OH MY FUCKING FUCKING GOD COOKIES
WHICH ONES ARE THE APRICOT BASTARDS I NEED TO CRAM THEM IN MY BODY
The tiny pie is mine. Nobody better touch that or they get shanked.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 16, 2013, 02:49:21 AM
Nobody better touch that or they get shanked.
Children, be warned.
YAY COOKIES!
Apricot bastards came out a little dry this time, they're the ones that look bland and featureless. There should also be Apricot Pinwheels in there, which will be more delicious. The flat ones with chocolate chips are the nut-free Bastards (chocolate chip mango).
IN MY FUCKING MOUTH, APRICOT BASTARDS AND ALSO THE SWEET SWEET FRUITY RICE SUSHI.
APRICOT BASTARDS DOWN MY FRUIT-HOLE
These chocolate balls are fucking gooooooood.
COOKIES HERE, TOO!
I can only have one. :sadbanana:
Or Jenn will whup on me. :banana:
Jenn and I had an apricot bastard. YUM!
Then Keelin announced that she was saving us from temptation, and hooked the rest.
She says they are delicious (they are), and to say "thank you, QG!"
I'm so excited things are showing up already!
I can do a full breakdown of what's in the boxes if people want, not every box got everything and packing ended up crazy so I actually don't know who got what (besides Alty's nut-free box).
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 16, 2013, 03:19:48 AM
I'm so excited things are showing up already!
I can do a full breakdown of what's in the boxes if people want, not every box got everything and packing ended up crazy so I actually don't know who got what (besides Alty's nut-free box).
The bag opened, but the cookies that were in it are not even stale yet.
I'm out of town until Wednesday and I just got a call that a box arrived today.
I could not stress enough: DO NOT TOUCH.
I'll share when I get back. And there's something to look forward to when the fun here is over and I'm chugging back into the grey depot of Dumbfuckstan.
COOKIES. :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
THANK YOU!!!!!
I also have cookies, the tiny pie was absolutely delectable. yum.
Thank you so very much.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 16, 2013, 03:19:48 AM
I'm so excited things are showing up already!
I can do a full breakdown of what's in the boxes if people want, not every box got everything and packing ended up crazy so I actually don't know who got what (besides Alty's nut-free box).
I'LL GET ALTY'S NUT-FREE BOX
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 16, 2013, 07:21:49 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 16, 2013, 03:19:48 AM
I'm so excited things are showing up already!
I can do a full breakdown of what's in the boxes if people want, not every box got everything and packing ended up crazy so I actually don't know who got what (besides Alty's nut-free box).
I'LL GET ALTY'S NUT-FREE BOX
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Don't get Alty's Nut-Free Box, he won't be able to eat cookies if you do!
(Interesting note: the nut-free box says "Nut-Free" on the side and now that I read the Atheist packaging tape story I'm worried that may make it "suspicious" and delay delivery).
I can neither confirm nor deny the arrival of any alleged cookies.
I can, however, confirm that hypothetically, if the alleged cookies did arrive, they were delicious.
Did any of the sea urchin cookies survive the trip? The spines were a little fragile.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 17, 2013, 02:22:35 AM
Did any of the sea urchin cookies survive the trip? The spines were a little fragile.
If they're what I think they were, yes.
But they did not survive Keelin, who butchered them all, in a fit of bloodlust.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 17, 2013, 02:22:35 AM
Did any of the sea urchin cookies survive the trip? The spines were a little fragile.
I suspect the spines broke off of mine, were they chocolate on the outside? They were delicious even broken.
I'm just gonna put up the list here because I wanna:
- Apricot Bastards: small, round, bland looking cookies hiding apricot jam and walnut pieces
- Blueberry Disasters: small, round spiral cookies with homemade blueberry jam leaking out all over the damn place
- Apricot Pinwheels: small, round spiral cookies with delicious apricot jam
- Chocolate Mango Bastards (aka Nut-Free Bastards): small round cookies with chocolate chips and dried mango pieces
- Peanut Butter Sea Urchins: chocolate covered peanut butter balls with crunchy noodle spines
- Nut-Free Urchins: chocolate covered crunchy noodle blobs
- Blackened Peanut Butter Cookies: slightly burnt peanut butter cookies with cocoa powder coating
- Amigara Gingersnaps: ginger cookies with man-shaped holes cut out
- Cinnamon Challenge Cookies: large cookies with cinnamon chips and cinnamon sugar dusting
- Cornbread Waffles: what it sounds like
- Lemonade Waffles: Waffles with a hint of lemon flavor with lemon frosting
- Chocolate Salty Balls: chocolate vodka truffles rolled in cocoa powder and sea salt, served in pairs
- Mini Fruit Pies: spiced cookie dough filled with dried fruits and apple jelly
- Marblecake: just a big old chunk of marblecake
- Candy Sushi: marshmallow and rice cereal treat with swedish fish and fruit roll-ups, tastefully presented
Not all boxes had all the things, but everyone got a variety of cookies, the chocolate balls, sea urchins of one kind or another, and a candy sushi box.
