Okay. Which one of you guys was 'sexyjos' ?
QuoteWe will meet after dark.
I will wear jeans and a shirt. you will be dressed in an inappropriate dress or perhaps an equally inappropriate short skirt.We will kiss on first sight. Without reservation. No holding back, regardless of where we meet. A long, deep, delicious tongue wagging kiss.
Here is a list of things we probably should not do, but will do most of, if not all of: Whispering. Hand-holding. Long, deep public kissing, Stroking, Public displays of affection, even public sex.
It will probably be so amazing, we most likely find ourselves meeting again tomorrow night at about the same time. If you have any plans, any plans at all, you should probably clear your calendar even before responding to this post.
I'm good looking, Dominant, sensual, a gentleman, fun, charming and even sweet. Not for the meek, I'm all business about this. so hit me back and we can make our own 50 shades story!
and 'openmyeyeswider' ?
QuoteWho is the mysterious woman behind the deceptively piercing eyes? You definitely intrigue me, but the way those eyes bore into my soul puts me back a step.
Holy shit how do you end up with all the awesome ones?
Not me. My OKC messages are poems based on the letters sent by the Zodiac killer.
Quote from: Cain on July 12, 2013, 10:13:00 PM
Not me. My OKC messages are poems based on the letters sent by the Zodiac killer.
I will keep an eye out for those! :P
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on July 12, 2013, 10:07:38 PM
Holy shit how do you end up with all the awesome ones?
My magic allure draws them to me like pollen sings to bees. Or something. I really don't know how I got so lucky. :P
I found girlfriendo through POF.
...I found an orgy through OkC.
*Shrug* Your mileage may vary.
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on July 13, 2013, 01:25:29 AM
I found girlfriendo through POF.
...I found an orgy through OkC.
*Shrug* Your mileage may vary.
Ok?
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 12, 2013, 09:56:27 PM
Okay. Which one of you guys was 'sexyjos' ?
QuoteWe will meet after dark.
I will wear jeans and a shirt. you will be dressed in an inappropriate dress or perhaps an equally inappropriate short skirt.We will kiss on first sight. Without reservation. No holding back, regardless of where we meet. A long, deep, delicious tongue wagging kiss.
Here is a list of things we probably should not do, but will do most of, if not all of: Whispering. Hand-holding. Long, deep public kissing, Stroking, Public displays of affection, even public sex.
It will probably be so amazing, we most likely find ourselves meeting again tomorrow night at about the same time. If you have any plans, any plans at all, you should probably clear your calendar even before responding to this post.
I'm good looking, Dominant, sensual, a gentleman, fun, charming and even sweet. Not for the meek, I'm all business about this. so hit me back and we can make our own 50 shades story!
UM, GROSS. :vom:
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on July 13, 2013, 01:25:29 AM
I found girlfriendo through POF.
...I found an orgy through OkC.
*Shrug* Your mileage may vary.
Thread is now about Hylierandom. Sorry CPD.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 13, 2013, 05:27:50 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 12, 2013, 09:56:27 PM
Okay. Which one of you guys was 'sexyjos' ?
QuoteWe will meet after dark.
I will wear jeans and a shirt. you will be dressed in an inappropriate dress or perhaps an equally inappropriate short skirt.We will kiss on first sight. Without reservation. No holding back, regardless of where we meet. A long, deep, delicious tongue wagging kiss.
Here is a list of things we probably should not do, but will do most of, if not all of: Whispering. Hand-holding. Long, deep public kissing, Stroking, Public displays of affection, even public sex.
It will probably be so amazing, we most likely find ourselves meeting again tomorrow night at about the same time. If you have any plans, any plans at all, you should probably clear your calendar even before responding to this post.
I'm good looking, Dominant, sensual, a gentleman, fun, charming and even sweet. Not for the meek, I'm all business about this. so hit me back and we can make our own 50 shades story!
UM, GROSS. :vom:
Yep. :D My first message on my other account was some white, overweight guy in his 40's going on about how bisexuals were going to HELL especially FAGGOTS who deserve to DIE while being roasted on a SPIT made from SATAN'S COCK.
I sent back a note saying it sounded like he had interesting fetishes and did he want to talk some more and he lost it. So this time around I'm just trying to share the lulz. :D
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 13, 2013, 05:29:42 PM
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on July 13, 2013, 01:25:29 AM
I found girlfriendo through POF.
...I found an orgy through OkC.
*Shrug* Your mileage may vary.
Thread is now about Hylierandom. Sorry CPD.
:lulz:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 13, 2013, 05:30:03 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 13, 2013, 05:27:50 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 12, 2013, 09:56:27 PM
Okay. Which one of you guys was 'sexyjos' ?
QuoteWe will meet after dark.
I will wear jeans and a shirt. you will be dressed in an inappropriate dress or perhaps an equally inappropriate short skirt.We will kiss on first sight. Without reservation. No holding back, regardless of where we meet. A long, deep, delicious tongue wagging kiss.
Here is a list of things we probably should not do, but will do most of, if not all of: Whispering. Hand-holding. Long, deep public kissing, Stroking, Public displays of affection, even public sex.
It will probably be so amazing, we most likely find ourselves meeting again tomorrow night at about the same time. If you have any plans, any plans at all, you should probably clear your calendar even before responding to this post.
I'm good looking, Dominant, sensual, a gentleman, fun, charming and even sweet. Not for the meek, I'm all business about this. so hit me back and we can make our own 50 shades story!
UM, GROSS. :vom:
Yep. :D My first message on my other account was some white, overweight guy in his 40's going on about how bisexuals were going to HELL especially FAGGOTS who deserve to DIE while being roasted on a SPIT made from SATAN'S COCK.
