Here you go. Names and even questions removed. You know who you are.
1. Dear Pissed at the School District: No, your kid is not "misunderstood". Your kid is what we in the business call a "prick". He is not special, and you have done him a grave disservice by telling him that he is. He is just another po'bucker swine waiting for his inevitable incarceration, and shouldn't be allowed around other children. The fact that he is already a racist at age 15 implies that your parenting skills aren't up to managing a goldfish, let alone humans. Please stop breeding, and sell the kids you DO have off to medical research. It'll be better for everyone.
2. Yes, I really DO hate Pagans, at least as they are most commonly represented. While I DO have some Pagan friends, they haven't managed to take the very worst parts of Christianity, leaving out the few remaining good bits, and mashed it all up into a cult of personality (Seriously, if you have to show someone like C_A deference, you are DOOMED.). Nor do they insist that I call their 30-something ass an "elder" (WTF? Are you MORMONS or something?), AND they have at least a nodding acquaintance with the shower AND the gym. And, yes, I do openly laugh at your religion, and it's not the good kind of laugh. If you'll pardon the expression, "die in a fire".
3. No, I do NOT think it is "unreasonable" for my friends to sound off in Apple Talk about the state of their relationships, the health of their various animals, or their financial situation. It's one of the things Apple Talk is FOR. Stop being a fucking board nanny. Technically, you're still a Goddamn noob, and you haven't exactly made a stellar impression on anyone.
4. I agree that PH has potential. He is also, however, a fucked up little entitled trust-fund pay'bucker who needs the bullshit knocked out of him. His only real hope is to at least do the National Guard, because he is the one person most in need of a drill sergeant's attention that I have seen on this board in over a year. Otherwise, he's doomed to being some form of MBA, and dying Pink. He makes my fucking teeth itch.
5. AND HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU, SPARKY? Fuck off and die, you useless tit. I can't fucking stand you OR your buddy EBS. Do not mistake this for "joking around" or "mere irritation". I fucking hate you all, and want bad things to happen to you. Serious, here.
6. Yes, she's "damaged". We all are. If we weren't, we wouldn't fucking BE here, we'd be off with our peers, drinking mint fucking julips on the golf course. Just where, exactly, do you think you are? Merehumes.com? She can post what she likes, and you, Ma'am, can FUCK RIGHT OFF.
7. Yes, sometimes I just sort of walk away from a good idea. I lose the urge, and then anything I do appears - at least to me - as contrived. In this case, however, it was a BAD idea, and I have re-thought things, and decided that the most we SHOULD be doing is laughing while the monkeys drive over the cliff. Yes, they're taking us with them...I'm comfortable with that.
8. No, beer doesn't make you closer to Eris. It makes you drunk. You get closer to Eris FIRST, and THEN you gobble pills and swill cheap alcohol. You are getting cause and effect mixed up. Do you think we Holy Men™ like drinking too much bourbon, and staggering around until someone picks a fight? Why, yes...Yes, we do. But we're Holy Men™, and you aren't.
9. I am utterly unimpressed by your threats of "karma", "3-fold laws", or "curses". Curses only work on people that believe in them, first of all, and also there's not much your curse could do that wouldn't make me hate life or the world anymore than I do right now. So, yeah, I'm going to continue harassing your fellow smelly hippies in the park once a month, only now I'm going to do it twice as bad. Fuck you and your "Lord & Lady", right in the ear holes. You people are everything that is wrong with America, all wrapped up in one smelly little package. Get a fucking life.
10. No, I've had a vasectomy. You will need to get Overman™ genes elsewhere. I shall suggest ECH, though you will need a hockey helmet and a specially reinforced set of kneepads with some of that no-skid stuff on them, and I'd also suggest that you get GOOD AND DRUNK first, because he's not what you call "normal" in any sense of the word. But isn't it worth all the agony and unreturned phone calls, to have a kid that will be a civic menace and completely socially unacceptable?
SPECIAL BONUS #11. While I have limited experience in the region, a tourist mostly, I think you pretty much have heaven on fucking Earth there, and unless you're willing to do your grad work at the U of A, I think you are making a big mistake. You live in an actual CITY, not some horrible sprawl of strip malls and template architecture. There's actual CULTURE there, even if you have to club hipsters out of the way to get to it, and you have music that is not limited to bad Southern Rock Tribute bands. Even Chicago sucks compared to where you are. The only thing that comes close is New York, and I don't have to tell you what a step down THAT is. But if you can't be talked out of it, there's always room in Tucson. We love it here.
