Principia Discordia

nO, SERIOUSLY.

I HAVE 30 OF THESE (http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTA8ulqnEzfPpz2ur-tl2JfFt6cggzuUIkB3G7pUWXUQaZq6aBd) HERE BLOOD ORANGES.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM DOING THIS, IT'S DECIDEDLY NOT SENSIBLE AT ALL.

I'd like to point out what happened last time.

I do know that none of you will listen, I'm just saying it for the record.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 12, 2013, 02:40:34 AM
I'd like to point out what happened last time.

I do know that none of you will listen, I'm just saying it for the record.

oh, if i get bored, I'll probably try make some marmalade outta what's left.

Besides, I haven't had blood oranges in an age, they have the shortest growing season and are kind of rare.

Also buying antacid tablets to prevent serious damage..

I have never had a blood orange.  I feel deprived.

Blood oranges are the king of citrus.


100% troof

I paid for mine using diamonds. Go on - as me what kind of diamonds  :evil:

The ones you had dead enemies crafted into?

Quote from: Mome Papess Trivial on March 12, 2013, 02:57:10 AM
I have never had a blood orange.  I feel deprived.

You are. They're out of season now, I think, but you should get them next year.


Have we decided which weekend to do this? I'm not in town this weekend (wheeee going to the desert wheee), but next weekend works better for me.

I AM RETURNING FROM RETIREMENT TO POWER MY WAY TO AN ORANGEY VICTORY!
















Maybe.

I don't think blood oranges are out of season, as evidenced by the fact that Pixie has 30 of them.

I will repeat what I have said before regarding this contest.




You are all insane.

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 12, 2013, 05:19:04 PM
I will repeat what I have said before regarding this contest.




You are all insane.

The orange-eating contest: MORE FUN THAN YOU REALLY WANTED.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 12, 2013, 05:54:58 PM

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 12, 2013, 05:19:04 PM
I will repeat what I have said before regarding this contest.




You are all insane.

The orange-eating contest: MORE FUN THAN YOU REALLY WANTED.

MORE FUN THAN YOUR BOWELS CAN HANDLE!!!

SO MUCH FUN YOU WILL SHIT TEARS OF BLOOD!!!

SO MUCH FUN THE WALLS OF THE PORT-O-SHITTER ARE BATHED IN HAPPINESS JUICE!!!
HAPPINESS JUICE IS YOUR BLOOD
FROM YOUR ASS
AND FACE HOLE

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 12, 2013, 05:09:39 PM
I don't think blood oranges are out of season, as evidenced by the fact that Pixie has 30 of them.

It's the Italian season I'm working off...

Quote from: Juana Go? on March 12, 2013, 03:11:22 PM

Quote from: Mome Papess Trivial on March 12, 2013, 02:57:10 AM
I have never had a blood orange.  I feel deprived.

You are. They're out of season now, I think, but you should get them next year.


Have we decided which weekend to do this? I'm not in town this weekend (wheeee going to the desert wheee), but next weekend works better for me.

I need to do it this weekend. Oranges arrive tomorrow.

My kid is thrilled. Mommy eating oranges all day means we're having a pyjama day, cracking out on video games together and there'll be a huge spread of all his favorite snacky-meal foods because there's no point in my cooking big meals for one little kid.

I am ready anytime. Oranges are on sale at Safeway right now.

My children just look at me with SO MUCH DISGUST/HORROR. They think it's the stupidest thing ever. I love it!

Alex thinks it's hilarious. Last time, I went around the house with Orange-face and basically put a cold-cut spread and fruit salad out for him the afternoon and it was dumplings and mozzarella sticks for dinner. This time, we're gonna crack-out on Mario together and go see Oz when I invariably lose.

All the ascorbic acid can't hurt, either.

I'd like to present the idea that we move this contest next year to the beginning of flu season, BTW.

Quote from: six to the quixotic on March 13, 2013, 12:18:57 AM

SO MUCH FUN YOU WILL SHIT TEARS OF BLOOD!!!

One word: "News" and "Feed"

The only way to win this competition is to not take part.

Cain,
winnar by default.

Quote from: navkat: navkat of...navkat! on March 13, 2013, 03:10:59 AM
My kid is thrilled. Mommy eating oranges all day means we're having a pyjama day, cracking out on video games together and there'll be a huge spread of all his favorite snacky-meal foods because there's no point in my cooking big meals for one little kid.

I love the idea of a kid growing up in a world where grown ups just occasionally engorge themselves with truly vile amounts of oranges.   :)

I just bought a bag of navels.  First time entry, motherfuckers.  I don't even know what I'm getting into.

You will be FUCKED FOREVER.

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 13, 2013, 06:16:32 PM
You will be FUCKED FOREVER.

