As DOUR is bleeding from the eyes due to an overdose of future and Tucson, I am taking this opportunity to usurp oust seize for my own ends offer my humble services as a replacement Prophet.
Now I'm not as accurate as DOUR, nor as polite and tolerant of the horrors the your various futures hold.
So step right up one and all. Your future happiness, health, wealth, horrific disfiguring injuries, mistaken lottery wins and reasons for your untimely death (and in more than one instance, murder) are just a question away. Future joys and woes exposed for the low, low price of my own amusement. Do you want to know more? Of course you do!
Here's a freebie - One of you gets molested by an iguana this year. In the ear.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Who would win in a fight between Superman,Batman,Spiderman, and the Incredible Hulk?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 07, 2014, 01:24:35 PM
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Sadly this shall never be possible.
LMNO will be fortunate enough to survive the coming incident this year with 3rd degree burns covering only his thighs and shins. I say "survive" he's never really the same again. His fabulous gland takes a beating after an ill advised hat-purchasing spree eventually forces him to purchase a classic Australian cork hat. Little will he know that said hat actually harbours an ancient aboriginal curse which causes him to act and behave like Paul Hogan in 1989.
His untimely death in late 2026 in the Australian outback eventually makes into folk legend and even a song. It's not the kind of song you can sing in front of your grandparents or minors. In fact, singing it in front of minors is an offence punishable by 25 years hard labour in the mines. This is what will pass for "Irony" in future Australia.
You'll never hear the phrase "put a shrimp on the barbie" the same way again.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
What does the future hold for me, Oh great prophet Junkenstein?!
Quote from: /b/earman on February 07, 2014, 01:26:05 PM
Who would win in a fight between Superman,Batman,Spiderman, and the Incredible Hulk?
Batman, because the laws of DC dictate Batman as the ultimate winner of anything on a long enough timescale. This was established via "Bat math"
(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.5016724875248071&pid=15.1)
However, popularity of all of the above involved will decline steadily over the next 10 years culminating in arrests for child trafficking and pornography. 2025 privacy law changes allow papparazi to interview criminals while the police interview is also occurring. This was seen as the great start of the real "Trial by media" age where One device = One Vote. Justice shops with children working multiple devices will allow real time collation of public feeling and allow prosecutors and judges to pass appropriate sentences without needing to worry about whether the public will find such sentences acceptable. By this point the concept of "Defence" is pretty much non existent. You don't end up in court if your not guilty so you sure as hell best brush your hair, brush your teeth, best suit on and look innocent. It won't save you, but it may get you a lesser sentence or charge.
/b/earman will be one of the first to undergo this radical revision in justice and you'll be able to watch his televised execution for jaywalking in January 2026.
Quote from: Cain on February 07, 2014, 02:08:32 PM
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
9.
Though in the future after the radiation levels subside there will be two seperate species respectively able to chuck 13 and 4.
The "4"s are sold as pets to privileged children.
The "13" eat privileged children. It takes a surprising length of time until they are eventually banned will a mail-in campaign of children's bones being the eventual cause for change.
Quote from: :regret: on February 07, 2014, 02:08:46 PM
What does the future hold for me, Oh great prophet Junkenstein?!
I am so, so sorry.
You're the Iguana guy.
What's the second half of the joke?
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 10:34:25 AM
Here's a freebie - One of you gets molested by an iguana this year. In the ear.
Cold reading alert, phoney - of course this is going to be accurate, with the sheer quantity of iguana ear molestation.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on February 07, 2014, 03:03:13 PM
What's the second half of the joke?
The second half of the joke is ultimately revealed shortly after DOUR's demise from syphilis mid 2052. The subsequent release of the joke to the general public results in mass depression worldwide as that was pretty much the only thing left to look forward to. The resulting "Great slump" of 2052-69 is memorable for fuck all and will later be understood to in fact be, DOUR's final joke. No one laughs.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on February 07, 2014, 03:04:50 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 10:34:25 AM
Here's a freebie - One of you gets molested by an iguana this year. In the ear.
Cold reading alert, phoney - of course this is going to be accurate, with the sheer quantity of iguana ear molestation.
EOC will remain bitter about being deposed from the throne of MEXICO until his incarceration in Gitmo in 2032. After this, other more pressing problems will occupy his thoughts. He is eventually released to worldwide apathy in 2038 on the grounds he was never actually charged with anything. The ruler of MEXICO at the time later has him imprisoned on a small island in a style not dissimilar to Napoleon. This mainly happens out of pity and is used against MEXICO by COLUMBIA in 2044. Fun times are not had.
Do me.
I'd like a prognostication.
Quote from: 3n1g on February 07, 2014, 05:56:46 PM
Do me.
You come out with a couple of moderately decent posts in about 3 years. That's pretty much the high point.
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on February 07, 2014, 06:01:46 PM
I'd like a prognostication.
Twids spiritual exploitations eventually lead him back to a rather extreme branch of the Roman Catholic Church. The 2029 earthquake in Vatican City convinces a sizeable number that God is displeased and the Schism occurs. Ending up in a "man behind the man behind the man" position enables him to live a lifestyle of relative luxury in a secure compound.
Being in a secure compound with 2029 heavily armed version of the Westboro Roman catholic church is pretty much exactly as pleasant as it sounds however.
Those closest to him write a "I knew him when" book and make a sizeable profit from talk shows.
Tell me.
Okay. Show me what you got, hot stuff.
Hook a girl up.
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 07:38:19 PM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on February 07, 2014, 06:01:46 PM
I'd like a prognostication.
Twids spiritual exploitations eventually lead him back to a rather extreme branch of the Roman Catholic Church. The 2029 earthquake in Vatican City convinces a sizeable number that God is displeased and the Schism occurs. Ending up in a "man behind the man behind the man" position enables him to live a lifestyle of relative luxury in a secure compound.
Being in a secure compound with 2029 heavily armed version of the Westboro Roman catholic church is pretty much exactly as pleasant as it sounds however.
Those closest to him write a "I knew him when" book and make a sizeable profit from talk shows.
I suppose I always wanted fame.
Why does my breath smell like cat food?
Who's your pick for next Mexico?
Let's hear it.
Who will win the World Cup?
Quote from: Alty on February 07, 2014, 11:09:49 PM
Tell me.
Alty eventually corners the Alaskan yoga market with an accessible franchise setup which proceeds to make him literally tens of dollars. This success allows him to corner the market further and convince people that he is entitled to some kind of royalty for anything involving stretching at work. Certification schemes and a new era of H+S in relaxation come to a head in around 2045 with people having to fill in forms after yawning.
Alty is pleased by his doings and dies unexpectedly involving a hang-glider and burlesque show.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on February 08, 2014, 02:13:53 AM
Okay. Show me what you got, hot stuff.
CPD is arrested after a short spree as the "deep fried murderess" around 2026. Previous experiences dealing with the general population lead to a mental break in which everything would be somehow better if boiled in oil for a while.
Due to "My Kitchen - My rules" legislation introduced after the Martha Stewart trial, the judge has little choice but to acquit and award her a medal and small appearance fee.
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Sacs on February 08, 2014, 03:18:12 AM
Hook a girl up.
Nigel enjoys brief political fame and small election success despite wanting it around 2024. While a newspaper darling for about 6 weeks, they eventually realise that she's just not going to stop.
Vicious hatchet jobs occur on all sides leading to Nigel eventually having to flee to the free federated states of Italy in 2026. Despite repeated requests for extradition the Italian authorities never quite get around to it and most of the butthurt subsides by 2028.
Needless to say, history repeats in 2032.
Quote from: /b/earman on February 08, 2014, 06:07:20 AM
Why does my breath smell like cat food?
Your loved ones have been feeding you cat food. They find it funny. So do I.
Why
will your breath smell like cat food? Because you'll learn to like it and eventually use it to make money in bar bets. It takes a few years, but you eventually earn a nice living out of it.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 08, 2014, 03:15:34 PM
Who will win the World Cup?
Coca-Cola, Mcdonalds and various other corporate entities. Just like every other one.
Quote from: Waffleman on February 08, 2014, 09:33:36 AM
Let's hear it.
Waffles writes his autobiography "I know fucking everyone" in 2033 making outlandish claims linking him to practically every celebrity of the past 50 years. While an elaborate hoax, the media and said celebrities desperate to extend their 15 seconds take kindly to his claims and proceed to manufacture evidence linking themselves to him.
This spirals and leads to his eventual assassination in 2035 by a lone gunman who claims that the entire idea was his and it is, in fact him who knew the various people. Evidence proving such is suppressed to give conspiracy theorists something to try and complicate further just to see how convoluted it can get.
The "Truth" is declassified in 2095 and is widely regarded as fabricated.
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on February 08, 2014, 03:47:07 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 07:38:19 PM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on February 07, 2014, 06:01:46 PM
I'd like a prognostication.
Twids spiritual exploitations eventually lead him back to a rather extreme branch of the Roman Catholic Church. The 2029 earthquake in Vatican City convinces a sizeable number that God is displeased and the Schism occurs. Ending up in a "man behind the man behind the man" position enables him to live a lifestyle of relative luxury in a secure compound.
Being in a secure compound with 2029 heavily armed version of the Westboro Roman catholic church is pretty much exactly as pleasant as it sounds however.
Those closest to him write a "I knew him when" book and make a sizeable profit from talk shows.
I suppose I always wanted fame.
Follow up questions:
Do I eventually get canonized for spurious reasons, if so, what I am the patron saint of, and are the 2029 Vatican guard Swiss Cyborgs? Oh God, is Weltburger one of the Swissborgs?
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 08, 2014, 09:36:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Sacs on February 08, 2014, 03:18:12 AM
Hook a girl up.
Nigel enjoys brief political fame and small election success despite wanting it around 2024. While a newspaper darling for about 6 weeks, they eventually realise that she's just not going to stop.
Vicious hatchet jobs occur on all sides leading to Nigel eventually having to flee to the free federated states of Italy in 2026. Despite repeated requests for extradition the Italian authorities never quite get around to it and most of the butthurt subsides by 2028.
Needless to say, history repeats in 2032.
:lulz:
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 08, 2014, 09:47:49 PM
Quote from: Waffleman on February 08, 2014, 09:33:36 AM
Let's hear it.
Waffles writes his autobiography "I know fucking everyone" in 2033 making outlandish claims linking him to practically every celebrity of the past 50 years. While an elaborate hoax, the media and said celebrities desperate to extend their 15 seconds take kindly to his claims and proceed to manufacture evidence linking themselves to him.
This spirals and leads to his eventual assassination in 2035 by a lone gunman who claims that the entire idea was his and it is, in fact him who knew the various people. Evidence proving such is suppressed to give conspiracy theorists something to try and complicate further just to see how convoluted it can get.
The "Truth" is declassified in 2095 and is widely regarded as fabricated.
:lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on February 09, 2014, 04:12:45 AM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on February 08, 2014, 03:47:07 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 07:38:19 PM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on February 07, 2014, 06:01:46 PM
I'd like a prognostication.
Twids spiritual exploitations eventually lead him back to a rather extreme branch of the Roman Catholic Church. The 2029 earthquake in Vatican City convinces a sizeable number that God is displeased and the Schism occurs. Ending up in a "man behind the man behind the man" position enables him to live a lifestyle of relative luxury in a secure compound.
Being in a secure compound with 2029 heavily armed version of the Westboro Roman catholic church is pretty much exactly as pleasant as it sounds however.
Those closest to him write a "I knew him when" book and make a sizeable profit from talk shows.
I suppose I always wanted fame.
Follow up questions:
Do I eventually get canonized for spurious reasons, if so, what I am the patron saint of, and are the 2029 Vatican guard Swiss Cyborgs? Oh God, is Weltburger one of the Swissborgs?
Yes, Gin, yes and No.
Pretty sure on that order.
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 10:34:25 AM
As DOUR is bleeding from the eyes due to an overdose of future and Tucson, I am taking this opportunity to usurp oust seize for my own ends offer my humble services as a replacement Prophet.
Oh, outstanding. The job is yours.
muhaha
I'd also like to note that allayous bastards that posted in this thread, despite not asking MY spiritual advice in recent memory on account of "you couldn't be arsed", well fuck the lot of you. In fact, you all get 30 DAYS OF TUCSON, starting immediately upon you reading this.
Snub a prophet the moment he gets a little godsmack, will you? Oh, I know a trick worth two of that!
Venomously venomously,
Roger
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 10, 2014, 05:01:41 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 10:34:25 AM
As DOUR is bleeding from the eyes due to an overdose of future and Tucson, I am taking this opportunity to usurp oust seize for my own ends offer my humble services as a replacement Prophet.
Oh, outstanding. The job is yours.
muhaha
Fine, I was going to keep the hat anyway.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 10, 2014, 05:04:53 PM
I'd also like to note that allayous bastards that posted in this thread, despite not asking MY spiritual advice in recent memory on account of "you couldn't be arsed", well fuck the lot of you. In fact, you all get 30 DAYS OF TUCSON, starting immediately upon you reading this.
Snub a prophet the moment he gets a little godsmack, will you? Oh, I know a trick worth two of that!
Venomously venomously,
Roger
That's not why your advice is not asked. It is that everyone who receives your advice kills themselves. Painfully. With a crate of sodabottles.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 10, 2014, 05:04:53 PM
I'd also like to note that allayous bastards that posted in this thread, despite not asking MY spiritual advice in recent memory on account of "you couldn't be arsed", well fuck the lot of you. In fact, you all get 30 DAYS OF TUCSON, starting immediately upon you reading this.
Snub a prophet the moment he gets a little godsmack, will you? Oh, I know a trick worth two of that!
Venomously venomously,
Roger
A whole thirty days? Shit. That's the point of no return....
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 10, 2014, 05:04:53 PM
I'd also like to note that allayous bastards that posted in this thread, despite not asking MY spiritual advice in recent memory on account of "you couldn't be arsed", well fuck the lot of you. In fact, you all get 30 DAYS OF TUCSON, starting immediately upon you reading this.
Snub a prophet the moment he gets a little godsmack, will you? Oh, I know a trick worth two of that!
Venomously venomously,
Roger
TUSCON ME, HOLY MAN!
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 10, 2014, 05:04:53 PM
I'd also like to note that allayous bastards that posted in this thread, despite not asking MY spiritual advice in recent memory on account of "you couldn't be arsed", well fuck the lot of you. In fact, you all get 30 DAYS OF TUCSON, starting immediately upon you reading this.
Snub a prophet the moment he gets a little godsmack, will you? Oh, I know a trick worth two of that!
Venomously venomously,
Roger
Today is my first day of enduring 30 days of Tucson.
So far today:
A (woman, probably) in what can best be described as a 5th hand fake fur coat appeared in the yard demanding car batteries. Because reasons. Needless to say, we don't have them. This was obviously a cunning ruse to keep all the batteries for myself. Being directed to one of the numerous breakers yards (There are 2 literally within sight of the place) the complaints about "Customer service" began.
Being told that:
"You are not my customer. You will never be my customer. You are wasting my time." is apparently offensive and a letter of complaint is on the way. No prizes for guessing who runs the complaints department.
Then all craneage got cancelled because wind. We may get 20-30 minutes today. Smallest lift to be completed will take approximately 6 hours. I get to have the meeting later slowly explaining standing time costs on a 750T crane.
That sound? It's laughter, I promise.
(http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa66/dracolupus/Tucson_zps5a85e192.jpeg)
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 10, 2014, 05:04:53 PM
I'd also like to note that allayous bastards that posted in this thread, despite not asking MY spiritual advice in recent memory on account of "you couldn't be arsed", well fuck the lot of you. In fact, you all get 30 DAYS OF TUCSON, starting immediately upon you reading this.
Snub a prophet the moment he gets a little godsmack, will you? Oh, I know a trick worth two of that!
Venomously venomously,
Roger
Hahahahahhaha I can't hear Tuscon over the sound of Rick Perry's tears!
Ah yes, the synchronised twerk-off. A magnificent sight.
(http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa66/dracolupus/Tucson_zps2b961827.jpeg)
We are covered in a thin layer of ice. It looks deceptively peaceful. Until you look up the street and see the cars stacked like a broken Tetris game. Also, the power keeps going off and on.
When the Pepsi runs out, I'll have to venture forth to Ye Olde Gas Station on foot.
If this is Tucson, the scorpions and javalinas need winter coats.
On my third day in Tucson and employee has been exceptionally shitty and decided to try and give me a bad time.
Said employee has commited 250+ speeding offences of 90MPH+ (often 100+), since January. Got pretty solid proof of that too seeing as it was in a tracked van.
He's sending emails. He seems a little upset. I can't stop laughing. This would be the easiest promotion ever for a copper.
4th Day in Tucson.
Employee with multiple speeding offences appears to be on crack. Seems to think sending abusive e-mails is the best way to deal with a bad situation.
No. It is not. By the gods I'll have some fun with this simple fucker.
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 14, 2014, 01:03:20 PM
4th Day in Tucson.
Employee with multiple speeding offences appears to be on crack. Seems to think sending abusive e-mails is the best way to deal with a bad situation.
No. It is not. By the gods I'll have some fun with this simple fucker.
Today in Tucson Prime, it was 85F. In metric, that's "balmy".
Day 5 in Tucson. Roger able to still glare from both eyes. Road rage attack about half a mile from my house. 1 guy dead, 1 guy being arrested.
I have a sneaking suspicion that guy being arrested is idiot employee. Week is just too stupid for it not to be.
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 15, 2014, 12:06:40 PM
Day 5 in Tucson. Roger able to still glare from both eyes. Road rage attack about half a mile from my house. 1 guy dead, 1 guy being arrested.
I have a sneaking suspicion that guy being arrested is idiot employee. Week is just too stupid for it not to be.
Only 25 days to go. :lulz:
In the days since Tuscon came to Norway, we've lost our snow, the dog fears the outside, I've started listening to Biohazard again, and did I mention ALL THE SNOW HAS DISAPPEARED? NOT MELTED. DISAPPEARED.
Quote from: Waffleman on February 15, 2014, 05:30:40 PM
In the days since Tuscon came to Norway, we've lost our snow, the dog fears the outside, I've started listening to Biohazard again, and did I mention ALL THE SNOW HAS DISAPPEARED? NOT MELTED. DISAPPEARED.
It's being stored in the 9th dimension. It will all be given back when you have a little more than you can handle.
Day in Tucson number unknown. Time no longer appears linear.
New employee due to start at 8. Just had a text "Can't do days so will go straight on to nights".
No, no you won't. There's literally dozens of other people with your exact qualifications and experience. I picked your name from a hat. Luckily I anticipated this event so kept said hat.
Seriously, if you're going to fuck off/up your first day working somewhere at least let them fucking know promptly. This is not complicated.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 15, 2014, 05:26:15 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 15, 2014, 12:06:40 PM
Day 5 in Tucson. Roger able to still glare from both eyes. Road rage attack about half a mile from my house. 1 guy dead, 1 guy being arrested.
I have a sneaking suspicion that guy being arrested is idiot employee. Week is just too stupid for it not to be.
Only 25 days to go. :lulz:
[/quote
That's the thing. No matter what happens, Roger will retain the ability to glare from ALL HIS EYES.
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 17, 2014, 05:22:49 PM
That's the thing. No matter what happens, Roger will retain the ability to glare from ALL HIS EYES.
All 3 of 'em.
Time broke in Tucson. It's flowing everywhere.
Idiot Contractor with a final, ultimate, cannot be broken, will not be broken, project critical, it's totally nearly done guy, date of the 21st requests time extension. To period unknown. Liabilities for liquidated damages explained. Scary numbers. Numbers he didn't really understand. Didn't really understand what Liable means. Or Liquidated damages.
I don't think I'll ever hear or see him ever again. Client a little upset. It was his in-house tame contractor.
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 18, 2014, 07:15:35 PM
Time broke in Tucson. It's flowing everywhere.
Idiot Contractor with a final, ultimate, cannot be broken, will not be broken, project critical, it's totally nearly done guy, date of the 21st requests time extension. To period unknown. Liabilities for liquidated damages explained. Scary numbers. Numbers he didn't really understand. Didn't really understand what Liable means. Or Liquidated damages.
I don't think I'll ever hear or see him ever again. Client a little upset. It was his in-house tame contractor.
Can't anyone read a contract?
I shit my pants and I liked it!
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 19, 2014, 12:58:29 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 18, 2014, 07:15:35 PM
Time broke in Tucson. It's flowing everywhere.
Idiot Contractor with a final, ultimate, cannot be broken, will not be broken, project critical, it's totally nearly done guy, date of the 21st requests time extension. To period unknown. Liabilities for liquidated damages explained. Scary numbers. Numbers he didn't really understand. Didn't really understand what Liable means. Or Liquidated damages.
I don't think I'll ever hear or see him ever again. Client a little upset. It was his in-house tame contractor.
Can't anyone read a contract?
Apparently not. Given that the place is haemorrhaging horrific amounts of money daily, it's pretty well understood. Emergency shut-down yesterday sent approx £150 million up the flare stack. That's £150 million in a whole production pipeline literally up in smoke. It'll take about 10 days to get the place turned back on again. Pretty much all non-essential personnel off-site.
It seems that the place runs fine at about 70% but isn't too clever at 100%. They're going straight back to 100% output to minimise losses.
No-one sees the potential flaw in the plan.
Quote from: /b/earman on February 19, 2014, 03:50:34 AM
I shit my pants and I liked it!
You will eventually turn this into a lucrative career in the adult entertainment industry. Turns out it's part of your retirement plan.
3rd day in Tucson.
I had to explain the difference between a link on your desktop and a file on your desktop. Again. To four coworkers, 2 of which are assistant supervisors. One of those is a PC gaming addict.
6th day of Tucson.
Workload quintupled. Half my workers are sick, half of what is left is untrained.
8th dat of Tucson.
Some coworkers seem convinced there is a teleporter or matter desintegrator in the watercooler because they keep dumping every first cup of water into the driptray when there is clearly no drainpipe coming out of the freestanding watercooler. They do this while standing in a puddle of water.
I just got to work but i can't remember the last time i was somewhere else.
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 19, 2014, 08:35:59 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 19, 2014, 12:58:29 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 18, 2014, 07:15:35 PM
Time broke in Tucson. It's flowing everywhere.
Idiot Contractor with a final, ultimate, cannot be broken, will not be broken, project critical, it's totally nearly done guy, date of the 21st requests time extension. To period unknown. Liabilities for liquidated damages explained. Scary numbers. Numbers he didn't really understand. Didn't really understand what Liable means. Or Liquidated damages.
I don't think I'll ever hear or see him ever again. Client a little upset. It was his in-house tame contractor.
Can't anyone read a contract?
Apparently not. Given that the place is haemorrhaging horrific amounts of money daily, it's pretty well understood. Emergency shut-down yesterday sent approx £150 million up the flare stack. That's £150 million in a whole production pipeline literally up in smoke. It'll take about 10 days to get the place turned back on again. Pretty much all non-essential personnel off-site.
It seems that the place runs fine at about 70% but isn't too clever at 100%. They're going straight back to 100% output to minimise losses.
No-one sees the potential flaw in the plan.
:lulz:
I think you and I have been talking about the same company. :lulz:
It wouldn't shock me and it would explain SO MUCH.
Bump.
I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Bump.
I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.
Roger has been running madly in circles, screaming at contractors and a fatass engineer andmaybedrinkingalittletoomuchshutup.
Sometimes, Tucson needs me more than you guys do.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 18, 2014, 08:53:28 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Bump.
I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.
Roger has been running madly in circles, screaming at contractors and a fatass engineer andmaybedrinkingalittletoomuchshutup.
Not provoked by the new scrote by any chance?
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 10:34:25 AM
As DOUR is bleeding from the eyes due to an overdose of future and Tucson, I am taking this opportunity to usurp oust seize for my own ends offer my humble services as a replacement Prophet.
Now I'm not as accurate as DOUR, nor as polite and tolerant of the horrors the your various futures hold.
So step right up one and all. Your future happiness, health, wealth, horrific disfiguring injuries, mistaken lottery wins and reasons for your untimely death (and in more than one instance, murder) are just a question away. Future joys and woes exposed for the low, low price of my own amusement. Do you want to know more? Of course you do!
Here's a freebie - One of you gets molested by an iguana this year. In the ear.
How delightful. Oo
They are highly aggressive creatures, arent they?
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 08:58:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 18, 2014, 08:53:28 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Bump.
I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.
Roger has been running madly in circles, screaming at contractors and a fatass engineer andmaybedrinkingalittletoomuchshutup.
Not provoked by the new scrote by any chance?
No. Provoked by new guy checking the gap on an 18000 RPM classifier. While he is doing this, German dude enables system diagnostics. Classifier goes to full RPM about 2 seconds after Andrew had removed his hand.
I am conducting remedial lockout tagout training for everyone involved for the next 6 hours. Over and over and over again.
Fuckers, this is 1st year apprentice shit. Fuck, first DAY apprentice shit.
Andrew is still stupid. This is all on German dude.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 18, 2014, 09:51:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 08:58:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 18, 2014, 08:53:28 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Bump.
I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.
Roger has been running madly in circles, screaming at contractors and a fatass engineer andmaybedrinkingalittletoomuchshutup.
Not provoked by the new scrote by any chance?
No. Provoked by new guy checking the gap on an 18000 RPM classifier. While he is doing this, German dude enables system diagnostics. Classifier goes to full RPM about 2 seconds after Andrew had removed his hand.
I am conducting remedial lockout tagout training for everyone involved for the next 6 hours. Over and over and over again.
Fuckers, this is 1st year apprentice shit. Fuck, first DAY apprentice shit.
Andrew is still stupid. This is all on German dude.
Hot damn, that is some fucked-up JUST NO. :eek:
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 18, 2014, 11:12:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 18, 2014, 09:51:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 08:58:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 18, 2014, 08:53:28 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Bump.
I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.
Roger has been running madly in circles, screaming at contractors and a fatass engineer andmaybedrinkingalittletoomuchshutup.
Not provoked by the new scrote by any chance?
No. Provoked by new guy checking the gap on an 18000 RPM classifier. While he is doing this, German dude enables system diagnostics. Classifier goes to full RPM about 2 seconds after Andrew had removed his hand.
I am conducting remedial lockout tagout training for everyone involved for the next 6 hours. Over and over and over again.
Fuckers, this is 1st year apprentice shit. Fuck, first DAY apprentice shit.
Andrew is still stupid. This is all on German dude.
Hot damn, that is some fucked-up JUST NO. :eek:
I just finished part I of remedial training. Tomorrow is part II. Except for Andrew, whom I gave the day off so he can clean the poop out of his pants.