"I feel like I'm being gang raped by the three of you via text message."
*
"Hello, I am an exiled Nigerian Prince..."
(no, rly)
You just got f'ed in the a. hehe.
Quote from: Cain on August 05, 2008, 03:43:52 AM
"Hello, I am an exiled Nigerian Prince..."
(no, rly)
AND I UNDERSTAND YOU WOULD LIKE MY ROUTING NUMBER. OK. IS GOOD.
Best text message I ever received: "I am starving like an orphaned meerkat under the blazing African sun."
"A white supremacist with a distaste for baseball."
<3
"I can't stop saying 'garbage island' and giggling uncontrollably"
"I mean, are you really surprised that it got stuck?"
Wow! I wish I could speak whale.
"are they stealth?"
"But what about your pants?"
"beer AND random nudity!"
"lactose intolerance: like hiroshima, only up your ass." followed shortly thereafter by "oh god my ass"
"What if I drove by, crashed through the gates and started flinging poo at the building?"
"What, when I gotta poop?"
"Slugs in garlic sauce are always good"
"Agreed. Or give the women each axes and let them have at him. They'll find the veins."
"You have a way with turds."
"If I could gnaw my own ears off I would."
"Don't spoil this gift the gods have given you or they rain poop down upon you."
"I know I just ate but I'm hungry again."
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on August 05, 2008, 05:37:14 PM
"beer AND random nudity!"
"lactose intolerance: like hiroshima, only up your ass." followed shortly thereafter by "oh god my ass"
:mittens:
"Pandas poop 40 times a day!!"
"i'm pretty drunk, and in wegmans! mmm granola"
"you're comin with me if i have to abort the shit outta somethin"
"my heart is crying tears of blood"
"TAKING HEAVY FIRE! NEED IMMEDIATE SUPPORT!"
"oh man, I'm like, pretty drunk right now..."
"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! HELP US!"
"Is this Dave?"
"WHAT!?"
"What?"
"Sorry, wrong number."
"uh..."
*click*
TTM,
really hoping that was a prank call.
Damn.
TTM,
pretty sure it was a prank call because anyone dumb enough to call him for help when they're "taking heavy fire" shouldn't survive long enough to reproduce.
Yep, definitely a prank. They called again requesting crapspackle and grid square sodomizing widgets delivered via roflcopter. I was promised whiskey in return for my support.
Quote from: ten ton mantis on August 07, 2008, 05:44:03 AM
Yep, definitely a prank. They called again requesting crapspackle and grid square sodomizing widgets delivered via roflcopter. I was promised whiskey in return for my support.
:lulz:
:lulz:
Quote from: ten ton mantis on August 07, 2008, 05:44:03 AM
Yep, definitely a prank. They called again requesting crapspackle and grid square sodomizing widgets delivered via roflcopter. I was promised whiskey in return for my support.
Well did you do it? Did you get the whiskey?! This is important, man!
"No, I don't want another spice rack for my birthday."
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 07, 2008, 03:10:27 PM
"No, I don't want another spice rack for my birthday."
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on August 07, 2008, 03:06:01 PM
Quote from: ten ton mantis on August 07, 2008, 05:44:03 AM
Yep, definitely a prank. They called again requesting crapspackle and grid square sodomizing widgets delivered via roflcopter. I was promised whiskey in return for my support.
Well did you do it? Did you get the whiskey?! This is important, man!
Turns out, there's no such thing as a grid square.
EDIT: Oh right, whiskey. No I didn't get any whiskey :*(
However, I was given vodka in return for the use of my helicopter.
"Jason just called me an assgoblin!"
"I wish I could sleep in the shed, that would be rad"
"Why is Eris counting my boobs?"
"But it might scald."
"Making sure I'm not being left in the dark, like Hitler: Jews, I don't know 'bout no Jews."
"Gonna go fleshlighting for a lil. Be home by 10"
"Can you believe two hardons zooming toward each other will be the last of humanity?"
"hey dorkus, i'm in no way, shape or form upset whichu. mom said u thought i might be. but we all know how tardlike she is."
Can't come now. There's a copperhead in my pants.
"May a moody baby doom a yam".
"I just wanna mack on a bitch you know?"
"fortified with Vietnamese Foaming Asp!"
