Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 03, 2010, 02:01:32 PM

Title: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 03, 2010, 02:01:32 PM

I mean, seriously. 20 minutes of bagawwwk at 6 am just because you shoved an egg out your ass?

SHUT UP.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Chairman Risus on January 03, 2010, 03:54:28 PM
To be fair, it's a better reaction than I would have had under the same conditions.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Dysnomia on January 03, 2010, 07:45:38 PM
ear plugs?
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: BabylonHoruv on January 03, 2010, 07:50:56 PM
My dad kept the chickens far enough away from the house that they couldn't wake us up, although that also meant if they were being murdered by a raccoon or a weasel we wouldn't know about it until too late.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 03, 2010, 08:45:28 PM
I should totally move them farther from the house, like maybe I should move them into those townhouses they just built behind me.

It's not normally this annoying, fortunately. They're just spazzy because it's winter.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Dysnomia on January 03, 2010, 09:35:00 PM
do you have a garage or shed where you could house them till the cease to be annoying, and it ceases to be winter?
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 03, 2010, 09:46:20 PM
Oh, they live in an insulated, heated house. They're pissy because there isn't much to eat besides pellet and corn, and they want to be decimating plant life. They're also pissy because the sun doesn't come up until almost 8, and because I won't let them out until after the dogs have gotten to go out.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 03, 2010, 09:49:18 PM
Oh, and now one of them has gone broody.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Dysnomia on January 03, 2010, 10:23:16 PM
oh lol.  Silly chickens. 
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: BabylonHoruv on January 03, 2010, 10:25:05 PM
we fed ours house garbage.  As long as there's no eggshells in it they can eat pretty much any compost.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: The Johnny on January 04, 2010, 02:35:03 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 03, 2010, 10:25:05 PM
we fed ours house garbage.  As long as there's no eggshells in it they can eat pretty much any compost.

Otherwise they feel guilty?
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: The Johnny on January 04, 2010, 02:36:40 AM

Gawd, living with chickens must be like walking on eggshells annoying.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 02:44:15 AM
Mine get compost too, but there's not that much compost.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 03:32:57 AM
EITHER

          That's what happens when you feed them old omelettes and turkey carcass. Seriously, wait till you see what their carnivorous shit does to your compost in the garden. That's right, feed me Seymour. Little garden of child eating horrors.

OR

          It's the wail of forthcoming lament, because they know you'll arrive later to gingerly, affectionately, steal their unborn children. Yet tomorrow, again they will give, and give again. They're like little chicken Atlas'es, putting eggs on your plate faithfully, despite the horror. And being Portland Atlas'es, maybe the Greeks weren't so wrong, because in their little henhouse of Lesbos, unknowable FTM tranz chicken operations are being performed, and to every Greek who wanders by they look like little tough guy roosters, with wallet chains and cigarette packs under their rolled up sleeves, with sideburns and sleeves of tattoos. And yet that "Ba, Ba, Baw, Baw,Bawkaaaw" so early in the morning, so painful on the ears and heavy in their little chicken Atlas woe and Whoa!, will later in the day carry your heart to a sweet place when all else is a world full of shit. 
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on January 04, 2010, 03:39:57 AM
what is with your either/or in every post. its annoying. stop.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 03:44:47 AM
EITHER

          Wow, sure, I'll do whatever you say.

OR

          EITHER/OR x(times) a kazillion
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 03:55:59 AM
They are so happy when they have eaten meat. You can tell they want it; it's evident in the way they eye the squirrels.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 04:23:29 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 03:55:59 AM
They are so happy when they have eaten meat. You can tell they want it; it's evident in the way they eye the squirrels.

EITHER

          Have you seen that hitchdick movie, 'the birds'?

OR

          What's good for the goose...
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 04:54:23 AM
I don't know what kind of retard hippie bullshit you have been reading, but chickens can totally eat meat. What do you think bugs are? Chickens are naturally omnivorous. And while you can't put meat scraps in your compost, there is no conceivable reason that I have ever read, not to give them to the ladies and then put their crapped-up bedding in the compost.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 04:57:34 AM
Plus, making sure they get enough protein helps prevent noxious behaviors like feather-picking and egg-eating.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 04, 2010, 06:13:45 AM
Notice his name: E.O.T.

