THE ORANGE EATING CONTEST IS baaaaaaaack!

[Junkenstein]

In my youth, I occasionally bet acquaintances small sums of cash to attempt to eat/drink large amounts.

50p for 2 litres of water in one chug was always good. The result I'm sure you can predict. I'd like to think I was teaching them something about biology. I'll never know.

This is like that, only I've not even had to do anything. Excellent. Proceed.

[Cainad (dec.)]

The only way to win this competition is to not take part.

Cain,
winnar by default.

SHHH! You're giving away my strategy to the n00bs!

Cainad,
ain't going through that shit just to end up in second place again

[Eater of Clowns]

FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

- YEAH, WE'RE THE ONES WITH THE CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTORS

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

OK guys. I'll tell you a secret. I'm not planning to seriously compete, because I have class that morning, it's the weekend before finals, and I have a hernia. I am, however, going to eat a bunch of oranges and talk smack.

I am going to be honest here; the chances that anyone could beat me if I was in the game are small, simply because along with an utter refusal to quit, one of my unusual talents has always been a disturbingly high capacity for large amounts of highly questionable food, and I have taken advantage of that talent to bother, alarm, and anger my friends for decades. But I'm not in the game, and that means the arena is wide open for a normal mortal to take the crown.

Seize the day!

[EK WAFFLR]

I HAVE ORANGES!

So, unless I have to work tomorrow, I'M ALL UP IN THIS FRUIT YO

[LMNO]

I have no oranges.




I feel somewhat relieved.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I have no oranges.




I feel somewhat relieved.

I have bananas, on account of potassium deficiencies.  I have a contest every day.  I eat one banana, then declare myself the winner.

[Salty]

I never participate in this, mostly because I feel Eris fucks with my degistive system QUITE enough thankyouverymuch.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I never participate in this, mostly because I feel Eris fucks with my degistive system QUITE enough thankyouverymuch.

And by "Eris fucks with your digestive system", you mean "You occasionally eat ancient mac & cheese and get sick as a dog."

[Salty]

I never participate in this, mostly because I feel Eris fucks with my degistive system QUITE enough thankyouverymuch.

And by "Eris fucks with your digestive system", you mean "You occasionally eat ancient mac & cheese and get sick as a dog."

It wasn't ancient, it was only four days old. Granted it was on the counter the whole time. I put it in the oven for 45 min.

But yes. But also many little bugs and an allergy to peanuts, tree nuts, and MOTHERFUCKING SPERM.

[Eater of Clowns]

TWO FUCKING ORANGES.

TWO.

It's only been today for 20 minutes.  I only intended to eat one before bed, to get the ball rolling, you know, but I hate two already.  It turns out I've tapped into a latent talent of mine - eating the motherfuck out of oranges.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I have no oranges.




I feel somewhat relieved.

I have bananas, on account of potassium deficiencies.  I have a contest every day.  I eat one banana, then declare myself the winner.

This whole post is becoming my tagline, somewhere else.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

 

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Payne stole some of my oranges! he is sabotaging me!

2 BLOOD ORANGES FUCKERS!

Also I have been told that I need to save some blood oranges for making roast lamb.

Not really in it seriouisly either, anymore.

[Eater of Clowns]

ORANGE NUMBER FOUR.

I woke up and brushed my teeth and ate an orange and it was AWFUL.

SO I ATE ANOTHER ONE.