Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 05:37:47 PM

Title: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 05:37:47 PM
I love this fucking town.  The horrible, dystopian science fiction appearance, the future that we were never warned about...The junkies, the overtired cops, the long-faced EMTs trying to light their cigarettes with shaking hands.  The sun, grinding down on you like the very fist of God.

That doesn't sound very lovable, of course, but what IS lovable is that Tucson is honest with you about everything.  What you see is what you get.  There is no veneer of glitz that you get in places like Reno or Vegas.  There is no pretense that it's somehow this neat little city in the desert.

It is the desert.

The other thing that makes this place great is that, since everyone here is crazy in one way or another, you can have fun.  The kind of fun that would get you thrown in prison anywhere else, on account of felony carrying on.

You want to blast through alleys at 60MPH?  Great...Just watch out for the other guy doing the same thing the other way.  You want to go monstering the boutique crowd in the legal district?  You won't be alone.

It's awful and it's horrible, and the people are insane and may attack you for no reason.  But it's Tucson, and she loves you.  Come to Tucson.  It's as good a place as any to die, and from up here, you have a first class view of Western civilization sliding into the ocean, on either side.

We're just as doomed as the rest of you, but we're comfortable with that.  We're acclimatized.

Come to Tucson.

Okay forever,
Dok
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 05, 2012, 06:00:15 PM
OFCUK. I have the strangest feeling I'm reading a travel bochure for the next 10 years of my life.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 05, 2012, 06:08:39 PM
I love Tucson.  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 06:10:44 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 05, 2012, 06:08:39 PM
I love Tucson.  :horrormirth:

There's no choice, really.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 06:11:28 PM
Quote from: navkat on April 05, 2012, 06:00:15 PM
OFCUK. I have the strangest feeling I'm reading a travel bochure for the next 10 years of my life.

Just think of it...You'll get more practical experience as an EMT than you could get anywhere outside of Afghanistan.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 05, 2012, 06:32:27 PM
If Tucson only had a waterfront with some seedy docks it would be the perfect place.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 06:34:40 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:32:27 PM
If Tucson only had a waterfront with some seedy docks it would be the perfect place.

Good point.

Somewhere in the "river"1 there's the bones of an old steamer, but that's the closest we come.



1  In Tucson, a "river" is a place where water used to be.  Except in monsoon season, when it's a place where you get sucked right off the bank and ground into tiny bits before you can even drown properly.  Bodies recovered from these floods have to be ID'd with DNA.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 05, 2012, 06:48:37 PM
I once watched a man drown in a flash-flood in an arroyo I had just crossed literally a minute earlier. It was out behind a rest stop in a nature area a few hundred yards north of I-8 about halfway between the Gila Bend cutoff and Yuma. In fact, it was that time I was gonna stop by and see you guys but my timeline got blown up by vehicular issues. Even if I had been carrying any rope with me I doubt I'd have been quick enough to do anything useful with it.

For Tucson to achieve MAXIMUM CITY DENSITY it needs somewhere for sailors to congregate. Port cities are the ultimate frontier towns.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 06:50:42 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:48:37 PM
I once watched a man drown in a flash-flood in an arroyo I had just crossed literally a minute earlier. It was out behind a rest stop in a nature area a few hundred yards north of I-8 about halfway between the Gila Bend cutoff and Yuma. In fact, it was that time I was gonna stop by and see you guys but my timeline got blown up by vehicular issues. Even if I had been carrying any rope with me I doubt I'd have been quick enough to do anything useful with it.

For Tucson to achieve MAXIMUM CITY DENSITY it needs somewhere for sailors to congregate. Port cities are the ultimate frontier towns.

Problem:  Those sailors would take the infection home with them.

We already have the triangle of weird (Providence, Portland, Tucson).  If Seattle got infected, there's no telling how much worse it would get. 

On the other hand, their police might stop acting like fucking Nazis.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 05, 2012, 06:55:37 PM
Heh. Where do you think Portland LEARNED this sort of behavior from? The WEIRD runs so deep in Seattle that comparing it to the Triumvirate of Strange Cities is like comparing LOTR (in full with all appendixes) to the Hunger Games trilogy.

And it's not always a good kind of weird up there either, by anybody's definition of "good".
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 05, 2012, 06:57:15 PM
I mean, that's where the term "Skid Row" came from. It's also where America invented the idea of having their government protect them from those damnable scoundrels who would ruin our fine nation with their demands of living wages, health care, and equal treatment.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 06:57:35 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:55:37 PM
Heh. Where do you think Portland LEARNED this sort of behavior from? The WEIRD runs so deep in Seattle that comparing it to the Triumvirate of Strange Cities is like comparing LOTR (in full with all appendixes) to the Hunger Games trilogy.

And it's not always a good kind of weird up there either, by anybody's definition of "good".