"He got voted off i am BAWWWWing" <--NOTSOMEONEONTHEFORUMRLY
"i do like you and ice cream and beer! but DEATH"
Quote from: Eve on August 23, 2008, 09:45:35 PM
"He got voted off i am BAWWWWing" <--NOTSOMEONEONTHEFORUMRLY
WASNTMENONONO
"baggy saggy eyes and skinny face...but damn that ass...bounce go the quarters!"
"Bacon is my Jesus."
"i just saw THE belgian waffle!!!!"
Quote from: Frederieke Noodle on August 25, 2008, 04:51:20 PM
"i just saw THE belgian waffle!!!!"
Incidentally, it was Waffle Day yesterday...and coincidentally, we had Mickey Mouse waffles for breakfast.
"It happened in the Great Cartoon Crossover of '65."
i keep looking through my text message history, but all i get are full context messages along the lines of where are you i'm here meet you at X and i missed the bus see you at Y dont forget to bring your Z
(where X Y and Z are all perfectly harmless sensible terms)
"Rocky is in my Spanish class."
"ODIN!!"
"Have you considered a poison dart?"
"An alarm clock 30 ft high with razor teeth and lazer eyes! With a 1.21 giggawatt tazer for a snooze button! It'll shit plutonium and eat stars for lunch!"
"Apparently when someone says 'what do you think when I say metrics' the correct answer is not 'stupid business jargon that you change every couple of quarters to make it look like you do something'."
"Do you ever pass someone so ugly that you don't want to breathe in after you pass them because you might inhale some of their ugly?"
"My childhood is basically the smell of bactine and granola"
This is from a sixth grade worksheet I'm editing right now.
"Before the 1500s, what kinds of balls did Europeans play with?"
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on August 28, 2008, 04:49:43 PM
This is from a sixth grade worksheet I'm editing right now.
"Before the 1500s, what kinds of balls did Europeans play with?"
:spittake:
"This studnet is changing their underwear"
"Oh! I have a hot and salty load for you!!"
Ps,we got dicks like jesus.
"OH GOD ALIEN AND ICE CREAM ARE EATING PUPPY OH NOES"
(bump!)
"TIME IS A MASTURBATING KITTEN THAT KILLS EVERY GOD."
"Gave him enema, he pooed"
(friend talking about her cat)
"HIPPOPOTAMUS."
"YO!! tell him how badly u want his babies!!"
Quote from: Squiddy on October 18, 2008, 06:23:21 AM
"Gave him enema, he pooed"
(friend talking about her cat)
hey is that CONTEXT I see there? Stop breaking the rules!
my bad
"Do you happen to know how my facebook status got changed to heather has big boobies?"
OH GOD HOW DID I GET HERE I AM NOT VERY GOOD WITH MOBILE.
"I am sending you guerilla virtual txt pork."
"I feel like it will break if I look at it for too long"
"wheres ur roommate im gonna ear rape her"
Tonight, we're going to rip it hardcore like porno flick bitches.
"Hahahaha! Victor is Discordian!"
I think that it has something to do with The Young & the Restless. :?
"Who r u and y tha fuck arnt u cat?"
From a wrong number.
"Your crazy as fuck! just remember to bring glow sticks and trazadone"
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
At 1:31 am this morning:
"Tha sign indicates I sjpilf per my pants now but I think I have a rational alternative"
"I'm eating breakfast you fuck. I hope you're happy."
I am masturbating and crying, obviously
in america you put in god we trust on your money
in russia we have no money
Quote from: TheScarletReaper on October 19, 2008, 11:06:20 PM
Tonight, we're going to rip it hardcore like porno flick bitches.
(http://web.syr.edu/~jskatz/wutang.jpg)
Well, maybe just most of your ass
"Daaaamn. The sale on those ended yastardday. And other meat or chucken parts you want. ;) "
"I liek small chunks. ;)"
"Onion creek!"
...from my landlord. :?
"Omg tranny hooker!"
"Bye eve, this is the closest we ever been"
"Yesssss :D He squished me! several times! a black man jtst tnld me the boogie man is gonna get me :("
"i looooooooove you i want to marry you and go on expeditions to find jew gold together!!!!!!!!!!"
Quote from: Eve on November 07, 2008, 11:53:33 AM
"Omg tranny hooker!"
"Bye eve, this is the closest we ever been"
"Yesssss :D He squished me! several times! a black man jtst tnld me the boogie man is gonna get me :("
OHAI THOSE WERE FROM ME!!!!! :D
"Osmosis gave me a hangover, wtf?"
