State your sins or lack thereof, and I shall dispense penance.
You miserable bastards.
I danced the Gay Wango-Tango thrice last weekend.
I took the name of Roger in vain, fivefold.
I did not feed the troll.
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.
I accidentally the bourbon.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.
You BASTARD.
You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.
Bless me reverend for i have sinned. I have been negligent in the ways of our lady. I have not done any acts of discord in some time and i am long overdue for a pilgrimmage to providence (which will soon be rectified).
Quote from: ho|ist on December 06, 2012, 04:57:40 PM
Bless me reverend for i have sinned. I have been negligent in the ways of our lady. I have not done any acts of discord in some time and i am long overdue for a pilgrimmage to providence (which will soon be rectified).
When it's rectified, come get your penance. You can't ask for penance WHILE YOU'RE STILL SINNING. You have to STOP sinning first, THEN ask.
I stand before you, a miserable sinner. Bless me, Reverend, and may Our Lady intercede on my behalf for forgiveness of my apathy.
I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.
I have also failed to upper deck said toilets.
I have been sober, lo, since Nov. 29. Not because I needed to quit. Because I just don't feel like it.
I haven't told anybody "fuck you" in two days.
I have failed in my civic duty here at PD by not making a holist alt.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 06, 2012, 05:37:52 PM
I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.
You will draw the Transmet 3-eyed smiley :transmet: in no less than one public bathroom per week for the next 3 months.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 05:40:50 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 06, 2012, 05:37:52 PM
I have a red Sharpie(TM) in my purse and I have not composed any graffitti weirdness in days, although I have frequented public toilets.
You will draw the Transmet 3-eyed smiley :transmet: in no less than one public bathroom per week for the next 3 months.
Bless you, Reverend. Thy will be done. :lol:
I feel like I got off easy...
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.
You BASTARD.
You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.
You, sir, are PROPHET.
It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight. WHOOPS goes the bourbon!
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.
You BASTARD.
You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.
You, sir, are PROPHET.
It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight. WHOOPS goes the bourbon!
Quorum.
It's like I don't even know you anymore.
BLESS ME FUHRER FOR I HAZ SINNED!
It's been my whole life since my last confession (perhaps even longer - I wasn't there)
I've had impure thoughts. Exclusively. I have no intention of changing this anytime soon.
I have lusted. Again, pretty much constantly, ever since my junk started getting fuzzy.
I have nicked stuff, often when legal means of acquisition would have been less hassle. Just as a matter of principle.
I have borne false witness.
I have taken pretty much everyone's name in vain.
I've checked off most of the deadly sins, on a daily basis, except the thing with the ox, which I'm planning on getting round to but, y'know, gloth and sluttony...
I await my penance with a raging hardon, in the back of a stolen Audi, snorting coke off a strippers ass and singing the national anthem, backwards
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 06, 2012, 07:08:56 PM
BLESS ME FUHRER FOR I HAZ SINNED!
It's been my whole life since my last confession (perhaps even longer - I wasn't there)
DO NOT MAKE THE CONFESSOR LAUGH. :crankey:
QuoteI've had impure thoughts. Exclusively. I have no intention of changing this anytime soon.
I have lusted. Again, pretty much constantly, ever since my junk started getting fuzzy.
I have nicked stuff, often when legal means of acquisition would have been less hassle. Just as a matter of principle.
I have borne false witness.
I have taken pretty much everyone's name in vain.
I've checked off most of the deadly sins, on a daily basis, except the thing with the ox, which I'm planning on getting round to but, y'know, gloth and sluttony...
I await my penance with a raging hardon, in the back of a stolen Audi, snorting coke off a strippers ass and singing the national anthem, backwards
For what? That's an exemplary life right there.
Have you perchance prank-called Maggie Thatcher?
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 06, 2012, 07:11:39 PM
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.