Seattle doesn't strike me as weird, so much as "trying too hard", and add a bunch of failed rockers and horrible thugs in uniform.  It's more like LA with more hippie-ass coffee shops.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 06:58:30 PM
Of course, I was only there once.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 05, 2012, 07:04:55 PM
I've never been except to pass through.

I just associate it with Bumbershoot, the Space Needle, rain, and Kurt Cobain writing a bunch of dark shit and shooting heroin and blowing his face off.  :x
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 05, 2012, 07:30:56 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 06:57:35 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:55:37 PM
Heh. Where do you think Portland LEARNED this sort of behavior from? The WEIRD runs so deep in Seattle that comparing it to the Triumvirate of Strange Cities is like comparing LOTR (in full with all appendixes) to the Hunger Games trilogy.

And it's not always a good kind of weird up there either, by anybody's definition of "good".

Seattle doesn't strike me as weird, so much as "trying too hard", and add a bunch of failed rockers and horrible thugs in uniform.  It's more like LA with more hippie-ass coffee shops.

On a superficial level you are absolutely correct. But there's a whole lot of ugly, violent, insane shit hanging out in the depths of that town, and the depths there are DEEP.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 07:31:54 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 07:30:56 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 06:57:35 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:55:37 PM
Heh. Where do you think Portland LEARNED this sort of behavior from? The WEIRD runs so deep in Seattle that comparing it to the Triumvirate of Strange Cities is like comparing LOTR (in full with all appendixes) to the Hunger Games trilogy.

And it's not always a good kind of weird up there either, by anybody's definition of "good".

Seattle doesn't strike me as weird, so much as "trying too hard", and add a bunch of failed rockers and horrible thugs in uniform.  It's more like LA with more hippie-ass coffee shops.

On a superficial level you are absolutely correct. But there's a whole lot of ugly, violent, insane shit hanging out in the depths of that town, and the depths there are DEEP.

And that's the beautiful thing about Tucson...Despite its long & gruesome history, it's about 1" deep.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 05, 2012, 07:37:21 PM
I hear that. It took me the better part of ten years to worm my way down into the real nitty-gritty of Seattle. They don't even really think of you as a person there until you've lived there at least five years.

Tucson, on the other hand....I have a feeling I'd be in the thick of that town's shit in about 45 minutes. :lulz:
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 07:39:08 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 07:37:21 PM
I hear that. It took me the better part of ten years to worm my way down into the real nitty-gritty of Seattle. They don't even really think of you as a person there until you've lived there at least five years.

Tucson, on the other hand....I have a feeling I'd be in the thick of that town's shit in about 45 minutes. :lulz:

The moment you stop the Ryder truck, you're a native.  There's a feeling that seniority doesn't mean much in the afterlife.  Whether your family was here in 1880, or you got off the bus 10 minutes ago, you've been here forever.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Freeky on April 05, 2012, 08:15:22 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 07:39:08 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 07:37:21 PM
I hear that. It took me the better part of ten years to worm my way down into the real nitty-gritty of Seattle. They don't even really think of you as a person there until you've lived there at least five years.

Tucson, on the other hand....I have a feeling I'd be in the thick of that town's shit in about 45 minutes. :lulz:

The moment you stop the Ryder truck, you're a native.  There's a feeling that seniority doesn't mean much in the afterlife.  Whether your family was here in 1880, or you got off the bus 10 minutes ago, you've been here forever.

Oh, oh, ohhhh.  The OP got my Tucson jucies flowing, and this line right here has something starting to percolate.

DAMN YOU CLASSES. :argh!:
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 05, 2012, 11:22:35 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:57:15 PM
I mean, that's where the term "Skid Row" came from. It's also where America invented the idea of having their government protect them from those damnable scoundrels who would ruin our fine nation with their demands of living wages, health care, and equal treatment.

Check yer history, sailor. While "skid row" originated in the NW, Seattle doesn't get the credit. All logging towns had a "skid road" where the logs were brought in on skids, which inevitably ended up lined with bars and brothels and attendant squalor. In Portland the old Skid Row was Burnside.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 06, 2012, 12:58:05 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 05, 2012, 11:22:35 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:57:15 PM
I mean, that's where the term "Skid Row" came from. It's also where America invented the idea of having their government protect them from those damnable scoundrels who would ruin our fine nation with their demands of living wages, health care, and equal treatment.

Check yer history, sailor. While "skid row" originated in the NW, Seattle doesn't get the credit. All logging towns had a "skid road" where the logs were brought in on skids, which inevitably ended up lined with bars and brothels and attendant squalor. In Portland the old Skid Row was Burnside.

Wikipedia has Seattle as "the most probable first" skidrow.

But I don't know where the author of the article lives.   :lol:
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 02:10:58 AM
SKID ROW!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qHWJML0Skg
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 06, 2012, 03:28:09 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 05, 2012, 11:22:35 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:57:15 PM
I mean, that's where the term "Skid Row" came from. It's also where America invented the idea of having their government protect them from those damnable scoundrels who would ruin our fine nation with their demands of living wages, health care, and equal treatment.