I got my box today. My roommates were terrified. It was smashed all to heck like the postal people had tried clawing their way in before realizing that's not how things work. :P The candy sushi has been claimed by one of the roommates. I sampled a piece of various things and OMG SO GOOOOOOOOD. The apricot pinwheels are but a memory, I confess.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 17, 2013, 03:59:20 AM
I got my box today. My roommates were terrified. It was smashed all to heck like the postal people had tried clawing their way in before realizing that's not how things work. :P The candy sushi has been claimed by one of the roommates. I sampled a piece of various things and OMG SO GOOOOOOOOD. The apricot pinwheels are but a memory, I confess.
I was afraid someone was gonna get their box "inspected." Glad what arrived is delicious, though!
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 17, 2013, 04:16:20 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 17, 2013, 03:59:20 AM
I got my box today. My roommates were terrified. It was smashed all to heck like the postal people had tried clawing their way in before realizing that's not how things work. :P The candy sushi has been claimed by one of the roommates. I sampled a piece of various things and OMG SO GOOOOOOOOD. The apricot pinwheels are but a memory, I confess.
I was afraid someone was gonna get their box "inspected." Glad what arrived is delicious, though!
Oh yes, ever so much om nom nom!! Thank you. :D
Surprise Daughter claimed ALL of the urchins and then at once point pranced into the room to make me take a bit of one.
It was delicious.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 17, 2013, 08:25:53 AM
Surprise Daughter claimed ALL of the urchins and then at once point pranced into the room to make me take a bit of one.
It was delicious.
Did you end up with the four urchin package?
Holy SHEEEEEET that is a box of heaven.
It has transformed my opinion of drug threads substantially.
PD.com: The only spot on the internet where painful intellectual circle jerking, acrid in fighting, and mindless reptition leads to DELICIOUS CAKE.
Quote from: Alty on April 17, 2013, 05:23:45 PM
Holy SHEEEEEET that is a box of heaven.
It has transformed my opinion of drug threads substantially.
PD.com: The only spot on the internet where painful intellectual circle jerking, acrid in fighting, and mindless reptition leads to DELICIOUS CAKE.
QC *IS* America. I know this because I am an American, and I know that I need cookies. So Auntie Sugar gives them to me for behaving. I'm Johnny Presley, and I don't have any roots. In fact, I have nothing below the knees.
Quote from: Alty on April 17, 2013, 05:23:45 PM
Holy SHEEEEEET that is a box of heaven.
It has transformed my opinion of drug threads substantially.
PD.com: The only spot on the internet where painful intellectual circle jerking, acrid in fighting, and mindless reptition leads to DELICIOUS CAKE.
ZOMG
Are we being...
conditioned? :eek:
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 17, 2013, 04:07:28 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 17, 2013, 08:25:53 AM
Surprise Daughter claimed ALL of the urchins and then at once point pranced into the room to make me take a bit of one.
It was delicious.
Did you end up with the four urchin package?
I only saw two, but it had already been ravaged by teenagers at the point where I was able to identify things.
Quote from: stelz on April 17, 2013, 05:28:22 PM
Quote from: Alty on April 17, 2013, 05:23:45 PM
Holy SHEEEEEET that is a box of heaven.
It has transformed my opinion of drug threads substantially.
PD.com: The only spot on the internet where painful intellectual circle jerking, acrid in fighting, and mindless reptition leads to DELICIOUS CAKE.
ZOMG
Are we being...conditioned? :eek:
:aaa:
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 17, 2013, 05:47:44 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 17, 2013, 04:07:28 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 17, 2013, 08:25:53 AM
Surprise Daughter claimed ALL of the urchins and then at once point pranced into the room to make me take a bit of one.
It was delicious.
Did you end up with the four urchin package?
I only saw two, but it had already been ravaged by teenagers at the point where I was able to identify things.
Most of the boxes only had two, I made one with four that I was planning to send to Balls (who specifically requested no sea urchin cookies) but the boxes got all mixed up at the post office.
Nah, I got two but holy shit they were good.
The chocolate salty balls, however, were fucking transcendent. I'm afraid I'm going to have to order a batch from you. I'll happily pay cost plus shipping plus a fair profit margin.