NOBODY IS PURE EXCEPT
JESUS SOME GUY IN MAINE. :argh!:
I spent the entire day in an open plan office reading through the past week of FARK. I'm not even sorry.
I've spent the past week calling an obnoxious Auditor "Bilbo". He is paying me for this privilege.
I spent my lunch hitting a car with a crowbar.
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:18:28 PM
I spent the entire day in an open plan office reading through the past week of FARK. I'm not even sorry.
I've spent the past week calling an obnoxious Auditor "Bilbo". He is paying me for this privilege.
I spent my lunch hitting a car with a crowbar.
THREAD IS FOR SINS.
OR LACK THEREOF.
YOU MISERABLE BASTARD!
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:20:59 PM
OR LACK THEREOF.
YOU MISERABLE BASTARD!
GIVE ME A SIN TO ABSOLVE OR I'LL SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO.
OH GREAT AND HAIRIVLE TYRANT I FORGIVE YOUR FOR MY SINS NOW I BESEECH EAT THOU TO PENANACIFATE ME. I HAVE INDULGED IN HIPSTERISM BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WRITTEN PAPERS THAT INVOLVE IRONY AND DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF META. I HAVE NOT TROLLELLED MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS.
To give you a sin, I'd have to be sorry.
Have you seen the people round here? Fuck 'em. They deserve it and worse. I'm doing the good work reverend I'm sure of it.
Quote from: H0list on December 06, 2012, 07:23:54 PM
OH GREAT AND HAIRIVLE TYRANT I FORGIVE YOUR FOR MY SINS NOW I BESEECH EAT THOU TO PENANACIFATE ME. I HAVE INDULGED IN HIPSTERISM BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WRITTEN PAPERS THAT INVOLVE IRONY AND DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF META. I HAVE NOT TROLLELLED MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS.
You will bring up the "Phillipine-American War" (Wiki/google it. Bring a barf bag) in your history class, right after the most jingoistic member of the class gets done smarming.
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:24:08 PM
To give you a sin, I'd have to be sorry.
Have you seen the people round here? Fuck 'em. They deserve it and worse. I'm doing the good work reverend I'm sure of it.
Yes, which is why I'm telling you to CHANGE THE SUBJECT and talk about BAD SHIT you did.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:12:17 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 06, 2012, 07:08:56 PM
BLESS ME FUHRER FOR I HAZ SINNED!
It's been my whole life since my last confession (perhaps even longer - I wasn't there)
DO NOT MAKE THE CONFESSOR LAUGH. :crankey:
QuoteI've had impure thoughts. Exclusively. I have no intention of changing this anytime soon.
I have lusted. Again, pretty much constantly, ever since my junk started getting fuzzy.
I have nicked stuff, often when legal means of acquisition would have been less hassle. Just as a matter of principle.
I have borne false witness.
I have taken pretty much everyone's name in vain.
I've checked off most of the deadly sins, on a daily basis, except the thing with the ox, which I'm planning on getting round to but, y'know, gloth and sluttony...
I await my penance with a raging hardon, in the back of a stolen Audi, snorting coke off a strippers ass and singing the national anthem, backwards
For what? That's an exemplary life right there.
Have you perchance prank-called Maggie Thatcher?
Well, when I said "I await my penance" what I actually meant was "I'm close to blacking out"
Prank called Thatcher? I'll go one better. I
was Thatcher, for about two years, as a result of a drunken coup, which was the culmination of my cousins stag week and seemed like a good idea at the time. We felt guilty after a while and let her out the basement and returned her wig. She never mentioned it on account of we still have the video of what she did with the St Bernard. Of her own volition, I might add. The look on that dogs face will haunt me til the day I've drank enough to forget.