Hey these are great! Though they make me question the mental precision and sense of self-preservation in some our board members. 1,3 and 6 in particular.
I'm pretty sure I never want to know who asked #10.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on March 31, 2011, 05:42:11 PM
I'm pretty sure I never want to know who asked #10.
Be nice, or I'll tell you. :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 05:44:08 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on March 31, 2011, 05:42:11 PM
I'm pretty sure I never want to know who asked #10.
Be nice, or I'll tell you. :lulz:
I wanna know. Or, rather, I want you to tell us to see ECH squirm. :lulz:
Quote from: Luna on March 31, 2011, 05:55:58 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 05:44:08 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on March 31, 2011, 05:42:11 PM
I'm pretty sure I never want to know who asked #10.
Be nice, or I'll tell you. :lulz:
I wanna know. Or, rather, I want you to tell us to see ECH squirm. :lulz:
Sorry, it would violate my ethics to post the users involved or the actual questions. Also bear in mind that the person in question asked for MY gametes. Since they are no longer in print, I suggested ECH. He is, I am confident, up for
any program. And I mean ANY program.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 05:59:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on March 31, 2011, 05:55:58 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 05:44:08 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on March 31, 2011, 05:42:11 PM
I'm pretty sure I never want to know who asked #10.
Be nice, or I'll tell you. :lulz:
I wanna know. Or, rather, I want you to tell us to see ECH squirm. :lulz:
Sorry, it would violate my ethics to post the users involved or the actual questions. Also bear in mind that the person in question asked for MY gametes. Since they are no longer in print, I suggested ECH. He is, I am confident, up for any program. And I mean ANY program.
Didn't figure you'd say. :wink:
These are great.
Quote from: Alty on March 31, 2011, 05:31:38 PM
Hey these are great! Though they make me question the mental precision and sense of self-preservation in some our board members. 1,3 and 6 in particular.
Most of them make me question their grasp on reality. We Holy Men™ have more important things to do than answer weird fucking PMs that arrive, unsolicited, in our PM boxes. Why people single me out for this sort of thing - and then expect me to give them comforting answers - is utterly beyond me.
The only reason I bother with them is for the hate mail that invariably results from my answers.
#10 is getting set up for prophylactic euthanasia. Roger "forgot" to tell them to check the load bearing capacity of the structure they'd be using, and local zoning ordnances.
Wait...those are real questions? :?
Quote from: Richter on March 31, 2011, 06:05:20 PM
#10 is getting set up for prophylactic euthanasia. Roger "forgot" to tell them to check the load bearing capacity of the structure they'd be using, and local zoning ordnances.
ECH has a special harness that will keep HIM safe, so no worries.
Quote from: Charley Brown on March 31, 2011, 06:06:11 PM
Wait...those are real questions? :?
Those are responses to real questions.
I am a freak magnet.
:scared:
I have a strange feeling #6 was about me.....
Quote from: Khara on March 31, 2011, 06:08:11 PM
:scared:
I have a strange feeling #6 was about me.....
Nope. I'd really rather not give out any details. The person who PM'd should just take their spanking and move along.
I get about 5 hilarious PMs a week, often from people who have never posted on the board itself.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:10:43 PM
I get about 5 hilarious PMs a week, often from people who have never posted on the board itself.
Yeesh. Apparently all Holy Men
TM are supposed to be fonts of wisdom and Holy Kindness and rationality and stuff?
Quote from: Luna on March 31, 2011, 06:12:17 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:10:43 PM
I get about 5 hilarious PMs a week, often from people who have never posted on the board itself.
Yeesh. Apparently all Holy MenTM are supposed to be fonts of wisdom and Holy Kindness and rationality and stuff?
I sympathize with Elijah and Samuel more than with Jesus and Gandhi.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:13:29 PM
Quote from: Luna on March 31, 2011, 06:12:17 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:10:43 PM
I get about 5 hilarious PMs a week, often from people who have never posted on the board itself.
Yeesh. Apparently all Holy MenTM are supposed to be fonts of wisdom and Holy Kindness and rationality and stuff?
I sympathize with Elijah and Samuel more than with Jesus and Gandhi.