Check yer history, sailor. While "skid row" originated in the NW, Seattle doesn't get the credit. All logging towns had a "skid road" where the logs were brought in on skids, which inevitably ended up lined with bars and brothels and attendant squalor. In Portland the old Skid Row was Burnside.

I'm pretty sure Seattle's was the first, but nowhere near 100% sure so the best I can give you on this one is a hearty "NO, SEATTLE!"
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 06, 2012, 04:51:58 AM
I may in my older years be willing to move to the desert when the New England cold is too much on my about to retire bones. But in the meantime, there is more Boston to be known, to be explored, to be understood like a Bostonian is generally unable too, out of fear, out of gruff indifference.

No, Boston has its hooks in me, and I can't see myself living anywhere else in the foreseeable future.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:21:15 AM
Shit I miss about the desert:
1. 118 degrees and the feeling of sun just everywhere. If New York cold can find small cracks in yr coat and freeze yr bones, the Phoenix sun can find its way onto parts of your skin you didn't even realize were exposed to light...like the backs of your thighs, covered by shorts.
2. Driving the small section of road through Papago Park (Galvin pkwy) and the eerie feeling for those several minutes like I just drove into a rift in spacetime. One minute: upscale, gated communities and strip malls. Next minute, 1800s desert scenery...and the sky is so fucking BLUE.
3. Whimsical arrangements of saguaro and how they seemed to wave at me in such a friendly way as I drove to work in the morning. It was like being in a cartoon about the desert but for reals. Leaving PHX felt like leaving my little buddies behind.
4. February.
5. Summer nights in the pool. Grilling outside. Eating chunks of cooked stuff under the misters and jumping right back into the pool, never getting cold.
6. For about a week or so between the end of winter and the begining of spring, there were evenings that felt perfectly still and...idk how to explain except to say tepid outside. Like the air was exactly my own body temperature and I got the surreal feeling of being completely immersed in a bathtub full of my-body-temperature water. I didn't know where my body ended and the air began.
7. Driving up into the hills during the odd lightening...event thingy. Watching the bizarre lightshow in the distance, really, really knowing that just being outside was sort of dangerous.
8. No slugs. Ever. Anywhere. Desert is mineraly. Salt river. I could walk around barefoot at night because fuck you, slugs!
9. Driving the loop 101, moonroof and windows open wide to feel the sun burn the crown of my head, The Pixies blasting, Black Francis shrieking in spanglish about aliens and the A/C gusting into my fayce because it's hot, but not hot enough to shut out the sun.
10. That it often felt like another planet for so many reasons, like the seasons being reversed: shit blooms in the fall, not the spring like everywhere else. The lines and shapes of the scenery felt like a moon landing. The smell of ozone in the air made it smell like what a space ship smells like in my head.
11. Everything's casual. In 118 degree heat, no one expects you to be stuffy or wear suits. That's just stupid.
12. Fruit actually grows on TREES there!
13. Driving out of the immediate city area will inevitably bring you to open scenery and roadside stands where the most gorgeous, intricate hopi pottery you've seen in your life--stuff that belongs in a fucking museum is just laid out on fold up tables next to some silly kokopelli junk and a mexican american indian selling cans of coke out of a cooler for 75 cents. If you're lucky, there'll be a cardboard box full of pummelos there too.
14. The fact that NONE of the things that gave me the most pleasure in AZ cost much money or required materialism of any sort.

If Tucson is anywhere close to that, I'm thinking seriously about the...er...prospect.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2012, 06:24:57 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 06, 2012, 12:58:05 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 05, 2012, 11:22:35 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:57:15 PM
I mean, that's where the term "Skid Row" came from. It's also where America invented the idea of having their government protect them from those damnable scoundrels who would ruin our fine nation with their demands of living wages, health care, and equal treatment.

Check yer history, sailor. While "skid row" originated in the NW, Seattle doesn't get the credit. All logging towns had a "skid road" where the logs were brought in on skids, which inevitably ended up lined with bars and brothels and attendant squalor. In Portland the old Skid Row was Burnside.

Wikipedia has Seattle as "the most probable first" skidrow.

But I don't know where the author of the article lives.   :lol:

The oldest one is probably Forks.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2012, 06:31:40 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 06, 2012, 03:28:09 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 05, 2012, 11:22:35 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 05, 2012, 06:57:15 PM
I mean, that's where the term "Skid Row" came from. It's also where America invented the idea of having their government protect them from those damnable scoundrels who would ruin our fine nation with their demands of living wages, health care, and equal treatment.

Check yer history, sailor. While "skid row" originated in the NW, Seattle doesn't get the credit. All logging towns had a "skid road" where the logs were brought in on skids, which inevitably ended up lined with bars and brothels and attendant squalor. In Portland the old Skid Row was Burnside.

I'm pretty sure Seattle's was the first, but nowhere near 100% sure so the best I can give you on this one is a hearty "NO, SEATTLE!"

