asheville Regional Airport Police Capt. Kevan Smith.

Security was heightened at the airport because President Barack Obama was leaving after spending the weekend vacationing in Asheville. He was headed to a memorial service for 29 West Virginia coal miners killed in an explosion.

At about 2 p.m., airport police saw McVey get out of a maroon car with Ohio plates and that he had a sidearm, Smith said. Both airport police and the Secret Service questioned him and he was taken into custody. The suspect was nowhere near the president's plane, which had just departed, and was in a rental car return lot that is open to the public, Smith said.

His car was equipped with clear LED law enforcement-style strobe lights in the front and rear dash, Smith said. The car also had a mounted digital camera in the front window, four large antennas on the trunk lid, and under the steering wheel was a working siren box. Smith said McVey was not in law enforcement.

Remote earpiece
When McVey got out of the car, he was listening to a handheld scanner and radio that had a remote earpiece, Smith said. Police said he was monitoring local agencies and had formulas for rifle scopes on a note in his cup holder. Police did not immediately elaborate on what the formulas might mean and Smith was not available to comment late Sunday.

McVey gave authorities an Ohio driver's license, but a computer check failed to show the number was valid, police said. His hometown of Coshocton is about halfway between Pittsburgh and Columbus, Ohio.

When Officer Kaleb Rice asked him what he was doing, McVey told him he heard the president was in town and wanted to see him.

Rice removed the firearm and took McVey into custody. He was being held at the Buncombe County jail on $100,000 bond.

The investigation into what McVey was doing with a gun, with formulas for rifle scopes and why his car was equipped with police gear was continuing, Smith said. The Secret Service had no comment on the arrest, deferring to airport police.

A jail officer said it didn't appear McVey had an attorney.

There is a good chance this is just some random nutjob, but I'd put a wager on him being affiliated with a Tea Party movement.  Also, it is a little creepy that his last name is McVey (yes, I know not exactly the same as McVeigh, but c'mon, it's still a little creepy). 

So I don't know if any of you have been following the little feud that has developed between John Stewart and Bernie Goldberg, but it has been pretty amusing.  So, last night Bernie goes on this diatribe against Stewart, talking about how his audience is stupid and how he's a Jay Leno wannabe and some other crap.  And so, John Stewart strikes back, again, with pure unadulterated win:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pspr_W-Ww1M

I don't know man.  I don't know how much longer I can watch all of the craziness without vomiting my intestines.  There is just so much bat-shit crazy coming from all angles, crawling out from every rock and pebble.  Maybe there has always been dumbshit stupid surrounding us and the internet and 24-hour cable "news" stations just make it more obvious.  I dunno.  It just seems like someone turned it up to 11 and broke the fucking knob off.

I feel like whatever shred of faith I had in the future is inches away from the gaping, razor-toothed maw of hopelessness.  It's like nobody has no damned clue of what they are talking about.  Everyone is getting their information from "experts" who are getting their information from their staffers who are just copying and pasting shit from wikipedia.  Nobody has a fucking clue.  And the few that due, are marginilized. 

This shit just isn't going to end well.  And it seems like it is only when everything is asunder that there will be agreement.  But everything is already fucked.  I think the new Dark Age has started. 

At work.  Goddamn it.  We're a health promotion entity, taking in all of this state and federal money, and it is staffed by not-ready-for-prime-time players.  We have two, yes, TWO goddamned administrative assistants.  One to fill out the spreadsheets keeping track of the money and one to answer the phone and move the little thing by our name that says we're out when we forget.  Really?  We need both of them? 

The person in charge of the substance abuse prevention programming funded by the state.  That person should have a degree in public policy, health policy, something like that, right?  Masters in music.  Music.  I have no doubt she is an accomplished pianist, but how the fuck does that make you ready to promote positive policies to keep kids off drugs?   (actually she is really nice, but woefully unequipped for the job)

And then there is the director who I've moaned about before.  He's a fucking career student.  He's working on his 3rd Master's degree, he did a bunch of PhD work but didn't have the follow through to do the dissertation, he fully admits he doesn't understand half the shit this agency is supposed to be doing, and he's fucking in charge?  He wasted a bunch of money to pay some artist to redo our logo and they're all shit, so we're stuck with the same goddamned logo, which WAS FUCKING FINE AND EVERYBODY LIKED IT EXCEPT FOR ONE IDIOT WHO IS A FUCKING IDIOT SO WHY THE GODDAMN FUCK ARE WE WASTING MONEY BECAUSE OF WHAT HE SAID?   