Yeah, some of us got that fairly early on (like, before we started posting or sending PMs)...
I'm HolyTM as all shitfuckdamn, and I don't get weirdness in my PM inbox.
I think it's not so much that Roger is holy that he is so afflicted, more that he is a Very Special 'Case.
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2011, 06:18:07 PM
I'm HolyTM as all shitfuckdamn, and I don't get weirdness in my PM inbox.
I think it's not so much that Roger is holy that he is so afflicted, more that he is a Very Special 'Case.
Well, it's also that you're never around. People prefer a more accessible prophet to annoy with their endless bleating. There was only two people in that batch that I didn't hate, and only one that didn't annoy me, as that person actually asked a sensible question (#11).
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:21:14 PM
Quote from: Payne on March 31, 2011, 06:18:07 PM
I'm HolyTM as all shitfuckdamn, and I don't get weirdness in my PM inbox.
I think it's not so much that Roger is holy that he is so afflicted, more that he is a Very Special 'Case.
Well, it's also that you're never around. People prefer a more accessible prophet to annoy with their endless bleating. There was only two people in that batch that I didn't hate, and only one that didn't annoy me, as that person actually asked a sensible question (#11).
I always knew I should have paid extra for the Omnipresence, but the used Spiritual Advisor salesman was pushing me so hard on it I just wanted to gtfo. I got the "I love
everyone" upgrade and it's caused me nothing but grief.
Also, I've been around forever, and it seems that those new to The Faith somehow believe that I will be kind to them because "They're On My Side", whatever the hell that means.
One of the hate letters after the first round of these said something along the lines of "YOU DON'T REPRESENT DISCORDIA! DISCORDIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE NICE TO EVERYONE."
Well, yes. Everyone but you, Sunshine.
Payne, what the fuck? I'll preach to them, but I don't want to look at them.
Gotta wonder how much of it is because they WANT to be abused...
Yeah, they're out there.
One of these nights when I'm in a mood, I'll talk about my old phone job.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:10:43 PM
I get about 5 hilarious PMs a week, often from people who have never posted on the board itself.
WHAAAAAAAAA?
It's a lot like being a head of state. I mean...I may deal with secular issues (primarily) but the plebeians of my fair principality EXHAUST me with their petty problems. I almost feel like I should execute them all and bring in a new batch to potty train...daily.
Quote from: Hoopla on March 31, 2011, 06:28:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:10:43 PM
I get about 5 hilarious PMs a week, often from people who have never posted on the board itself.
WHAAAAAAAAA?
Oh, yeah. Lots of zero post accounts, some going back to 2008 or so. They usually start of with "I've been reading your stuff forever, and you do a great angry hateful mad prophet act..."
And then I accidentally all over them and don't even say "thank you".
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on March 31, 2011, 06:28:47 PM
It's a lot like being a head of state. I mean...I may deal with secular issues (primarily) but the plebeians of my fair principality EXHAUST me with their petty problems. I almost feel like I should execute them all and bring in a new batch to potty train...daily.
This and tobacco withdrawal are not compatible.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:33:03 PM
Quote from: Suu the Infallible on March 31, 2011, 06:28:47 PM
It's a lot like being a head of state. I mean...I may deal with secular issues (primarily) but the plebeians of my fair principality EXHAUST me with their petty problems. I almost feel like I should execute them all and bring in a new batch to potty train...daily.
This and tobacco withdrawal are not compatible.
Kill them all. Smoke a butt. Life's too short.
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 09:43:19 PM
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Just recently. :lulz:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:11:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:10:24 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 09:43:19 PM
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Just recently. :lulz:
*hangs head in shame*
WTF did YOU do?
You aren't responsible for their actions. Why you continue to post at TCC, a board full of pompous frauds is beyond me, though.
Hell, one of the admins is a born again Christian. At a Pagan board. :lol:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:14:47 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:11:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:10:24 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 09:43:19 PM
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Just recently. :lulz:
*hangs head in shame*
WTF did YOU do?
You aren't responsible for their actions. Why you continue to post at TCC, a board full of pompous frauds is beyond me, though.
Hell, one of the admins is a born again Christian. At a Pagan board. :lol:
That explains why they're so fucking uptight.