Quote from: Balls Wellington on April 17, 2013, 09:01:59 PM
Nah, I got two but holy shit they were good.
The chocolate salty balls, however, were fucking transcendent. I'm afraid I'm going to have to order a batch from you. I'll happily pay cost plus shipping plus a fair profit margin.
Totally doable, but it'll have to wait til next week (stuck at my Dad's place cleaning out Mom's attic). I'll PM you about moneys.
Evidently, I missed free cookies. :(
Is okay, not that my fat ass needs them anyway, but I may ping you for recipes.
Quote from: Suu on April 17, 2013, 09:35:02 PM
Evidently, I missed free cookies. :(
Is okay, not that my fat ass needs them anyway, but I may ping you for recipes.
I'm sorry, I tried to holler about it as much as I could until it was time to get serious about baking and boxing. :(
No worries! I haven't been on the boards a whole lot lately because of school. I will probably disappear again shortly until mid-May, but now I'm too busy reading ALL THE THINGS.
Thanks so much for the lovely box of delicious.
My teeth and dentist probably hate you, but all I have is LOVE.
BTW, I had it shipped to my office and the people next door held it for me for a few days and I shared one of the chocolate twiggy thingies with her.
I don't know what her opinions on weed are and for this I am sorry.
Quote from: Alty on April 18, 2013, 12:55:47 AM
Thanks so much for the lovely box of delicious.
My teeth and dentist probably hate you, but all I have is LOVE.
BTW, I had it shipped to my office and the people next door held it for me for a few days and I shared one of the chocolate twiggy thingies with her.
I don't know what her opinions on weed are and for this I am sorry.
I can go my whole life not knowing what your office neighbor thinks about weed. I will be okay.
I am home now and full of AWESOME COOKIES and my housemates are full of AWESOME COOKIES and there are STILL COOKIES LEFT.
The chocolate ball thingies are ESPECIALLY FANTASTIC.
Quote from: Alty on April 18, 2013, 12:55:47 AM
Thanks so much for the lovely box of delicious.
My teeth and dentist probably hate you, but all I have is LOVE.
BTW, I had it shipped to my office and the people next door held it for me for a few days and I shared one of the chocolate twiggy thingies with her.
I don't know what her opinions on weed are and for this I am sorry.
I didn't taste any space butter. But :lol:
So, my subconscious has found a new and interesting way to fuck with me!
Dreamt that someone posted here that they were deporting my cookies because they were terrible and the donut smelled like ammonia. Which spiraled into a whole lot of confusion about "what donut" and "why would baked goods smell like ammonia?" Because I am a paranoid dummy, it seems.
(If anyone got an ammonia flavored donut in your box, please don't eat it, I didn't put it there.)
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 18, 2013, 03:47:27 PM
So, my subconscious has found a new and interesting way to fuck with me!
Dreamt that someone posted here that they were deporting my cookies because they were terrible and the donut smelled like ammonia. Which spiraled into a whole lot of confusion about "what donut" and "why would baked goods smell like ammonia?" Because I am a paranoid dummy, it seems.
(If anyone got an ammonia flavored donut in your box, please don't eat it, I didn't put it there.)
:lulz: Everything was delicious, and it is all gone now. No ammonia donut in my box!
So, anyone been horribly betrayed by friends or shot at yet?
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 23, 2013, 11:02:17 PM
So, anyone been horribly betrayed by friends or shot at yet?
So far, everything's coming up roses!
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 23, 2013, 11:02:17 PM
So, anyone been horribly betrayed by friends or shot at yet?
I got shot at 3 times in the last year, presumably by Crazy Jeff, The Worst Stalker Ever.
So I've met my quota.
I keep knocking over every beverage container I get within 6 feet of, but otherwise things are great. And I haven't been shot at since 1996-ish. Unless that one drunk guy in Iowa was trying to shoot me when he shot his pecker off, down by the river in 2008.
My ex-husband informed me last night that I will have full custody of my teenagers, starting in May. I could interpret this to be a direct result of your cookies.
Mind you, he's gone back and forth on this custody thing several times.
The good news is, he's not living in my basement yet, but I am feeling like I should probably plan to convert my basement into a Rascal-accessible apartment as soon as I can.
Not sure if good thing or bad :?
It's fine.
Honestly, I would rather he still had his beautiful house and had not sold it and squandered the money, and also I really felt that the 50/50 custody (that he took me to court for) was working fine, and also for some reason he doesn't seem to realize that if I HAVE the kids full-time I should also get to CLAIM them full-time, but overall, it's fine.
SOMEONE DIDN'T GET THEIR COOKIES.
THEY GOT RETURNED TO SENDER.