I sent back a note saying it sounded like he had interesting fetishes and did he want to talk some more and he lost it. So this time around I'm just trying to share the lulz. :D
Oh yes, PLEASE do! :lol: I occasionally get some interesting/creepy/hilarious ones. Like this:
Quotewatcha up to today? I'd love to lie around naked and just enjoy each other's company. if there's chemistry, all the better. text me (503) ###-#### if interested. i'm in NW off 23 rd. - B----
And then there was this:
QuoteI have business, a truck, and two kids. I rent a house, and have a house my ex lives in. I live with two cats, and my ex has our dogs. Not even close to a degree. I live close, own my business with, and get along very well with my ex. So i can visit my house and dogs when i want.
Um... good for you? I guess?
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 13, 2013, 05:36:36 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 13, 2013, 05:30:03 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 13, 2013, 05:27:50 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 12, 2013, 09:56:27 PM
Okay. Which one of you guys was 'sexyjos' ?
QuoteWe will meet after dark.
I will wear jeans and a shirt. you will be dressed in an inappropriate dress or perhaps an equally inappropriate short skirt.We will kiss on first sight. Without reservation. No holding back, regardless of where we meet. A long, deep, delicious tongue wagging kiss.
Here is a list of things we probably should not do, but will do most of, if not all of: Whispering. Hand-holding. Long, deep public kissing, Stroking, Public displays of affection, even public sex.
It will probably be so amazing, we most likely find ourselves meeting again tomorrow night at about the same time. If you have any plans, any plans at all, you should probably clear your calendar even before responding to this post.
I'm good looking, Dominant, sensual, a gentleman, fun, charming and even sweet. Not for the meek, I'm all business about this. so hit me back and we can make our own 50 shades story!
UM, GROSS. :vom:
Yep. :D My first message on my other account was some white, overweight guy in his 40's going on about how bisexuals were going to HELL especially FAGGOTS who deserve to DIE while being roasted on a SPIT made from SATAN'S COCK.
I sent back a note saying it sounded like he had interesting fetishes and did he want to talk some more and he lost it. So this time around I'm just trying to share the lulz. :D
Oh yes, PLEASE do! :lol: I occasionally get some interesting/creepy/hilarious ones. Like this:
Quotewatcha up to today? I'd love to lie around naked and just enjoy each other's company. if there's chemistry, all the better. text me (503) ###-#### if interested. i'm in NW off 23 rd. - B----
And then there was this:
QuoteI have business, a truck, and two kids. I rent a house, and have a house my ex lives in. I live with two cats, and my ex has our dogs. Not even close to a degree. I live close, own my business with, and get along very well with my ex. So i can visit my house and dogs when i want.
Um... good for you? I guess?
The first one would get a response like "Well I don't mind laying around naked, how do you feel about asymmetrical anatomy and/or abnormal growths? It can be sort of off-putting for some people . . . ."
The second one is a puzzler, though. Does he want a merit badge or is he laying the groundwork to cover up the fact he's still boning his ex?
I don't know, it was mystifying. He didn't ask any questions or say anything about being interested in meeting me, so I just didn't reply.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 13, 2013, 05:54:25 PM
I don't know, it was mystifying. He didn't ask any questions or say anything about being interested in meeting me, so I just didn't reply.
Weird, man.
I think he was probably giving you things to ask him about and be interested in, so he wouldn't have to let you be the dominant one in the conversation. Or something.
What the hell is it even with people being all "I'M AM DOMENINT."? Is this supposed to be a way to make yourself seem more attractive and likeable? And is it just the ones I've met, or does it seem like every single person, on and off the interbutts, who goes around telling people they're dominant are almost universally assholes? Controlling assholes?
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on July 14, 2013, 02:08:44 AM
I think he was probably giving you things to ask him about and be interested in, so he wouldn't have to let you be the dominant one in the conversation. Or something.
What the hell is it even with people being all "I'M AM DOMENINT."? Is this supposed to be a way to make yourself seem more attractive and likeable? And is it just the ones I've met, or does it seem like every single person, on and off the interbutts, who goes around telling people they're dominant are almost universally assholes? Controlling assholes?
Yeah. Although what 'dominant' means apparently changes from douchebag to douchebag. It can be anything from "I AM A BDSM GURU!!!" to "I CUT FIREWOOD WITH MY PENIS" to "I WILL ORDER YOUR FOOD BECAUSE YOU ARE SUBMISSIVE AND THUS WILL EAT WHAT I PICK OR STARVE". People are weird, yo.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 13, 2013, 05:31:30 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 13, 2013, 05:29:42 PM
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on July 13, 2013, 01:25:29 AM
I found girlfriendo through POF.
...I found an orgy through OkC.
*Shrug* Your mileage may vary.
Thread is now about Hylierandom. Sorry CPD.
:lulz:
:craig:
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on July 14, 2013, 02:08:44 AM
What the hell is it even with people being all "I'M AM DOMENINT."? Is this supposed to be a way to make yourself seem more attractive and likeable? And is it just the ones I've met, or does it seem like every single person, on and off the interbutts, who goes around telling people they're dominant are almost universally assholes? Controlling assholes?
Okay...BDSM thing... there are FAR more subs than Doms.
...There are (as far as I can tell) far more wannabe Doms/Dommes than good ones.
So a good Dom/Domme is in demand.
This is because good Dominants have to work at it. It takes some intelligence. It also takes training if bondage is involved-it's actually really easy to seriously hurt someone if you do not know what you are doing.
...Put that under the heading: "Never do anything you'd be embarrassed to tell the paramedics about."
I was told the Dominant's job, in part, was to order the sub to do what they wanted to do anyway.
Do keep in mind, I'm a n00b to BDSM, and now working weekends when all the parties go down. :cry:
When I first "separated" with the ex, I kinda was like "YAY! I can have sex now!" so I went a little nuts...
I did have one guy I met through POF...seemed very nice from the profile.
