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71
Apple Talk / Re: What If?
« Last post by The Commander on September 28, 2021, 07:58:50 am »
What if God actually does want us all to get along, and to gain wisdom, and mature into a functioning global society...and keeps inspiring teachers to help us on that path....but we look at these folks each time and say either "FUCK YOU!" OR "You make some nice points but when you die, we're going to murder all the folks that don't believe just like we do"?

Who's the asshole now?

.......

......


.....

It's me. I'm the asshole.

The Commander
DIA
73
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Fujikoma on September 27, 2021, 09:36:04 pm »
Oh great, got my blood pressure up there, Howl, you know I need my fix.
74
Apple Talk / What If?
« Last post by Doktor Howl on September 27, 2021, 07:01:32 pm »
What if all the things They told you are true?  What if there IS a God, and he's just as described?  We're just his ant farm.  The kind of thing a kid gets and is absolutely FASCINATED by for a few days...and then forgets about it.  The ants get hungrier and meaner, and before long, ant-pocalypse.  The whole while, they're praying to the kid to come back and set things right, but he DOESN'T, so they decided that Those Bastards Over There have been SINNING, and that's why God doesn't come back.  Poof.  Instant pogroms, wars, and the kind of ants than bang on your door when you're hung over, just in case you haven't heard the GOOD NEWS.  The Good News being how you get to go to ant heaven if you are suitably shitty to those Other Bastards.  In God's name.

Meanwhile, the kid is on his X-box, playing WWF.  No living ant has any proof that he actually exists, but boy howdy, will they tell you all about it. 

What if the devil is, as described in the book of Job, a civil servant of God?  Take a minute, look it up.  The first chapter ought to do you just fine.  So God is allowing this guy to screw people up, sometimes on a BET, and God just goes along with it.  Maybe there are space constraints in heaven and God didn't really think we'd be quite this fruitful.  7.9 billion of us, all wanting our heavenly condo...When he had probably planned on maybe 150 million tops.  So he has the devil running around trying to make sure as many people find themselves somewhere else when they die.  What if hell is just a storage locker?

And then there's those OTHER guys that tell us WHAT.  Take for example the Wheeler interpretation.  What if you actually exist in an infinite number of universes, with every decision point made by an intelligent being splitting off another one?  The good news is that in at least a couple of those universes, you did just fine...Financially fine, a great love life, and you're all-around happy.  The BAD news is that those universes aren't real to this one, so you're stuck in the life you got.  And the OTHER bad news is, in most of those universes, you're even more fucked up than you are here.

Example:  In universe 2, Trump got reelected and went hog wild.  In universe 3, he didn't get reelected, but the 1/6 insurrection succeeded, and now you are getting on a train to go hang out with all the other liberals and leftists and paleoconservatives.  Somewhere in Northern Alaska, maybe.  Concertina wire and dogs may be involved, and you will now learn the joys of hard labor on 1100 calories a day.

Or wait.  What if those ivory tower dumbasses are right, and this is all a hologram?  You can't even use the barstool test to dismiss this one, because the barstool would be part of the hologram.  What kind of person would run a hologram like that, and how would that be different than a negligently hostile God?  You couldn't distinguish between them.

Lastly, what if I got some sleep?  Would things be better or not?  Is this universe hopelessly fucked, or is it just my BAD ATTITUDE?

Or Kill Me.

75
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Doktor Howl on September 27, 2021, 04:45:29 pm »
Wait, please don't tell me you won't be updating this? It's the single goddamn reason I come here.

Oh, I will be.  I have about 5 pages to write about this place, once things settle a bit.

Then it will be the next place.
76
Apple Talk / Re: Cram! fuck's sake!
« Last post by The Commander on September 27, 2021, 06:51:54 am »
I've heard goats are a great environmentally friendly alternative to lawn mowers. We use them for vacuum cleaners here at DIA HQ as well. The occasional classified document gets eaten, but that just keeps it super secret.

The Commander
DIA
77
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« Last post by Pergamos on September 27, 2021, 01:08:25 am »
Is it Tuscon that is filled with hippies?  My only experience in Arizona is some training I did at Fort Huachuca down south.

The Commander
DIA

There's less hippies than anywhere in the pacific northwest, but more than Phoenix for sure.
78
Apple Talk / Re: I like boobs
« Last post by Pergamos on September 27, 2021, 01:04:52 am »
I just read through this entire thread, and I am quite surprised how philosophical it got at times. Hilarious as well. Of course, given the topic, there was a fair amount of lewdness, but also insightful commentary.

The downside is it makes me nostalgic for some of the folks who are no longer active on the board.

The Commander
DIA

Tell us about the people you miss and why, that's half the fun nowadays.
79
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Fujikoma on September 26, 2021, 09:11:52 pm »
Wait, please don't tell me you won't be updating this? It's the single goddamn reason I come here.
80
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« Last post by The Commander on September 26, 2021, 03:18:29 pm »
Is it Tuscon that is filled with hippies?  My only experience in Arizona is some training I did at Fort Huachuca down south.

The Commander
DIA
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