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Hold on a minute here, I have a fucking TALE TO TELL YOU.

I'm ripping this from the email I wrote to a wonderful lady in Michigan who helps no-hopers like me find work, and asked me to keep her looped in after I got to Boston.

Ahem.



So! The precise moment I changed over all of my information to point to Boston on ZipRecruiter and Monster, I had recruiters doing the stalker heavy breathing thing over my shoulder. Literally, all over me like sand on a beach. I'm hardly exaggerating here: four job offers before I could even place a search, seven more after I finally got a search typed in.

I had between fifteen and twenty phone calls a day from recruiters, I could barely do so much as wash my hands without missing a call. In fact, I missed a call while in an interview, missed another call from the same person in that same interview, and missed five texts from the same person in the same interview. This interview took fifteen minutes.

From that initial 4, one in particular was a huge stretch. People in fancy suits and such turning up to apply, giant company doing outsourced direct marketing campaign work for Fortune 100 companies. Enter me, dressed in the usual hoodie, jeans, t-shirt, sweating like a pig, lugging two giant bags like a hobo, panting like a dog. Minimal work history in an old, old field. No qualifications at all.

Absolutely ridiculous that I'd even bother wasting their time, yeah? I mean, I was seeing other offers in the minimum wage range, doing cold lead sales and call center tech support. That's definitely my speed: low-level consumer-facing punishment-detail type work. This though? This is big time: folks with expensive suits purpose designed to intimidate the Morlocks of blue collar land, and cars that sound like they belong on a Formula One track and look like spaceships. People who fly out of the country twice a week and cannot imagine a bank account with less than five figures in it. (That would be "flat broke" to such rarified individuals.) This is way out of my league, right?

Not right. I got into the second round of interviews, which is 1% of the first round of interviews: I was in the top ten applicants. That's already crazy: all these rich Harvard kids fell below me on the pecking order. So I go in for the second round only slightly nicer (showered, dress shirt, only one bag). And apparently ace the interview hard.

So then they immediately rushed me through the third round of interviews, which is top five applicants out of over 1000 applicants. So five MORE rich Harvard/MIT students fall out of the running. And I'm still there. Finish that round, go home, and wait for the call.

Call comes up. First they ask me how I thought I did. By this point I'm getting a big ol' ego boost, so I tell them I think I did amazing, certainly better than the folks who didn't make it to all three rounds, right? She says yep, you're right, Brian and Garrett thought you did fantastic. Then the drumroll beings, here comes the reveal. And the winner is... well. Just, bear with me here:

I was in the top 2 or 3 applicants. Out of over 1000.
They recommended me for management fast track.
—Assuming I do the work, this means things like "having access to the company yacht" and "international business trips" inside of two months.
——That's two months like "late September". At the outside.
And finally...
Expectation is that I come in to start Monday. As in the day after the day after tomorrow. Probably just "the day after tomorrow" or "today" when you get this, depending on the day.

Well. Uh.

Boston!

That's awesome! Congratulations!

It's been awhile, so let's do some updating. Give me a Personal Text, Custom Title, and some delightful nonsense for my signature. If you please, of course.

Holy Name™:  Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene.

Sig forthcoming

I likey!

It's been awhile, so let's do some updating. Give me a Personal Text, Custom Title, and some delightful nonsense for my signature. If you please, of course.

Thirded

 

https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/08/health/recreational-marijuana-laws-teens-study/index.html?utm_term=link&utm_source=fbCNN&utm_content=2019-07-14T11%3A33%3A17&utm_medium=social&fbclid=IwAR2nQ-j0_X_ChEYkavdC2bphoFGdCPEp2-62KxPs4NjgIZYlSM94LeogNQo

No, not at all. I'm saying put aside litmus tests, get the orange buffoon out of office. If he gets another 4 years, shit's gonna get worse.

You're acting like Trump is the cause, and not the symptom.

If, somehow, a Centrist Dem boots Trump, you think the GOP is gonna say, "ok, your turn"?

No, they'll go on a vicious attack, and the Centrist will compromise, which is another way of saying, "well, I guess some genocide is all right."

A Leftist president will fight like hell and give it right back to them.

Well, yes.  The root cause of failure here is "Americans".

That does seem to be the common theme

On the last leg of my latest trip, headed out to Boston. I had an almost totally uneventful journey, except for the damages of regular travel and a 12 hour layover in Detroit. (Our bus was late coming in, we missed the connection, and we had to wait for the next one.)

A friend is getting me a hotel room when I arrive, and from there begins the wonderful task of finding housing and income. It's going to be some effort, but if I have to be homeless anywhere, Boston's where it's at I think.

Oof. Well, welcome to Boston when you get here

I arrived early yesterday and spent the day half-awake with QGP (briefly) and her husband (mostly). My feet are angry at me. Maybe if you've got some free time I could say hi, I'm going to have a lot of empty time today and probably be traveling anyway.

I might have a bit of time tomorrow--what part of Boston are you around?

On the last leg of my latest trip, headed out to Boston. I had an almost totally uneventful journey, except for the damages of regular travel and a 12 hour layover in Detroit. (Our bus was late coming in, we missed the connection, and we had to wait for the next one.)

A friend is getting me a hotel room when I arrive, and from there begins the wonderful task of finding housing and income. It's going to be some effort, but if I have to be homeless anywhere, Boston's where it's at I think.

Oof. Well, welcome to Boston when you get here

I've heard commented that AOC has some really anti-war stuff going on, and thats of the things that totally disqualifies you from presidential leadership... you can succeed as a major or governor... but i think shes peaked, shes not even gonna get to be a senator, and much less president.

Shes too soft and weak, shell either never make it nor be allowed to.

She IS a senator.

She's in the House, not the Senate. So while she is a Congressthing, she's not a Senator.

I've heard commented that AOC has some really anti-war stuff going on, and thats of the things that totally disqualifies you from presidential leadership... you can succeed as a major or governor... but i think shes peaked, shes not even gonna get to be a senator, and much less president.

Shes too soft and weak, shell either never make it nor be allowed to.

Who said anything about her running for president?

Even if I found the need to have a gun, I wouldn't be enthusiastic about it. I'd be bummed out that I lived in a shitty society that necessitated having a gun.

Big fucking mood

Also why the fuck are yall entertaining drugs are bad mkay shitty suit mcshutup and go back to your shitty maine with your shit ass smaller than my desert podunk hometown capital?

ACA was a center-left policy.

What's left wing about forcing people to buy insurance from private companies?

The Dune series goes downhill pretty quickly after God Emperor, IMO.

I mean, it goes Downhill after Dune. Children was pretty good because it was Dune-like

It goes downhill after the copyright notice in Dune.

It is the second worst science fiction ever written, and Frank Herbert's grave should be desecrated.

Even if I found the need to have a gun, I wouldn't be enthusiastic about it. I'd be bummed out that I lived in a shitty society that necessitated having a gun.