ON JUNE 4TH, 2011. THE DARK EMPRESS NIGEL AND SOVEREIGN PRINCESS KAOUSUU HAVE OFFICIALLY WED IN THE HOLY BONDS OF FUCK YOU.
WE DEMAND GIFTS AND LARGESS. LEST YOUR BALLS BE STOMPED INTO BITS.
NOW.
I have swords and oranges and gasoline and some Costco gift cards! :D All for you!
Congrats on your nuptials. Try not to kill anyone on the honeymoon.
:cainftw:
BE AFRAID. BE VERY VERY AFRAID. OR I WILL KICK THE FEAR INTO YOU.
STEEL TOED FEAR.
I realized the most terrifying part. I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS UNHOLY UNION! :horrormirth:
Quote from: Doktor Phox on June 04, 2011, 07:21:04 AM
I realized the most terrifying part. I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS UNHOLY UNION! :horrormirth:
O.o Run, Phox, run!
::chewing sunflower seed shells::
M'radulashins.
I got a ticket stub fer a beer festival and a button. Y'awnt it?
~spit~
Can I offer you the deed to the Sierra Nevadas? I'm the Calispag at the foot of them, after all.
I can offer the Connecticut Time Distortion Field.
Take it. Please.
These gifts are pleasing.
But I need more Doom.
Quote from: Cainad on June 04, 2011, 12:53:23 PM
I can offer the Connecticut Time Distortion Field.
Take it. Please.
I accept this.
AND DOING SO
OFFICIALLY STRETCH MY TERRITORY TO THE HUDSON.
BWUAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU PEASANTS!
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE IN FOR NOW
POOR THINGS
THEY DON'T KNOW.
SO I uh, have this ancient wooden keg. It, uh, says do not open until Armageddon. Would a mysterious keg of something you aren't supposed to tap until the end of the world be pleasing?
Quote from: Your Mom on June 04, 2011, 02:07:15 PM
These gifts are pleasing.
But I need more Doom.
Ooh! I have a 50 gallon barrel of doom I was saving for just such an occasion!
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 04, 2011, 02:43:56 PM
SO I uh, have this ancient wooden keg. It, uh, says do not open until Armageddon. Would a mysterious keg of something you aren't supposed to tap until the end of the world be pleasing?
GIVE IT
Quote from: Your Mom on June 04, 2011, 03:30:15 PM
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 04, 2011, 02:43:56 PM
SO I uh, have this ancient wooden keg. It, uh, says do not open until Armageddon. Would a mysterious keg of something you aren't supposed to tap until the end of the world be pleasing?
GIVE IT
NOW.
Quote from: Cuddleshift on June 04, 2011, 02:50:46 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 04, 2011, 02:07:15 PM
These gifts are pleasing.
But I need more Doom.
Ooh! I have a 50 gallon barrel of doom I was saving for just such an occasion!
YOU TOO. GIVE IT HERE.
I AM NOT RECEIVING OFFERINGS FROM MY IMMEDIATE SUBJECTS IN THE PRINCIPALITY. :crankey:
DESTROY THEM!
The Richterran Synod, in recognized role as Dukedom of you Principality, has prepared a measure of certain powerful tincture, which may be deployed either as chemical weapon or tasty beverage at your pleasure.
We are uncertain about it's adherence to Geneva, since they have yet to return our calls or communiques.
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2011, 05:16:29 PM
The Richterran Synod, in recognized role as Dukedom of you Principality, has prepared a measure of certain powerful tincture, which may be deployed either as chemical weapon or tasty beverage at your pleasure.
We are uncertain about it's adherence to Geneva, since they have yet to return our calls or communiques.
I APPROVE.
We don't follow Geneva. Is good.
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2011, 05:16:29 PM
The Richterran Synod, in recognized role as Dukedom of you Principality, has prepared a measure of certain powerful tincture, which may be deployed either as chemical weapon or tasty beverage at your pleasure.
We are uncertain about it's adherence to Geneva, since they have yet to return our calls or communiques.
That'd be because they tested it. Rumor has it they poured the sample bottle into six glasses and, without even reading (much less following) the carefully worded safety instructions, drank it.
Rumor has it one of them actually managed six inch flames out of both ears before his head exploded in multi-colored fire. What happened to the rest is not appropriate imagery for such a happy occasion.
My own offering is nearly as sweet as our beloved ladies, a cordial duly tested last weekend on a dozen or so spags, none of whom died. We're fairly sure, anyway.
Quote from: Suu on June 04, 2011, 06:28:22 AM
ON JUNE 4TH, 2011. THE DARK EMPRESS NIGEL AND SOVEREIGN PRINCESS KAOUSUU HAVE OFFICIALLY WED IN THE HOLY BONDS OF FUCK YOU.
WE DEMAND GIFTS AND LARGESS. LEST YOUR BALLS BE STOMPED INTO BITS.
NOW.
While I find your attempt to finagle a backdoor invasion of my territory quite charming, I assure you that your alliance with The Dark Empress (if such a thing is even really possible) will not lessen the futility of your attempts to subvert my sovereignty one tiny bit.
Hell, you couldn't even take over Actual Maine (sorry, RWHN, you're not in that Maine) when I wasn't looking.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 04, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 04, 2011, 06:28:22 AM
ON JUNE 4TH, 2011. THE DARK EMPRESS NIGEL AND SOVEREIGN PRINCESS KAOUSUU HAVE OFFICIALLY WED IN THE HOLY BONDS OF FUCK YOU.
WE DEMAND GIFTS AND LARGESS. LEST YOUR BALLS BE STOMPED INTO BITS.
NOW.
While I find your attempt to finagle a backdoor invasion of my territory quite charming, I assure you that your alliance with The Dark Empress (if such a thing is even really possible) will not lessen the futility of your attempts to subvert my sovereignty one tiny bit.
LARGESS. NOW.
DON'T TALK TO MY WIFE LIKE THAT! :argh!:
I offer a variety of perverts and drag queens, bearing bottles of jalapeño infused tequila.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 04, 2011, 06:31:31 PM
I offer a variety of perverts and drag queens, bearing bottles of jalapeño infused tequila.
This pleases me.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 04, 2011, 06:31:31 PM
I offer a variety of perverts and drag queens, bearing bottles of jalapeño infused tequila.
GIFT ACCEPTED!
Hellyeah.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 04, 2011, 02:07:15 PM
These gifts are pleasing.
But I need more Doom.
I can offer the blessings of Tucson, but are you sure you want?
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 05, 2011, 12:34:07 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 04, 2011, 02:07:15 PM
These gifts are pleasing.
But I need more Doom.
I can offer the blessings of Tucson, but are you sure you want?
Oh...why the hell not. Portland and Providence together should be able to take Tucson.
...Right?
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 04, 2011, 05:58:40 PM
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 04, 2011, 05:56:07 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 04, 2011, 06:28:22 AM
ON JUNE 4TH, 2011. THE DARK EMPRESS NIGEL AND SOVEREIGN PRINCESS KAOUSUU HAVE OFFICIALLY WED IN THE HOLY BONDS OF FUCK YOU.
WE DEMAND GIFTS AND LARGESS. LEST YOUR BALLS BE STOMPED INTO BITS.
NOW.
While I find your attempt to finagle a backdoor invasion of my territory quite charming, I assure you that your alliance with The Dark Empress (if such a thing is even really possible) will not lessen the futility of your attempts to subvert my sovereignty one tiny bit.
LARGESS. NOW.
I GOT YOUR LARGESS, BABY.
\
:ECH:
Yuo cannot haz full powers until you synchronize your ovaries. Only then, (I'm channeling some old, dead hippy) can you act in true synergetic metaconcert. Until then you will just have the normal powers of two belligerent gobby chicks.
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 12:37:28 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 05, 2011, 12:34:07 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 04, 2011, 02:07:15 PM
These gifts are pleasing.
But I need more Doom.
I can offer the blessings of Tucson, but are you sure you want?
Oh...why the hell not. Portland and Providence together should be able to take Tucson.
...Right?
WE CAN DO IT! :eek:
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2011, 12:59:11 AM
Yuo cannot haz full powers until you synchronize your ovaries. Only then, (I'm channeling some old, dead hippy) can you act in true synergetic metaconcert. Until then you will just have the normal powers of two belligerent gobby chicks.
I think we're both on ovary-stunting birth control. Consider yourselves fortunate.
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 04, 2011, 06:28:22 AM
ON JUNE 4TH, 2011. THE DARK EMPRESS NIGEL AND SOVEREIGN PRINCESS KAOUSUU HAVE OFFICIALLY WED IN THE HOLY BONDS OF FUCK YOU.
WE DEMAND GIFTS AND LARGESS. LEST YOUR BALLS BE STOMPED INTO BITS.
NOW.
You know that means she's going to eat your head, right?
Quote from: Your Mom on June 05, 2011, 01:03:26 AM
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 12:37:28 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 05, 2011, 12:34:07 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 04, 2011, 02:07:15 PM
These gifts are pleasing.
