...and I give you the Official Newage Solution™.
GO!
WARNING: GNASHING OF TEETH MAY OCCUR.
there's not enough time in the day.
Quote from: Elder Iptuous on July 13, 2012, 10:42:58 PM
there's not enough time in the day.
Clearly you do not have a full understanding of time.
As Einstein showed, time does not go in a straight line. It's true that, as a 3D being, you are limited to experiencing time as a force outside of your control. But once you move into 4 dimension time will be experienced in the same way that, say, a rock is experienced. You will be able to move time, change it, go to any point along it's path. Obviously not a straight path :)
To experience time in that way you have to connect to your Higher Self, which is always in that place, just waiting for you to look up and and get there. In fact, there are several beings of a higher order constantly guiding you to that other place. Meditation works. Do that. Meditate. I SAID DO IT.
GOD DAMMIT. YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU HAVE TO BE THE ESSENCE OF CALM. YOU HAVE TO MAKE PEACE WITH YOURSELF YOU STUPID BASTARD. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS 'LOOK'. JESUS. SHIT.
I CAN'T CARRY YOUR FUCKING HAND ALL THE TIME.
Namaste.
Various fluids and byproducts seep out of my body at inopportune times. How fix?
Eating too many Sour Patch Kids burns my tongue and makes my teefs sensitive.
Quote from: Phox, Mistress of Many Names on July 13, 2012, 11:21:42 PM
Various fluids and byproducts seep out of my body at inopportune times. How fix?
There is nothing to "fix". This is perfectly natural. The fact that you notice these secretions means you are very in-tune with your body.
Our bodies expel toxins in all kinds of unpredictable ways. Seeping wounds that come out of nowhere. Sometimes, after hours of deep meditation, I will acquire what Alleopathic Medicine calls 'bed-sores'. But I knew that they were merely negative energy patterns becoming free and exiting though somewhere near my Root Chakra.
Your desire to "fix" this "problem" stems from a shyness and anxiety of other people seeing your inner demons spill out into the light of day. This is very similar to the reaction that occurs once you give up unnecessary things like "bathing" and deodorant". This is easily "fixed" by confronting your fears.
Try intentionally releasing bodily fluids in very public places until you are free from the desire to attach meaning to the reactions of others.
Namaste.
I've been known to let the beat...........drop!
Quote from: Suu on July 13, 2012, 11:25:26 PM
Eating too many Sour Patch Kids burns my tongue and makes my teefs sensitive.
Clearly sugar must be avoided at all costs to ensure your body's vibrations is in-tune with the natural world. Humans aren't meant to process sugar at all. Plus it puts a halt to all of your body's cancer fighting ability.
DID YOU KNOW THIS
FACT?: One Snickers bar stops your immune system from functioning for one hour?
Then again, if your reach the level of Mastery over yourself you will be able to undo the harm sugar poses to you body and your soul before it does any lasting damage. But that takes years of study and dedication to Awakening.
Also, your teeth hurting are a manifestation of poor communication.
Consume nothing but vitamin C instead, and when you feel your colon blowing toxins out of your ass at one mile per minute you will feel those communication issues coming to light.
Quote from: Gen. Disregard on July 13, 2012, 11:33:20 PM
I've been known to let the beat...........drop!
I know you mean this as a joke, but it brings up a good point.
This is another those "not really a problem" problems.
Sometimes you let the beat drop. It's okay. That's why they put erasers on pencils.
And besides, it is the silence in the music that makes it music. Who is to say when the beat
should drop.
The important thing is to not get lost in the shuffle.
My country is getting really, really hostile towards Roma people. :sad:
What do?
Mon dieu! It seems zet today i em Fronsh. How do i, how you say, go beck to being obnoxiously Irlandais?
I have testicular cancer. The doctors amputate in a week.
Mais non! Les docteurs are going to cull-de-sack? C'est terrible mon frere! Qu'elle dommage!
How to get to AMERIKA on a budget. How do.
Do like mon pere. Come to les etats unis for construction work marry bostonienne quickly vite vite! Have des enfants. Get divorce 23 years later go back to norway.
Summer work. Always turns into le job pour ma famille.
Monsieur alty- le tren back to bostohh... C'est tres late. Tell me la magique to make back chez moi.
Quote from: Bruce Twiddleton on July 14, 2012, 03:46:57 PM
Mais non! Les docteurs are going to cull-de-sack? C'est terrible mon frere! Qu'elle dommage!
:spittake:
"The Secret" doesn't work. I've been sitting here visualizing neat stuff and writing in my fucking gratitude journal for ages now AND I CAN'T EVEN GET A GODDAMN SANDWICH.
Why does the Universe hate me?
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 14, 2012, 10:52:24 PM
"The Secret" doesn't work. I've been sitting here visualizing neat stuff and writing in my fucking gratitude journal for ages now AND I CAN'T EVEN GET A GODDAMN SANDWICH.
Why does the Universe hate me?
:lulz:
Quote from: Lenin/McCarthy on July 14, 2012, 02:12:27 PM
My country is getting really, really hostile towards Roma people. :sad:
What do?
Ordinarily, I would suggest blaring Gogol Bordello into the faces of average citizens at such high volumes that it shatters their ability to move or think.
HOWEVER, the Official Newage Solution (TM) is:
Those Roma people
chose this life for themselves. They may or may not have chosen to become roaming no-goodniks, but before they were physically born into this mundane universe they chose to experience the lesson of oppression. Much like African slaves or cancer victims choose their lessons.
What is it like to be beaten by your spouse?
What is it like to be treated like some kind of subhuman degenerate?
What is it like to be a billionaire?
These are all different human experiences that must be gone through before the soul is allowed to reach the next level of existence.
Don't be sad for them! They are closer to the salvation of their eternal soul!
Namaste
Quote from: Bruce Twiddleton on July 14, 2012, 03:25:45 PM
Mon dieu! It seems zet today i em Fronsh. How do i, how you say, go beck to being obnoxiously Irlandais?
Now this is a serious problem.
While most of us choose and plan out every aspect of our existence before our physical birth, there are some who fail the lessons they learn over and over. These people are eventually reincarnated as French. When they fail horribly at that they are reincarnated as Irish.
I can only assume that you have (finger-quotes)crossed the proverbial streams (finger-quotes).
Perhaps your soul is attempting to break free of its bonds. Keep this up. If you continue on this Path you can expect to become a Haitian Pentecostal in no time. From there, skies the limit.
Namaste.
Quote from: Prince Glittersnatch III on July 14, 2012, 03:40:21 PM
I have testicular cancer. The doctors amputate in a week.
SPLENDID!
Did you know many aboriginal cultures had individuals known as "Two-Spirits"?
Losing your testicles, when you're a man, is one of the best things that can happen to you. Without those troublesome appendages (which cause wars, famine, violence, and hatred the world over) you will be much more free to cross into the spirit world.
I recommend, after the surgery, go to a lake or riverbed. Pick up a stick and scratch at your perineum until it is bloody and raw. Then create a salve from local foliage and herbs and place it on your new Womanhood.
Beware of rednecks in pickup trucks.*
Namaste.
*OHSI-was that racist?
Quote from: Alty on July 14, 2012, 11:52:31 PM
Quote from: Prince Glittersnatch III on July 14, 2012, 03:40:21 PM
I have testicular cancer. The doctors amputate in a week.
SPLENDID!
Did you know many aboriginal cultures had individuals known as "Two-Spirits"?
Losing your testicles, when you're a man, is one of the best things that can happen to you. Without those troublesome appendages (which cause wars, famine, violence, and hatred the world over) you will be much more free to cross into the spirit world.
I recommend, after the surgery, go to a lake or riverbed. Pick up a stick and scratch at your perineum until it is bloody and raw. Then create a salve from local foliage and herbs and place it on your new Womanhood.
Beware of rednecks in pickup trucks.*
Namaste.
*OHSI-was that racist?
When I first clicked over to this tab, I had forgotten what it was and I was SO CONFUSED. :lulz:
Quote from: Alty on July 14, 2012, 11:52:31 PM
Quote from: Prince Glittersnatch III on July 14, 2012, 03:40:21 PM
I have testicular cancer. The doctors amputate in a week.
SPLENDID!
Did you know many aboriginal cultures had individuals known as "Two-Spirits"?
Losing your testicles, when you're a man, is one of the best things that can happen to you. Without those troublesome appendages (which cause wars, famine, violence, and hatred the world over) you will be much more free to cross into the spirit world.
I recommend, after the surgery, go to a lake or riverbed. Pick up a stick and scratch at your perineum until it is bloody and raw. Then create a salve from local foliage and herbs and place it on your new Womanhood.
Beware of rednecks in pickup trucks.*
Namaste.
*OHSI-was that racist?
:lulz:
Quote from: Alty on July 14, 2012, 11:52:31 PM
Quote from: Prince Glittersnatch III on July 14, 2012, 03:40:21 PM
I have testicular cancer. The doctors amputate in a week.
SPLENDID!
Did you know many aboriginal cultures had individuals known as "Two-Spirits"?
Losing your testicles, when you're a man, is one of the best things that can happen to you. Without those troublesome appendages (which cause wars, famine, violence, and hatred the world over) you will be much more free to cross into the spirit world.
I recommend, after the surgery, go to a lake or riverbed. Pick up a stick and scratch at your perineum until it is bloody and raw. Then create a salve from local foliage and herbs and place it on your new Womanhood.
Beware of rednecks in pickup trucks.*
Namaste.
*OHSI-was that racist?
But please do remember that mainstream doctors are TEH EVHUL. Amputate them yourself, or get your homeopathic surgeon/witch doctor/quantum crystal energy field therapist of choice to do it.
I recently met my small-grape-sized, flesh colored, somewhat firm to the touch, external hemorrhoid that almost talked me into to going to the ER last night. I was having an intense conversation with him, trying to explain that I already have too many ER bills and he said he would tell me the meaning of the universe if my girlfriend would kick me really hard in the butthole.
I was patting him down with witch hazel today and he hardly said a word. Every time I cough or sneeze he's like, "what's up, bro," but I thought we knew each other better than that. Do you think he's lying about the meaning of the universe, is the offer still on the table, was the sitz bath a faux pas?
Quote from: Lenin/McCarthy on July 15, 2012, 06:37:39 PM
Quote from: Alty on July 14, 2012, 11:52:31 PM
Quote from: Prince Glittersnatch III on July 14, 2012, 03:40:21 PM
I have testicular cancer. The doctors amputate in a week.
SPLENDID!
Did you know many aboriginal cultures had individuals known as "Two-Spirits"?
Losing your testicles, when you're a man, is one of the best things that can happen to you. Without those troublesome appendages (which cause wars, famine, violence, and hatred the world over) you will be much more free to cross into the spirit world.
I recommend, after the surgery, go to a lake or riverbed. Pick up a stick and scratch at your perineum until it is bloody and raw. Then create a salve from local foliage and herbs and place it on your new Womanhood.
Beware of rednecks in pickup trucks.*
Namaste.
*OHSI-was that racist?
But please do remember that mainstream doctors are TEH EVHUL. Amputate them yourself, or get your homeopathic surgeon/witch doctor/quantum crystal energy field therapist of choice to do it.
Dont forget a homeopathic anesthesiologist.