Mark the Welsh: thats what you get for going to tree school
From my cousin:
FWD: Just think. If the pilgrims had given the indians a donkey instead of a turkey for dinner, we'd all be getting a piece of ass for thanksgiving!
(not really out of context, but this was so very my cousin--I leave her a vm and she sends me this on my phone)
If we ever fuck you're gonna wreck me.
IMA TEXT YOU HORRID THINGS TTM. PREPARE TO DIE.
BWAHAAAAHAAHHA
"didn't die from pooin awesome bout to get the fun this place has been dead since about 4"
"The last one was removed."
" My god, it's so wrong. It's so bad. But I love Flipper!"
"theres lube everywhere. plz help!"
"your about to open a large can of worms young man.. I hope your ready"
:|
"But I got a bitchin Flat Screen TV."
"Oh crust"
"Lol! Damp"
"Um, Yea. i had an itch on the bottom of my foot and for some reason I smelled my hand after I scratched it. I don't know what I expected"
"TAKE MY BREATH AWAAAAAAY!!"
I'm pretty sure every text message I've posted here has been from Fred.
:D i was singing you rawkin 80s tunes!!!
Oshit, dick pills in the returns bucket!
LOTS of fucking. Bring your camera and some protection, if you know what I mean. It might get hairy.
Vomit on him anyway. Please? For me?
DUDE BEER PONG KEG STANDS AND DATE RAPE FOR THE WIN
I like to believe that leslie ann levine is in love with the chimbley sweep.
I love cunt you rentfagwhoreslut
Do you want me to keep it in her box?
Climbing mt everest
with a response of...
I can't find the restroom the pretzels are amazing....
"my mom just suggested that i start working in the adult industry"
"he started doing it in the bucket"
I would bet this is a prank from one of my friends, except I don't recognize the number from which it came. If it isn't a prank, then I feel bad that "julie" will never get this guy's message:
"hay julie wuts up iv thot about u a about wut that has happen an such a lot i have to say it but i wan to be wit u for teh rest me of my life, ur cool an understand with me how i want me to be, i want to be wit yuo 4ver wood u b my wife? i don have much 2 giv now butt u have my life wich i givto u 2 make u ahpy i luv u 4evar an 4 the rest of my life, i luv u julie."
I dunno, I think "julie" has probably dodged a bullet there.
Unless she wants to be stuck with an illiterate who cannot remember her phone number, and makes marriage proposals by text message.
You should text him back, saying, "Thank god you proposed! Now my baby will have a father."
Quote from: Cain on December 05, 2008, 02:12:55 PM
I dunno, I think "julie" has probably dodged a bullet there.
Unless she wants to be stuck with an illiterate who cannot remember her phone number, and makes marriage proposals by text message.
Very true. Now I feel like a good samaritan for having taken the brunt of his idiocy for her. Unless, of course, she is equally idiotic, and would have said "yes."
Quote from: LMNO on December 05, 2008, 02:14:11 PM
You should text him back, saying, "Thank god you proposed! Now my baby will have a father."
:lulz:
Just sent it. I'll see if he replies.
"JESUS FUCK! THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!"
Even in context it pretty much means what you'd think.
lol @ explosion involving sewer line and the people who have to be around it
Quote from: Ten Ton Mantis on December 08, 2008, 06:27:03 AM
"JESUS FUCK! THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!"
Even in context it pretty much means what you'd think.
lol @ explosion involving sewer line and the people who have to be around it
:x
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 05, 2008, 02:25:39 PM
Quote from: Cain on December 05, 2008, 02:12:55 PM
I dunno, I think "julie" has probably dodged a bullet there.
Unless she wants to be stuck with an illiterate who cannot remember her phone number, and makes marriage proposals by text message.
Very true. Now I feel like a good samaritan for having taken the brunt of his idiocy for her. Unless, of course, she is equally idiotic, and would have said "yes."
Quote from: LMNO on December 05, 2008, 02:14:11 PM
You should text him back, saying, "Thank god you proposed! Now my baby will have a father."
:lulz:
Just sent it. I'll see if he replies.
Got a response yesterday evening!
"Fcuk you fagit mind yor own dam busness taht message wasnt 4 u go fuk yorslf"
Sounds like a really sweet guy. You're welcome, julie.
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 08, 2008, 04:31:31 PM
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 05, 2008, 02:25:39 PM
Quote from: Cain on December 05, 2008, 02:12:55 PM
I dunno, I think "julie" has probably dodged a bullet there.