THEN I got him on the phone, and within five minutes he basically started getting so perverse that I almost swabbed my ear with hand sanitizer after the call.
After that they didn't get my cellphone # until we'd actually met somewhere in public.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 14, 2013, 02:30:14 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on July 14, 2013, 02:08:44 AM
I think he was probably giving you things to ask him about and be interested in, so he wouldn't have to let you be the dominant one in the conversation. Or something.
What the hell is it even with people being all "I'M AM DOMENINT."? Is this supposed to be a way to make yourself seem more attractive and likeable? And is it just the ones I've met, or does it seem like every single person, on and off the interbutts, who goes around telling people they're dominant are almost universally assholes? Controlling assholes?
Yeah. Although what 'dominant' means apparently changes from douchebag to douchebag. It can be anything from "I AM A BDSM GURU!!!" to "I CUT FIREWOOD WITH MY PENIS" to "I WILL ORDER YOUR FOOD BECAUSE YOU ARE SUBMISSIVE AND THUS WILL EAT WHAT I PICK OR STARVE". People are weird, yo.
I dunno, but since that's super not my scene it's a good signal for me to not bother with them. Anyone who throws that out there as a part of their core identity is not someone I'm compatible with, and I don't really want to hear about it so I don't talk to them.
That and the "I'm in a poly relationship" guys.
No, you're not, you're in an open relationship and you're looking to get laid, and if I go out with you you will subject me to hour upon hour of you explaining how you're just so secure in your relationship that you decided to open it up, followed by hour upon hour of you explaining how you're totally OK with how into her lover your wife is, followed by hour upon hour of you talking about your impending divorce.
Been around the block a few times, it's totally fucking predictable.
Throw in some ecstatic dance and the people you met through a sex-positive Meetup group, too, because it's Portland.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 14, 2013, 02:00:18 PM
That and the "I'm in a poly relationship" guys.
No, you're not, you're in an open relationship and you're looking to get laid, and if I go out with you you will subject me to hour upon hour of you explaining how you're just so secure in your relationship that you decided to open it up, followed by hour upon hour of you explaining how you're totally OK with how into her lover your wife is, followed by hour upon hour of you talking about your impending divorce.
Been around the block a few times, it's totally fucking predictable.
Throw in some ecstatic dance and the people you met through a sex-positive Meetup group, too, because it's Portland.
There's few things as frustrating than people who assert some of their actions as a core component of their identity. Whether you're a poly/dom/relationship queer* or a stoner or an MBA or what have you, you don't need to wear a giant t-shirt that says so, it doesn't need to make up the whole of your conversation at every conceivable moment.
I mean, sure, do that shit. It's your life. Do your thing, just keep it away from me.
BUT, I would strongly urge people that want to be bipedal to avoid making their SOME of their actions the ENTIRETY of their identity. That's just foolish.
*
:troll:
Wouldn't bringing up the poly/dom/trans* stuff be super relevant to put up front on a dating site? I'm all for those thigs not being the core of your identity and all, but it seems pretty important to get out there with people you might want to bang.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on July 14, 2013, 08:27:46 PM
Wouldn't bringing up the poly/dom/trans* stuff be super relevant to put up front on a dating site? I'm all for those thigs not being the core of your identity and all, but it seems pretty important to get out there with people you might want to bang.
Depends what you are looking for, i would say.
The things you mention are the things that matter the most to you, so if your rap is mostly revolving around domination and how sensual you are, then one can obviously infer you are only looking for sex.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on July 14, 2013, 08:27:46 PM
Wouldn't bringing up the poly/dom/trans* stuff be super relevant to put up front on a dating site? I'm all for those thigs not being the core of your identity and all, but it seems pretty important to get out there with people you might want to bang.
Bring it up? Sure. Have a discussion about it even? Absolutely. Make it the entire focus of a date with several hours of lecturing solely on THAT ONE THING, to the exclusion of any other discussion and/or learning about the other person you're meeting with? No.
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on July 14, 2013, 08:27:46 PM
Wouldn't bringing up the poly/dom/trans* stuff be super relevant to put up front on a dating site? I'm all for those thigs not being the core of your identity and all, but it seems pretty important to get out there with people you might want to bang.
I dunno, I have an open thingy and I just mention it and go to lengths to makes people aware of how awfully abrasive my personality is. Okcupid has never really worked for me.
Quote from: Alty on July 14, 2013, 11:53:44 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on July 14, 2013, 08:27:46 PM
Wouldn't bringing up the poly/dom/trans* stuff be super relevant to put up front on a dating site? I'm all for those thigs not being the core of your identity and all, but it seems pretty important to get out there with people you might want to bang.
I dunno, I have an open thingy and I just mention it and go to lengths to makes people aware of how awfully abrasive my personality is. Okcupid has never really worked for me.
Funny, you don't come off as exceptionally abrasive on the internet.
...I find it takes out wrinkles and gray hairs too. :)
...I figured out that if I am dating more than one person, I have no time for anything else.
I have the option, but I'm not really interested in exercising it at this point.
Girlfriendo's good for me and actually wants more sex than I do...and after the Mr Floppy incident... :x
Plus the couple I tried to form a triad with? I think they just wanted me to spend money on them.
:(
I don't have much money to be used
for, yanno?
Quote from: Alty on July 14, 2013, 07:07:15 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 14, 2013, 02:00:18 PM
That and the "I'm in a poly relationship" guys.
No, you're not, you're in an open relationship and you're looking to get laid, and if I go out with you you will subject me to hour upon hour of you explaining how you're just so secure in your relationship that you decided to open it up, followed by hour upon hour of you explaining how you're totally OK with how into her lover your wife is, followed by hour upon hour of you talking about your impending divorce.
Been around the block a few times, it's totally fucking predictable.
Throw in some ecstatic dance and the people you met through a sex-positive Meetup group, too, because it's Portland.