Seattlites are always saying that. Funny thing is, Seattlites are always comparing Seattle to Portland. Makes no sense. Isn't it it's own thing? Why do Seattle people always seem to want to define it as "Better than Portland"? Makes as much sense as L.A. defining itself as "Better than Tijuana".
:lulz:

Shit, other than sharing the geographical region known as the PNW, they're two totally different places.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:33:33 AM
Seattle: Not quite Canadian but not Portland either!
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2012, 06:51:07 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:33:33 AM
Seattle: Not quite Canadian but not Portland either!

Seattle is quite unique and wonderful in its own right. But I think that when Portland became New York's big crush after it had been so in love with Seattle in the '90's, Seattle got jealous (not that it wanted New York anymore, it just couldn't believe that New York would choose Portland over it) and ever since then, the way Seattle feels better about itself is by putting Portland down. "Oh, well, I'm older, more grown-up, and more sophisticated than Portland!" "Everything Portland does, I do better, and I did it first!".

Seattle, it's about time you let go of this. You're better than that; instead of dancing around trying to divert attention from Portland, highlight what you're good at. It's time to let your little sister off the hook for dating the boy you had a crush on in seventh grade, and instead of trying to upstage her at all of her talents, write your own mythology. You have so much potential, if only you'd quit comparing yourself to your kid sister. It's demeaning.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 06, 2012, 06:57:41 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:21:15 AM
Shit I miss about the desert:
1. 118 degrees and the feeling of sun just everywhere. If New York cold can find small cracks in yr coat and freeze yr bones, the Phoenix sun can find its way onto parts of your skin you didn't even realize were exposed to light...like the backs of your thighs, covered by shorts.

No, now that I think about it, I will only ever live in Massachusetts, maybe TRONE, or Republic of Ireland.

Twid,
worships a solar deity, hates the sun.



Guess that makes me a fucked up Celtic Satanist. Or a Fomorianist or whatever.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2012, 06:58:31 AM
Quote4. February.

For about a week or so between the end of winter and the begining of spring, there were evenings that felt perfectly still and...idk how to explain except to say tepid outside.

3. Whimsical arrangements of saguaro and how they seemed to wave at me in such a friendly way as I drove to work in the morning. It was like being in a cartoon about the desert but for reals. Leaving PHX felt like leaving my little buddies behind.

That whole post is very yes, but these things I just wanted to tell you I know exactly what you're talking about.

Also, the cacti are blooming right now.  The desert is rioting, Nav.  You're missing all the pretty. :(
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:59:32 AM
I was never really able to enjoy Seattle. I just felt like it was expensive and not as nice as Vancouver, you know? But then, I've only been there twice and one of those doesn't count because I spent a couple of days sort of stuck and miserable after being denied entry at the Blaine overland crossing over some silliness.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 07:01:16 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 06, 2012, 06:58:31 AM
Quote4. February.

For about a week or so between the end of winter and the begining of spring, there were evenings that felt perfectly still and...idk how to explain except to say tepid outside.

3. Whimsical arrangements of saguaro and how they seemed to wave at me in such a friendly way as I drove to work in the morning. It was like being in a cartoon about the desert but for reals. Leaving PHX felt like leaving my little buddies behind.

That whole post is very yes, but these things I just wanted to tell you I know exactly what you're talking about.

Also, the cacti are blooming right now.  The desert is rioting, Nav.  You're missing all the pretty. :(

This made me feel less lonely for a minute. :) <3
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2012, 07:03:23 AM
It's getting to that point in seasons where you can be outside (in the shade, anyway, for safety reasons) and bake for hours, but you won't die of heat stroke.  It's wonderful.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2012, 07:06:01 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:59:32 AM
I was never really able to enjoy Seattle. I just felt like it was expensive and not as nice as Vancouver, you know? But then, I've only been there twice and one of those doesn't count because I spent a couple of days sort of stuck and miserable after being denied entry at the Blaine overland crossing over some silliness.

You want to know what's funny but true? Neither Portlanders nor Seattlites say much about Vancouver.

San Francisco, we'll talk about, sure.

San Jose and Vancouver? No fucking way.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 06, 2012, 07:06:30 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 06, 2012, 07:03:23 AM
It's getting to that point in seasons where you can be outside (in the shade, anyway, for safety reasons) and bake for hours, but you won't die of heat stroke.  It's wonderful.

Ireland it is.

Most stable climate I've ever been to. No colder than 30, no hotter than 80. Now I just have to learn what all that Celsius bullshit is about. Oh, and kph.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 07:08:17 AM
Yeah, see? I needz moar hot.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 06, 2012, 07:17:57 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 07:08:17 AM
Yeah, see? I needz moar hot.

I hate extreme temperatures. In New England you get hot and humid summers and cold winters. I look forward to spring and autumn.

This of course makes me a quintessential New Englander. We always have cause to complain because in Spring and Autumn we have either cold or why the fuck did I wear my coat in 76 degree weather. Oh right, it's dropping to 30 inexplicably  after 5 pm....