Unless she wants to be stuck with an illiterate who cannot remember her phone number, and makes marriage proposals by text message.
Very true. Now I feel like a good samaritan for having taken the brunt of his idiocy for her. Unless, of course, she is equally idiotic, and would have said "yes."
Quote from: LMNO on December 05, 2008, 02:14:11 PM
You should text him back, saying, "Thank god you proposed! Now my baby will have a father."
:lulz:
Just sent it. I'll see if he replies.
Got a response yesterday evening!
"Fcuk you fagit mind yor own dam busness taht message wasnt 4 u go fuk yorslf"
Sounds like a really sweet guy. You're welcome, julie.
How does it feel to be jilted?
Quote from: Harlequin on December 08, 2008, 04:57:59 PM
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 08, 2008, 04:31:31 PM
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 05, 2008, 02:25:39 PM
Quote from: Cain on December 05, 2008, 02:12:55 PM
I dunno, I think "julie" has probably dodged a bullet there.
Unless she wants to be stuck with an illiterate who cannot remember her phone number, and makes marriage proposals by text message.
Very true. Now I feel like a good samaritan for having taken the brunt of his idiocy for her. Unless, of course, she is equally idiotic, and would have said "yes."
Quote from: LMNO on December 05, 2008, 02:14:11 PM
You should text him back, saying, "Thank god you proposed! Now my baby will have a father."
:lulz:
Just sent it. I'll see if he replies.
Got a response yesterday evening!
"Fcuk you fagit mind yor own dam busness taht message wasnt 4 u go fuk yorslf"
Sounds like a really sweet guy. You're welcome, julie.
How does it feel to be jilted?
The wounded soul in me wants to cry tears which would fill 10,000 oceans. The emotion is compounded by the English Nazi in me, which wants to commit suicide over the atrocities that it witnessed in the text message.
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 08, 2008, 04:31:31 PM
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 05, 2008, 02:25:39 PM
Quote from: Cain on December 05, 2008, 02:12:55 PM
I dunno, I think "julie" has probably dodged a bullet there.
Unless she wants to be stuck with an illiterate who cannot remember her phone number, and makes marriage proposals by text message.
Very true. Now I feel like a good samaritan for having taken the brunt of his idiocy for her. Unless, of course, she is equally idiotic, and would have said "yes."
Quote from: LMNO on December 05, 2008, 02:14:11 PM
You should text him back, saying, "Thank god you proposed! Now my baby will have a father."
:lulz:
Just sent it. I'll see if he replies.
Got a response yesterday evening!
"Fcuk you fagit mind yor own dam busness taht message wasnt 4 u go fuk yorslf"
Sounds like a really sweet guy. You're welcome, julie.
Holy shit, I don't even know what to say.
"i am a snot bucket"
Quote from: Frederieke Noodle on December 09, 2008, 08:09:53 PM
"i am a snot bucket"
:D I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE FROM.
Admit it--it was a good wake up alarm.
:argh!: 8:30 am text messages! what nonsense!
"OUT OF CONTEXT MESSAGE!" ~000
:D
common, you know you love to fuck me as much as i love to fuck you, its what this friendship is built on
"IK HOU VAN JOU... AND YOAR BOOBS TOO!!!"
"Tell her that! Also tell her she's more clingy than a tape worm :("
from my girlfriend:
"Ow, my vag!"
"How are your nipples?"
"Fine,thanks...and yours?
"In 2009 no one is going to write anything down"
beet boot boot byte boot beet beet boot
From me to The Wife: You are now imagining the couple in the next booth doing it.
Girlfriend sent me this at about 8am this morning:
FACT: I am now wearing the most retarded bra ever
FACT!
Just thought you all might like to know about my girlfriend's bra... :p
Pics or gtfo...
the committee to elect a committee to remodel limbo has decided in fact not to elect a committee and that limbo should infact change to the will of the discordean populace with out us having to do any thing (we got tired and decided to go eat hot dogs). further more the usual destination for deceased discordians "the disco" has been annexed onto the far east side of limbo. that is all for the time being.
Please don't pee in my mouth
Fuk u dood! i thot u was a bitch! $DIE4Mine$
I shaved my butt and it itches.
"i break everything!&!#$!$ ALL YOUR PLATES"
"stop poking the dildo"
"buttplug?"
AHHHH FUCKING SMORFNUGGETS THESE REFS ARE DOING COKE OUT OF EACH OTHERS ASSHOLES
"I found out the church on the corner was originally called the Deutsche Congregationale Zion Kirche"
"That was the nickname I gave my anus back in 2004!"
homemade teriyaki?
"Excuse me while I whip this out"
I'm sorry I elbowed you in the vagina.
THIS IS AMERICA WE DONT READ THE FINE PRINT
thats whats the goverment is for.
:mullet:
"Can you poop at work?"
"Well, one of my regulars just tipped me in weed"
And the next one...
"...and then the midget managed to fall off a table and spill a bucket on her in the process. Yeah, it's a good night so far."
FARTS
"Should I become the poo clench?"
The message that came before:
"I love it when I have to poop but then I clench and it goes back up my ass. It feels so weird."
"butt zit conquered"
Thankfully not sent to me, but to my wife. She has weird friends.
Quote from: Felix on January 19, 2010, 05:36:33 AM
The message that came before:
"I love it when I have to poop but then I clench and it goes back up my ass. It feels so weird."
I don't think knowing that actually helps.
"In my butt?"
Quote from: Cain on January 19, 2010, 08:44:47 AM
Quote from: Felix on January 19, 2010, 05:36:33 AM
The message that came before:
"I love it when I have to poop but then I clench and it goes back up my ass. It feels so weird."
I don't think knowing that actually helps.
Okay, I'll fess up.
I was texting my friend to creep him out. Fairly standard procedure. :)
Quote from: Felix on January 20, 2010, 03:05:27 AM
Quote from: Cain on January 19, 2010, 08:44:47 AM
Quote from: Felix on January 19, 2010, 05:36:33 AM
The message that came before:
"I love it when I have to poop but then I clench and it goes back up my ass. It feels so weird."
I don't think knowing that actually helps.
Okay, I'll fess up.
I was texting my friend to creep him out. Fairly standard procedure. :)
Well I for one hate it when that happens. It's like my sphincter is trying to dash my hopes, despite the good treatment it gets.
OH MAN ... i have a friend who i haven't spoken to in almost a year and a half...what should i text him?
Quote from: Nast on January 20, 2010, 03:18:23 AM
Quote from: Felix on January 20, 2010, 03:05:27 AM
Quote from: Cain on January 19, 2010, 08:44:47 AM
Quote from: Felix on January 19, 2010, 05:36:33 AM
The message that came before:
"I love it when I have to poop but then I clench and it goes back up my ass. It feels so weird."
I don't think knowing that actually helps.
Okay, I'll fess up.
I was texting my friend to creep him out. Fairly standard procedure. :)
Well I for one hate it when that happens. It's like my sphincter is trying to dash my hopes, despite the good treatment it gets.
How the hell does one pamper their sphincter?
Note: I am speaking rhetorically, do not answer.
Quote from: Burns on January 20, 2010, 04:50:45 AM
OH MAN ... i have a friend who i haven't spoken to in almost a year and a half...what should i text him?
"Look behind you."
Quote from: Burns on January 20, 2010, 04:50:45 AM
OH MAN ... i have a friend who i haven't spoken to in almost a year and a half...what should i text him?
"Oh my god they're ALL dead?! Why didn't you feed them?! OOOOH the smell!"
Just sent another text to him to inspire paranoia.
"Look out the window and wave. The man in the green suit will tell you what to do next."
"I feel like stabbing a hole inside my stomach then vomiting blood all over the checkstands at work."
come over, ill protect you
So adventure means skipping and flowers, right?
Awh I did not see it I apologize. Omg I discovered firefly this week its awesome
Cake?
You could run, run to the forest
"thats honestly the most metal thing that humans have ever done. it was a big powerful train that ran on the dead."
"Try it. Try calling someone brotato chip. Tell them to chillax, when they get irritated. Act completely calm.
Its so erotic."
"I had a reply to you in my outbox, but I didn't send it."
You must have misheard me, when you thought I said "I fucking love you" what i actually said was "I love fucking you". So I'm terribly sorry, but you're dumped.
Quote from: Sigmatic on June 08, 2010, 07:03:18 AM
"Try it. Try calling someone brotato chip. Tell them to chillax, when they get irritated. Act completely calm.
Its so erotic."
Oh shit, this actually made me choke on my cracker a little. :lulz:
Bump for:
"Wut is it called when u push so hard ur ass false out? refering to ur ems call a few months ago."
An Ass Tulip?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ass+tulip
Quote from: Sigmatic on June 08, 2010, 07:03:18 AM
"Try it. Try calling someone brotato chip. Tell them to chillax, when they get irritated. Act completely calm.