There's few things as frustrating than people who assert some of their actions as a core component of their identity. Whether you're a poly/dom/relationship queer* or a stoner or an MBA or what have you, you don't need to wear a giant t-shirt that says so, it doesn't need to make up the whole of your conversation at every conceivable moment.
I mean, sure, do that shit. It's your life. Do your thing, just keep it away from me.
BUT, I would strongly urge people that want to be bipedal to avoid making their SOME of their actions the ENTIRETY of their identity. That's just foolish.
*
:troll:
SERIOUSLY.
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 01:47:38 AM
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
I feel like there should be more to that statement. "A paragon of sweetness and sunshine . . . ENCASED IN AN ADAMANTIUM MECHA DROID HELL BENT ON DESTROYING ALL THAT LIVES, STARTING WITH PALIN AND PUTIN!!!!1!!!"
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 02:54:06 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 01:47:38 AM
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
I feel like there should be more to that statement. "A paragon of sweetness and sunshine . . . ENCASED IN AN ADAMANTIUM MECHA DROID HELL BENT ON DESTROYING ALL THAT LIVES, STARTING WITH PALIN AND PUTIN!!!!1!!!"
:lulz:
I got banned before screen shot. :cry:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 15, 2013, 05:27:15 AM
I got banned before screen shot. :cry:
WHAT?
DAMN THEM!!!
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 02:54:06 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 01:47:38 AM
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
I feel like there should be more to that statement. "A paragon of sweetness and sunshine . . . ENCASED IN AN ADAMANTIUM MECHA DROID HELL BENT ON DESTROYING ALL THAT LIVES, STARTING WITH PALIN AND PUTIN!!!!1!!!"
:lulz:
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 05:28:48 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 15, 2013, 05:27:15 AM
I got banned before screen shot. :cry:
WHAT?
DAMN THEM!!!
I logged in as "George Zimmerman's Mom", and wrote a nice profile involving Barry White.
It lasted about 5 seconds.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 15, 2013, 05:34:33 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 05:28:48 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 15, 2013, 05:27:15 AM
I got banned before screen shot. :cry:
WHAT?
DAMN THEM!!!
I logged in as "George Zimmerman's Mom", and wrote a nice profile involving Barry White.
It lasted about 5 seconds.
They are quick on the trigger today.
This may be naive of me . . . but is there anyone on okCupid not looking for someone to fuck? I mean, I'm just there to mess with people not actually find someone. But all my messages are "OMG UR A GIRL! U HAV TITS? WAN 2 FUK?" So sad.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 06:08:49 AM
This may be naive of me . . . but is there anyone on okCupid not looking for someone to fuck? I mean, I'm just there to mess with people not actually find someone. But all my messages are "OMG UR A GIRL! U HAV TITS? WAN 2 FUK?" So sad.
People that know how to talk to people usually tend to find people IRL.
People that think "LETZ FUK BABY" is likely to charm women are on okcupid.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 15, 2013, 05:34:33 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 05:28:48 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 15, 2013, 05:27:15 AM
I got banned before screen shot. :cry:
WHAT?
DAMN THEM!!!
I logged in as "George Zimmerman's Mom", and wrote a nice profile involving Barry White.
It lasted about 5 seconds.
DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. EVERYWHERE.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 01:47:38 AM
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
you mean an agent of the gods of diobeetus and kanzer?
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 02:54:06 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 01:47:38 AM
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
I feel like there should be more to that statement. "A paragon of sweetness and sunshine . . . ENCASED IN AN ADAMANTIUM MECHA DROID HELL BENT ON DESTROYING ALL THAT LIVES, STARTING WITH PALIN AND PUTIN!!!!1!!!"
Nothing can destroy Putin. And why would anybody WANT to? That man is what we should all aspire to.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 06:08:49 AM
This may be naive of me . . . but is there anyone on okCupid not looking for someone to fuck? I mean, I'm just there to mess with people not actually find someone. But all my messages are "OMG UR A GIRL! U HAV TITS? WAN 2 FUK?" So sad.
There was at least one. But now I'm taken, after meeting a lovely lady through OKC. ;)
I bet you fuck like you party. :lulz:
Nah, it's more like the all night cram sessions I did before botany exams.
Except without the caffeine.
You know, if I had multiple botany exams a week.
So, keeps you up all night and makes you pray for death?
Nah, up all night and involves role playing.
She's xylem, I'm phloem.
Quote from: My Other Username Is A Pseudonym on July 15, 2013, 07:52:22 PM
Nah, up all night and involves role playing.
She's xylem, I'm phloem.
Well, that definitely matches up with my expectations.
Dirty mind!
Touche!
I should say I did have a bunch of weirdos e-mail me as well at OKC. But honestly, at least in the geographic subsection I was scanning in TRONE, it was weirdos all the way down.
Quote from: My Other Username Is A Pseudonym on July 15, 2013, 11:03:25 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 06:08:49 AM
This may be naive of me . . . but is there anyone on okCupid not looking for someone to fuck? I mean, I'm just there to mess with people not actually find someone. But all my messages are "OMG UR A GIRL! U HAV TITS? WAN 2 FUK?" So sad.
There was at least one. But now I'm taken, after meeting a lovely lady through OKC. ;)
I am truly devastated.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 09:38:14 PM
Quote from: My Other Username Is A Pseudonym on July 15, 2013, 11:03:25 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 06:08:49 AM
This may be naive of me . . . but is there anyone on okCupid not looking for someone to fuck? I mean, I'm just there to mess with people not actually find someone. But all my messages are "OMG UR A GIRL! U HAV TITS? WAN 2 FUK?" So sad.
There was at least one. But now I'm taken, after meeting a lovely lady through OKC. ;)
I am truly devastated.
:lol:
Quote from: Balls Wellington on July 15, 2013, 09:52:10 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 02:54:06 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 01:47:38 AM
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
I feel like there should be more to that statement. "A paragon of sweetness and sunshine . . . ENCASED IN AN ADAMANTIUM MECHA DROID HELL BENT ON DESTROYING ALL THAT LIVES, STARTING WITH PALIN AND PUTIN!!!!1!!!"
Nothing can destroy Putin. And why would anybody WANT to? That man is what we should all aspire to.
I don't really want Putin destroyed, then I'll never get to live out my dream . . .
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 06:08:49 AM
This may be naive of me . . . but is there anyone on okCupid not looking for someone to fuck? I mean, I'm just there to mess with people not actually find someone. But all my messages are "OMG UR A GIRL! U HAV TITS? WAN 2 FUK?" So sad.
There is SOME intelligence there, just not in the majority.
It is a dating site, part of its' purpose is to, in fact, find you someone to fuck.
...Those of us who find stupidity a turnoff are already qualifying as very picky. :horrormirth:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 09:44:58 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on July 15, 2013, 09:52:10 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 02:54:06 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 01:47:38 AM
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
I feel like there should be more to that statement. "A paragon of sweetness and sunshine . . . ENCASED IN AN ADAMANTIUM MECHA DROID HELL BENT ON DESTROYING ALL THAT LIVES, STARTING WITH PALIN AND PUTIN!!!!1!!!"
Nothing can destroy Putin. And why would anybody WANT to? That man is what we should all aspire to.
I don't really want Putin destroyed, then I'll never get to live out my dream . . .
You stay away from my man, you homewrecker.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2013, 08:05:05 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 09:44:58 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on July 15, 2013, 09:52:10 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 15, 2013, 02:54:06 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on July 15, 2013, 01:47:38 AM
Alty is like a paragon of sweetness and sunshine.
I feel like there should be more to that statement. "A paragon of sweetness and sunshine . . . ENCASED IN AN ADAMANTIUM MECHA DROID HELL BENT ON DESTROYING ALL THAT LIVES, STARTING WITH PALIN AND PUTIN!!!!1!!!"
Nothing can destroy Putin. And why would anybody WANT to? That man is what we should all aspire to.
I don't really want Putin destroyed, then I'll never get to live out my dream . . .
You stay away from my man, you homewrecker.
He and I have so much in common! Guns! Hunting! Our appreciation of wildlife and how good it looks displayed on our walls! A cowed and terrified population being ground beneath our heel. Mutual contempt for softer world leaders.
What do you and he have together? Huh? NOTHING! THAT'S WHAT!
It's only a matter of time . . .
I just wanted to draw everyone's attention to this gallery:
http://imgur.com/gallery/Ldagx
Example:
(http://i.imgur.com/6Mq27s5.jpg)
Quote from: Cain on July 18, 2013, 03:37:37 AM
I just wanted to draw everyone's attention to this gallery:
http://imgur.com/gallery/Ldagx
Example:
(http://i.imgur.com/6Mq27s5.jpg)
LOVE the man-scaping.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
(http://i.imgur.com/Ar5eext.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/6GdJtHk.jpg)
Quote from: Cain on July 18, 2013, 03:37:37 AM
I just wanted to draw everyone's attention to this gallery:
http://imgur.com/gallery/Ldagx
Example:
(http://i.imgur.com/6Mq27s5.jpg)
:eek:
*reaches for eyebleach*
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
(http://i.imgur.com/zKS9fVf.jpg)
Pfff. Sex addicts, yout never see them giving out handjobs for se...oh right.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on July 18, 2013, 03:45:23 AM
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
(http://i.imgur.com/zKS9fVf.jpg)
...to paraphrase what I said earlier...Asking for intelligence is already asking a lot...
Quote from: Cain on July 18, 2013, 03:37:37 AM
I just wanted to draw everyone's attention to this gallery:
http://imgur.com/gallery/Ldagx
Example:
(http://i.imgur.com/6Mq27s5.jpg)
:horrormirth:
Random907ladyface, who is "very intelligent" and "does not read books":
Nicee. What do you do for work?
Me:
Well, as mentioned in my profile (ETA: the first paragraph), I am self employed as a myfascial massage therapist.
Random907ladyface:
That's really cool your self employed! I'm really interested in the business field myself!
Me:
It's a lot of hard work, for sure. Although I would say I am more in the health and wellness field. Being self-employed is just sort of a bonus. I don't like having a boss.
Random907ladyface:
I bet! I wanna be a stock broker!
Me:
:ffs:
Why is that.
Random907ladyface:
I've always been interested in the business field, but I didn't know which part. I think the money is what drives me and to work on wall street. I wanna work on wall street.
Me:
Ah. Well good luck to you.
Me:
Does it ever bother you that wall street is wholly responsible for the economic disparity and inequality the world faces after decades of no regulation?
Random907ladyface:
Regulation of what?
Me:
:facepalm:
Quote from: Alty on February 24, 2014, 12:05:24 AM
Random907ladyface, who is "very intelligent" and "does not read books":
Nicee. What do you do for work?
Me:
Well, as mentioned in my profile (ETA: the first paragraph), I am self employed as a myfascial massage therapist.
Random907ladyface:
That's really cool your self employed! I'm really interested in the business field myself!
Me:
It's a lot of hard work, for sure. Although I would say I am more in the health and wellness field. Being self-employed is just sort of a bonus. I don't like having a boss.
Random907ladyface:
I bet! I wanna be a stock broker!
Me:
:ffs:
Why is that.
Random907ladyface:
I've always been interested in the business field, but I didn't know which part. I think the money is what drives me and to work on wall street. I wanna work on wall street.
Me:
Ah. Well good luck to you.
Me:
Does it ever bother you that wall street is wholly responsible for the economic disparity and inequality the world faces after decades of no regulation?