We wouldn't have it any other way.

If we can't complain, we cease being New Englanders.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 07:25:51 AM
I grew up on Long Island, so...

After a few years living in areas of the country where central a/c is a necessity, I was absolutely shocked by how much of a pussy I'd become, unable to tolerate 78 degree nights with nothing but an oscillatng fan.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 06, 2012, 07:33:31 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 07:25:51 AM
I grew up on Long Island, so...

After a few years living in areas of the country where central a/c is a necessity, I was absolutely shocked by how much of a pussy I'd become, unable to tolerate 78 degree nights with nothing but an oscillatng fan.

I've noticed that about Massholes that relocated to California. They suddenly can't take the cold. Not that we like it when we stay but they just can't take it anymore. We can deal with the yo-yo up here and complain constantly, but we can still deal.

Actually, if you recall, I confused you for a high school friend, who is basically the opposite of you except that she moved back to Louisiana. What are your thoughts on Southerners that move up North?
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 08:01:41 AM
One of two things:
1. They're either horribly homesick and immediately find a way to move back down as soon as possible--no amount of money is worth this.
Or
2. They become addicted to the New York lifestyle and take to it like a fish to water in a way I never even could and never, ever want to go back again.

There isn't any in-between for the Southern gal.

New Orleanians are different from "Southerners," though. Yes, N.O. is the south, technically, but it's also not in some ways that are infinitely important. Hell, even the coon asses of Houma are just different. Louisiana is a part of the US that refuses to accept it's not part of Europe and even its good ol' "country boys" have a sort of street savvy about them that sort of demands more of the world around them than your typical redneck. Coon asses aren't happy to eat things that came out of a jar, package, box or can unless they put it there in the first place.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 06, 2012, 08:09:34 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 08:01:41 AM
One of two things:
1. They're either horribly homesick and immediately find a way to move back down as soon as possible--no amount of money is worth this.
Or
2. They become addicted to the New York lifestyle and take to it like a fish to water in a way I never even could and never, ever want to go back again.

There isn't any in-between for the Southern gal.

New Orleanians are different from "Southerners," though. Yes, N.O. is the south, technically, but it's also not in some ways that are infinitely important. Hell, even the coon asses of Houma are just different. Louisiana is a part of the US that refuses to accept it's not part of Europe and even its good ol' "country boys" have a sort of street savvy about them that sort of demands more of the world around them than your typical redneck. Coon asses aren't happy to eat things that came out of a jar, package, box or can unless they put it there in the first place.

Interesting. My Cajun friend lived in NYC for awhile, and then moved back to where you are (also, take the mistaken identity as a high compliment). From what I understand it's that she spent her younger years in LA came here for high school because her parents moved here and got the fuck back to New Orleans as soon as she could. She's also of Polish extraction which makes it funnier, but I would never think of her as anything but a Louisianian. Never a Bostonian or a New Yorker. It was as much of her identity as my Irishness is to mine. (Gogira has a good take on the Irishness, btw, as was discussed over dinner. I confirmed evidence, but I'll leave it up to her to bring it up in the appropriate thread).
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Triple Zero on April 06, 2012, 03:55:38 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 06, 2012, 07:03:23 AM
It's getting to that point in seasons where you can be outside (in the shade, anyway, for safety reasons) and bake for hours, but you won't die of heat stroke.  It's wonderful.

I never really stopped to realize before how wonderful it is that I can be outside and the weather is not trying to kill me.

Pretty much the whole year. Except for maybe a handful nights in winter but you'd probably survive if you have a coat.

YAY FOR WEATHER THAT DOESN'T KILL YOU!!! :banana:
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 06, 2012, 04:33:14 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2012, 06:51:07 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:33:33 AM
Seattle: Not quite Canadian but not Portland either!

Seattle is quite unique and wonderful in its own right. But I think that when Portland became New York's big crush after it had been so in love with Seattle in the '90's, Seattle got jealous (not that it wanted New York anymore, it just couldn't believe that New York would choose Portland over it) and ever since then, the way Seattle feels better about itself is by putting Portland down. "Oh, well, I'm older, more grown-up, and more sophisticated than Portland!" "Everything Portland does, I do better, and I did it first!".

Seattle, it's about time you let go of this. You're better than that; instead of dancing around trying to divert attention from Portland, highlight what you're good at. It's time to let your little sister off the hook for dating the boy you had a crush on in seventh grade, and instead of trying to upstage her at all of her talents, write your own mythology. You have so much potential, if only you'd quit comparing yourself to your kid sister. It's demeaning.

:lulz:

It's been happening since even before PDX became the cool new "in" city. And the amusing thing is that it's a behavior that is almost solely engaged in by people who are, of course, not really from Seattle at all. People move there and get the "Seattle Freeze" from the local populace so they think a good way to prove their hardcore Seattlishness is to be obnoxiously vocal and intense in their civic support. I went through the phase as a teenager, thankfully, and got over it before I became a real person worthy of being paid any attention to by other real people.

The problem has been exacerbated in recent years as gentrification has taken over the inner core of the city and robbed it of many of its long-time indentifying characteristics and landmarks. One thing I LOVE about Portland is that nobody cares about some rich asshole from out-of-state who wants to remake the place in his image. And as far as I know, nobody even bothers trying that shit here. No Paul Allen building up South Lake Union into a high-tech yuppie cluster. No Kemper Freeman trying to build a walled city full of glitz and social immobility in Bellevue. No Howard Schultz yowling paeans to the glories of civic virtue out one side of his mouth while selling off some of the city's most beloved and identifiable treasures to people who just want to destroy them or relocate them. If Seattle is a wealthy real-estate developer's wet dream, PDX is that same developer's sweaty nightmare brought on by too much greasy korean food and inevitably ending in a bed-soaking shart.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 06, 2012, 04:38:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2012, 07:06:01 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:59:32 AM
I was never really able to enjoy Seattle. I just felt like it was expensive and not as nice as Vancouver, you know? But then, I've only been there twice and one of those doesn't count because I spent a couple of days sort of stuck and miserable after being denied entry at the Blaine overland crossing over some silliness.

You want to know what's funny but true? Neither Portlanders nor Seattlites say much about Vancouver.

San Francisco, we'll talk about, sure.

San Jose and Vancouver? No fucking way.

Vancouver is crap. Oh sure, it's pretty enough to look at, but it's all tourists and hippies and junkies and meth whores and not the cool interesting kind either. And it's got to be the most expensive city this side of Geneva. We don't talk about it because there's nothing about it that's interesting enough to make even derisive jokes about.

San Jose isn't even a real city. It's just the largest suburb in America.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 06, 2012, 04:38:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2012, 07:06:01 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:59:32 AM
I was never really able to enjoy Seattle. I just felt like it was expensive and not as nice as Vancouver, you know? But then, I've only been there twice and one of those doesn't count because I spent a couple of days sort of stuck and miserable after being denied entry at the Blaine overland crossing over some silliness.

You want to know what's funny but true? Neither Portlanders nor Seattlites say much about Vancouver.

San Francisco, we'll talk about, sure.

San Jose and Vancouver? No fucking way.

Vancouver is crap. Oh sure, it's pretty enough to look at, but it's all tourists and hippies and junkies and meth whores and not the cool interesting kind either. And it's got to be the most expensive city this side of Geneva. We don't talk about it because there's nothing about it that's interesting enough to make even derisive jokes about.

Wow, no. Agree to disagree.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 06, 2012, 05:46:35 PM
Twid, is there a thread somewhere on The Irishness I should be throwing my theory in?
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 06, 2012, 05:52:31 PM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 06, 2012, 04:38:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2012, 07:06:01 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:59:32 AM
I was never really able to enjoy Seattle. I just felt like it was expensive and not as nice as Vancouver, you know? But then, I've only been there twice and one of those doesn't count because I spent a couple of days sort of stuck and miserable after being denied entry at the Blaine overland crossing over some silliness.

You want to know what's funny but true? Neither Portlanders nor Seattlites say much about Vancouver.

San Francisco, we'll talk about, sure.

San Jose and Vancouver? No fucking way.

Vancouver is crap. Oh sure, it's pretty enough to look at, but it's all tourists and hippies and junkies and meth whores and not the cool interesting kind either. And it's got to be the most expensive city this side of Geneva. We don't talk about it because there's nothing about it that's interesting enough to make even derisive jokes about.

Wow, no. Agree to disagree.

I used to correspond with a lady who lived on Cordova. Said she had to check the clothes dryers for hypes and sometimes step over dead homeless people when she went out.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 06, 2012, 06:08:38 PM
Gogira- doks thread about st patricks day
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 06, 2012, 08:54:53 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 06, 2012, 05:52:31 PM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 06, 2012, 04:38:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2012, 07:06:01 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:59:32 AM
I was never really able to enjoy Seattle. I just felt like it was expensive and not as nice as Vancouver, you know? But then, I've only been there twice and one of those doesn't count because I spent a couple of days sort of stuck and miserable after being denied entry at the Blaine overland crossing over some silliness.

You want to know what's funny but true? Neither Portlanders nor Seattlites say much about Vancouver.

San Francisco, we'll talk about, sure.

San Jose and Vancouver? No fucking way.

Vancouver is crap. Oh sure, it's pretty enough to look at, but it's all tourists and hippies and junkies and meth whores and not the cool interesting kind either. And it's got to be the most expensive city this side of Geneva. We don't talk about it because there's nothing about it that's interesting enough to make even derisive jokes about.

Wow, no. Agree to disagree.

I used to correspond with a lady who lived on Cordova. Said she had to check the clothes dryers for hypes and sometimes step over dead homeless people when she went out.

Vancouver is basically Disneyland for Druggies. It's like every cartoonish western cliche about Amsterdam brought to life. And its suburbs are huge and dismal tracts of swampland filled in with uniform grey sprawl.