What I lack in gastrointestinal fortitude I make up for by being a complete disaster.

Friend came over, ate some blood oranges. I now only have 25.

tomorrow, you bastards!

Soooooon! Muahahhaw!
But first, i am going to eat UNLIMITED SPARERIBS tonight!
It's preparation.
Somehow.

:facepalm:

TONIGHT

I BUY MY ORANGES

PREPARE TO DIE!














probably

In my youth, I occasionally bet acquaintances small sums of cash to attempt to eat/drink large amounts.

50p for 2 litres of water in one chug was always good. The result I'm sure you can predict. I'd like to think I was teaching them something about biology. I'll never know.

This is like that, only I've not even had to do anything. Excellent. Proceed.

Quote from: Cain on March 13, 2013, 05:47:38 PM
The only way to win this competition is to not take part.

Cain,
winnar by default.

SHHH! You're giving away my strategy to the n00bs!

Cainad,
ain't going through that shit just to end up in second place again

FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

- YEAH, WE'RE THE ONES WITH THE CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTORS

OK guys. I'll tell you a secret. I'm not planning to seriously compete, because I have class that morning, it's the weekend before finals, and I have a hernia. I am, however, going to eat a bunch of oranges and talk smack.

I am going to be honest here; the chances that anyone could beat me if I was in the game are small, simply because along with an utter refusal to quit, one of my unusual talents has always been a disturbingly high capacity for large amounts of highly questionable food, and I have taken advantage of that talent to bother, alarm, and anger my friends for decades. But I'm not in the game, and that means the arena is wide open for a normal mortal to take the crown.

Seize the day!

I HAVE ORANGES!

So, unless I have to work tomorrow, I'M ALL UP IN THIS FRUIT YO

I have no oranges.




I feel somewhat relieved.

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 15, 2013, 02:59:41 AM
I have no oranges.




I feel somewhat relieved.

I have bananas, on account of potassium deficiencies.  I have a contest every day.  I eat one banana, then declare myself the winner.

I never participate in this, mostly because I feel Eris fucks with my degistive system QUITE enough thankyouverymuch.

Quote from: Alty on March 15, 2013, 03:05:44 AM
I never participate in this, mostly because I feel Eris fucks with my degistive system QUITE enough thankyouverymuch.

And by "Eris fucks with your digestive system", you mean "You occasionally eat ancient mac & cheese and get sick as a dog."

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 15, 2013, 03:14:45 AM

Quote from: Alty on March 15, 2013, 03:05:44 AM
I never participate in this, mostly because I feel Eris fucks with my degistive system QUITE enough thankyouverymuch.

And by "Eris fucks with your digestive system", you mean "You occasionally eat ancient mac & cheese and get sick as a dog."

It wasn't ancient, it was only four days old. Granted it was on the counter the whole time. I put it in the oven for 45 min.

But yes. But also many little bugs and an allergy to peanuts, tree nuts, and MOTHERFUCKING SPERM.

TWO FUCKING ORANGES.

TWO.

It's only been today for 20 minutes.  I only intended to eat one before bed, to get the ball rolling, you know, but I hate two already.  It turns out I've tapped into a latent talent of mine - eating the motherfuck out of oranges.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 15, 2013, 03:05:04 AM

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 15, 2013, 02:59:41 AM
I have no oranges.




I feel somewhat relieved.

I have bananas, on account of potassium deficiencies.  I have a contest every day.  I eat one banana, then declare myself the winner.

:lol: This whole post is becoming my tagline, somewhere else.

 :ohnotache:

Payne stole some of my oranges! he is sabotaging me!

2 BLOOD ORANGES FUCKERS!

Also I have been told that I need to save some blood oranges for making roast lamb.

Not really in it seriouisly either, anymore.

ORANGE NUMBER FOUR.

I woke up and brushed my teeth and ate an orange and it was AWFUL.

SO I ATE ANOTHER ONE.

I DON'T HAVE EVEN ANY ORANGES

I AM EATING A BOWL OF FRIED RICE, WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

5 fucking ORANGES. I WAS ATTACKED BY AN INTERLOPING BASTARD OF A VALENCIA THAT WAS NOT A BLOOD ORANGE. MY LIPS ARE NOW SORE, BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE A ROUGE OR SOME SHIT, STABBY LITTLE BASTARD.

i AM GOING TO GO EAT SOMETHING ELSE, AND WAIT TILL IT DOESN'T FEEL AS BAD, AND EAT MORE FUCKING ORANGES.

Orange number seven.

My girlfriend asked me if I wanted her to pick up more oranges for me at the store while she was out.  I cried and asked her what I did to earn her malice.

THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN MYSELF IS EVERY OTHER ORANGE EATING TAINTSCRAPER IN THIS COMPETITION.

The LAIL is happening earlier than previous years.

MY UNCONQUERABLE THUNDERCOCK OF ORANGE MASTICATION HAS PROPELLED ME BEYOND YOU PUNY BUTT HAMS, PUTTING MY SCORE AT

Zero. But I did have an orange-flavor Berocca earlier.

So far I have had:

1 bowl of fried rice with shrimp
1 carrot.

I just came from the supermarket, where I discovered all legit oranges marked up to assrape prices.  :evilmad:
Especially for the amount I can eat.  :evil:
I fold.

Today I had a banana and a bowl of blackeyed peas. Both were quite good, and my colon is at peace.

We urge all parties involved in this situation to act with deep forethought and to weigh the costs, as well as the benefits, of any action they take, not only to themselves but to their regional neighbors. We strongly caution against any unilateral or excessive actions, as such actions will serve only to undermine the region's stability.

THE ORANGE COUNT HAS HIT DOUBLE DIGITS.

I just ate my 10th orange - the last of a four pound bag.

I HAVE EATEN FOUR POUNDS OF ORANGES.

But now I am out of them.   :sad:

I had two oranges this morning. Then I gave up and went to work. On the plus side, once at work, i got beer. Seven, so far.

This is not an orange eating contest.  There is no shit-talking.

There are only people reporting how many fruits they ate.

Allow me to demonstrate:

I HAD A BANANA TODAY.

THAT KICKS THE SHIT

Out of those PANSY "ORANGES"

YOU SPAGS EAT.  MY BANANA SODOMIZES your puny oranges

AND ISN'T SORRY!

I think there is shit-talking on the Facebook.

I am all out of shit-talking, but I am going to go MAKE A SHIT TON OF BEADS

ENJOY YOUR ORANGES, SUCKERS!!!

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 15, 2013, 10:28:13 PM
Allow me to demonstrate:

I HAD A BANANA TODAY.

THAT KICKS THE SHIT

Out of those PANSY "ORANGES"

YOU SPAGS EAT.  MY BANANA SODOMIZES your puny oranges

AND ISN'T SORRY!

:lulz: That reminds me of the fruit thread. Ofuck.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 15, 2013, 10:28:13 PM
Allow me to demonstrate:

I HAD A BANANA TODAY.

THAT KICKS THE SHIT

Out of those PANSY "ORANGES"

YOU SPAGS EAT.  MY BANANA SODOMIZES your puny oranges

AND ISN'T SORRY!

OH GOD MY MOM READS MY FACEBOOK I CAN'T PUT THAT SHIT.

And here, well, only Pix and I were actually eating any oranges.



THE REST OF YOU SIMPERING PANTY DROPLETS

WERE TOO BUSY TALKING ABOUT RICE OR SOME SHIT.

Next time you come to the FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST and talk about BANANAS try

COMPLETELY REMOVING YOUR HEAD FROM THE CHIQUITA LADY'S TEAT.

I just had ANOTHER BANANA.

There is a WHOLE BOWL OF BIGASS BANANAS HERE that I will CONSUME with MINIMAL BUTTSQUIRTING CONSEQUENCES.

That's just how I ROLLLLLLLLLLLL.

TGRR IS CORRECT. ORANGES ARE FOR SISSIES

ps:

Quote from: stelz on March 15, 2013, 11:03:40 PM
I just had ANOTHER BANANA.

There is a WHOLE BOWL OF BIGASS BANANAS HERE that I will CONSUME with MINIMAL BUTTSQUIRTING CONSEQUENCES.

That's just how I ROLLLLLLLLLLLL.

TGRR IS CORRECT. ORANGES ARE FOR SISSIES

You eat that whole bowl of bananas and you'll WISH you were buttsquirting.  :lol:

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 16, 2013, 12:30:06 AM

Quote from: stelz on March 15, 2013, 11:03:40 PM
I just had ANOTHER BANANA.

There is a WHOLE BOWL OF BIGASS BANANAS HERE that I will CONSUME with MINIMAL BUTTSQUIRTING CONSEQUENCES.

That's just how I ROLLLLLLLLLLLL.

TGRR IS CORRECT. ORANGES ARE FOR SISSIES

You eat that whole bowl of bananas and you'll WISH you were buttsquirting.  :lol:

I never said I wasn't going to space them out over a few days.  :lol:

So, uh... Who "won"?

Dunno. 


The mention about it being earlier this year made me want to point out that it is always earlier in the year than the last one.  We should have two this year, if the timetables are right, and next year too.

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on March 16, 2013, 06:17:46 PM
So, uh... Who "won"?

I believe that PAUL PEPPER won, at 20 oranges.