It's that time of year again, and you know what that means!
The Running of the Tools (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOVD-m8urJU&feature=related)
And if that doesn't satisfy your holiday appetites, let's review the holiday memories of yester-year.
Happy holidays! (http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=7E1C99233117E780)
Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:52:20 PM
Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.
Don't be such a Scrooge.
Quote from: Cuddlefist on November 30, 2010, 07:54:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:52:20 PM
Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.
Don't be such a Scrooge.
Bah, Humbug!
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:55:35 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefist on November 30, 2010, 07:54:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:52:20 PM
Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.
Don't be such a Scrooge.
Bah, Humbug!
Hey! Quote function is back!
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:56:11 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:55:35 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefist on November 30, 2010, 07:54:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:52:20 PM
Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.
Don't be such a Scrooge.
Bah, Humbug!
Hey! Quote function is back!
Didn't realize it had left.
You know what that means? A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!
SEE, JESUS LOVES THE STAMPEDES!
Quote from: Cuddlefist on November 30, 2010, 07:57:35 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:56:11 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:55:35 PM
Quote from: Cuddlefist on November 30, 2010, 07:54:39 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 07:52:20 PM
Nothing expresses the Christmas spirit more than showing your goodwill towards your fellow human being like trampling them in a stampede.
Don't be such a Scrooge.
Bah, Humbug!
Hey! Quote function is back!
Didn't realize it had left.
You know what that means? A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!!
SEE, JESUS LOVES THE STAMPEDES!
It was a necessary sacrifice. Our God is a cruel and bloodthirsty god, but with proper brutal human sacrifice, he rewards our faith on his birthday with the acquistion of material goods via his Santa-bot, as opposed to useless things like eternal life and forgiveness of sins.
Trample the shoppers!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
LET THE LINOLEUM OF THE DISCOUNT WAREHOUSES RUN RED AND GROW SLICK WITH THE GORE! LET THE UNWORTHY, THE DISSOLUTE, AND THE LOW OF CREDIT RATING BE STRANGLED AND STOMPED BEFORE ME! I WILL TAKE THE MATERIAL GOODS FOR THOSE I CARE FOR, AND THE REST SHALL BE GROUND TO PULP UNDER MY FEET!
That's some vomit-inducing humanity right there.
People can be rather disgusting at times.
I for one am not looking forward to xmas shopping at all.
Plus side I always had to Black Friday shoppers:
1: I'm not fat. I'm curvy, but I'm not obese. I can out run most of those fat bitches to the shit I want. One year I felt like my sister and I were floating over those people. We strolled right in why some fat white girls who were speaking total jive got into a fist fight outside like nothing was going on, and just laughed our way through the store. And if anyone ever pushed me over, they'd be missing teeth by the time I got to them.
2: I never actually buy anything anyways, I just get a bunch of shit in a cart, walk down an aisle and leave it there. Hide around the corner, and then wait for the potential feeding frenzy and fist fights. It's an anthropological study, I swear!
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Sounds preferable to me. I actually really dislike Christmas because of the way America treats it. It looks kinda like this for 2010:
October 31- Halloween
November 15- Stores start playing Christmas music. Some people, in their competition to outdo the neighbors, have already converted their homes and yards into the North Pole/Bethlehem
November 25- Thanksgiving. Black Friday people await midnight opening of stores
November 26- See dimo's youtube links
November 28- Advent actually begins, despite the fact that people have been preparing for a good portion of the month prior
December 5- Projected beginning of murderous urges induced by incessant and irritating Christmas music
December 23- I go, Oh shit, I still haven't bought anything for anyone.
December 24- Christmas shopping/Wrapping gifts in newspaper
December 26- I say thank god its fucking over
It is. I'd probably climb a tower with a sniper rifle if I had to put up with what you guys do. I hate going into the store when its even slightly busy...so, yeah.
And our Calender basically goes Halloween (pretty low key), late November onwards the stores get the Xmas displays up, house decorations usually go up in the first weekend of December, there is the usual working up towards Xmas Day, then the Boxing Day to first week of New Year sales.
However, I wont ever turn on a radio this time of year. Oh god no.
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:57:19 PM
It is. I'd probably climb a tower with a sniper rifle if I had to put up with what you guys do. I hate going into the store when its even slightly busy...so, yeah.