Remember when Britain and the US were getting all cosy when Maggie and Reagan were spending a lot of time together? Yeah, well, all I'm saying is - I still have those Y-fronts :wink:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:25:12 PM
Quote from: H0list on December 06, 2012, 07:23:54 PM
OH GREAT AND HAIRIVLE TYRANT I FORGIVE YOUR FOR MY SINS NOW I BESEECH EAT THOU TO PENANACIFATE ME. I HAVE INDULGED IN HIPSTERISM BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WRITTEN PAPERS THAT INVOLVE IRONY AND DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF META. I HAVE NOT TROLLELLED MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS.
You will bring up the "Phillipine-American War" (Wiki/google it. Bring a barf bag) in your history class, right after the most jingoistic member of the class gets done smarming.
CLAS IS OVER. NO MORE HISTORY FOR ME. EVER EVER AGAIN.
There also were no jingos in my class.
I was just here for the penance really. What does a guy have to do to get some good old time hosewhipping in the streets with bells and placards handed out?
I held up my end. Get to it.
I'm expecting some BIBLICAL shit. None of the naughty step bullshit give me an old testament smiting now
Quote from: H0list on December 06, 2012, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:25:12 PM
Quote from: H0list on December 06, 2012, 07:23:54 PM
OH GREAT AND HAIRIVLE TYRANT I FORGIVE YOUR FOR MY SINS NOW I BESEECH EAT THOU TO PENANACIFATE ME. I HAVE INDULGED IN HIPSTERISM BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WRITTEN PAPERS THAT INVOLVE IRONY AND DANGEROUS AMOUNTS OF META. I HAVE NOT TROLLELLED MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS.
You will bring up the "Phillipine-American War" (Wiki/google it. Bring a barf bag) in your history class, right after the most jingoistic member of the class gets done smarming.
CLAS IS OVER. NO MORE HISTORY FOR ME. EVER EVER AGAIN.
There also were no jingos in my class.
Oh. Then you're fucked.
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:32:58 PM
I was just here for the penance really. What does a guy have to do to get some good old time hosewhipping in the streets with bells and placards handed out?
I held up my end. Get to it.
I'm expecting some BIBLICAL shit. None of the naughty step bullshit give me an old testament smiting now
You will duel holist (the real one) to the DEATH, using nothing but passive-aggressive behavior.
I accept.
I'm going to be so passive-aggressive, I'm not even going to look at the pathetic shitbag.
Reverend, please inform Holist I'm not talking to him. Her. It. Whatever.
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:38:12 PM
I accept.
I'm going to be so passive, I'm not even going to look at the pathetic shitbag.
You need to use the other stuff, too?
I realised this.
Forgive me reverend for I have been relaxing in the Jamaican fashion and still type away.
It's lovely in this hammock.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:04:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.
You BASTARD.
You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.
You, sir, are PROPHET.
It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight. WHOOPS goes the bourbon!
Quorum.
It's like I don't even know you anymore.
Tack that on to my ongoing sin count.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 08:00:16 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:04:34 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 06:41:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 04:30:30 PM
I stayed five minutes later than I had to at work.
You BASTARD.
You will accidentally some MORE bourbon, and that is FUCKING FINAL.
You, sir, are PROPHET.
It just so happens that Frost Heaves is having a quarum/whiskey drinking meeting tonight. WHOOPS goes the bourbon!
Quorum.
It's like I don't even know you anymore.
Tack that on to my ongoing sin count.
Mangling the English language gets you sent to normal (boring) hell. Do you want that?
What if I really mangle it?
...Wait, that would make me Horab. DO NOT WANT.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2012, 08:34:04 PM
What if I really mangle it?
...Wait, that would make me Horab. DO NOT WANT.
Yes, the punishment is sort of built in on that one.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on December 06, 2012, 07:11:39 PM
I am a pure unicorn, Roger.
Did you even date an African woman once?
My sin is that I failed to be cynical enough to keep up with reality.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2012, 07:34:02 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 06, 2012, 07:32:58 PM
I was just here for the penance really. What does a guy have to do to get some good old time hosewhipping in the streets with bells and placards handed out?
I held up my end. Get to it.