I'm just happy I'm in the position I'm in.  While I'm housed in this agency, 100% of my time is devoted to coordinating the substance abuse prevention under this federal grant, whose director is in the school system.  So most of the time I don't have to deal with these weirdos as much as I might.  All I know, is when the 4 years are up, and if these same people are still around, (especially Director Pachouli), I'm the fuck out of here. 

 

Ricky Martin is gay.

In other news, being immersed in water creates a damp sensation.  The rest of the story at 11!

RWHN jr arrived!  (Monday morning at 8:15 am for those keeping score at home)

You HAVE been warned.

There WILL be puns!

I'm "working" from home today, so....

Ask me anything!

Or tell me a joke.

Or give me recommendations on how to manage my new job with people I can just barely tolerate.

Or whatever you wanna do here....

I've finally figured out a way to resolve my firewall problems at work, that prevent me from conversing with you spags during business hours.

Here is my plan. 

You guys buy bus tickets, or plane tickets if it suits you.

You come to Maine.

You all apply to work at my agency (okay, well Ratatosk probably shouldn't apply ). 

We become a team of awesome and win and I get to laugh more.

The End.

It's gotta work, right?

Marmaduke, The Movie.

Can life get any better?  Can it?

So today was the first day working for the Hospital.  Well, really was just an orientation meeting and then I got to go home.  But I was disappointed.  It wasn't anything like Scrubs.  The janitor was very pleasant.  A very pleasant nurse kindly showed me to the boardroom when I got lost, and the President was very uplifting when giving us the history and mission statement.  It just doesn't seem right.

I need a Dr. Cox-like dressing down. 

Help me out here!

Ask me anything!

So I was at the state capitol yesterday with a bunch of other professionals in the substance abuse/mental health services field.  We were there to educate the lawmakers of the importance of adequate funding so these important programs could continue.  At the end, there was a press conference to proclaim yesterday substance abuse/mental health awareness day.

The director of the office of substance abuse gets up and does his speech.  The theme of his speech, "paradigm shift".  We're all standing behind him during the speech to demonstrate support and so he takes two dimes and gives them to someone and asks her to pass them around.  Yes, that's right two dimes.  A Pair of Dimes. 

I knew there was a reason I really liked the guy. 

Next target, the Governor. 

Okay, so as I've mentioned I'm leaving this job for another one.  My Director and I had a meeting right away so she could get my recommendations on how my responsibilities should be transitioned to the rest of the prevention team.  Namely we are focusing on the program I run where we train the teenagers to be good listeners and resources in their schools.  Anyway, she told me right up front to be candid and let her know if I thought there were any skill deficits with the remaining team to carry out my duties.  As I'm getting ready to leave, I'm beginning to think that perhaps I didn't properly examine that and I do have some real concerns about this program going forward with the personnel that is left.  But, at the same time, one of my hopes was that my leaving would give some kind of job security to the people left. 

So I'm wrestling with this, how honest and candid should I be in these last few days.  I believe very much in this program and it needs to continue to exist after I leave, but I do know that there is a skill set I'm taking with me that simply does not exist in the remaining staff, and I believe it is a skill set that is vital to the program continuing AND flourishing when times get better. 

Do I bite my tongue and let them figure it out? 

[Though the $1,100 value of the caviar could have covered more meals for the needy]

The homeless shelter tangent in the Pics thread reminded me of this story I saw over the weekend:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/12/30/national/main6037922.shtml

There was something special on the menu at a New York soup kitchen Thursday.

Those eating lunch at the Broadway Community Inc. facility in Manhattan got a taste of the luxury life, thanks to a gift of caviar from an anonymous donor.

The caviar was served along with sour cream and egg whites and yolks and chives on cornmeal blinis. About 150 people showed up for lunch.

Chef Michael Ennes of Broadway Community Inc., told CBS News correspondent Kelly Wallace when he heard of the caviar donation, he thought, "'Yeah, right.'"

However, when Ennes realized the donation was for real, he had to ensure everyone got a taste of the delicacy.

...

Though the $1,100 value of the caviar could have covered more meals for the needy, it was the experience that was priceless.

Yeah I know, "at least it's the thought that counts".  I'm sure it was quite an experience for the few people who got to munch on a dab of fish eggs, but come on.  How much food could that $1100 have bought to feed the 150 odd people at that soup kitchen?  Uncle or Auntie Moneybags should have at least kicked in another $1100 and bought some real food with substance that would've actually filled their stomachs to go along with the teaspoon of appetizer.  Stupid people with money should just stick to the basics.  Fill out a check, drop it in the box, and move on.  You fuck it up when you start trying to be clever. 

So, I have a job interview tomorrow.  And no matter what kind of job interview you have, you invariably get asked the tandum of questions,

What is your greatest strength?
What is your greatest weakness?

Honestly, I think both are rather stupid questions.  My approach is usually to display a little bit of honest humility but to somehow make it look like a strength at the same time.  Like, "Well sometimes I get too involved in my work and i just need to learn to take a step back every now and again."

How have you answered these questions, if you have, for interviews?  Just curious. 

Okay, so the last couple of posts in the Jazz thread got me curious.  And fuck it, this IS Apple Talk.

Give me your top 10 albums.  I'm curious to sample the musical tastes of the current crop of pd.com denizens.  Maybe we can turn each other on to some new music we haven't heard before. So go for it.  (if you can't think of 10, do top 5, or top 7, or something.  Just don't go over 10)

Here's mine:

10 - Queensryche-Operation: Mindcrime
9 - Mike Oldfield-Songs of Distant Earth
8 - Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon
7 - Sentenced - The Cold White Light
6 - My Dying Bride - Turn Loose the Swans
5 - Anathema - Serenades
4 - Savatage - Gutter Ballet
3 - Faith No More - Angel Dust
2 - Anathema - Judgement
1 - My Dying Bride - The Dreadful Hours

Have at it!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34378315/ns/entertainment-music/

Best selling album:  "No Strings Attached" by N'Sync
Top Single:  Mariah Carey
Top Artist of the Decade:  Eminem
Top Group:  Nickelback

I thought for sure top group would've been Green Day or U2. 

http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=131793

If the law of 3s is correct, Barker's beauties and Vanna White better take out some life insurance stat!

At the end of the day, we all have to come home.  Yes to family.  Yes to friends.  Yes to household pets.  They are all important.  But we also have to come home, to ourselves.  No one lives in our head but us.  No one has to maneuver the ocean of thoughts that fill our head but us.  No one else has to deal with those things that challenge us, that haunt us, that tease us, that torture us.  Our minds are a table for one.  Only we get to see what is on the menu.  And if we're lucky, we even get to decide what is on the menu. 

Society seems to want us to believe that happiness can be derived from externalities.  This is especially true during the Holiday season.  Crass commercialism tells us it's all about getting and giving "THE gift".  Whether it is that diamond ring she's always wanted, or that table saw he needs so he can build that fence around the yard.  But, then you have those seemingly noble types who say, "well, it's just about friends and family."  Being with the ones you love.  It is a very noble thought and sentiment.  It certainly does have an appeal, and far be it from me to discourage such a happy Hallmark moment.  For many in our society it works.  Or at least, they think it works.  Having friends and family and some gifts under the tree and some turkey on the table....Holiday Perfection.  It fills your heart with warm and happy fuzzy feelings.

But, as I said at the beginning, even when surrounded by loved ones, we still have to come home to ourselves.  When they are all gone, when everyone turns in for the night, there we are, alone, with OUR thoughts, with OUR worries, with OUR realities.  Home for the holidays is great, but it depends on what home you are talking about.  You can make a warm and cozy home for the family, but that may not be enough for the home in our heads.  We will nonetheless put on a great show.  Throw on a sweater.  Throw on a smile.  And throw down some mashed potatoes.

And it is a sham.  A shameful sham.  Not shame upon the individual, but shame upon the society.  The society that encourages us to throw on the sweater and smile, and to just be happy damnit!  It's the holidays.  No one is supposed to be unhappy on the holidays.  No one is supposed to be unhappy when surrounded by people who love you.  What the fuck is wrong with you?  Just get the fuck over it and sit up straight and laugh.  You're getting a brand new shiny.  You're getting apple pie for desert.  You are getting a big hug from Uncle Al.  What the hell man?  Oh, okay.  So you've got some shit going on.  Well, take some Zoloft and join the party!

And THAT is the sham.  THAT is the shame.  This society goes out of its way to avoid actually dealing with the demons.  With actually dragging them out, putting them on display, dissecting them, and figuring out how to make them go away, or at least, make them shrink.  Delving down deep is just not something we are supposed to do.  We're just supposed to take the goddamn pills and cope.  Just live with the demons.  Like they are somehow benign parasites, and not ones that are constantly eating away at our very selves.  Parasites that are actually turning us into different people.  And so the way to deal with that is to find the quick and easy superficial, surface level symptom blocker.  It's bullshit, and that shit needs to change.  But it probably won't. 

So, we just have to go it alone.  We have to find the strength within to figure out our own way.  But we also need to find the right people.  People who understand what it's like to sit at that table-for-one.  People who've seen the menu, and understand what's on it.  People who know that happiness cannot be found in plastic and jewels and superficial socializing.  People who get what it's like to be alone in a sea of humanity. 

It's fortunate that we all managed to end up here.  At least we can be alone together. 

Russian Professor creates alcohol in a pill.

http://www.myfoxmaine.com/dpp/news/dpgo-Prof-Creates-Alcohol-in-a-Pill-mb-200912011259692366347

(MYFOX NATIONAL) - A Russian professor has evolved a technique that turns alcohol into powder for packaging in pill form.

Evgeny Moskalev of Saint Petersburg Technological University created the pills, which allow people to consume their favorite drinks just like any other solid food, the Times of India reports .

The new technique can solidify any kind of alcohol. People would be able to measure the amount of alcohol they consume by taking the pills.

"We have developed a technology that allowed us to turn any liquid solution into powder," Moskalev said.

The technology has been tested on liquor containing as much as 96% alcohol content.

In 2007, blogger Chad Galiano detailed how to make "vodka pills" in 24 hours by pouring flavored alcohol syrups into cornstarch and letting it set until it forms a hard candy.

This will take care of those pesky open container laws. 

America has always been obsessed with celebrity.  But man, ever since the invention of Reality TV it seems like it's gone into overdrive.  Why the hell should any of us give a damn about how or why Tiger Woods ran his vehicle into a tree, or fire hydrant, or whatever the fuck it was.  Why does it matter?  He hits a goddamn white ball into a hole.  Who the fuck cares?  Because he's really good at hitting the goddamn white ball into the little hole he somehow must be immune to being a dumbfuck? 

Jesus, President Obama is sending 35,000 poor saps over to the desert to play "Who Wants to Be a IED Casualty?", people are STILL losing jobs, Healthcare reform seems to be pretty much dead, and we're concerned about the plight of Tiger fucking Woods?  Fuck him.  Maybe he is cheating on his wife, maybe he was drunk, maybe he's just an awful driver.  I hate myself for knowing as much about this shit as I do.  It's World AIDS day.  You know, that little auto-immune disease that is killing tons of Africans and still killing way too many Americans, but fuck if anyone would know about it because we're too busy worrying about Tiger fucking Woods. 

"Gasp!  Will he lose his endorsements?"  Of course not dumbass!  It's not like Golf is going to drop him and make Vijay Singh their poster-boy.  He's going to be just fine.  Can we put something on the national agenda that actually means something?  Like, "Why the hell is Obama such a puss?"  eh, but that's another rant. 

The ancient Japanese leader lost his legs in a logging accident, and became a sawed-off Shogun.

Well, here it is again.  The holidays are upon us.  Time to give thanks, tidings of joy, and other sentiments trademarked and giftwrapped by Hallmark and Things Remembered.  It is that magical time of year when all of our worries are supposed to melt away while we slather on some gravy.  If only it were that easy...

Cousin Nate is being shipped off to Afghanistan.
Mom has breast cancer.
Dad just lost his job, no insurance to pay for Mom.
Uncle Louie is on yet another drug cocktail for his depression. 
Grandpa is going to get kicked out of his house next week. 

Things are swimming aren't they?  So much to be thankful for.  Don't get me wrong, it is great to be together as a family once again.  But while it is a time to bond and have refuge from the world, it brings the silent desperation together and reminds in an all too palpable fashion the gloom that exists for so many. 

It is admirable for corporate America to want us to sweep our trouble away so that we may continue the grand tradition of buying shit nobody needs.  Wait, okay, it actually really isn't very admirable at all.  But it is understandable.  They still need to put food on their table.  They have families to go home to as well.  It just makes it very trite and phony, however. 

And as it turns out, we didn't have the money for the big turkey, and the big bag of potatoes, and the 25 pies.  But you know, grilled cheese sandwiches will do the trick.  Now, let's all huddle around the Kerosene space heater.  Oh, Johnny, crack the window a bit okay?  Don't want to go and get carbon monoxide poisoning.  I'm pretty sure Anthem doesn't cover that. 

Ask me anything.

Then pummel me with a shovel, please!

Old Age. 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33963627/ns/entertainment-celebrities/

Here are some photos I took during one of the training retreats.  Some of them came out pretty well, if I do say so myself.  And I do!

So I was out of my office for about 30 minutes.  I was in the back scanning some surveys.  I come back to see a little yellow square with a heart drawn on it, on top of my shift button.  What's it mean?  What is going on? 

It's hard to believe it's been 20 years already since, you know what happened.  What a chaotic night it was in Berlin.  Who could imagine that this would've happened?  I was trawling around the internet and found this cool video of some never before seen footage, it's pretty amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zXiClnK8oE