It shouldn't be a surprise if he kills threads, or shits on them
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 07:13:36 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 04:57:34 AM
Plus, making sure they get enough protein helps prevent noxious behaviors like feather-picking and egg-eating.

EITHER

          Call the farm-store, girlfriend. Whether crapped out your fine booty or that of an auumericauuna, one does not waant meat shit in thine garden. It creates carniverous plants for goodness sake!!

OR

          Yes, well, I only read 'hemp woven thong monthly' for ALL of my info. My chickens are all stoned and shit beatles 45's.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: the last yatto on January 04, 2010, 09:21:06 AM
i feed my Nymphicus hollandicus some Gallus gallus domesticus eggs for breakfast
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 06:12:04 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 07:13:36 AM
         Yes, well, I only read 'hemp woven thong monthly' for ALL of my info. My chickens are all stoned and shit beatles 45's.

I hope you're eBaying those.

You don't want the crap of carnivores in your garden, but giving omnivores treats of meat does not magically give them carnivore poop, or you couldn't use the crap of any free-ranging chicken. They eat anything that moves; including mice if they can catch them. And THAT thought actually is kind of gross.

Practical Poultry-Farming by L.M. Hurd says:

"The steady use of some form of animal protein such as milk products, meat scraps, tankage or fish meal cannot be too strongly emphasized."

Read the ingredients on your organic Cascade layer mash. It's not vegetarian.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 08:40:01 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 06:12:04 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 07:13:36 AM
          Yes, well, I only read 'hemp woven thong monthly' for ALL of my info. My chickens are all stoned and shit beatles 45's.

I hope you're eBaying those.

You don't want the crap of carnivores in your garden, but giving omnivores treats of meat does not magically give them carnivore poop, or you couldn't use the crap of any free-ranging chicken. They eat anything that moves; including mice if they can catch them. And THAT thought actually is kind of gross.

Practical Poultry-Farming by L.M. Hurd says:

"The steady use of some form of animal protein such as milk products, meat scraps, tankage or fish meal cannot be too strongly emphasized."

Read the ingredients on your organic Cascade layer mash. It's not vegetarian.

EITHER

          Thou hast shown'th me the way of moderation in chicken feed

OR

          They're strictly feeding on tankage now. Dried animal residues, mmm. Scraped from a tank, nonetheless.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: hooplala on January 04, 2010, 08:42:02 PM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on January 04, 2010, 03:39:57 AM
what is with your either/or in every post. its annoying. stop.

Agreed.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 08:46:15 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 04, 2010, 08:42:02 PM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on January 04, 2010, 03:39:57 AM
what is with your either/or in every post. its annoying. stop.

Agreed.

Although I find it easy to ignore, it does bother people enough that I was thinking about implementing it over at Satanspace.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: LMNO on January 04, 2010, 08:47:44 PM
I'll agree it's a good way to annoy a lot of people very quickly without "violating" any posting rules someone might have.

So, E.O.T.: You've made your point.  Now, cut it out.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: hooplala on January 04, 2010, 08:48:03 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 08:46:15 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 04, 2010, 08:42:02 PM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on January 04, 2010, 03:39:57 AM
what is with your either/or in every post. its annoying. stop.

Agreed.

Although I find it easy to ignore, it does bother people enough that I was thinking about implementing it over at Satanspace.

Love.  It.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 08:48:47 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 08:40:01 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 06:12:04 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 07:13:36 AM
          Yes, well, I only read 'hemp woven thong monthly' for ALL of my info. My chickens are all stoned and shit beatles 45's.

I hope you're eBaying those.

You don't want the crap of carnivores in your garden, but giving omnivores treats of meat does not magically give them carnivore poop, or you couldn't use the crap of any free-ranging chicken. They eat anything that moves; including mice if they can catch them. And THAT thought actually is kind of gross.

Practical Poultry-Farming by L.M. Hurd says:

"The steady use of some form of animal protein such as milk products, meat scraps, tankage or fish meal cannot be too strongly emphasized."

Read the ingredients on your organic Cascade layer mash. It's not vegetarian.

EITHER

          Thou hast shown'th me the way of moderation in chicken feed

OR

          They're strictly feeding on tankage now. Dried animal residues, mmm. Scraped from a tank, nonetheless.

?
(http://static.open.salon.com/files/spvne1247346821.jpg)
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 04, 2010, 08:53:14 PM
E.O.T., if you'd really like to be disturbed by tankage, read this: jds.fass.org/cgi/reprint/19/5/313.pdf

The idea of natural scavengers like chickens being fed tankage is far, far less objectionable.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: The Johnny on January 04, 2010, 10:40:21 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 08:48:47 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 08:40:01 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 06:12:04 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 04, 2010, 07:13:36 AM
          Yes, well, I only read 'hemp woven thong monthly' for ALL of my info. My chickens are all stoned and shit beatles 45's.

I hope you're eBaying those.

You don't want the crap of carnivores in your garden, but giving omnivores treats of meat does not magically give them carnivore poop, or you couldn't use the crap of any free-ranging chicken. They eat anything that moves; including mice if they can catch them. And THAT thought actually is kind of gross.

Practical Poultry-Farming by L.M. Hurd says:

"The steady use of some form of animal protein such as milk products, meat scraps, tankage or fish meal cannot be too strongly emphasized."

Read the ingredients on your organic Cascade layer mash. It's not vegetarian.

EITHER

          Thou hast shown'th me the way of moderation in chicken feed

OR

          They're strictly feeding on tankage now. Dried animal residues, mmm. Scraped from a tank, nonetheless.

?
(http://static.open.salon.com/files/spvne1247346821.jpg)


Has potential for a dog farm !!  :lol:
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: E.O.T. on January 05, 2010, 09:17:18 AM
EITHER

          I'm feeding the writings of Peter Sotos to the hens right now (eat it, dammit!!)

OR

          Is that brains?
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Triple Zero on January 05, 2010, 12:07:20 PM
it's not like you could tell, I suppose



waitaminute does EOT stand for Either/Or Troll perhaps
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 05, 2010, 04:38:30 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 05, 2010, 09:17:18 AM

          Is that brains?

Yep. In a bathtub.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 05:12:05 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 05, 2010, 04:38:30 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 05, 2010, 09:17:18 AM

          Is that brains?

Yep. In a bathtub.
That just gave me a great idea for a WOMP.  Will be up tonight or tomorrow.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Remington on January 05, 2010, 05:18:11 PM
*hides pictures of his family*
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 05, 2010, 05:21:22 PM
Cover the windows of the chicken house until you want them to wake up.  As long as it is dark to them they will keep quiet.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 05, 2010, 05:29:54 PM
Quote from: Sir Remington III on January 05, 2010, 05:18:11 PM
*hides pictures of his family*

Glad to see you've been properly traumatized.   :lulz:

But at least you're halfway to full PD membership.

You know what the other part is, right?  Oh, yeah.  Revenge.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: BabylonHoruv on January 05, 2010, 08:52:56 PM
Quote from: JohNyx on January 04, 2010, 02:35:03 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 03, 2010, 10:25:05 PM
we fed ours house garbage.  As long as there's no eggshells in it they can eat pretty much any compost.

Otherwise they feel guilty?

feed them eggshells and they start eating eggs.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: BabylonHoruv on January 05, 2010, 08:53:38 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 04, 2010, 02:44:15 AM
Mine get compost too, but there's not that much compost.

Yeah, we got extra because the local grocery store would give us expired produce.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Cramulus on January 06, 2010, 12:40:50 AM
Quote from: Sir Remington III on January 05, 2010, 05:18:11 PM
*hides pictures of his family*

you can't hide what's already on my hard drive, biaaaatch!


(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/forum/ohsnap-1.gif)
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 01:25:28 AM
Quote from: Khara on January 05, 2010, 05:21:22 PM
Cover the windows of the chicken house until you want them to wake up.  As long as it is dark to them they will keep quiet.

That totally doesn't work for making them sleep, but it does make them lay fewer eggs.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 01:26:01 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 05, 2010, 08:52:56 PM
Quote from: JohNyx on January 04, 2010, 02:35:03 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 03, 2010, 10:25:05 PM
we fed ours house garbage.  As long as there's no eggshells in it they can eat pretty much any compost.

Otherwise they feel guilty?

feed them eggshells and they start eating eggs.

It's actually fine if you dry out and crush the shells first.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: BabylonHoruv on January 06, 2010, 02:00:58 AM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 06, 2010, 01:26:01 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 05, 2010, 08:52:56 PM
Quote from: JohNyx on January 04, 2010, 02:35:03 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on January 03, 2010, 10:25:05 PM
we fed ours house garbage.  As long as there's no eggshells in it they can eat pretty much any compost.

Otherwise they feel guilty?

feed them eggshells and they start eating eggs.

It's actually fine if you dry out and crush the shells first.

Yup, we did that.  It's just more work than I usually like to suggest to someone to do.

It's good for them though cause it gives them calcium to use for making more eggshells.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: E.O.T. on January 06, 2010, 04:33:04 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 05, 2010, 12:07:20 PM
it's not like you could tell, I suppose



waitaminute does EOT stand for Either/Or Troll perhaps

EITHER

          Your guess is as good as mine

OR

          It takes a troll to no a troll
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: . on January 06, 2010, 04:48:02 AM
Quote from: E.O.T. on January 06, 2010, 04:33:04 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on January 05, 2010, 12:07:20 PM
it's not like you could tell, I suppose



waitaminute does EOT stand for Either/Or Troll perhaps

EITHER

          Your guess is as good as mine

OR

          It takes a troll to no a troll

Why don't you learn to spell, eh? And, please, take that half-assed troll shit elsewhere.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 05:14:23 AM
EITHER

People can continue to be irritated and derail my thread because they don't like the way some noob phrases its posts,

OR

We can ignore the annoying format and eventually it will get bored and stop.

OH WAIT

OR

We'll get used to it, respond to the content instead of the layout, and not give a shit.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: . on January 06, 2010, 05:18:05 AM
Eh, whatever works i suppose.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 05:19:29 AM
OR

Flame the shit out of it when it hits 50 posts.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 05:20:13 AM
OH OH OH

OR

We could all start posting like this and see if that infuriates it.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 05:20:57 AM
I did those last two wrong because I wasn't planning ahead. :(
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: . on January 06, 2010, 07:08:40 AM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: The Johnny on January 06, 2010, 02:26:17 PM
EITHER

           29...

OR

          WHY WAIT?
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 06, 2010, 03:34:54 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 06, 2010, 01:25:28 AM
Quote from: Khara on January 05, 2010, 05:21:22 PM
Cover the windows of the chicken house until you want them to wake up.  As long as it is dark to them they will keep quiet.

That totally doesn't work for making them sleep, but it does make them lay fewer eggs.

I meant be up and making noise by wake up.  Do you have a rooster?
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 06, 2010, 05:44:51 PM
Quote from: Khara on January 06, 2010, 03:34:54 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 06, 2010, 01:25:28 AM
Quote from: Khara on January 05, 2010, 05:21:22 PM
Cover the windows of the chicken house until you want them to wake up.  As long as it is dark to them they will keep quiet.

That totally doesn't work for making them sleep, but it does make them lay fewer eggs.

I meant be up and making noise by wake up.  Do you have a rooster?

No rooster. just hens. They wake up and start their cackling about 2 hours before dawn in the winter.
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 06, 2010, 06:11:41 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 06, 2010, 05:44:51 PM
Quote from: Khara on January 06, 2010, 03:34:54 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on January 06, 2010, 01:25:28 AM
Quote from: Khara on January 05, 2010, 05:21:22 PM
Cover the windows of the chicken house until you want them to wake up.  As long as it is dark to them they will keep quiet.

That totally doesn't work for making them sleep, but it does make them lay fewer eggs.

I meant be up and making noise by wake up.  Do you have a rooster?

No rooster. just hens. They wake up and start their cackling about 2 hours before dawn in the winter.

Grab some needlenose pliers and haul out their vocal cords. 

Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 09, 2010, 11:53:15 PM
My stupidest hen got out and is now having a conniption fit because she can't figure out how to get back over a 2-1/2 foot fence.

I'm going to wait a while and see if she works it out.   
Title: Re: SHUT UP, CHICKENS
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 10, 2010, 12:13:40 AM
OH FUCK YES SHE DID IT

WAY TO GO LILY!

Now I don't have to go running around Old Lady Mabel's garden.