I'm expecting some BIBLICAL shit. None of the naughty step bullshit give me an old testament smiting now
You will duel holist (the real one) to the DEATH, using nothing but passive-aggressive behavior.
I can't be duelled to the death. Weaselly, that way. Duelling me to the death is like drying the ocean with a sieve.
Confess? I suppose I can, I'm temporarily at liberty from classes.
-I gave Richter a copy of Incubus (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059311/?ref_=fn_al_tt_3) for his birthday.
-I had way too much fun chatting with my classmates this semester.
-I accidentally the last half glass of one of the bottles of my dad's birthday wine.
I sit on Facebook and Peedee during class rather than taking notes.
I just ate Bambi, even though I'm considering going vegetarian because of my digestion issues.
I'm a week late with washing my bedsheets.
My company hired a poor foreigner who was unaccustomed to our heathen ways, and yesterday he asked me if it was a health hazard to sit so close to a couple of network switches. He was concerned that they may be "spreading rays," which I assume is some kind of ESL version of "emitting radiation." I told him yes there is a minor risk of low sperm count, but that I had a solution. So I ran to the break room and fashioned him a tin foil hat, which he wore for the rest of the day.
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest. publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans. (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache
Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition
Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident
Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest. publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans. (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache
Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition
Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident
Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
:lulz:
ROGER, YOU HORRIBLE BASTARD PERSON.
I accidentally'd all the bourbon last night, and now am two and a half hours late at work, and my liver wants to kill me.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 07, 2012, 03:34:56 PM
ROGER, YOU HORRIBLE BASTARD PERSON.
I accidentally'd all the bourbon last night, and now am two and a half hours late at work, and my liver wants to kill me.
But can't you just feel the Holiness™ in your guts and sweating out of every pore? And that's not "horrible fatigue" you're feeling, it's the added weight of RIGHTEOUSNESS on your shoulders.
When I was younger, I used to think hangovers let you know you were still alive.
These days, I know they're simply evidence of utter stupidity.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 07, 2012, 04:01:33 PM
When I was younger, I used to think hangovers let you know you were still alive.
These days, I know they're simply evidence of utter stupidity.
I mostly quit drinking when the drunk stopped being worth the hangover. I DO occasionally drink, usually when the hate builds up to critical levels, and then I need 2 days to fully recover...At which time I curse myself for a fool and lay off for another 6 months.
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest. publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans. (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache
Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition
Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident
Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest. publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans. (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache
Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition
Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident
Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.
Yeah, but that's not a sin.
The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.
The kids were trying to scare my son at school the other day by telling him spooky stories about death and broken necks and other assorted (rather phoned in, tbh) horror. It bugged him a bit and, being the devoted father that I am, decided to find a better story for him to use to scare the kids back.
I read him A Very Tucson Christmas (http://http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,27569.0). I told him to place special emphasis on the ripping of the skin of naughty boys and girls who like to frighten other boys and girls.
"Dad?" he asked.
"Yes, my boy?" I replied.
"I don't think I liked that story very much." :sad:
Quote from: Bu☆ns on December 07, 2012, 05:57:39 PM
The kids were trying to scare my son at school the other day by telling him spooky stories about death and broken necks and other assorted (rather phoned in, tbh) horror. It bugged him a bit and, being the devoted father that I am, decided to find a better story for him to use to scare the kids back.
I read him A Very Tucson Christmas (http://http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,27569.0). I told him to place special emphasis on the ripping of the skin of naughty boys and girls who like to frighten other boys and girls.
"Dad?" he asked.
"Yes, my boy?" I replied.
"I don't think I liked that story very much." :sad:
Congratulations. Your son isn't a whackjob. :lulz:
Yeah, so my penance kicked my ass so hard, I decided to leave, and go work from home.
The main problem? It's Friday, Team Vodka's coming to the house for drinks, and then....
...say it with me...
TO THE GAY BAR.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 07, 2012, 07:47:46 PM
Yeah, so my penance kicked my ass so hard, I decided to leave, and go work from home.
The main problem? It's Friday, Team Vodka's coming to the house for drinks, and then....
...say it with me...
TO THE GAY BAR.
Thursday night partying exists to put a damper on Friday night partying.
But since they're all SATURDAY NIGHT anyway, no harm done.
Troofpaste: You're brushing with it.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 06:09:05 PM
Quote from: Bu☆ns on December 07, 2012, 05:57:39 PM
The kids were trying to scare my son at school the other day by telling him spooky stories about death and broken necks and other assorted (rather phoned in, tbh) horror. It bugged him a bit and, being the devoted father that I am, decided to find a better story for him to use to scare the kids back.
I read him A Very Tucson Christmas (http://http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,27569.0). I told him to place special emphasis on the ripping of the skin of naughty boys and girls who like to frighten other boys and girls.
"Dad?" he asked.
"Yes, my boy?" I replied.
"I don't think I liked that story very much." :sad:
Congratulations. Your son isn't a whackjob. :lulz:
Hey, I liked it...
OH, FUCK.
Forgive me Reverend, for I have sinned.
I didn't drink all of the wine i brought along this weekend, and I even forgot to bring the big bottle of Hendrick's.
Quote from: holis† on December 10, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
Forgive me Reverend, for I have sinned.
I didn't drink all of the wine i brought along this weekend, and I even forgot to bring the big bottle of Hendrick's.
WHAT KIND OF A VIKING ARE YOU?
Your penance is to pillage the Irish coast.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 01:58:00 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 10, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
Forgive me Reverend, for I have sinned.
I didn't drink all of the wine i brought along this weekend, and I even forgot to bring the big bottle of Hendrick's.
WHAT KIND OF A VIKING ARE YOU?
Your penance is to pillage the Irish coast.
Does this include raping monasteries? Not the nuns and/or monks, the actual monasteries?
Quote from: holis† on December 10, 2012, 06:48:48 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 01:58:00 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 10, 2012, 11:59:19 AM
Forgive me Reverend, for I have sinned.
I didn't drink all of the wine i brought along this weekend, and I even forgot to bring the big bottle of Hendrick's.
WHAT KIND OF A VIKING ARE YOU?
Your penance is to pillage the Irish coast.
Does this include raping monasteries? Not the nuns and/or monks, the actual monasteries?
Yes, and you have to do it all BY YOURSELF. In fact, before you start, I expect you to put big clay pots on your feet and run a couple of laps around the island.
You have a heritage to uphold, here.
I said Merry Christmas.
No amount of showers...
Durden's avatar reminds me of Roky Erickson.
An even more scrambled Roky Erickson, if you can imagine that.
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?
"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"
I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.
I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?
"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"
I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.
I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.
Spunk in her face.
"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest. publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans. (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache
Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition
Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident
Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.
Yeah, but that's not a sin.
The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.
Well, I'm leaving the East Coast. Fuck this place.
The last straw was not being able to get a decent order of eggs benedict. Halfass foodstuffs in Kennedy country for fucksake.
It is all figured out though, I am moving to Alaska.
There's no place like Nome for the Holedaise.
Quote from: Richter on December 14, 2012, 03:55:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest. publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans. (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache
Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition
Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident
Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.
Yeah, but that's not a sin.
The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.
Well, I'm leaving the East Coast. Fuck this place.
The last straw was not being able to get a decent order of eggs benedict. Halfass foodstuffs in Kennedy country for fucksake.
It is all figured out though, I am moving to Alaska.
There's no place like Nome for the Holedaise.
PENANCE REVOKED!
SEE YA IN DISNEYLAND!
:crankey:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2012, 03:38:34 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 14, 2012, 03:55:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest. publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans. (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache
Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition
Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident
Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.
Yeah, but that's not a sin.