And our Calender basically goes Halloween (pretty low key), late November onwards the stores get the Xmas displays up, house decorations usually go up in the first weekend of December, there is the usual working up towards Xmas Day, then the Boxing Day to first week of New Year sales.
However, I wont ever turn on a radio this time of year. Oh god no.
I don't know how people are able to subject themselves to endless hymns and carols. It's masochism, pure masochism. No, scratch that. It's a controlled experiment in mass insanity. There's subliminal trigger words in those songs.
Quote from: Suu on November 30, 2010, 09:58:24 PM
2: I never actually buy anything anyways, I just get a bunch of shit in a cart, walk down an aisle and leave it there. Hide around the corner, and then wait for the potential feeding frenzy and fist fights. It's an anthropological study, I swear!
This is awesome.
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Seriuosly, man, I've been thinking about quitting school to focus entirely on getting the fuck out of this country. This place, as it is, gives me an almost physically nauseous feeling just knowing that these types of behaviours are actually
encouraged, and are now being ingrained into our culture. I figure I should start at lest thinking about leaving now, before the meer fact that I want to leave makes me a criminal.
I think anyone using the term "Door Buster," in terms of sales events, or otherwise, should be arrested for attempting to encite riots.
(edited twice, for general stupidity)
Quote from: Cuddlefist on December 01, 2010, 12:24:16 AM
I think anyone using the term "Door Buster," in terms of sales events, or otherwise, should be arrested for attempting to induce riots.
You're not wrong.
The radio station my wife likes to keep it tuned to this time of year doesn't even have any live DJ's. Just the same 40 Christmas songs played over and over in a loop.
The same 40 songs they played last year over and over in a loop.
PMZ,
Rocking around the Christmas tree. Have a happy holiday!
There was a Black Friday news report on Thanksgiving night, talking to a few people waiting in lines at different stores. One guy said it was his tradition; everyone else had their turkey and their mashed potatoes, he had his camping out for Black Friday. He said sometimes he doesn't even buy a good deal, maybe just a CD or something.
Something needs to be put in place to compensate for natural selection being broken and allowing people like this to go on existing.
You know, they didn't start calling it Black Friday until a few years ago, it was sort of a retail thing, we all kept it to ourselves and snickered about it at work and had nightmares about it coming upon us...then some marketing fucker overheard someone say it and now it's everywhere. I hate it.
I remember my dad getting up for the After-Thanksgiving sales as a kid, but it wasn't as bad as it is now. Plus my dad is physically handicapped, he can't deal with these crazy people now...most of them are just white trash looking to get a shitty flatscreen TV on sale when the store may only have 3 of them anyway.
The year Herbert and I decided we were going to be serious about TV shopping, we went to Best Buy at 4am, but the offering was such a piece of shit, we decided to wait..........and then filled up our carriage with stuff, and left it in an aisle to see what happened, and walked out empty handed. We got coffee, went home, and went back to bed.
My sister and I have pissing people off to a fine science, especially the year we decided to dress nice at 4am, with makeup and the Coach bags, and sashay'd our asses into Wallyworld. "Dahhhhling!"
Quote from: Richter on November 30, 2010, 08:00:52 PM
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
LET THE LINOLEUM OF THE DISCOUNT WAREHOUSES RUN RED AND GROW SLICK WITH THE GORE! LET THE UNWORTHY, THE DISSOLUTE, AND THE LOW OF CREDIT RATING BE STRANGLED AND STOMPED BEFORE ME! I WILL TAKE THE MATERIAL GOODS FOR THOSE I CARE FOR, AND THE REST SHALL BE GROUND TO PULP UNDER MY FEET!
This is beautiful and should be printed on the inside of xmas cards.
I want to have this printed on the inside of my xmas cards!
I'm going to be jolly this year. Obnoxiously so.
Totally agree. I have a list of people I want to do nice things for / to, and outside of them, the humanity can fuck off. Anyone who expects some decor and a pop music carol on the radio to incite my wallet can bleed out through the urethra as I step over their twitching form to leave.
I almost felt the Christmas spirit this year for the first time in a while (usually it come about half way through a bottle of tequila on Christmas Eve), then I saw everyone getting their trees ready, and realized I can't have a tree in this shitass little apartment, and cried like a little bitch.
