Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:20:47 PM

Title: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:20:47 PM
State your sins or lack thereof, and I shall dispense penance.

You miserable bastards.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: LMNO on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I danced the Gay Wango-Tango thrice last weekend.

I took the name of Roger in vain, fivefold.

I did not feed the troll.

I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

I accidentally the bourbon.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

You BASTARD.

You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 06, 2012, 04:57:40 PM
Bless me reverend for i have sinned. I have been negligent in the ways of our lady. I have not done any acts of discord in some time and i am long overdue for a pilgrimmage to providence (which will soon be rectified).
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 05:04:24 PM
Quote from: ho|ist on December 06, 2012, 04:57:40 PM
Bless me reverend for i have sinned. I have been negligent in the ways of our lady. I have not done any acts of discord in some time and i am long overdue for a pilgrimmage to providence (which will soon be rectified).

When it's rectified, come get your penance.  You can't ask for penance WHILE YOU'RE STILL SINNING.  You have to STOP sinning first, THEN ask.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 06, 2012, 05:37:52 PM
I stand before you, a miserable sinner. Bless me, Reverend, and may Our Lady intercede on my behalf for forgiveness of my apathy.

I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.

I have also failed to upper deck said toilets.

I have been sober, lo, since Nov. 29. Not because I needed to quit. Because I just don't feel like it.

I haven't told anybody "fuck you" in two days.

I have failed in my civic duty here at PD by not making a holist alt.







Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 05:40:50 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 06, 2012, 05:37:52 PM
I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.

You will draw the Transmet 3-eyed smiley :transmet: in no less than one public bathroom per week for the next 3 months.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 06, 2012, 05:43:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 05:40:50 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 06, 2012, 05:37:52 PM
I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.

You will draw the Transmet 3-eyed smiley :transmet: in no less than one public bathroom per week for the next 3 months.

Bless you, Reverend. Thy will be done.  :lol:

I feel like I got off easy...
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: LMNO on December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

You BASTARD.

You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.

You, sir, are PROPHET.

It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight.  WHOOPS goes the bourbon!
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:04:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

You BASTARD.

You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.

You, sir, are PROPHET.

It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight.  WHOOPS goes the bourbon!

Quorum. 

It's like I don't even know you anymore.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on December 06, 2012, 07:08:56 PM
BLESS ME FUHRER FOR I HAZ SINNED!

It's been my whole life since my last confession (perhaps even longer - I wasn't there)

I've had impure thoughts. Exclusively. I have no intention of changing this anytime soon.
I have lusted. Again, pretty much constantly, ever since my junk started getting fuzzy.
I have nicked stuff, often when legal means of acquisition would have been less hassle. Just as a matter of principle.
I have borne false witness.
I have taken pretty much everyone's name in vain.
I've checked off most of the deadly sins, on a daily basis, except the thing with the ox, which I'm planning on getting round to but, y'know, gloth and sluttony...

I await my penance with a raging hardon, in the back of a stolen Audi, snorting coke off a strippers ass and singing the national anthem, backwards
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Juana on December 06, 2012, 07:11:39 PM
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:12:17 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 06, 2012, 07:08:56 PM
BLESS ME FUHRER FOR I HAZ SINNED!

It's been my whole life since my last confession (perhaps even longer - I wasn't there)

DO NOT MAKE THE CONFESSOR LAUGH.  :crankey:

QuoteI've had impure thoughts. Exclusively. I have no intention of changing this anytime soon.
I have lusted. Again, pretty much constantly, ever since my junk started getting fuzzy.
I have nicked stuff, often when legal means of acquisition would have been less hassle. Just as a matter of principle.
I have borne false witness.
I have taken pretty much everyone's name in vain.
I've checked off most of the deadly sins, on a daily basis, except the thing with the ox, which I'm planning on getting round to but, y'know, gloth and sluttony...

I await my penance with a raging hardon, in the back of a stolen Audi, snorting coke off a strippers ass and singing the national anthem, backwards

For what?  That's an exemplary life right there.

Have you perchance prank-called Maggie Thatcher?
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:12:55 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 06, 2012, 07:11:39 PM
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.

NOBODY IS PURE EXCEPT JESUS SOME GUY IN MAINE.   :argh!:
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:18:28 PM
I spent the entire day in an open plan office reading through the past week of FARK. I'm not even sorry.

I've spent the past week calling an obnoxious Auditor "Bilbo". He is paying me for this privilege. 

I spent my lunch hitting a car with a crowbar.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 06, 2012, 07:19:06 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:12:55 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 06, 2012, 07:11:39 PM
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.

NOBODY IS PURE EXCEPT JESUS SOME GUY IN MAINE.   :argh!:


dildos.sparklyones
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:19:49 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:18:28 PM
I spent the entire day in an open plan office reading through the past week of FARK. I'm not even sorry.

I've spent the past week calling an obnoxious Auditor "Bilbo". He is paying me for this privilege. 

I spent my lunch hitting a car with a crowbar.

THREAD IS FOR SINS.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:20:59 PM
OR LACK THEREOF.

YOU MISERABLE BASTARD!
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:21:32 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:20:59 PM
OR LACK THEREOF.

YOU MISERABLE BASTARD!

GIVE ME A SIN TO ABSOLVE OR I'LL SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 06, 2012, 07:23:54 PM
OH GREAT AND HAIRIVLE TYRANT I FORGIVE YOUR FOR MY SINS NOW I BESEECH EAT THOU TO  PENANACIFATE ME. I HAVE INDULGED IN HIPSTERISM BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WRITTEN PAPERS THAT INVOLVE IRONY AND DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF META. I HAVE NOT TROLLELLED MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:24:08 PM
To give you a sin, I'd have to be sorry.


Have you seen the people round here? Fuck 'em. They deserve it and worse. I'm doing the good work reverend I'm sure of it.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:25:12 PM
Quote from: H0list on December 06, 2012, 07:23:54 PM
OH GREAT AND HAIRIVLE TYRANT I FORGIVE YOUR FOR MY SINS NOW I BESEECH EAT THOU TO  PENANACIFATE ME. I HAVE INDULGED IN HIPSTERISM BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WRITTEN PAPERS THAT INVOLVE IRONY AND DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF META. I HAVE NOT TROLLELLED MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS.

You will bring up the "Phillipine-American War"  (Wiki/google it.  Bring a barf bag) in your history class, right after the most jingoistic member of the class gets done smarming.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:25:48 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:24:08 PM
To give you a sin, I'd have to be sorry.


Have you seen the people round here? Fuck 'em. They deserve it and worse. I'm doing the good work reverend I'm sure of it.

Yes, which is why I'm telling you to CHANGE THE SUBJECT and talk about BAD SHIT you did.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on December 06, 2012, 07:27:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:12:17 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 06, 2012, 07:08:56 PM
BLESS ME FUHRER FOR I HAZ SINNED!

It's been my whole life since my last confession (perhaps even longer - I wasn't there)

DO NOT MAKE THE CONFESSOR LAUGH.  :crankey:

QuoteI've had impure thoughts. Exclusively. I have no intention of changing this anytime soon.
I have lusted. Again, pretty much constantly, ever since my junk started getting fuzzy.
I have nicked stuff, often when legal means of acquisition would have been less hassle. Just as a matter of principle.
I have borne false witness.
I have taken pretty much everyone's name in vain.
I've checked off most of the deadly sins, on a daily basis, except the thing with the ox, which I'm planning on getting round to but, y'know, gloth and sluttony...

I await my penance with a raging hardon, in the back of a stolen Audi, snorting coke off a strippers ass and singing the national anthem, backwards

For what?  That's an exemplary life right there.

Have you perchance prank-called Maggie Thatcher?

Well, when I said "I await my penance" what I actually meant was "I'm close to blacking out"

Prank called Thatcher? I'll go one better. I was Thatcher, for about two years, as a result of a drunken coup, which was the culmination of my cousins stag week and seemed like a good idea at the time. We felt guilty after a while and let her out the basement and returned her wig. She never mentioned it on account of we still have the video of what she did with the St Bernard. Of her own volition, I might add. The look on that dogs face will haunt me til the day I've drank enough to forget.

Remember when Britain and the US were getting all cosy when Maggie and Reagan were spending a lot of time together? Yeah, well, all I'm saying is - I still have those Y-fronts  :wink:
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 06, 2012, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:25:12 PM
Quote from: H0list on December 06, 2012, 07:23:54 PM
OH GREAT AND HAIRIVLE TYRANT I FORGIVE YOUR FOR MY SINS NOW I BESEECH EAT THOU TO  PENANACIFATE ME. I HAVE INDULGED IN HIPSTERISM BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WRITTEN PAPERS THAT INVOLVE IRONY AND DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF META. I HAVE NOT TROLLELLED MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS.

You will bring up the "Phillipine-American War"  (Wiki/google it.  Bring a barf bag) in your history class, right after the most jingoistic member of the class gets done smarming.

CLAS IS OVER. NO MORE HISTORY FOR ME. EVER EVER AGAIN.

There also were no jingos in my class.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:32:58 PM
I was just here for the penance really. What does a guy have to do to get some good old time hosewhipping in the streets with bells and placards handed out?

I held up my end. Get to it.

I'm expecting some BIBLICAL shit. None of the naughty step bullshit give me an old testament smiting now
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:33:21 PM
Quote from: H0list on December 06, 2012, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:25:12 PM
Quote from: H0list on December 06, 2012, 07:23:54 PM
OH GREAT AND HAIRIVLE TYRANT I FORGIVE YOUR FOR MY SINS NOW I BESEECH EAT THOU TO  PENANACIFATE ME. I HAVE INDULGED IN HIPSTERISM BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WRITTEN PAPERS THAT INVOLVE IRONY AND DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF META. I HAVE NOT TROLLELLED MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS.

You will bring up the "Phillipine-American War"  (Wiki/google it.  Bring a barf bag) in your history class, right after the most jingoistic member of the class gets done smarming.

CLAS IS OVER. NO MORE HISTORY FOR ME. EVER EVER AGAIN.

There also were no jingos in my class.

Oh.  Then you're fucked.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:34:02 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:32:58 PM
I was just here for the penance really. What does a guy have to do to get some good old time hosewhipping in the streets with bells and placards handed out?

I held up my end. Get to it.

I'm expecting some BIBLICAL shit. None of the naughty step bullshit give me an old testament smiting now

You will duel holist (the real one) to the DEATH, using nothing but passive-aggressive behavior.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:38:12 PM
I accept.


I'm going to be so passive-aggressive, I'm not even going to look at the pathetic shitbag.

Reverend, please inform Holist I'm not talking to him. Her. It. Whatever.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:39:12 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:38:12 PM
I accept.


I'm going to be so passive, I'm not even going to look at the pathetic shitbag.

You need to use the other stuff, too?
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:41:21 PM
I realised this.

Forgive me reverend for I have been relaxing in the Jamaican fashion and still type away.

It's lovely in this hammock.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: LMNO on December 06, 2012, 08:00:16 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:04:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

You BASTARD.

You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.

You, sir, are PROPHET.

It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight.  WHOOPS goes the bourbon!

Quorum. 

It's like I don't even know you anymore.

Tack that on to my ongoing sin count.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 08:30:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 08:00:16 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:04:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.

You BASTARD.

You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.

You, sir, are PROPHET.

It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight.  WHOOPS goes the bourbon!

Quorum. 

It's like I don't even know you anymore.

Tack that on to my ongoing sin count.

Mangling the English language gets you sent to normal (boring) hell.  Do you want that?
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: LMNO on December 06, 2012, 08:34:04 PM
What if I really mangle it?











...Wait, that would make me Horab.  DO NOT WANT.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 08:36:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 08:34:04 PM
What if I really mangle it?











...Wait, that would make me Horab.  DO NOT WANT.

Yes, the punishment is sort of built in on that one.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 06, 2012, 09:56:46 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 06, 2012, 07:11:39 PM
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.

Did you even date an African woman once?
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 06, 2012, 09:57:59 PM
My sin is that I failed to be cynical enough to keep up with reality.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Dildo Argentino on December 06, 2012, 10:06:29 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:34:02 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:32:58 PM
I was just here for the penance really. What does a guy have to do to get some good old time hosewhipping in the streets with bells and placards handed out?

I held up my end. Get to it.

I'm expecting some BIBLICAL shit. None of the naughty step bullshit give me an old testament smiting now

You will duel holist (the real one) to the DEATH, using nothing but passive-aggressive behavior.

I can't be duelled to the death. Weaselly, that way. Duelling me to the death is like drying the ocean with a sieve.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: leln on December 06, 2012, 11:23:36 PM
Confess? I suppose I can, I'm temporarily at liberty from classes.

-I gave Richter a copy of Incubus (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059311/?ref_=fn_al_tt_3) for his birthday.
-I had way too much fun chatting with my classmates this semester.
-I accidentally the last half glass of one of the bottles of my dad's birthday wine.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Suu on December 07, 2012, 01:10:55 AM
I sit on Facebook and Peedee during class rather than taking notes.

I just ate Bambi, even though  I'm considering going vegetarian because of my digestion issues.

I'm a week late with washing my bedsheets.


Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on December 07, 2012, 02:25:47 AM
My company hired a poor foreigner who was unaccustomed to our heathen ways, and yesterday he asked me if it was a health hazard to sit so close to a couple of network switches. He was concerned that they may be "spreading rays," which I assume is some kind of ESL version of "emitting radiation." I told him yes there is a minor risk of low sperm count, but that I had a solution. So I ran to the break room and fashioned him a tin foil hat, which he wore for the rest of the day.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest.  publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans.  (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache

Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition

Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident

Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 07, 2012, 04:27:45 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest.  publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans.  (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache

Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition

Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident

Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent

:lulz:
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: LMNO on December 07, 2012, 03:34:56 PM
ROGER, YOU HORRIBLE BASTARD PERSON.

I accidentally'd all the bourbon last night, and now am two and a half hours late at work, and my liver wants to kill me.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 03:37:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 07, 2012, 03:34:56 PM
ROGER, YOU HORRIBLE BASTARD PERSON.

I accidentally'd all the bourbon last night, and now am two and a half hours late at work, and my liver wants to kill me.

But can't you just feel the Holiness™ in your guts and sweating out of every pore?  And that's not "horrible fatigue" you're feeling, it's the added weight of RIGHTEOUSNESS on your shoulders.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: LMNO on December 07, 2012, 04:01:33 PM
When I was younger, I used to think hangovers let you know you were still alive.

These days, I know they're simply evidence of utter stupidity.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 04:07:15 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 07, 2012, 04:01:33 PM
When I was younger, I used to think hangovers let you know you were still alive.

These days, I know they're simply evidence of utter stupidity.

I mostly quit drinking when the drunk stopped being worth the hangover.  I DO occasionally drink, usually when the hate builds up to critical levels, and then I need 2 days to fully recover...At which time I curse myself for a fool and lay off for another 6 months.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest.  publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans.  (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache

Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition

Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident

Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent


Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest.  publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans.  (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache

Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition

Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident

Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent


Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.

Yeah, but that's not a sin.

The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Bu🤠ns on December 07, 2012, 05:57:39 PM
The kids were trying to scare my son at school the other day by telling him spooky stories about death and broken necks and other assorted (rather phoned in, tbh) horror.  It bugged him a bit and, being the devoted father that I am, decided to find a better story for him to use to scare the kids back. 

I read him A Very Tucson Christmas (http://http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,27569.0).  I told him to place special emphasis on the ripping of the skin of naughty boys and girls who like to frighten other boys and girls. 

"Dad?" he asked.

"Yes, my boy?" I replied.

"I don't think I liked that story very much."   :sad:
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 06:09:05 PM
Quote from: Bu☆ns on December 07, 2012, 05:57:39 PM
The kids were trying to scare my son at school the other day by telling him spooky stories about death and broken necks and other assorted (rather phoned in, tbh) horror.  It bugged him a bit and, being the devoted father that I am, decided to find a better story for him to use to scare the kids back. 

I read him A Very Tucson Christmas (http://http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,27569.0).  I told him to place special emphasis on the ripping of the skin of naughty boys and girls who like to frighten other boys and girls. 

"Dad?" he asked.

"Yes, my boy?" I replied.

"I don't think I liked that story very much."   :sad:

Congratulations.  Your son isn't a whackjob.  :lulz:
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: LMNO on December 07, 2012, 07:47:46 PM
Yeah, so my penance kicked my ass so hard, I decided to leave, and go work from home. 

The main problem?  It's Friday, Team Vodka's coming to the house for drinks, and then....





...say it with me...















TO THE GAY BAR.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 07:48:41 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 07, 2012, 07:47:46 PM
Yeah, so my penance kicked my ass so hard, I decided to leave, and go work from home. 

The main problem?  It's Friday, Team Vodka's coming to the house for drinks, and then....





...say it with me...















TO THE GAY BAR.


Thursday night partying exists to put a damper on Friday night partying.

But since they're all SATURDAY NIGHT anyway, no harm done.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: LMNO on December 07, 2012, 07:52:19 PM
Troofpaste: You're brushing with it.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 07:54:31 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 07, 2012, 07:52:19 PM
Troofpaste: You're brushing with it.

No.  It's somewhere ELSE.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 07, 2012, 09:40:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 06:09:05 PM
Quote from: Bu☆ns on December 07, 2012, 05:57:39 PM
The kids were trying to scare my son at school the other day by telling him spooky stories about death and broken necks and other assorted (rather phoned in, tbh) horror.  It bugged him a bit and, being the devoted father that I am, decided to find a better story for him to use to scare the kids back. 

I read him A Very Tucson Christmas (http://http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,27569.0).  I told him to place special emphasis on the ripping of the skin of naughty boys and girls who like to frighten other boys and girls. 

"Dad?" he asked.

"Yes, my boy?" I replied.

"I don't think I liked that story very much."   :sad:

Congratulations.  Your son isn't a whackjob.  :lulz:

Hey, I liked it...

OH, FUCK.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on December 10, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
Forgive me Reverend, for I have sinned.

I didn't drink all of the wine i brought along this weekend, and I even forgot to bring the big bottle of Hendrick's.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 01:58:00 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 10, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
Forgive me Reverend, for I have sinned.

I didn't drink all of the wine i brought along this weekend, and I even forgot to bring the big bottle of Hendrick's.

WHAT KIND OF A VIKING ARE YOU?

Your penance is to pillage the Irish coast.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on December 10, 2012, 06:48:48 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 01:58:00 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 10, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
Forgive me Reverend, for I have sinned.

I didn't drink all of the wine i brought along this weekend, and I even forgot to bring the big bottle of Hendrick's.

WHAT KIND OF A VIKING ARE YOU?

Your penance is to pillage the Irish coast.

Does this include raping monasteries? Not the nuns and/or monks, the actual monasteries?
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 07:07:49 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 10, 2012, 06:48:48 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 01:58:00 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 10, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
Forgive me Reverend, for I have sinned.

I didn't drink all of the wine i brought along this weekend, and I even forgot to bring the big bottle of Hendrick's.

WHAT KIND OF A VIKING ARE YOU?

Your penance is to pillage the Irish coast.

Does this include raping monasteries? Not the nuns and/or monks, the actual monasteries?

Yes, and you have to do it all BY YOURSELF.  In fact, before you start, I expect you to put big clay pots on your feet and run a couple of laps around the island.

You have a heritage to uphold, here.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: hunter s.durden on December 12, 2012, 11:05:00 AM
I said Merry Christmas.

No amount of showers...
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 12, 2012, 02:15:29 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 12, 2012, 11:05:00 AM
I said Merry Christmas.

To WHOM?
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 12, 2012, 05:29:40 PM
Durden's avatar reminds me of Roky Erickson.
An even more scrambled Roky Erickson, if you can imagine that.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?

"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"

I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.

I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?

"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"

I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.

I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.

Spunk in her face.

"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Richter on December 14, 2012, 03:55:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest.  publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans.  (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache

Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition

Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident

Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent


Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.

Yeah, but that's not a sin.

The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.

Well, I'm leaving the East Coast.  Fuck this place.

The last straw was not being able to get a decent order of eggs benedict.  Halfass foodstuffs in Kennedy country for fucksake. 

It is all figured out though, I am moving to Alaska.

There's no place like Nome for the Holedaise.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2012, 03:38:34 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 14, 2012, 03:55:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest.  publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans.  (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache

Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition

Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident

Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent


Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.

Yeah, but that's not a sin.

The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.

Well, I'm leaving the East Coast.  Fuck this place.

The last straw was not being able to get a decent order of eggs benedict.  Halfass foodstuffs in Kennedy country for fucksake. 

It is all figured out though, I am moving to Alaska.

There's no place like Nome for the Holedaise.

PENANCE REVOKED!

SEE YA IN DISNEYLAND! 

:crankey:
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Richter on December 17, 2012, 10:38:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2012, 03:38:34 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 14, 2012, 03:55:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest.  publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans.  (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache

Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition

Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident

Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent


Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.

Yeah, but that's not a sin.

The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.

Well, I'm leaving the East Coast.  Fuck this place.

The last straw was not being able to get a decent order of eggs benedict.  Halfass foodstuffs in Kennedy country for fucksake. 

It is all figured out though, I am moving to Alaska.

There's no place like Nome for the Holedaise.

PENANCE REVOKED!

SEE YA IN DISNEYLAND! 

:crankey:

I was never given penance activities in the first place!

GODDAMMIT.

Fine, but when they eject me (again) for self flagellating in the name of Jiminy Cricket I'm telling them it was your idea.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!

You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Luna on December 18, 2012, 02:32:08 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 17, 2012, 10:38:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2012, 03:38:34 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 14, 2012, 03:55:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest.  publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans.  (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache

Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition

Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident

Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent


Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.

Yeah, but that's not a sin.

The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.

Well, I'm leaving the East Coast.  Fuck this place.

The last straw was not being able to get a decent order of eggs benedict.  Halfass foodstuffs in Kennedy country for fucksake. 

It is all figured out though, I am moving to Alaska.

There's no place like Nome for the Holedaise.

PENANCE REVOKED!

SEE YA IN DISNEYLAND! 

:crankey:

I was never given penance activities in the first place!

GODDAMMIT.

Fine, but when they eject me (again) for self flagellating in the name of Jiminy Cricket I'm telling them it was your idea.

If they tell you that you're not allowed to self flagellate, I will happily wield the whip for you.

Bastard texted that one to me.

I was at work.

In front of the boss.

I was mid-conversation with the boyfriend regarding plans for the night, so I glanced at the phone.

I then had to EXPLAIN to my new boss of less than a month WHY I was stifling snickers so bad my ears popped.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!

You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.

YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:41:36 AM
He fears my Holiness™.  And my WRATH!
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Remington on December 18, 2012, 05:17:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!

You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.

YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!

IT SHALL BE DONE!
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:13:13 PM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 05:17:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!

You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.

YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!

IT SHALL BE DONE!

Please to report the funnier results.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 18, 2012, 04:22:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?

"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"

I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.

I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.

Spunk in her face.

"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."

"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it?  :fap:
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 04:36:00 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 18, 2012, 04:22:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?

"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"

I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.

I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.

Spunk in her face.

"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."

"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it?  :fap:

Can be.  In this case, it should be.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: hunter s.durden on December 19, 2012, 05:22:53 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 12, 2012, 02:15:29 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 12, 2012, 11:05:00 AM
I said Merry Christmas.

To WHOM?

To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 19, 2012, 01:51:50 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 19, 2012, 05:22:53 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 12, 2012, 02:15:29 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 12, 2012, 11:05:00 AM
I said Merry Christmas.

To WHOM?

To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.

Your penance is to BE merry.  Too merry.  So merry people move to the other side of the bus.  Until Christmas.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 19, 2012, 06:23:30 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 04:36:00 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 18, 2012, 04:22:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?

"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"

I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.

I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.

Spunk in her face.

"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."

"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it?  :fap:

Can be.  In this case, it should be.

:sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast:
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: Remington on December 20, 2012, 06:00:49 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:13:13 PM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 05:17:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!

You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.

YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!

IT SHALL BE DONE!

Please to report the funnier results.

Let's see:

1. Put on a concerned and sympathetic face (voice) over the phone with a legal assistant who had just accidentally sent a very confidential legal email to mike123@yahoo.ca instead of mike123@[lawfirm].ca. She wanted me to recall the email, but it had long since been sent. Only way to get it back would be to compromise the servers of the recipient domain and remove it from the recipient's mailbox before it was read, and our management frowns on that sort of thing.

2. Successfully hid my unadultered glee when the office manager at the Client From Hell hinted that they were probably going to be changing IT contractors. To put it in perspective, if/when they actually do leave us as a client, the senior techs and I will be going out to the pub or possibly a strip joint to celebrate.

Their office is what you get when you buy x3 more servers than you need, twice as many printers as employees, then hire a crackhead to administer it for four years. Any work we do for them now is basically palliative care.

3. Smiled and nodded at my boss when told "We have to keep on top of this!" in relation to a weird and intermittent performance issue I had been working away on steadily for the last three months. Well, I had been sitting on my ass drawing crayon pictures up until now, but since you've asked...
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 20, 2012, 02:07:56 PM
Quote from: Remington on December 20, 2012, 06:00:49 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:13:13 PM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 05:17:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!

You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.

YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!

IT SHALL BE DONE!

Please to report the funnier results.

Let's see:

1. Put on a concerned and sympathetic face (voice) over the phone with a legal assistant who had just accidentally sent a very confidential legal email to mike123@yahoo.ca instead of mike123@[lawfirm].ca. She wanted me to recall the email, but it had long since been sent. Only way to get it back would be to compromise the servers of the recipient domain and remove it from the recipient's mailbox before it was read, and our management frowns on that sort of thing.

2. Successfully hid my unadultered glee when the office manager at the Client From Hell hinted that they were probably going to be changing IT contractors. To put it in perspective, if/when they actually do leave us as a client, the senior techs and I will be going out to the pub or possibly a strip joint to celebrate.

Their office is what you get when you buy x3 more servers than you need, twice as many printers as employees, then hire a crackhead to administer it for four years. Any work we do for them now is basically palliative care.

3. Smiled and nodded at my boss when told "We have to keep on top of this!" in relation to a weird and intermittent performance issue I had been working away on steadily for the last three months. Well, I had been sitting on my ass drawing crayon pictures up until now, but since you've asked...

Oh, this is GOOD.  NICE THEM TO DEATH!
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on December 20, 2012, 02:11:35 PM
Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.

1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 20, 2012, 02:14:25 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 20, 2012, 02:11:35 PM
Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.

1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)

I am not your agony aunt.  I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for.  Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.

However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on December 20, 2012, 02:22:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 20, 2012, 02:14:25 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 20, 2012, 02:11:35 PM
Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.

1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)

I am not your agony aunt.  I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for.  Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.

However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.

I do every day. THIS IS NOT PENANCE, SIR!
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 20, 2012, 02:24:59 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 20, 2012, 02:22:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 20, 2012, 02:14:25 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 20, 2012, 02:11:35 PM
Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.

1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)

I am not your agony aunt.  I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for.  Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.

However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.

I do every day. THIS IS NOT PENANCE, SIR!

Ye Gods...It's even worse than I thought.  I'll get back to you after the morning meeting.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: EK WAFFLR on December 20, 2012, 02:32:47 PM
i also habitually wear ties, bow-ties and cravats.
Title: Re: All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.
Post by: hunter s.durden on December 21, 2012, 05:50:16 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 19, 2012, 01:51:50 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 19, 2012, 05:22:53 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 12, 2012, 02:15:29 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 12, 2012, 11:05:00 AM
I said Merry Christmas.

To WHOM?

To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.

Your penance is to BE merry.  Too merry.  So merry people move to the other side of the bus.  Until Christmas.

Aye, sir. Smile engaged.
The ICC may want a word with you.