OMG NO GOOD BAD THINGS :vom:
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 18, 2013, 03:47:27 PM
So, my subconscious has found a new and interesting way to fuck with me!
Dreamt that someone posted here that they were deporting my cookies because they were terrible and the donut smelled like ammonia. Which spiraled into a whole lot of confusion about "what donut" and "why would baked goods smell like ammonia?" Because I am a paranoid dummy, it seems.
(If anyone got an ammonia flavored donut in your box, please don't eat it, I didn't put it there.)
Your subconscious bakes with hartshorn.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 15, 2013, 03:02:23 AM
SOMEONE DIDN'T GET THEIR COOKIES.
THEY GOT RETURNED TO SENDER.
OMG NO GOOD BAD THINGS :vom:
They were about a month old, weren't they?
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 15, 2013, 03:02:23 AM
SOMEONE DIDN'T GET THEIR COOKIES.
THEY GOT RETURNED TO SENDER.
OMG NO GOOD BAD THINGS :vom:
Oh sad! :cry:
Quote from: stelz on May 15, 2013, 05:30:59 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 15, 2013, 03:02:23 AM
SOMEONE DIDN'T GET THEIR COOKIES.
THEY GOT RETURNED TO SENDER.
OMG NO GOOD BAD THINGS :vom:
They were about a month old, weren't they?
Yeah just about. Everything in the bag had crumbled except one of the waffle corners that was growing things, and the whole box smelled rancid :(
Sorry to whoever didn't get theirs. There wasn't any clear explanation on the box why it wasn't delivered on time.
That's a testament to them being real food, a quarter pounder would have stayed intact and non-stinky.
QG'S COOKIES: THE HEALTHIER OPTION
I got your cookies, thought I posted about them, and just realized I the post did not go through.
They were outstanding! Every last one of them, except the waffle which I failed to refrigerate before mold set in.
My baby's momma closed our child support case after you sent those, so Oregon has stopped directly taking it out of my pay and then NOT sending it to baby's momma in California.
:crankey:
So she'll always get the money now because it's coming direct from me rather than getting "lost" between state governments.
Quote from: Net on May 15, 2013, 09:46:56 PM
I got your cookies, thought I posted about them, and just realized I the post did not go through.
They were outstanding! Every last one of them, except the waffle which I failed to refrigerate before mold set in.
My baby's momma closed our child support case after you sent those, so Oregon has stopped directly taking it out of my pay and then NOT sending it to baby's momma in California.
:crankey:
So she'll always get the money now because it's coming direct from me rather than getting "lost" between state governments.
We've been having adventures in child support over here, too. Glad to know yours is working out!
FOR SCIENCE, do you remember which waffle had the mold problem, and when it set in? I'm hoping to improve the shelf-stability for the inevitable next time I go crazy and bake.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 15, 2013, 09:53:03 PM
Quote from: Net on May 15, 2013, 09:46:56 PM
I got your cookies, thought I posted about them, and just realized I the post did not go through.
They were outstanding! Every last one of them, except the waffle which I failed to refrigerate before mold set in.
My baby's momma closed our child support case after you sent those, so Oregon has stopped directly taking it out of my pay and then NOT sending it to baby's momma in California.
:crankey:
So she'll always get the money now because it's coming direct from me rather than getting "lost" between state governments.
We've been having adventures in child support over here, too. Glad to know yours is working out!
FOR SCIENCE, do you remember which waffle had the mold problem, and when it set in? I'm hoping to improve the shelf-stability for the inevitable next time I go crazy and bake.
The cookies shifted space-time to a slightly more favorable universe. As a timelord, I'd recommend two witty comments and one direct look into the TARDIS. That or if someone sent you a box of Vindaloo ought to do the trick.
I want to say it was the waffle that was more yellow in color that molded, but I can't quite recall. Mind you, I was an idiot for not refrigerating it for days on end.
That makes sense, the corn ones were the oldest by far of everything that went in.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 15, 2013, 10:20:16 PM
That makes sense, the corn ones were the oldest by far of everything that went in.
I just read this without looking at what thread I was in . :eek:
HEY NOW THEY'RE ALMOST AS STALE AS THE DRUG THREADS THEMSELVES AMIRITE?!
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 16, 2013, 03:15:57 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 15, 2013, 10:20:16 PM
That makes sense, the corn ones were the oldest by far of everything that went in.
I just read this without looking at what thread I was in . :eek:
:potd:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 16, 2013, 03:52:12 AM
HEY NOW THEY'RE ALMOST AS STALE AS THE DRUG THREADS THEMSELVES AMIRITE?!
:lulz: