Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 01:38:41 AM

Title: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 01:38:41 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM&feature=player_embedded

Oh, yeah.  There will be rejoicing among the WalMart "Mobility Scooter" crowd.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Freeky on May 11, 2010, 01:44:41 AM
"Toilet paper is archaic!"

"...SINCE THE 1880'S!!!!!"

Ride that pony, 'Murrica! All the way to the wall!!
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 01:46:51 AM
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
\
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3606/3321829085_d7c38f2efd.jpg)
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Freeky on May 11, 2010, 01:53:33 AM
 :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom:

WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT WARNING A PERSON, DOK? THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!!
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 01:55:01 AM
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 01:53:33 AM
:vom: :vom: :vom: :vom:

WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT WARNING A PERSON, DOK? THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!!

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/03/14/article-1257850-08B61DB7000005DC-25_634x498.jpg)

This actually makes me kinda sad.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: AFK on May 11, 2010, 02:04:15 AM
It's a good thing the poor kid knows how to get things for herself.  I think it is a trend of what is to come. 
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Freeky on May 11, 2010, 02:07:19 AM
Yeah.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 11, 2010, 02:49:37 AM
http://www.cracked.com/blog/call-center-transcript-of-me-returning-a-comfort-wipe/
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Freeky on May 11, 2010, 03:19:00 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 11, 2010, 02:49:37 AM
http://www.cracked.com/blog/call-center-transcript-of-me-returning-a-comfort-wipe/

I was actually shrieking in laughter. :lulz:
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 11, 2010, 03:21:44 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 01:55:01 AM
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 01:53:33 AM
:vom: :vom: :vom: :vom:

WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT WARNING A PERSON, DOK? THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!!

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/03/14/article-1257850-08B61DB7000005DC-25_634x498.jpg)

This actually makes me kinda sad.

Me too.  That little girl has too much potential to be eaten.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Suu on May 11, 2010, 04:05:43 AM
Comfort Wipe website is down. Lol.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Elder Iptuous on May 11, 2010, 04:22:41 AM
Quote from: Suu on May 11, 2010, 04:05:43 AM
Comfort Wipe website is down. Lol.

it crapped out?
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Nast on May 11, 2010, 04:49:23 AM
WOW that's a lot of pretzels.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 11, 2010, 07:47:14 AM
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 03:19:00 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 11, 2010, 02:49:37 AM
http://www.cracked.com/blog/call-center-transcript-of-me-returning-a-comfort-wipe/

I was actually shrieking in laughter. :lulz:

I KNOW! That was a good one.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on May 11, 2010, 08:59:44 AM
I want to laugh and DIE at he same time!!  :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Remington on May 11, 2010, 09:41:27 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 11, 2010, 02:49:37 AM
http://www.cracked.com/blog/call-center-transcript-of-me-returning-a-comfort-wipe/
That is the absolute first thing I thought of when I saw the OP. Damn you for beating me to it.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 11, 2010, 12:13:09 PM
QuoteCSR
I'm sorry, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?

CALLER
Yes there is. You work in a little call center there, right? How many people would you say work there with you on the Comfort Wipe product?

CSR
There's four of us sir, but we handle all sorts of different products...

CALLER
-click-

This guy is a master! A MASTER I TELL YOU!
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: BadBeast on May 12, 2010, 07:41:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2010, 01:55:01 AM
Quote from: Professor Freeky on May 11, 2010, 01:53:33 AM
:vom: :vom: :vom: :vom:

WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT WARNING A PERSON, DOK? THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!!

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/03/14/article-1257850-08B61DB7000005DC-25_634x498.jpg)

This actually makes me kinda sad.

Makes me kinda HUNGRY!!
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Requia ☣ on May 12, 2010, 07:46:02 PM
Every time I look at that picture I see more pretzels. :eek:
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Adios on May 12, 2010, 07:57:49 PM
Quote from: Requia ☣ on May 12, 2010, 07:46:02 PM
Every time I look at that picture I see more pretzels. :eek:

I see a self cleaning Gene pool.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Jenne on May 12, 2010, 08:13:32 PM
Ogod.  I missed this fread.  Wow.  Just.  No. Yeah.  WOW.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Jasper on May 12, 2010, 08:16:47 PM
YOU GUYS

THERE'S THIS NEW THING

IT'S CALLED A BIDET
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: LMNO on May 12, 2010, 08:17:44 PM
SHADDAP, COMMIE BASTARD.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Elder Iptuous on May 12, 2010, 08:21:19 PM
srsly.
they have aftermarket toilet integrating bidets...
if i was going for the fatassed thing, i would think that would be the proper investment.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: the last yatto on May 12, 2010, 09:07:21 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_rRxVZrMEk
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 13, 2010, 01:10:14 AM
If I had room in my bathroom I'd get a bidet. Ohmygod, have you ever used one? Soothing warm-water-on-yer-pucker pleasure!
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Elder Iptuous on May 13, 2010, 02:13:50 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 13, 2010, 01:10:14 AM
If I had room in my bathroom I'd get a bidet. Ohmygod, have you ever used one? Soothing warm-water-on-yer-pucker pleasure!

they make some pretty fancy toilet integrated units from Japan.
I've considered getting one for my throne....
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 13, 2010, 02:34:54 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 13, 2010, 01:10:14 AM
If I had room in my bathroom I'd get a bidet. Ohmygod, have you ever used one? Soothing warm-water-on-yer-pucker pleasure!

Insufficiently manly.  I shall continue to wipe my ass with emory cloth.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Elder Iptuous on May 13, 2010, 03:16:57 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 13, 2010, 02:34:54 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 13, 2010, 01:10:14 AM
If I had room in my bathroom I'd get a bidet. Ohmygod, have you ever used one? Soothing warm-water-on-yer-pucker pleasure!

Insufficiently manly.  I shall continue to wipe my ass with emory cloth.

you could but bead blast media in the bidet....
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Jenne on May 13, 2010, 04:29:50 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM

I had to find this, because my husband thought it was a prank.  I like how in the commercial they make it sound like you can wrench your shoulder wiping your ass...
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Jenne on May 13, 2010, 04:30:36 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 13, 2010, 01:10:14 AM
If I had room in my bathroom I'd get a bidet. Ohmygod, have you ever used one? Soothing warm-water-on-yer-pucker pleasure!

Yes!  So WANT!
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Requia ☣ on May 13, 2010, 04:44:10 AM
I just looked at the picture again.

I found even more pretzels.  It's like even her image needs more food.
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 13, 2010, 06:05:33 AM
Quote from: Iptuous on May 13, 2010, 03:16:57 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 13, 2010, 02:34:54 AM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on May 13, 2010, 01:10:14 AM
If I had room in my bathroom I'd get a bidet. Ohmygod, have you ever used one? Soothing warm-water-on-yer-pucker pleasure!

Insufficiently manly.  I shall continue to wipe my ass with emory cloth.

you could but bead blast media in the bidet....

:horrormirth:
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on May 13, 2010, 07:40:03 AM
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Relevant ^
Title: Re: This fucking country is doomed. DOOMED!
Post by: ThatGreenGentleman on May 14, 2010, 04:15:21 AM
QuoteCALLER
My Comfort Wipe broke off inside my ass.

CSR
I can't help you sir. You need to see a doctor.

CALLER
What I need Sharon, is a refund.

Damn right he needs a refund!!!!