But I need more Doom.
I can offer the blessings of Tucson, but are you sure you want?
Oh...why the hell not. Portland and Providence together should be able to take Tucson.
...Right?
WE CAN DO IT! :eek:
HAHAHAHAHA!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 05, 2011, 01:33:02 AM
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 04, 2011, 06:28:22 AM
ON JUNE 4TH, 2011. THE DARK EMPRESS NIGEL AND SOVEREIGN PRINCESS KAOUSUU HAVE OFFICIALLY WED IN THE HOLY BONDS OF FUCK YOU.
WE DEMAND GIFTS AND LARGESS. LEST YOUR BALLS BE STOMPED INTO BITS.
NOW.
You know that means she's going to eat your head, right?
:lulz:
Who said I was the male in the relationship!?
FIGHT TO THE DEATH! WITH STEEL TOED BOOTS, IRON OVARIES AND HEAD-EATING CHOMPERS!
Big fat Dildos, or gtfo!
I am now picturing myself whacking the Dreaded Battle Nun about the shoulders with a large, floppy dildo. :lulz:
Quote from: Your Mom on June 05, 2011, 03:14:10 AM
I am now picturing myself whacking the Dreaded Battle Nun about the shoulders with a large, floppy dildo. :lulz:
We need to do this someday. But you have to wear the welding goggles!
Here is Suzi, modelling the latest Dildo-Ninja Nun out. With accessories.
(http://i.imgur.com/ebJ70.jpg)
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 03:21:24 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 05, 2011, 03:14:10 AM
I am now picturing myself whacking the Dreaded Battle Nun about the shoulders with a large, floppy dildo. :lulz:
We need to do this someday. But you have to wear the welding goggles!
:lulz: PHOTO SHOOT!
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2011, 03:26:34 AM
Here is Suzi, modelling the latest Dildo-Ninja Nun out. With accessories.
(http://i.imgur.com/ebJ70.jpg)
That woman scares me.
Quote from: BadBeast on June 05, 2011, 03:26:34 AM
Here is Suzi, modelling the latest Dildo-Ninja Nun out. With accessories.
(http://i.imgur.com/ebJ70.jpg)
:fap:
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 02:24:10 AM
Who said I was the male in the relationship!?
FIGHT TO THE DEATH! WITH STEEL TOED BOOTS, IRON OVARIES AND HEAD-EATING CHOMPERS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA2QK09K-zs
Quote from: Richter on June 05, 2011, 04:27:17 AM
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 02:24:10 AM
Who said I was the male in the relationship!?
FIGHT TO THE DEATH! WITH STEEL TOED BOOTS, IRON OVARIES AND HEAD-EATING CHOMPERS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA2QK09K-zs
I suppose for the sake of it being a dildo swordfight, it really IS a cock and reposte, eh?
I bear offerings of fresh grated Canadian upper-class hipster. This is their kingdom, you know.
Maybe the full body Ninja Dildo Armour?
http://i.imgur.com/uqUea.jpg
nsfw
You might wanna NSFW that.
Brought home some fresh hot Publix Cubans for you two. :D I'll eat them in your honor.
:sadbanana:
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 05:33:10 AM
:sadbanana:
I meant, I'll, uh . . . air-mail them to you? Same-day delivery? :D :D :D
I may actually take you up in the offer of real Cuban bread. I'll just know what day to expect it, get pulled pork started and get all the ingredients I need.
...Damnit. I may have to walk downtown and suffer through a Providence-excuse for a Cuban, today.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 05, 2011, 05:27:05 AM
Brought home some fresh hot Publix Cubans for you two. :D I'll eat them in your honor.
WANT
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 03:07:12 PM
I may actually take you up in the offer of real Cuban bread. I'll just know what day to expect it, get pulled pork started and get all the ingredients I need.
...Damnit. I may have to walk downtown and suffer through a Providence-excuse for a Cuban, today.
Portland doesn't even HAVE them.
OK, that's not completely true. There are like four places in town that make them, and I've never been to any of them.
There are 2 places in the world where you can get a proper Cuban sammich.
Cuba.
Tampa.
Sorry, Miami Cubans are disgusting. I don't know WTF they put on them, but it's not right. The last time I got one there it had some kind of salami with peppercorns on it and bologna. BOLOGNA DOES NOT BELONG ON A CUBAN. FFS. IT'S PULLED PORK, HAM, SWISS CHEESE, MUSTARD, PICKLES, BREAD. PRESSED. GTFO. :argh!:
I've heard that Pambiche has good Cuban food. It also is run by, apparently, the only Cuban family in Portland.