Random907ladyface:
Regulation of what?
Me:
:facepalm:
LOL @ "intelligent and does not read books".
For so long I was in love with business and I didn't know why and then I realised...
I REALLY LIKE MONEY.
Has anything good ever come out of OkCupid?
lulz aplenty.
I met the wife on OKC. Whether that's something good depends on if you're asking us or Roger, who had to flee New Zealand on a tiny raft.
Well, that counts... who knows, maybe its just me, or that here in the 3rd world its a less diverse demographic in such sites, more marginal and elitist, and... well not only that, you need to be well versed in english too so...
ive mostly had interactions with leisurely rich trophy wife material, fuglys and a psychopath... so yeah... :sadbanana:
OKCupid is far more useful in English-speaking urban centres.
I got a few dates out of it while I was in London...even if all of them were English literature studying Labour party supporters who watched Doctor Who and Sherlock religiously ( :argh!:).
In the countryside, it's pretty hit and miss, and even more so in Europe etc.
I met ECHGF on OKC and she's actually one of the most awesome people I've ever known. I have no idea what she was ding slumming on OKC. But I knew it was a good match when her opening line (she contacted me first) was "Hey, so you sound like a bit of an asshole and your tests make you out to be a slut. We should hang out."
I have met a couple cool people on OKC and stayed friends with them. However, I also think that in Portland it tends to be a cesspit of swingers, the freshly heartbroken (and therefore unsuitable for relationships) and people who are profoundly socially inept.
I may have pissed off a guy tonight, a 40 year old musician who spends his life touring around the US playing for tips and beer money with his wife, by telling him I liked ICP and John Coltrane. I think it was the ICP part that made him stop talking to me, though. :P
fucking okcupid, how does it work?
Anyhow, ive had more interesting interactions in PlentyOfFish, you ppl should try it out
I dunno. I'm talking to a pretty chill guy right now. He likes X-Men almost as much as me. :D
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 05:07:58 AM
I may have pissed off a guy tonight, a 40 year old musician who spends his life touring around the US playing for tips and beer money with his wife, by telling him I liked ICP and John Coltrane. I think it was the ICP part that made him stop talking to me, though. :P
I have found that to be a great litmus test for almost anyone.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 08:01:17 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 05:07:58 AM
I may have pissed off a guy tonight, a 40 year old musician who spends his life touring around the US playing for tips and beer money with his wife, by telling him I liked ICP and John Coltrane. I think it was the ICP part that made him stop talking to me, though. :P
I have found that to be a great litmus test for almost anyone.
It's quick, it's easy, and it has the added bonus of pissing people off. :P
Quote from: The Johnny on June 18, 2014, 05:46:41 AM
fucking okcupid, how does it work?
Anyhow, ive had more interesting interactions in PlentyOfFish, you ppl should try it out
Free to use? Easily trollable?
If so, I might give it a try.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 05:07:58 AM
I may have pissed off a guy tonight, a 40 year old musician who spends his life touring around the US playing for tips and beer money with his wife, by telling him I liked ICP and John Coltrane. I think it was the ICP part that made him stop talking to me, though. :P
So, the categories I'm seeing are:
OK Cupid
40 Years Old
Touring Musician
Married
Is he swinging, or just straight up looking to cheat?
Quote from: The Johnny on June 18, 2014, 05:46:41 AM
fucking okcupid, how does it work?
Anyhow, ive had more interesting interactions in PlentyOfFish, you ppl should try it out
By "more interesting" do you mean "funnier"? Because I'm not looking for a new boyfriend, I just forgot my password so I can't disable my account until I stop being lazy and either dig around for it or reset it.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 18, 2014, 12:02:35 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 05:07:58 AM
I may have pissed off a guy tonight, a 40 year old musician who spends his life touring around the US playing for tips and beer money with his wife, by telling him I liked ICP and John Coltrane. I think it was the ICP part that made him stop talking to me, though. :P
So, the categories I'm seeing are:
OK Cupid
40 Years Old
Touring Musician
Married
Is he swinging, or just straight up looking to cheat?
I think he was looking for a hook-up for his epic beard, honestly. All his pictures were of the beard, except for a token one of him, his beard, and his wife.
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!
(sardonic)
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 06:58:44 PM
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
:lulz: I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 18, 2014, 07:06:04 PM
Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!
(sardonic)
I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:10:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 06:58:44 PM
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
:lulz: I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.
I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview'
after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.
okCupid is never-ending hilarity. :D :D :D I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:12:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 18, 2014, 07:06:04 PM
Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!
(sardonic)
I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.
....what the hell were you exactly invited to here?
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:29:21 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:12:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 18, 2014, 07:06:04 PM
Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!
(sardonic)
I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.
....what the hell were you exactly invited to here?
Basically they're looking for a fuck-toy. I thought about showing up as a blow-up doll. :P
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:12:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 18, 2014, 07:06:04 PM
Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!
(sardonic)
I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.
:vom:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:14:30 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:10:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 06:58:44 PM
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
:lulz: I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.
I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.
okCupid is never-ending hilarity. :D :D :D I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.
I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:36:25 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:14:30 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:10:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 06:58:44 PM
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
:lulz: I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.
I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.
okCupid is never-ending hilarity. :D :D :D I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.
I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.
Damn!
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:34:45 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:29:21 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:12:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 18, 2014, 07:06:04 PM
Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!
(sardonic)
I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.
....what the hell were you exactly invited to here?
Basically they're looking for a fuck-toy. I thought about showing up as a blow-up doll. :P
Ah.
I have no idea whether to feel proud, dense or some combination of the two.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:37:04 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:36:25 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:14:30 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:10:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 06:58:44 PM
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
:lulz: I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.
I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.
okCupid is never-ending hilarity. :D :D :D I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.
I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.
Damn!
The most stunning part was how few people mentioned it.
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:39:10 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:34:45 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:29:21 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:12:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 18, 2014, 07:06:04 PM
Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!
(sardonic)
I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.
....what the hell were you exactly invited to here?
Basically they're looking for a fuck-toy. I thought about showing up as a blow-up doll. :P
Ah.
I have no idea whether to feel proud, dense or some combination of the two.
:P Whatever works. I ended up linking this one couple to Starship's selection of inflat-a-dates.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:41:59 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:37:04 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:36:25 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:14:30 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:10:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 06:58:44 PM
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
:lulz: I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.
I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.
okCupid is never-ending hilarity. :D :D :D I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.
I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.
Damn!
The most stunning part was how few people mentioned it.
Well shit. Maybe I should just take a picture of a blow-up doll's head and use that on my profile instead. :P
Although the X-Men fan wants to set up a Marvel movie date, that could be cool. And Beardy McMusician has deigned to forgive me ICP. Feeling really special about that. :lulz:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:44:25 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:41:59 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:37:04 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:36:25 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:14:30 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:10:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 06:58:44 PM
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
:lulz: I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.
I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.
okCupid is never-ending hilarity. :D :D :D I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.
I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.
Damn!
The most stunning part was how few people mentioned it.
Well shit. Maybe I should just take a picture of a blow-up doll's head and use that on my profile instead. :P
Although the X-Men fan wants to set up a Marvel movie date, that could be cool. And Beardy McMusician has deigned to forgive me ICP. Feeling really special about that. :lulz:
How
generous of him! :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: and yes, you should totally make your pics all just a bunch of shots of blow-up dolls.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 15, 2013, 07:44:36 PM
So, keeps you up all night and makes you pray for death?
Haha. Omg. Such encounters are what we hide from in the dark of the night.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:44:25 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:41:59 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:37:04 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:36:25 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:14:30 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 07:10:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 06:58:44 PM
Today on okCupid : CPD gets hit on by bi married women looking for threesomes with their husbands . . . who want me to put them on speed dial and give them special ringtones for spontaneous 'romantic opportunities'.
:lulz: I love it when these people act like you should be flattered they asked.
I love it when they get offended that you don't want to drop everything for a 'personal, in-person interview' after you politely decline their generous offer. And they either 1. offer you money or 2. call you a 'fake bi bitch' and stomp off in a pout.
okCupid is never-ending hilarity. :D :D :D I'm tempted to put a picture up of me in ICP clown make-up just to see what happens.
I did that. Tip: it affects nothing.
Damn!
The most stunning part was how few people mentioned it.
Well shit. Maybe I should just take a picture of a blow-up doll's head and use that on my profile instead. :P
Although the X-Men fan wants to set up a Marvel movie date, that could be cool. And Beardy McMusician has deigned to forgive me ICP. Feeling really special about that. :lulz:
Some "secret stash" stores carry the Cyberskin body trunks that could prove to be quite the project if you needed a starting point.
:lulz:
QuoteMy self-summary
My father was a professional jewel thief, from the Dark parts of Asia, he suffered from wanting more out of life, but not willing to sully his high morals by actually working for it, rather whittle his days searching for willing women to bugger. My mother was a sixteen year old Japanese Geisha named Kumiko, a pretty, petite performer who suffered from club toes. Deformity aside, my mother was known for the minute control of her tongue muscles, and was famous globally for her articulation skills.
Not caring of the treasure he had at home with my mother, my father would seek women to sodomize, he drank to excess, he would boldly boast that he created the "Apostrophe", and that every Irishman and Scotsman owed him a fee for the use of an apostrophe in their last names. Most of the time, after his buggery and drinking reached his limit of biblical proportions, he would stare at us children in a drunken, lifeless stupor and attempt to lecture us of Einstein's mistakes with Relatively and how it controlled the world's weather patterns. It was the sort of evening that that any child would develop an imaginary life, where Mommy and Daddy were normal individuals.
My childhood was atypical for Asians, summers in Antarctica, Figure Skating lessons, making items for the Pottery Barn. In the spring we'd visit distant Polynesian relatives at war, find other distant Polynesian relatives, kill them and learn how to make shrunken heads. I once raised an eyebrow in defiance to my father. I quickly lowered my brow in fear as a cold sweat permeated my woolen military uniform that he demanded we wore every day. My father was one who espoused that a lesson is best learned in the quickest and most expedient nature possible. For my defiance, I was stuffed into a large burlap sack with five big Tom Cats found on the family property. The cats snuggled with me in that bag till my father proceeded to hit the bag with his walking stick riling up the kittens to little balls of fur, teeth, and claws. Needless to say, I never again questioned my father, the most wisest man I know. I can now say this without my facial tick activating.
My 13th birthday, I was given a tutor from Bali, a very pretty yet dominant instructor by the name of Bahiya. Bahiya instructed me in the ways of life and love that my father could not. I was introduced to the life of silk, and the sensation of fine material on my now hairless body that was daily manscaped by Bahiya. It was explained to me that in Bali, being hairless was next to being a God. Who am I to contradict that, in this life or the next. There is simply no greater feeling of silk on your hairless and oiled scrotum. Outside of actual sexual congress, that is.
I traveled all of Southeast Asia teaching orphans how to weave baskets in an intricate Brazilian manner, while searching for that elusive perfect beat to meld with Nirvana. Next year I'm planning to join the first manned space trip to Mars to open up a BMW dealership. Yeah, I'm that guy. But unlike most of the guys here, I don't have a problem getting dates. I would rather meet a girl that cares more about something serious than clubbing or drinking and partying. Some don't get my sense of humor and think I'm a huge a**hole, and that's fine. If you don't have a fine sense of snarky, we'd probably not get along. (I'm really just a little bit of an a**hole) I can be brutally honest, and always tell the truth. You can trust me. I like big butts, and I cannot lie.
Reading some of your (Ladies) profiles, I'm seeing you get a lot of men asking to be your personal slave, to cater to every whim and desire, whether it be legal in 39 states or not. I don't really get this, and it's beyond messed up! What is wrong with people today?
Conversely, if you have an urge to be my slave, there may be a vacancy. But be forewarned, you'd have to do dirty things not fit for a genteel woman to do. Some of which include getting me a subway sandwich late at night, then doing some laundry. Or vice versa. I get hungry after doing laundry. Being a good cook is a plus!
For all that, I'm pretty easy going, as long as I get my way. The only way I'd be more awesome is if Morgan Freeman was doing play by play commentary on my life.
Seriously, no more exotic dancers (former or current) message me please! Or for that matter, girls with implants, Scorpios, Leos, and Capricorns. While being around you makes life interesting, you are all nothing but trouble and it never works. Beauty fades, so don't expect to be able to get whatever you want from me because you're hot. What's really rare is a girl who has personality, good energy, and has a great outlook on life. And let's me get away with stuff.
Finally, don't IM me if you can't spell or read. I am done with women who are only beautiful on the outside and nothing else.
Finally, a keeper!
Omg CPD, my panties are drenched, dont let this jewel go! hes the one!
Imagine, selling bmws in mars (and tomorrow, in Saturn!)
I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing that he lifted the structure from Austin Powers.
It wouldn't shock me if that was one of you bastards. :lol:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 19, 2014, 02:54:31 PM
I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing that he lifted the structure from Austin Powers.
Hey, he changed the question mark to an apostrophe... that's
effort.
okCupid is a magical place.
This guy has been messaging me on okCupid. He says he's married but he's "looking for females to exchange e-mails and chats, perhaps we can be friends." The weird part comes in where he has the same last name as my boss and looks sorta like him. That way lies madness.
The other guys all want to go on about how worldly they are and how a quick bang ain't no thang and yeah. :P
QuoteThe first things people usually notice about me
I'm just a human costume filled with bees. If you get real close and listen, you can hear them buzzing around inside of me.
:lulz:
Need help with your profile?
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:29:21 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 18, 2014, 07:12:18 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 18, 2014, 07:06:04 PM
Congrats: you can be a fucktoy if you wish!
(sardonic)
I'm tempted to do it and show up wrapped in latex with one of those anime masks on. But I think the point would be lost and I'd end up in the middle of a middle-aged bukkake.
....what the hell were you exactly invited to here?
I don't know about you, but when I read that my imagination didn't go anywhere near "blow-up doll." :lol:
got bored and couldn't let go of that ghetto appleton character, so I made him a profile
http://postimg.org/image/4qazgt5tr/
http://postimg.org/image/uy52s3q3p/
I tried to walk that fine ebonics line between hilarious and incredibly annoying, apologies for any cringing it may cause.
Couple of highlights for the
lazybusy:
Quote
My self-summary
WATAP bitches dis Hoody from da Suth Side Appleton we finn hook up err dey! i giv u dat D lik u no u want. so hit me up
shout out 2 my HOMIES n thugs from da a-town! we b holdin it DOWN in dis biatch!
Quote
I spend a lot of time thinking about
bitches n hose
taco bell chalupas
dat CHEDDA
how 2 get dat purple drank stane out my mommas couch
the dichotomy of good and evil
Quote
The most private thing I'm willing to admit
yo my moms be kinda sexy ya no?
Quote from: trix on July 10, 2014, 04:47:13 PM
got bored and couldn't let go of that ghetto appleton character, so I made him a profile
http://postimg.org/image/4qazgt5tr/
http://postimg.org/image/uy52s3q3p/
I tried to walk that fine ebonics line between hilarious and incredibly annoying, apologies for any cringing it may cause.
Couple of highlights for the lazybusy:
Quote
My self-summary
WATAP bitches dis Hoody from da Suth Side Appleton we finn hook up err dey! i giv u dat D lik u no u want. so hit me up
shout out 2 my HOMIES n thugs from da a-town! we b holdin it DOWN in dis biatch!
Quote
I spend a lot of time thinking about
bitches n hose
taco bell chalupas
dat CHEDDA
how 2 get dat purple drank stane out my mommas couch
the dichotomy of good and evil
Quote
The most private thing I'm willing to admit
yo my moms be kinda sexy ya no?
:lulz: That's horrible and hilarious.
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on July 13, 2014, 07:00:08 AM
:lulz: That's horrible and hilarious.
Heh what is horrible is the guy in that picture would believe it was really his profile. If he came across it he'd likely go "when da fuck did I live in Appleton?" and spend 20 minutes trying to remember his password to log into that account before he gave up and stopped caring.
Quote from: trix on July 10, 2014, 04:47:13 PM
got bored and couldn't let go of that ghetto appleton character, so I made him a profile
http://postimg.org/image/4qazgt5tr/
http://postimg.org/image/uy52s3q3p/
I tried to walk that fine ebonics line between hilarious and incredibly annoying, apologies for any cringing it may cause.
Couple of highlights for the lazybusy:
Quote
My self-summary
WATAP bitches dis Hoody from da Suth Side Appleton we finn hook up err dey! i giv u dat D lik u no u want. so hit me up
shout out 2 my HOMIES n thugs from da a-town! we b holdin it DOWN in dis biatch!
Quote
I spend a lot of time thinking about
bitches n hose
taco bell chalupas
dat CHEDDA
how 2 get dat purple drank stane out my mommas couch
the dichotomy of good and evil
Quote
The most private thing I'm willing to admit
yo my moms be kinda sexy ya no?
:lulz:
it's all about the bitches and hose, yo.
(http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0120a5a5ab09970b-600wi)
The derp on that dog's face is priceless.