The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.
Well, I'm leaving the East Coast. Fuck this place.
The last straw was not being able to get a decent order of eggs benedict. Halfass foodstuffs in Kennedy country for fucksake.
It is all figured out though, I am moving to Alaska.
There's no place like Nome for the Holedaise.
PENANCE REVOKED!
SEE YA IN DISNEYLAND!
:crankey:
I was never given penance activities in the first place!
GODDAMMIT.
Fine, but when they eject me (again) for self flagellating in the name of Jiminy Cricket I'm telling them it was your idea.
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.
Penance me up!
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.
Penance me up!
You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.
Quote from: Richter on December 17, 2012, 10:38:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 17, 2012, 03:38:34 AM
Quote from: Richter on December 14, 2012, 03:55:55 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 07, 2012, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 07, 2012, 05:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 07, 2012, 02:41:29 AM
Offenses against the Co workers:
-told the girl who just bought a house he life was now "50 shades of beige"
-requested a sexual harrasment workshop when I felt my own double entendre were not degrading enough
-wore a sheepskin vest. publically posted a rebuttal to the vegans. (Managers still laughing)
- ate the vindaloo
-turned the xmas tree into "Freddie Mercurtree" with glasses and fake stache
Offenses against the LARPers
-suggested better places to stick the binding runes
-flipped out on a unicorn
-made them add more rules about combat
-dropped puns at the Inquisition
Offenses against the roomates
-Ferric Chloride in the tub
-spent yeast from the beer in the sink
-pewter on the ceiling
-the bone dust incident
Offenses against the Scadians
-KO'ing tricks with a greatsword
-every knife kill that sent people to therapy.
-tieing up the household's roaming gnome statue like a gimp and hanging him in the spare tent
Actual confirmed fact; I was there. The others fit the behavior profile.
Yeah, but that's not a sin.
The jury is out on the pun thing, I'd have to see an example.
Well, I'm leaving the East Coast. Fuck this place.
The last straw was not being able to get a decent order of eggs benedict. Halfass foodstuffs in Kennedy country for fucksake.
It is all figured out though, I am moving to Alaska.
There's no place like Nome for the Holedaise.
PENANCE REVOKED!
SEE YA IN DISNEYLAND!
:crankey:
I was never given penance activities in the first place!
GODDAMMIT.
Fine, but when they eject me (again) for self flagellating in the name of Jiminy Cricket I'm telling them it was your idea.
If they tell you that you're not allowed to self flagellate, I will happily wield the whip for you.
Bastard texted that one to me.
I was at work.
In front of the boss.
I was mid-conversation with the boyfriend regarding plans for the night, so I glanced at the phone.
I then had to EXPLAIN to my new boss of less than a month WHY I was stifling snickers so bad my ears popped.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.
Penance me up!
You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.
YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
He fears my Holiness™. And my WRATH!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.
Penance me up!
You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.
YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!
IT SHALL BE DONE!
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 05:17:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.
Penance me up!
You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.
YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!
IT SHALL BE DONE!
Please to report the funnier results.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?
"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"
I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.
I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.
Spunk in her face.
"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."
"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it? :fap:
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 18, 2012, 04:22:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?
"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"
I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.
I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.
Spunk in her face.
"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."
"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it? :fap:
Can be. In this case, it
should be.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 12, 2012, 02:15:29 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 12, 2012, 11:05:00 AM
I said Merry Christmas.
To WHOM?
To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 19, 2012, 05:22:53 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 12, 2012, 02:15:29 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 12, 2012, 11:05:00 AM
I said Merry Christmas.
To WHOM?
To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.
Your penance is to BE merry. Too merry. So merry people move to the other side of the bus. Until Christmas.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 04:36:00 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 18, 2012, 04:22:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 13, 2012, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 08:46:51 PM
You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?
"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"
I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.
I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.
Spunk in her face.
"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."
"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it? :fap:
Can be. In this case, it should be.
:sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast: :sexybeast:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:13:13 PM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 05:17:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.
Penance me up!
You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.
YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!
IT SHALL BE DONE!
Please to report the funnier results.
Let's see:
1. Put on a concerned and sympathetic face (voice) over the phone with a legal assistant who had just accidentally sent a very confidential legal email to mike123@yahoo.ca instead of mike123@[lawfirm].ca. She wanted me to recall the email, but it had long since been sent. Only way to get it back would be to compromise the servers of the recipient domain and remove it from the recipient's mailbox before it was read, and our management frowns on that sort of thing.
2. Successfully hid my unadultered glee when the office manager at the Client From Hell hinted that they were probably going to be changing IT contractors. To put it in perspective, if/when they actually do leave us as a client, the senior techs and I will be going out to the pub or possibly a strip joint to celebrate.
Their office is what you get when you buy x3 more servers than you need, twice as many printers as employees, then hire a crackhead to administer it for four years. Any work we do for them now is basically palliative care.
3. Smiled and nodded at my boss when told "We have to keep on top of this!" in relation to a weird and intermittent performance issue I had been working away on steadily for the last three months. Well, I had been sitting on my ass drawing crayon pictures up until now, but since you've
asked...
Quote from: Remington on December 20, 2012, 06:00:49 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:13:13 PM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 05:17:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:37:58 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 18, 2012, 02:24:58 AM
Quote from: Remington on December 18, 2012, 02:10:59 AM
Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.
Penance me up!
You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.
YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?
I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!
IT SHALL BE DONE!
Please to report the funnier results.
Let's see:
1. Put on a concerned and sympathetic face (voice) over the phone with a legal assistant who had just accidentally sent a very confidential legal email to mike123@yahoo.ca instead of mike123@[lawfirm].ca. She wanted me to recall the email, but it had long since been sent. Only way to get it back would be to compromise the servers of the recipient domain and remove it from the recipient's mailbox before it was read, and our management frowns on that sort of thing.
2. Successfully hid my unadultered glee when the office manager at the Client From Hell hinted that they were probably going to be changing IT contractors. To put it in perspective, if/when they actually do leave us as a client, the senior techs and I will be going out to the pub or possibly a strip joint to celebrate.
Their office is what you get when you buy x3 more servers than you need, twice as many printers as employees, then hire a crackhead to administer it for four years. Any work we do for them now is basically palliative care.
3. Smiled and nodded at my boss when told "We have to keep on top of this!" in relation to a weird and intermittent performance issue I had been working away on steadily for the last three months. Well, I had been sitting on my ass drawing crayon pictures up until now, but since you've asked...
Oh, this is GOOD. NICE THEM TO DEATH!
Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.
1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)
Quote from: holis† on December 20, 2012, 02:11:35 PM
Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.
1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)
I am not your agony aunt. I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for. Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.
However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 20, 2012, 02:14:25 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 20, 2012, 02:11:35 PM
Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.
1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)
I am not your agony aunt. I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for. Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.
However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.
I do every day. THIS IS NOT PENANCE, SIR!
Quote from: holis† on December 20, 2012, 02:22:54 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 20, 2012, 02:14:25 PM
Quote from: holis† on December 20, 2012, 02:11:35 PM
Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.
1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)
I am not your agony aunt. I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for. Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.
However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.
I do every day. THIS IS NOT PENANCE, SIR!
Ye Gods...It's even worse than I thought. I'll get back to you after the morning meeting.
i also habitually wear ties, bow-ties and cravats.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 19, 2012, 01:51:50 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 19, 2012, 05:22:53 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 12, 2012, 02:15:29 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on December 12, 2012, 11:05:00 AM
I said Merry Christmas.
To WHOM?
To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.
Your penance is to BE merry. Too merry. So merry people move to the other side of the bus. Until Christmas.
Aye, sir. Smile engaged.
The ICC may want a word with you.