Portland simply does not have a whole hell of a lot of Cubans.
Neither does Providence, for that matter. We're a little far.
WHICH MAKES ME MISS LIVING IN TAMPA EVEN MOAR. :x
DEAR SUU
KINDLY TO PLEASE ACCEPT OUR WEDDING GIFT OF
THE TEN DELICIOUS AND FRESH EARS OF CORN IN THE BOTTOM DRAWER OF YOUR FRIDGE
THAT WE LEFT IN ANTICIPATION OF THESE GLORIOUS EVENTS
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 05, 2011, 07:31:10 PM
DEAR SUU
KINDLY TO PLEASE ACCEPT OUR WEDDING GIFT OF
THE TEN DELICIOUS AND FRESH EARS OF CORN IN THE BOTTOM DRAWER OF YOUR FRIDGE
THAT WE LEFT IN ANTICIPATION OF THESE GLORIOUS EVENTS
So. Much. Corn!
Quote from: Your Mom on June 05, 2011, 03:18:01 PM
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 03:07:12 PM
I may actually take you up in the offer of real Cuban bread. I'll just know what day to expect it, get pulled pork started and get all the ingredients I need.
...Damnit. I may have to walk downtown and suffer through a Providence-excuse for a Cuban, today.
Portland doesn't even HAVE them.
OK, that's not completely true. There are like four places in town that make them, and I've never been to any of them.
You can't get the bread to be right here. The air isn't right for it.
OMG CORN ON THE COB
I wants it!
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 05, 2011, 08:33:19 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 05, 2011, 03:18:01 PM
Quote from: Your Evil Stepmother on June 05, 2011, 03:07:12 PM
I may actually take you up in the offer of real Cuban bread. I'll just know what day to expect it, get pulled pork started and get all the ingredients I need.
...Damnit. I may have to walk downtown and suffer through a Providence-excuse for a Cuban, today.
Portland doesn't even HAVE them.
OK, that's not completely true. There are like four places in town that make them, and I've never been to any of them.
You can't get the bread to be right here. The air isn't right for it.
i can believe that. Bread is so fucking temperamental.
Speaking of that, though, if you haven't been to An Xuyen yet, it's so fucking worth the drive out to Foster that I can't even find words in the english language to express it. Though the only sandwiches to be had there are Bahn Mi (the best I've ever had anywhere BY FAR, BTW), the rolls they use would actually be just about perfect for a cuban. Also, every single fucking thing they bake there is amazingly awesome. And dirt cheap.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 06, 2011, 04:07:33 AM
Speaking of that, though, if you haven't been to An Xuyen yet, it's so fucking worth the drive out to Foster that I can't even find words in the english language to express it. Though the only sandwiches to be had there are Bahn Mi (the best I've ever had anywhere BY FAR, BTW), the rolls they use would actually be just about perfect for a cuban. Also, every single fucking thing they bake there is amazingly awesome. And dirt cheap.
I've been there, Patrik made me cry, I won't go back.
Not being able to eat there would make me cry. I literally eat lunch there like 5 times a week.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 06, 2011, 07:00:07 AM
Not being able to eat there would make me cry. I literally eat lunch there like 5 times a week.
Too far away for me to be concerned with that. And I have Don Pancho's.
Also when he repented and brought me a sandwich from there, it wasn't that exciting.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 05, 2011, 08:43:28 PM
OMG CORN ON THE COB
I wants it!
Now that you're married, YOU'RE ENTITLED TO HALF OF IT!! :D
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 07:14:43 AM
Also when he repented and brought me a sandwich from there, it wasn't that exciting.
He probably brought you a honky sandwich. If you're white and you try to order one of the real vietnamese ones, they'll try to discourage you unless you can convince them that no, you really DO want the one with the shredded pork skin.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 06, 2011, 04:14:47 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 06, 2011, 07:14:43 AM
Also when he repented and brought me a sandwich from there, it wasn't that exciting.
He probably brought you a honky sandwich. If you're white and you try to order one of the real vietnamese ones, they'll try to discourage you unless you can convince them that no, you really DO want the one with the shredded pork skin.
You're talking about Mr. Language. :lulz: He doesn't order the whitey food. He lived in Vietnam for a while.
It appeared to be boiled bacon with vegetables.
It was OK after I put a bunch of sriracha on it. Nothing to write home about.
Hmm, must have been one of the ones I haven't tried. The shredded pork and the pork & lemongrass versions are to die for. And they literally bake the best sandwich rolls I've ever come across anywhere.