Christmas can fuck itself again. I haven't liked in since 2001 when my parents abandoned me in Florida for Rhode Island.
"Merry Christmas, here's $500, we'll call you from your aunt's house on LI!"
Quote from: Suu on December 01, 2010, 04:33:46 AM
I almost felt the Christmas spirit this year for the first time in a while (usually it come about half way through a bottle of tequila on Christmas Eve), then I saw everyone getting their trees ready, and realized I can't have a tree in this shitass little apartment, and cried like a little bitch.
Christmas can fuck itself again. I haven't liked in since 2001 when my parents abandoned me in Florida for Rhode Island.
"Merry Christmas, here's $500, we'll call you from your aunt's house on LI!"
Oh c'mon now. I mean that's not very cool but it isn't the worst thing in the world and hell, you still get to visit them and stuff.
They make wee trees. Hell I just saw some in Target today that are about 6" high with il bitty lights powered by USB.
Damn they were cute.
No reason you can't just enjoy what it's all about. Remember Charlie Brown? Yeah... that's the stuff.
FUCK XMAS, HANUKKAH STARTS TONIGHT!!!!!
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 03:47:11 AM
Quote from: Richter on November 30, 2010, 08:00:52 PM
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
LET THE LINOLEUM OF THE DISCOUNT WAREHOUSES RUN RED AND GROW SLICK WITH THE GORE! LET THE UNWORTHY, THE DISSOLUTE, AND THE LOW OF CREDIT RATING BE STRANGLED AND STOMPED BEFORE ME! I WILL TAKE THE MATERIAL GOODS FOR THOSE I CARE FOR, AND THE REST SHALL BE GROUND TO PULP UNDER MY FEET!
This is beautiful and should be printed on the inside of xmas cards.
I want to have this printed on the inside of my xmas cards!
I'm going to be jolly this year. Obnoxiously so.
In fact, can I have your permission to use that?
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 10:52:00 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Sounds preferable to me. I actually really dislike Christmas because of the way America treats it. It looks kinda like this for 2010:
October 31- Halloween
November 15- Stores start playing Christmas music. Some people, in their competition to outdo the neighbors, have already converted their homes and yards into the North Pole/Bethlehem
November 25- Thanksgiving. Black Friday people await midnight opening of stores
November 26- See dimo's youtube links
November 28- Advent actually begins, despite the fact that people have been preparing for a good portion of the month prior
December 5- Projected beginning of murderous urges induced by incessant and irritating Christmas music
December 23- I go, Oh shit, I still haven't bought anything for anyone.
December 24- Christmas shopping/Wrapping gifts in newspaper
December 26- I say thank god its fucking over
- Except it WON'T be over, because people will leave their decorations out, and anyone who complains is in the WAR ON CHRISTMAS.
I fix.
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Ooh that gives me an idea, I wonder if it's possible to coax the British queueing behaviour into some kind of ant death spiral (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prjhQcqiGQc) type of thing?
We gotta try this, next Day of Discord.
For starters, since we're a group of at least five or so, I bet we can get people to form lines just about
anywhere by just standing in a line and waiting until people join at the end. Ok, there has to be some reason for them to get in the line in the first place, but I'm sure it could be something really simple, the value of the simple thing being of course greatly amplified by the fact that people are queueing up for it! :)
And then, I don't know, with the correct signs and promises of FREE CAKE, to form a line around a (small) building into a loop perhaps?
I bet the line would even appear to move, since people tend to push forward.
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 06:11:08 AM
Oh c'mon now. I mean that's not very cool but it isn't the worst thing in the world and hell, you still get to visit them and stuff.
They make wee trees. Hell I just saw some in Target today that are about 6" high with il bitty lights powered by USB.
Damn they were cute.
No reason you can't just enjoy what it's all about. Remember Charlie Brown? Yeah... that's the stuff.
Depression? I've always found that one of the most popular holiday specials is basically centered around some bald kid who seems to suffer from Depression. Oh yeah, there's the God stuff too I suppose. A very good troll I thinks.
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 01, 2010, 08:18:51 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 10:52:00 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Sounds preferable to me. I actually really dislike Christmas because of the way America treats it. It looks kinda like this for 2010:
October 31- Halloween
November 15- Stores start playing Christmas music. Some people, in their competition to outdo the neighbors, have already converted their homes and yards into the North Pole/Bethlehem
November 25- Thanksgiving. Black Friday people await midnight opening of stores
November 26- See dimo's youtube links
November 28- Advent actually begins, despite the fact that people have been preparing for a good portion of the month prior
December 5- Projected beginning of murderous urges induced by incessant and irritating Christmas music
December 23- I go, Oh shit, I still haven't bought anything for anyone.
December 24- Christmas shopping/Wrapping gifts in newspaper
December 26- I say thank god its fucking over
- Except it WON'T be over, because people will leave their decorations out, and anyone who complains is in the WAR ON CHRISTMAS.
I fix.
But at least the music will stop. Oh god the music....
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 01, 2010, 08:18:51 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 10:52:00 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Sounds preferable to me. I actually really dislike Christmas because of the way America treats it. It looks kinda like this for 2010:
October 31- Halloween
November 15- Stores start playing Christmas music. Some people, in their competition to outdo the neighbors, have already converted their homes and yards into the North Pole/Bethlehem
November 25- Thanksgiving. Black Friday people await midnight opening of stores
November 26- See dimo's youtube links
November 28- Advent actually begins, despite the fact that people have been preparing for a good portion of the month prior
December 5- Projected beginning of murderous urges induced by incessant and irritating Christmas music
December 23- I go, Oh shit, I still haven't bought anything for anyone.
December 24- Christmas shopping/Wrapping gifts in newspaper
December 26- I say thank god its fucking over
- Except it WON'T be over, because people will leave their decorations out, and anyone who complains is in the WAR ON CHRISTMAS.
I fix.
Eric Pickles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Pickles) has declared the War on Christmas is over, and Christmas has won.
No-one has the heart to tell him there isn't a war on Christmas. Well, one staffer tried, and was unfortunately eaten.
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 01, 2010, 09:42:23 AM
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Ooh that gives me an idea, I wonder if it's possible to coax the British queueing behaviour into some kind of ant death spiral (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prjhQcqiGQc) type of thing?
We gotta try this, next Day of Discord.
For starters, since we're a group of at least five or so, I bet we can get people to form lines just about anywhere by just standing in a line and waiting until people join at the end. Ok, there has to be some reason for them to get in the line in the first place, but I'm sure it could be something really simple, the value of the simple thing being of course greatly amplified by the fact that people are queueing up for it! :)
And then, I don't know, with the correct signs and promises of FREE CAKE, to form a line around a (small) building into a loop perhaps?
I bet the line would even appear to move, since people tend to push forward.
So long as there is some kind of makeshift counter, this is guaranteed to work.
Quote from: Cain on December 01, 2010, 12:23:09 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 01, 2010, 08:18:51 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 10:52:00 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Sounds preferable to me. I actually really dislike Christmas because of the way America treats it. It looks kinda like this for 2010:
October 31- Halloween
November 15- Stores start playing Christmas music. Some people, in their competition to outdo the neighbors, have already converted their homes and yards into the North Pole/Bethlehem
November 25- Thanksgiving. Black Friday people await midnight opening of stores
November 26- See dimo's youtube links
November 28- Advent actually begins, despite the fact that people have been preparing for a good portion of the month prior
December 5- Projected beginning of murderous urges induced by incessant and irritating Christmas music
December 23- I go, Oh shit, I still haven't bought anything for anyone.
December 24- Christmas shopping/Wrapping gifts in newspaper
December 26- I say thank god its fucking over
- Except it WON'T be over, because people will leave their decorations out, and anyone who complains is in the WAR ON CHRISTMAS.
I fix.
Eric Pickles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Pickles) has declared the War on Christmas is over, and Christmas has won.
No-one has the heart to tell him there isn't a war on Christmas. Well, one staffer tried, and was unfortunately eaten.
I really don't like that manatee's name.
:lulz:
That's probably one of the kinder things I've heard him called. Pickles does not want to be a fat jolly man, he prefers to be a fat, evil man.
How dare you insult a manatee like that!!
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 07:08:17 AM
In fact, can I have your permission to use that?
Sure! Just include props to "Richter", and send me one please!
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 01, 2010, 11:26:38 AM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 06:11:08 AM
Oh c'mon now. I mean that's not very cool but it isn't the worst thing in the world and hell, you still get to visit them and stuff.
They make wee trees. Hell I just saw some in Target today that are about 6" high with il bitty lights powered by USB.
Damn they were cute.
No reason you can't just enjoy what it's all about. Remember Charlie Brown? Yeah... that's the stuff.
Depression? I've always found that one of the most popular holiday specials is basically centered around some bald kid who seems to suffer from Depression. Oh yeah, there's the God stuff too I suppose. A very good troll I thinks.
Yeah.. I know, but. I'ma start slappin the sad outta people I swear.
Quote from: Richter on December 01, 2010, 03:20:00 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 07:08:17 AM
In fact, can I have your permission to use that?
Sure! Just include props to "Richter", and send me one please!
sweeeet
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 05:26:42 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 01, 2010, 11:26:38 AM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 06:11:08 AM
Oh c'mon now. I mean that's not very cool but it isn't the worst thing in the world and hell, you still get to visit them and stuff.
They make wee trees. Hell I just saw some in Target today that are about 6" high with il bitty lights powered by USB.
Damn they were cute.
No reason you can't just enjoy what it's all about. Remember Charlie Brown? Yeah... that's the stuff.
Depression? I've always found that one of the most popular holiday specials is basically centered around some bald kid who seems to suffer from Depression. Oh yeah, there's the God stuff too I suppose. A very good troll I thinks.
Yeah.. I know, but. I'ma start slappin the sad outta people I swear.
What about the grouchiness?
Grouchiness is ok, I'm about as grumpy as fat old men can get.
As long as you're yelling "Merry friggin XMAS!!" through your mossy old dentures, then it's ok.
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 06:42:42 PM
Grouchiness is ok, I'm about as grumpy as fat old men can get.
As long as you're yelling "Merry friggin XMAS!!" through your mossy old dentures, then it's ok.
I don't have dentures though...
Quote from: Cain on December 01, 2010, 12:23:09 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 01, 2010, 08:18:51 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 30, 2010, 10:52:00 PM
Quote from: Cain on November 30, 2010, 10:34:59 PM
I'm glad we don't have a Black Friday. The closest we get is the Boxing Day/New Years sales, and since the British naturally form lines at the drop of a hat, it is quite sedate.
Sounds preferable to me. I actually really dislike Christmas because of the way America treats it. It looks kinda like this for 2010:
October 31- Halloween
November 15- Stores start playing Christmas music. Some people, in their competition to outdo the neighbors, have already converted their homes and yards into the North Pole/Bethlehem
November 25- Thanksgiving. Black Friday people await midnight opening of stores
November 26- See dimo's youtube links
November 28- Advent actually begins, despite the fact that people have been preparing for a good portion of the month prior
December 5- Projected beginning of murderous urges induced by incessant and irritating Christmas music
December 23- I go, Oh shit, I still haven't bought anything for anyone.
December 24- Christmas shopping/Wrapping gifts in newspaper
December 26- I say thank god its fucking over
- Except it WON'T be over, because people will leave their decorations out, and anyone who complains is in the WAR ON CHRISTMAS.
I fix.
Eric Pickles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Pickles) has declared the War on Christmas is over, and Christmas has won.
No-one has the heart to tell him there isn't a war on Christmas. Well, one staffer tried, and was unfortunately eaten.
Aaahahaha! He looks like those photoshops where the person's face is shrunk to half size! What the hell! :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 01, 2010, 06:52:16 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 06:42:42 PM
Grouchiness is ok, I'm about as grumpy as fat old men can get.
As long as you're yelling "Merry friggin XMAS!!" through your mossy old dentures, then it's ok.
I don't have dentures though...
I'll give ya some :argh!:
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 07:41:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 01, 2010, 06:52:16 PM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 01, 2010, 06:42:42 PM
Grouchiness is ok, I'm about as grumpy as fat old men can get.
As long as you're yelling "Merry friggin XMAS!!" through your mossy old dentures, then it's ok.
I don't have dentures though...
I'll give ya some :argh!:
Awesome, then I'll have something to be grumpy about!