Its so erotic."
one of mine this week from my sister:
*not sure what broseph means.. is that something stupid like combining bro and the name joseph? god that's stupid. I hope you don't call people that to their face*
:lulz:
Quote from: BadBeast on September 04, 2010, 05:28:54 PM
An Ass Tulip?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ass+tulip
I think he was referring to prolapse, which was the ems call I got. But I think the term I used to describe it to him was meat sock.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 04, 2010, 05:33:40 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on September 04, 2010, 05:28:54 PM
An Ass Tulip?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ass+tulip
I think he was referring to prolapse, which was the ems call I got. But I think the term I used to describe it to him was meat sock.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :horrormirth:
Quote from: The Dancing Pickle on September 04, 2010, 05:32:12 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on June 08, 2010, 07:03:18 AM
"Try it. Try calling someone brotato chip. Tell them to chillax, when they get irritated. Act completely calm.
Its so erotic."
one of mine this week from my sister:
*not sure what broseph means.. is that something stupid like combining bro and the name joseph? god that's stupid. I hope you don't call people that to their face*
:lulz:
Douchey neologisms FTW.
Actually, that gives me an idea...
"It's through you guys that I'm able to touch that place inside myself called love. I think I learned that when I stopped being in love with you to being with you ... in love. Or in the presence of love. Then that presence took th forms of my children and the whole thing is happening all over again."
Sounds like the keyboard's been drinking again.
i tried but the door wouldnt let me open it
"it's like peanut butter on a cat!"
"Because is not a justafiable reason to let you wear a fake mustache to meet with the diabetes nurse!!"
Quote from: Pēleus on October 19, 2010, 07:22:44 AM
"Because is not a justafiable reason to let you wear a fake mustache to meet with the diabetes nurse!!"
:lulz: :lulz:
"So I still can't find my fake tit. You must have taken it on accident."
"I wish I could fart the toxin from the happening"
"Damn...I wanted to be a psychology experiment..."
"Never mind, let's take a look at what you would have won"
How do you get all of that in there?
I've always utterly refuted doing any such thing. Make no mistake, any implication that I did act in this way will be met with litigation. That's all. Speak to my Lawyer.
Yardsale then fire
"call now"
immediately followed by
"I didn't leave that there"
immediately followed by a picture of a fish... :?
Quote from: Khara on April 06, 2011, 03:46:43 PM
"call now"
immediately followed by
"I didn't leave that there"
immediately followed by a picture of a fish... :?
Cramulus?
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2011, 05:19:30 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 06, 2011, 03:46:43 PM
"call now"
immediately followed by
"I didn't leave that there"
immediately followed by a picture of a fish... :?
Cramulus?
Kid's dad... I still have no clue, he said he got a new bluetooth and it randomly sent his last 5 texts to everyone in his address book.....
Right.
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on April 05, 2011, 10:06:08 PM
"So I still can't find my fake tit. You must have taken it on accident."
"BEST DAY EVAR!! I FOUND MY TIT!!!!!! IT WAS IN MY BEACH BAG THE WHOLE TIME!!!"
"Actually I'm paying to do it. Oranges don't grow on trees, you know."
Quote from: Sigmatic on April 07, 2011, 07:25:14 PM
"Actually I'm paying to do it. Oranges don't grow on trees, you know."
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Jenkem and Bubble Baths on April 07, 2011, 11:38:57 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on April 07, 2011, 07:25:14 PM
"Actually I'm paying to do it. Oranges don't grow on trees, you know."
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
At which point he called me to yell at me in rage and confusion for a good five minutes.
(http://i748.photobucket.com/albums/xx128/ChuckFukmuk/1914.jpg)
'I LOVE PANTIES. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!'
"So. Uh... tell your husband to text me cuz i am a tar's and just seaned over his sean"
"I don't want a popsicle 'cause I got ice cream. The McFlurry machine was broken so I was like "Fuck this, let's go coning". -EFO
...and then he ralphed on my beaker.
From my service provider:
You can rely on our new network when
"It's just not Christmas without tentacle porn."
:?
Quote from: Nigel on July 30, 2011, 06:34:07 PM
"I don't want a popsicle 'cause I got ice cream. The McFlurry machine was broken so I was like "Fuck this, let's go coning". -EFO
IT'S CONE TIME
nonstop hockeyballs.
"Im straight
back and to
the left
this time."