The rest of southwestern BC, however, is stunningly beautiful.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 06, 2012, 11:01:45 PM
The thing that kind of impressed me about Van was the level of showmanship the panhandlers resort to. I mean, I left a club one night and while we were standing outside figuring out what to do after, this guy lit something on top of his hat on FIRE. I didn't even realize he was a panhandler until I noticed that the group I was standing with were deliberately trying to ignore him. I felt like a buffoon, standing there, jaw open, eyes wide with this "sure, come on over and ask for money" look on my fayce.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2012, 10:29:18 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 06, 2012, 04:33:14 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2012, 06:51:07 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:33:33 AM
Seattle: Not quite Canadian but not Portland either!

Seattle is quite unique and wonderful in its own right. But I think that when Portland became New York's big crush after it had been so in love with Seattle in the '90's, Seattle got jealous (not that it wanted New York anymore, it just couldn't believe that New York would choose Portland over it) and ever since then, the way Seattle feels better about itself is by putting Portland down. "Oh, well, I'm older, more grown-up, and more sophisticated than Portland!" "Everything Portland does, I do better, and I did it first!".

Seattle, it's about time you let go of this. You're better than that; instead of dancing around trying to divert attention from Portland, highlight what you're good at. It's time to let your little sister off the hook for dating the boy you had a crush on in seventh grade, and instead of trying to upstage her at all of her talents, write your own mythology. You have so much potential, if only you'd quit comparing yourself to your kid sister. It's demeaning.

:lulz:

It's been happening since even before PDX became the cool new "in" city. And the amusing thing is that it's a behavior that is almost solely engaged in by people who are, of course, not really from Seattle at all. People move there and get the "Seattle Freeze" from the local populace so they think a good way to prove their hardcore Seattlishness is to be obnoxiously vocal and intense in their civic support. I went through the phase as a teenager, thankfully, and got over it before I became a real person worthy of being paid any attention to by other real people.

The problem has been exacerbated in recent years as gentrification has taken over the inner core of the city and robbed it of many of its long-time indentifying characteristics and landmarks. One thing I LOVE about Portland is that nobody cares about some rich asshole from out-of-state who wants to remake the place in his image. And as far as I know, nobody even bothers trying that shit here. No Paul Allen building up South Lake Union into a high-tech yuppie cluster. No Kemper Freeman trying to build a walled city full of glitz and social immobility in Bellevue. No Howard Schultz yowling paeans to the glories of civic virtue out one side of his mouth while selling off some of the city's most beloved and identifiable treasures to people who just want to destroy them or relocate them. If Seattle is a wealthy real-estate developer's wet dream, PDX is that same developer's sweaty nightmare brought on by too much greasy korean food and inevitably ending in a bed-soaking shart.

Not only that, but have you been downtown lately? I avoid going downtown if at all possible, but over the last decade or so all the identical glitzy chain stores and restaurants moved in, making it look pretty much like every downtown ever. Then, yesterday, I was there for a class, and HOLY SHIT

It's almost starting to look like my childhood Portland! Those shiny clean new businesses are starting to take on the shabby wear and grime of budgets with no room for maintenance, and over by the Justice building there's some kind of shiny dystopian monstrosity that I can't even comprehend, apparently being built with Federal renewal funds.

Soon, perhaps the chains will close, and it will be the boarded-up downtown I remember from my youth.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2012, 10:35:37 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 06, 2012, 04:38:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2012, 07:06:01 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:59:32 AM
I was never really able to enjoy Seattle. I just felt like it was expensive and not as nice as Vancouver, you know? But then, I've only been there twice and one of those doesn't count because I spent a couple of days sort of stuck and miserable after being denied entry at the Blaine overland crossing over some silliness.

You want to know what's funny but true? Neither Portlanders nor Seattlites say much about Vancouver.

San Francisco, we'll talk about, sure.

San Jose and Vancouver? No fucking way.

Vancouver is crap. Oh sure, it's pretty enough to look at, but it's all tourists and hippies and junkies and meth whores and not the cool interesting kind either. And it's got to be the most expensive city this side of Geneva. We don't talk about it because there's nothing about it that's interesting enough to make even derisive jokes about.

San Jose isn't even a real city. It's just the largest suburb in America.

So is LA, though. That's just how California rolls.

San Jose actually does have a nice downtown, but the suburbs are so epic that actually finding it is a bit of an ordeal.

I really like Vancouver. There's a lot going on all the time and the restaurants are plentiful, affordable, and mostly excellent. Plus beaches and quick access to wilderness.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2012, 10:36:48 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 06, 2012, 05:52:31 PM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 06, 2012, 04:38:43 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 06, 2012, 07:06:01 AM
Quote from: navkat on April 06, 2012, 06:59:32 AM
I was never really able to enjoy Seattle. I just felt like it was expensive and not as nice as Vancouver, you know? But then, I've only been there twice and one of those doesn't count because I spent a couple of days sort of stuck and miserable after being denied entry at the Blaine overland crossing over some silliness.

You want to know what's funny but true? Neither Portlanders nor Seattlites say much about Vancouver.

San Francisco, we'll talk about, sure.

San Jose and Vancouver? No fucking way.

Vancouver is crap. Oh sure, it's pretty enough to look at, but it's all tourists and hippies and junkies and meth whores and not the cool interesting kind either. And it's got to be the most expensive city this side of Geneva. We don't talk about it because there's nothing about it that's interesting enough to make even derisive jokes about.

Wow, no. Agree to disagree.

I used to correspond with a lady who lived on Cordova. Said she had to check the clothes dryers for hypes and sometimes step over dead homeless people when she went out.

That's just Canada.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2012, 10:37:44 PM
Victoria is much nicer though.



Maybe a little too nice.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 08, 2012, 02:24:33 AM
Victoria is nice because it wants to be FRIENDS with you Nigel. Don't you want to be FRIENDS?

Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 08, 2012, 02:33:41 AM
How is this thread now about Northern communists?
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2012, 03:57:49 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 08, 2012, 02:24:33 AM
Victoria is nice because it wants to be FRIENDS with you Nigel. Don't you want to be FRIENDS?

All I can imagine when I think about Victoria is BEES.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2012, 06:25:16 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 08, 2012, 03:57:49 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 08, 2012, 02:24:33 AM
Victoria is nice because it wants to be FRIENDS with you Nigel. Don't you want to be FRIENDS?

All I can imagine when I think about Victoria is BEES.

(http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Oprahs-Bees.gif)
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2012, 09:32:36 AM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on April 08, 2012, 06:25:16 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 08, 2012, 03:57:49 AM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 08, 2012, 02:24:33 AM
Victoria is nice because it wants to be FRIENDS with you Nigel. Don't you want to be FRIENDS?

All I can imagine when I think about Victoria is BEES.

(http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Oprahs-Bees.gif)

:lol: Yes.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 08, 2012, 10:32:22 AM
I sorta wanna take a road trip now.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2012, 04:31:05 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 08, 2012, 10:32:22 AM
I sorta wanna take a road trip now.

If you go to Victoria, you might like to visit here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butchart_Gardens
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2012, 04:50:19 PM
I don't even understand what's going on!
(http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0906/epi-pen-epi-pen-demotivational-poster-1246049670.jpg)
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 09, 2012, 05:22:26 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 08, 2012, 02:33:41 AM
How is this thread now about Northern communists?
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 09, 2012, 05:59:48 PM
Hey man, you started talking about The City. THE City can't possibly be contained in ONE city.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 09, 2012, 06:01:01 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 09, 2012, 05:59:48 PM
Hey man, you started talking about The City. THE City can't possibly be contained in ONE city.

The City is the fucking dusty pressure cooker in the desert somewhere.

All those other Cities are a different story.   They are accurately shown on maps, for example.  Tucson sorta wanders around.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 09, 2012, 06:28:20 PM
Nah, it's like one of those huge fungal colonies that grow in old forests, where there's miles of it underground but you only see a few shoots sticking up out of the forest floor. That's how The City is. Just little nodules sticking up in places, living in a symbiotic/parasitic relationship with those humans.

But the humans have taught The City some things too. Like how to specialize. So now some of the different nodules serve different purposes. Portland, for example, is a mouth. Everyone keeps moving here, but the population data doesn't reflect the increase that would be necessary given how many people you know or know of that have moved to Portland.

What is Tucson's function?

Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 09, 2012, 06:28:55 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 09, 2012, 06:28:20 PM
Nah, it's like one of those huge fungal colonies that grow in old forests, where there's miles of it underground but you only see a few shoots sticking up out of the forest floor. That's how The City is. Just little nodules sticking up in places, living in a symbiotic/parasitic relationship with those humans.

But the humans have taught The City some things too. Like how to specialize. So now some of the different nodules serve different purposes. Portland, for example, is a mouth. Everyone keeps moving here, but the population data doesn't reflect the increase that would be necessary given how many people you know or know of that have moved to Portland.

What is Tucson's function?

It's the snot.
Title: Re: Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 09, 2012, 07:13:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 09, 2012, 06:28:55 PM
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on April 09, 2012, 06:28:20 PM
Nah, it's like one of those huge fungal colonies that grow in old forests, where there's miles of it underground but you only see a few shoots sticking up out of the forest floor. That's how The City is. Just little nodules sticking up in places, living in a symbiotic/parasitic relationship with those humans.

But the humans have taught The City some things too. Like how to specialize. So now some of the different nodules serve different purposes. Portland, for example, is a mouth. Everyone keeps moving here, but the population data doesn't reflect the increase that would be necessary given how many people you know or know of that have moved to Portland.

What is Tucson's function?

It's the snot.

Houston is the kidneys. It pisses out the native Houstonians and more people move in.