Quote from: Nigel on March 31, 2011, 11:36:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:14:47 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:11:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:10:24 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 09:43:19 PM
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Just recently. :lulz:
*hangs head in shame*
WTF did YOU do?
You aren't responsible for their actions. Why you continue to post at TCC, a board full of pompous frauds is beyond me, though.
Hell, one of the admins is a born again Christian. At a Pagan board. :lol:
That explains why they're so fucking uptight.
Only partly. I think they're pissed at you guys for making them look stupid so often.
:lulz: These are awesome, and a couple of them seem to hit close to home.
I feel for ya in those nicotine withdrawals though. Last time I got to jonesin', I drove around with the dogs in the car, going from 711 to 711...no one was open. I mean, it WAS 2 am, but STILL.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:45:06 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 31, 2011, 11:36:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:14:47 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:11:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:10:24 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 09:43:19 PM
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Just recently. :lulz:
*hangs head in shame*
WTF did YOU do?
You aren't responsible for their actions. Why you continue to post at TCC, a board full of pompous frauds is beyond me, though.
Hell, one of the admins is a born again Christian. At a Pagan board. :lol:
That explains why they're so fucking uptight.
Only partly. I think they're pissed at you guys for making them look stupid so often.
They shouldn't make it so easy, then.
Quote from: Nigel on April 01, 2011, 02:02:44 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:45:06 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 31, 2011, 11:36:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:14:47 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:11:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:10:24 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 09:43:19 PM
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Just recently. :lulz:
*hangs head in shame*
WTF did YOU do?
You aren't responsible for their actions. Why you continue to post at TCC, a board full of pompous frauds is beyond me, though.
Hell, one of the admins is a born again Christian. At a Pagan board. :lol:
That explains why they're so fucking uptight.
Only partly. I think they're pissed at you guys for making them look stupid so often.
They shouldn't make it so easy, then.
I concur. It irritates me more than you, I think.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:14:47 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:11:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:10:24 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 09:43:19 PM
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Just recently. :lulz:
*hangs head in shame*
WTF did YOU do?
You aren't responsible for their actions. Why you continue to post at TCC, a board full of pompous frauds is beyond me, though.
Hell, one of the admins is a born again Christian. At a Pagan board. :lol:
Firetard just wants to be a special snowflake in his old age. :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 06:21:14 PM
People prefer a more accessible prophet to annoy with their endless bleating. There was only two people in that batch that I didn't hate, and only one that didn't annoy me, as that person actually asked a sensible question (#11).
You are kind of the most visible person on the board. You have like 8000 more posts than LMNO (the number two poster), and that's not including alts.
Quote(18.325 per day)
Quote(17.846 per day)
Given enough time, It looks as though I will be ranking up there with Roger one day. :oops:
ETA: At least in terms of visibility/post count. Not content or Holiness
TM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:14:47 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 11:11:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 31, 2011, 11:10:24 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 31, 2011, 09:43:19 PM
If you really get that many PMs from pagans, I am sorry.
Just recently. :lulz:
*hangs head in shame*
WTF did YOU do?
You aren't responsible for their actions. Why you continue to post at TCC, a board full of pompous frauds is beyond me, though.
Hell, one of the admins is a born again Christian. At a Pagan board. :lol:
I could even forgive THAT part if it wasn't for the fact that she sold out and let someone else tell her what to do or what to believe in.
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 01, 2011, 04:06:26 PM
Quote(18.325 per day)
Quote(17.846 per day)
Given enough time, It looks as though I will be ranking up there with Roger one day. :oops:
ETA: At least in terms of visibility/post count. Not content or HolinessTM
that's what I thought too, back when I averaged 23+ posts per day in my first year here.
but if you can keep that pace up for 7 years, you're either gonna be dropping some serious content, or you're gonna have turned into some horrible cross of Trollaxe and Eldora.
:lulz:
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on April 01, 2011, 07:07:22 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on April 01, 2011, 04:06:26 PM
Quote(18.325 per day)
Quote(17.846 per day)
Given enough time, It looks as though I will be ranking up there with Roger one day. :oops:
ETA: At least in terms of visibility/post count. Not content or HolinessTM
that's what I thought too, back when I averaged 23+ posts per day in my first year here.
but if you can keep that pace up for 7 years, you're either gonna be dropping some serious content, or you're gonna have turned into some horrible cross of Trollaxe and Eldora.
:lulz:
Point. :lulz: