Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Literate Chaotic => Topic started by: Great Teacher Largo on April 08, 2005, 10:53:57 am

Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Great Teacher Largo on April 08, 2005, 10:53:57 am
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here (http://bash.org?24262).


Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch
ACT 1, SCENE 1

The setting is a computer hardware shop.  Rows of parts are on shelves.  Audigy is on a shelf near to the front, looking cute.

Boo enters from stage left, looks around.

Audigy:  Buy me!  I'm ever so sexy, for I output in 7.1 channels, with crystal quality and hardware MP3 encoding and decoding!

Boo:  Audigy, my love!  Come home with me, and together we will sample such marvels of musical delight as none before us have known!

Audigy:  I love you, Boo!

Boo:  I love you, Audigy!

Boo and Audigy exit stage left.

ACT 1, SCENE 2

Boo:  There, my darling, how is that?  It's the PCI slot you wanted, with the greatest cooling, and I even put in a much larger PSU, just incase you had a desire for more juice.  Now, let us sample-

Boo is cut off by Audigy.

Audigy:  LET JESUS FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WITH LLAMAS, SON OF A FRENCH FUCKER!

Audigy begins to trash Boo's computer, playing noise across the PCI Bus.

Hard Drive:  Mein leben!  Nein!  Neeeeein!

Hard Drive head crashes and falls over.

Audigy:  BLARG!  AUUUGH!  YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL, PRIEST!  FUCK ME!

Modem:  Me Necavit Nonne?!

Modem catches fire and burns.

Curtains close.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Sepia on April 08, 2005, 03:57:26 pm
Audigy sucks.


:)
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Horab Fibslager on April 08, 2005, 04:32:27 pm
my oem ac'97 pwnz j0 overpriced audigy.
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Lurker on April 08, 2005, 04:41:33 pm
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here (http://bash.org?24262).


Do you EVER shut up?
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Bella on April 08, 2005, 04:50:35 pm
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here (http://bash.org?24262).


Do you EVER shut up?

You're kidding, right?
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Lurker on April 08, 2005, 04:56:09 pm
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here (http://bash.org?24262).


Do you EVER shut up?

You're kidding, right?


No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Horab Fibslager on April 08, 2005, 04:57:13 pm
largo already has a website.

http://www.rcaston.com/
RCaston.com :: Now with 5 more mhz


eric.com would be more apprpriate by far.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Anonymous on April 08, 2005, 04:59:12 pm
Quote from: horab fibslager
largo already has a website.

http://www.rcaston.com/
RCaston.com :: Now with 5 more mhz


eric.com would be more apprpriate by far.


Whatever.  Does this guy ever sleep?  He posts nonsense in every single thread, and does it all day long.

The fucking retard just won't shut up.  Ever.
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Bella on April 08, 2005, 05:00:39 pm
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here (http://bash.org?24262).


Do you EVER shut up?

You're kidding, right?


No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?

I was being sarcastic. He never stops.
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Anonymous on April 08, 2005, 05:10:14 pm
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here (http://bash.org?24262).


Do you EVER shut up?

You're kidding, right?


No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?

I was being sarcastic. He never stops.


How do you stand it?
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2005, 05:59:24 pm
Quote from: Anonymous

How do you stand it?




::shrugs::

I use the best, I use the rest.
I use the enemy
I ingnore inanity!
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: CORNHOLIO on April 08, 2005, 09:41:17 pm
Quote from: Anonymous


How do you stand it?

I just pretend he is a teeny tiny little itty bitty gnat and that his words are farts, heh, HEHEHE, heh, then I go have some nachos and crapachino and then my bunghole it goes, rakakakakakaka, heh, heh, heh, then I remember that Roger likes me better then that gnat, heh, or something, or kill me :D
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Butthead on April 08, 2005, 09:41:46 pm
Quote from: CORNHOLIO
Quote from: Anonymous


How do you stand it?

I just pretend he is a teeny tiny little itty bitty gnat and that his words are farts, heh, HEHEHE, heh, then I go have some nachos and crapachino and then my bunghole it goes, rakakakakakaka, heh, heh, heh, then I remember that Roger likes me better then that gnat, heh, or something, or kill me :D


Huhuhuhuhuh...
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Butthead on April 08, 2005, 09:46:25 pm
This sucks like nothing has ever sucked before.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 08, 2005, 09:57:32 pm
got that right.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: CORNHOLIO on April 08, 2005, 10:08:33 pm
Quote from: Butthead
This sucks like nothing has ever sucked before.

naw, Nelson sucks this bad, heh, heh, heh
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Butthead on April 08, 2005, 10:09:56 pm
Quote from: CORNHOLIO
Quote from: Butthead
This sucks like nothing has ever sucked before.

naw, Nelson sucks this bad, heh, heh, heh



Uhhhh...no, not even Winger sucked this much.

This dude is the KING of suck.   There is none higher.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: CORNHOLIO on April 08, 2005, 10:37:17 pm
Quote from: Butthead
Quote from: CORNHOLIO
Quote from: Butthead
This sucks like nothing has ever sucked before.

naw, Nelson sucks this bad, heh, heh, heh



Uhhhh...no, not even Winger sucked this much.

This dude is the KING of suck.   There is none higher.

Don't you mean, like lower or something?
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: agent compassion on April 09, 2005, 03:56:10 am
If this sucked any harder, I could use it to vacuum my carpet.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: MadMa gentLemon on April 09, 2005, 10:18:45 am
Quote from: agent compassion
If this sucked any harder, I could use it to vacuum my carpet.


Well, you could use a Yanni song.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: agent compassion on April 09, 2005, 06:01:17 pm
Quote
Well, you could use a Yanni song.


That would require me to *shudder* purchase and listen to a Yanni song, when this drivel is right here, and mercifully silent. Yanni would give my birds heart attacks and then where would I be? Oh yeah, sending you a bill for two new parakeets for suggesting such a ghastly idea.

 8)
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: MadMa gentLemon on April 09, 2005, 08:20:30 pm
But he's so new age.  :twisted:
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: agent compassion on April 09, 2005, 10:17:23 pm
Quote
But he's so new age.


That's actually one word - "Newage" - to rhyme with "Sewage."

 :lol:
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: MadMa gentLemon on April 09, 2005, 11:04:48 pm
Quote from: agent compassion
Quote
But he's so new age.


That's actually one word - "Newage" - to rhyme with "Sewage."

 :lol:


What does "New Age" mean anyway? Anything that is unclassified goes into new age, but who puts Yanni in the same area as Infected Mushroom or Shpongle?? Damn that FYE. Damn them to hell.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 09, 2005, 11:23:55 pm
Yanni + beats & samples = something very similar to Shpongle

not a knock on Shpongle, you understand.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: MadMa gentLemon on April 09, 2005, 11:37:43 pm
the gnomes have learned a new way to say hooooraaaayyy!
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on April 11, 2005, 12:15:50 pm
Next person that mentions Yanni is going to be impaled on a broom stick.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on April 11, 2005, 04:45:56 pm
Yoni (http://www.yoni.com), not the guy guy who I must not name in order to not get impaled.
I always thought that was a weird name for a guy, even a pussy like him.
pun_intended
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 11, 2005, 10:08:42 pm
isn't yoni the hindu word for vagina?

so it makes total sense that a dude who's a total pussy would be named that.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: DJRubberducky on April 11, 2005, 11:39:40 pm
Yoni is also allegedly the Hebrew equivalent to Jonathan.

Allegations being made by my friend who took it as a persona name in Amtgard and confused enough snot out of enough people that if he'd done so on purpose, he'd've been qualified for sainthood.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on April 12, 2005, 06:06:22 am
Quote from: Se?得r Misterioso
isn't yoni the hindu word for vagina?

so it makes total sense that a dude who's a total pussy would be named that.
Did you click the link?  And you are the on who taught, albeit accidentally, to read the little letters, so I thought you would have read mine :roll:  and it is more than just vagina.  It is a spiritual concept having to do with doorways and openings.  Good job, Grasshopper 8)
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Horab Fibslager on April 12, 2005, 10:10:54 am
also, i fi recall my metaphyiscs, it also proably mean szero.


but i'm ptrobaly wrogn there.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 12, 2005, 03:23:10 pm
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Quote from: Se?得r Misterioso
isn't yoni the hindu word for vagina?

so it makes total sense that a dude who's a total pussy would be named that.
Did you click the link?  And you are the on who taught, albeit accidentally, to read the little letters, so I thought you would have read mine :roll:  and it is more than just vagina.  It is a spiritual concept having to do with doorways and openings.  Good job, Grasshopper 8)


actually, I didn't click hte link...I rarely do....and I almost NEVER read the small print.

*shrug*
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on April 12, 2005, 06:49:58 pm
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Yoni (http://www.yoni.com), not the guy guy who I must not name in order to not get impaled.
I always thought that was a weird name for a guy, even a pussy like him.
pun_intended


OK, things people missed if they didn't click the link.  And I made the letters huge instead of tiny.  

1 Vulva puppets
2 Vulva masks
3  (http://www.yoni.com/images/catart_r2_c1.jpg)
4  Boobie doll figurines
5  A whole bunch of menstrual stuff, don't blame you for wanting to miss that.
6  Goddess pendant
7  Stained glass goddess windows
8  Flowers, especially those that resemble vulva, which as far as I can tell is a lot of flowers
9  A whole lot of other stuff having to do with or resembling female genitalia.  See what you miss by not clicking?
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 12, 2005, 09:37:16 pm
sorry, it's just that I prefer to look at actual female genitalia as opposed to some flowers and things that just vaguely resemble them.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on April 12, 2005, 10:35:33 pm
Quote from: Se?得r Misterioso
sorry, it's just that I prefer to look at actual female genitalia as opposed to some flowers and things that just vaguely resemble them.

You have to sign up to the site to see actual genatalia, sorry, I have my own so I didn't check into that. :wink:

And come on, vulva puppets?  That is funny stuff.  I might get one.  It would give saying "talk to the hand" a whole other level of meaning :twisted:
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on April 13, 2005, 12:19:20 pm
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Quote from: Se?得r Misterioso
sorry, it's just that I prefer to look at actual female genitalia as opposed to some flowers and things that just vaguely resemble them.

You have to sign up to the site to see actual genatalia, sorry, I have my own so I didn't check into that. :wink:

And come on, vulva puppets?  That is funny stuff.  I might get one.  It would give saying "talk to the hand" a whole other level of meaning :twisted:


Vulva puppets is almost as fun as a "Vagina Masquerade"
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on April 13, 2005, 03:58:24 pm
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Quote from: Se?得r Misterioso
sorry, it's just that I prefer to look at actual female genitalia as opposed to some flowers and things that just vaguely resemble them.

You have to sign up to the site to see actual genatalia, sorry, I have my own so I didn't check into that. :wink:

And come on, vulva puppets?  That is funny stuff.  I might get one.  It would give saying "talk to the hand" a whole other level of meaning :twisted:


Vulva puppets is almost as fun as a "Vagina Masquerade"

Or the Vagina Monologues.  I also was thinking vulva puppets would make the Turkey Curse a lot more interesting :twisted:  Especially if you kept the gobble, gobble, gobble chant in. :twisted:
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: LMNO on April 13, 2005, 04:01:35 pm
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
 I also was thinking vulva puppets would make the Turkey Curse a lot more interesting :twisted:  Especially if you kept the gobble, gobble, gobble chant in. :twisted:



[pun]
This is the kind of forward thinking behavior I can really get into.
[/pun]
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 13, 2005, 06:39:28 pm
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Quote from: Se?得r Misterioso
sorry, it's just that I prefer to look at actual female genitalia as opposed to some flowers and things that just vaguely resemble them.

You have to sign up to the site to see actual genatalia, sorry, I have my own so I didn't check into that. :wink:

And come on, vulva puppets?  That is funny stuff.  I might get one.  It would give saying "talk to the hand" a whole other level of meaning :twisted:


Vulva puppets is almost as fun as a "Vagina Masquerade"

Or the Vagina Monologues.  I also was thinking vulva puppets would make the Turkey Curse a lot more interesting :twisted:  Especially if you kept the gobble, gobble, gobble chant in. :twisted:


IMHO, the Vagina Monologues were about as much fun as having bamboo splinters shoved under your fingernails...

but then, I don't have a vagina of my own.

I'm always borrowing one from one of the neighbors.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: MadMa gentLemon on April 14, 2005, 10:03:23 am
Asian women have horizontal vaginas.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Guido Finucci on April 14, 2005, 10:10:17 am
Quote from: Mad Magent Lemon
Asian women have horizontal vaginas.


How do you figure this?
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: MadMa gentLemon on April 14, 2005, 10:30:13 am
just common sense I thought
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 14, 2005, 03:19:58 pm
so which side is the clitoris on?
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: LMNO on April 14, 2005, 04:21:34 pm
Quote from: Se?得r Misterioso
so which side is the clitoris on?




[misogyny]

Who cares?

[/misogyny]
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 14, 2005, 05:33:26 pm
:lol:
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: LMNO on April 14, 2005, 05:41:25 pm
That quip might cost me my balls, but anything for a laugh, right?
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on April 15, 2005, 09:52:08 am
Quote from: Mad Magent Lemon
Asian women have horizontal vaginas.


Uh...no they fucking don't.

Trust me. I know.

-Irrev. Hugh

Knows certain things about anatomy and you shouldn't ask how or why.
Title: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 15, 2005, 03:20:00 pm
sure they do, provided they're laying on their side.

it's all a matter of perspective.

 8)
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Cain on December 30, 2009, 04:27:26 pm
I'm pretty sure the Asian "women" Hugh was talking about didn't have vaginas at all.
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on December 30, 2009, 04:33:21 pm
what the shit is this shitty shit

Have I ever mentioned how glad I am you guys cleaned house in this forum before I found my way here?
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2010, 05:26:03 pm
Sheer sadistic bump.

Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 28, 2010, 05:51:48 pm
Sheer sadistic bump.



 :horrormirth:
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Kai on April 28, 2010, 08:21:54 pm
Goddammit why.
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 28, 2010, 08:41:49 pm
Goddammit why.

I was unable to restrain myself.   :sad:
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Cain on June 04, 2011, 11:41:15 am
I'm pretty sure the Asian "women" Hugh was talking about didn't have vaginas at all.

Psychic powers ITT
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: BadBeast on June 05, 2011, 01:10:19 am
Bump. For Post-Cuntalist analysis.
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Freeky on June 05, 2011, 06:37:02 am
I'm pretty sure the Asian "women" Hugh was talking about didn't have vaginas at all.

Psychic powers ITT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Prince Glittersnatch III on June 06, 2011, 09:22:08 am
http://www.rcaston.com/

Dude still updates his site.
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 28, 2019, 07:41:46 pm
Your once-per-decade reminder that GTL existed.
Title: Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
Post by: Pergamos on August 30, 2019, 08:08:29 pm
He may have, but his site no longer does.