Fuck you if you don't like Christmas!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ysfQjKKi70
I've decided that since it's my dad's first Xmas out of the clink, I'm going to behave myself (while he's in front of me), at least for a little while. He looked at me askance when I described the neighbors who had their Xmas lights out and up BEFORE December 1st as "crackheads." As we tooled around the neighborhood on the way home, I'd just say, "Another crackhead! ...and ANOTHER!" :lol: Seriously--they spend the days after Turkey Day fucking pulling out lights and stringing them up as if it was their religion or something.
And I KNOWS it ain't in the Bible you have to put the damned things up before December 1st.
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2010, 07:32:05 PM
I've decided that since it's my dad's first Xmas out of the clink, I'm going to behave myself (while he's in front of me), at least for a little while. He looked at me askance when I described the neighbors who had their Xmas lights out and up BEFORE December 1st as "crackheads." As we tooled around the neighborhood on the way home, I'd just say, "Another crackhead! ...and ANOTHER!" :lol: Seriously--they spend the days after Turkey Day fucking pulling out lights and stringing them up as if it was their religion or something.
And I KNOWS it ain't in the Bible you have to put the damned things up before December 1st.
At least they're waiting until Thanksgiving.
Jenne, does that have something to do with his Christmas spirit or has he had some negative interactions with actual crackheads while in jail?
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 02, 2010, 08:18:37 PM
Jenne, does that have something to do with his Christmas spirit or has he had some negative interactions with actual crackheads while in jail?
No, he just doesn't get modern nomenclature for idjits yet. :lol: But he did entertain us with stories of "what ends up on the black market in prison came from some guy's asshole." Fr rls. Butthash, is smoked in the yard. For $1(jail) each. And the how's of their manufacture will blow your mind.
I'm going to have some FUN shit to share with you all. Sort of like my husband's proctology rotation story from medical school we dine out on...
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 02, 2010, 07:47:00 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2010, 07:32:05 PM
I've decided that since it's my dad's first Xmas out of the clink, I'm going to behave myself (while he's in front of me), at least for a little while. He looked at me askance when I described the neighbors who had their Xmas lights out and up BEFORE December 1st as "crackheads." As we tooled around the neighborhood on the way home, I'd just say, "Another crackhead! ...and ANOTHER!" :lol: Seriously--they spend the days after Turkey Day fucking pulling out lights and stringing them up as if it was their religion or something.
And I KNOWS it ain't in the Bible you have to put the damned things up before December 1st.
At least they're waiting until Thanksgiving.
Bah. And humbug. Fucknuts, I tell you! Absolute fuckingNUTS.
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2010, 09:34:37 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 02, 2010, 08:18:37 PM
Jenne, does that have something to do with his Christmas spirit or has he had some negative interactions with actual crackheads while in jail?
No, he just doesn't get modern nomenclature for idjits yet. :lol: But he did entertain us with stories of "what ends up on the black market in prison came from some guy's asshole." Fr rls. Butthash, is smoked in the yard. For $1(jail) each. And the how's of their manufacture will blow your mind.
I'm going to have some FUN shit to share with you all. Sort of like my husband's proctology rotation story from medical school we dine out on...
Toilet hooch FTW.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 02, 2010, 09:39:19 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2010, 09:34:37 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 02, 2010, 08:18:37 PM
Jenne, does that have something to do with his Christmas spirit or has he had some negative interactions with actual crackheads while in jail?
No, he just doesn't get modern nomenclature for idjits yet. :lol: But he did entertain us with stories of "what ends up on the black market in prison came from some guy's asshole." Fr rls. Butthash, is smoked in the yard. For $1(jail) each. And the how's of their manufacture will blow your mind.
I'm going to have some FUN shit to share with you all. Sort of like my husband's proctology rotation story from medical school we dine out on...
Toilet hooch FTW.
Yeah, it goes WAY beyond the toilet hooch. Which they apparently now make out of Halls cough drops. Yeah. Never mind the little packets of jelly and whatnot. No no no. Anything with sugar. ANY THING.
No, it's odd what the human body can do...when you will it. And what the mind will overcome when it wants something badly enough. So when you use a cellphone that was smuggled (along with its charger and a roll of tabacco?) up someone's ass...and you don't care...that's some awesome power you have over your visceral reactions...
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2010, 09:44:31 PM
Yeah, it goes WAY beyond the toilet hooch. Which they apparently now make out of Halls cough drops. Yeah. Never mind the little packets of jelly and whatnot. No no no. Anything with sugar. ANY THING.
I've heard lots of ketchup is used. :horrormirth: Been tempted for YEARS to see what fermented and watered down ketchup would taste like. Never had the intestinal fortitude to attempt it.
I'd only participate in black Friday if it was like this....
http://www.hulu.com/watch/194723/saturday-night-live-black-friday (http://www.hulu.com/watch/194723/saturday-night-live-black-friday)
Quote from: -Kel- on December 03, 2010, 02:16:23 AM
I'd only participate in black Friday if it was like this....
http://www.hulu.com/watch/194723/saturday-night-live-black-friday (http://www.hulu.com/watch/194723/saturday-night-live-black-friday)
heh, close enough.
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2010, 09:34:37 PM
No, he just doesn't get modern nomenclature for idjits yet. :lol: But he did entertain us with stories of "what ends up on the black market in prison came from some guy's asshole." Fr rls. Butthash, is smoked in the yard. For $1(jail) each. And the how's of their manufacture will blow your mind.
Butthash in this context is actual hashish smuggled via the butt, not Jenkem, right?
And, what do you mean by $1(jail) ? Jail dollars are different?
QuoteI'm going to have some FUN shit to share with you all.
Looking forward to it!! But first, take your time to reunite with your dad (I'm still happy for you!!).
Quote from: Sir Coyote on December 03, 2010, 01:40:34 AM
I've heard lots of ketchup is used. :horrormirth: Been tempted for YEARS to see what fermented and watered down ketchup would taste like. Never had the intestinal fortitude to attempt it.
Jenne might correct me but, I read in a "recipe" that the ketchup is not used for its sugar contents but rather disguising flavours and something with the preservatives.
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 03, 2010, 10:08:42 AM
Quote from: Jenne on December 02, 2010, 09:34:37 PM
No, he just doesn't get modern nomenclature for idjits yet. :lol: But he did entertain us with stories of "what ends up on the black market in prison came from some guy's asshole." Fr rls. Butthash, is smoked in the yard. For $1(jail) each. And the how's of their manufacture will blow your mind.
Butthash in this context is actual hashish smuggled via the butt, not Jenkem, right?
And, what do you mean by $1(jail) ? Jail dollars are different?
QuoteI'm going to have some FUN shit to share with you all.
Looking forward to it!! But first, take your time to reunite with your dad (I'm still happy for you!!).
Butthash is not jenkem, no, I was making a play on words. ;) And yeah, cons aren't allowed to handle money, actual REAL-LIFE dollars, on the yard. Or when you visit. So they are given jail dollars. And those they can use in the commissary to buy stuff--razors, deoderant, snacks, etc. They are traded on the black market as well, though--you can "steal" food from the kitchen if you work there, sell the food for the jail bucks, and buy actual items from the commissary with those jail dollars...
I bet your dad will be great whenever you forget to take your house or car keys, though.
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 03, 2010, 10:10:06 AM
Quote from: Sir Coyote on December 03, 2010, 01:40:34 AM
I've heard lots of ketchup is used. :horrormirth: Been tempted for YEARS to see what fermented and watered down ketchup would taste like. Never had the intestinal fortitude to attempt it.
Jenne might correct me but, I read in a "recipe" that the ketchup is not used for its sugar contents but rather disguising flavours and something with the preservatives.
Oh gross. No, I don't know, but I can certainly ask. lol.
Quote from: Cain on December 03, 2010, 02:52:58 PM
I bet your dad will be great whenever you forget to take your house or car keys, though.
He was great at that before he went up north. ;) But that is mostly because he worked on cars and in real estate back in his not-so-ill-begotten youth.
Driving through my new neighborhood at night, I noticed that none of my new neighbors have any Christmas lights up yet. Not like the spags in my current neighborhood who started putting them up before Thanksgiving.
I really dig these Christmas lights: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFjI7gT1FvI
Quote from: Pastor-Mullah Zappathruster on December 06, 2010, 03:32:03 AM
I really dig these Christmas lights: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFjI7gT1FvI
:mittens:
Some would argue that as the only proper and acceptable use of christmas lights.