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Messages - Nephew Twiddleton

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1
Seems like the last time I posted in Open Bar was when Nullified came to Boston

-Quit my shitty second job
-I should be wrapping up my data collection for my master's this month
-I'm dragging on that because I've had a near continuous headache/neckache on the left side of my head for the past two weeks and have spent most of it on the couch. I went into the lab a couple of times, but since movement exacerbates everything, I'm real reluctant to take bumpy public transportation for 90 minutes each way. Doctor was unconcerned and I'm not dead yet so it's probably ok outside of the near continuous at best discomfort
-BUT! I might finally have a third professor for my committee
-I currently have a certain optimism that I'm suspicious of
-People sometimes ask me how married life is. It's exactly the same as cohabitating life except now I wear a ring. I suppose that's what happens when you wait 8 years to propose

2
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Things that inspire paranoia.
« on: January 15, 2020, 07:18:04 am »
https://apnews.com/4e57a0cff03de2198a0cf7b12665132f

This looks like a head-fake.
If they reported that security flaw, it likely means that they're holding a better one (or several) in reserve.  Either this one is too easily exploited by the Other Guys, and they didn't want the competition, or, possibly, it was deemed worth spending this exploit in exchange for political capital.

Sort of like when the mob helps you secure your house against cat-burglars.

Or they're installing one.

Oof. OOF.

3
Apple Talk / Re: WOMP-ertainment
« on: January 15, 2020, 07:14:50 am »
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

I used to host these parties, and on the TV I'd have a loop of my image folder playing on slideshow. When it got to C, there would be like 5 solid minutes of files called cramulus-something, so it was this concentrated dose of these WOMPs. It made some of my guests hate me. "why are there so many bad MS Paint jobs of you?" Because of WRATH, that's why.

I have an app on my phone now that does a better job of superimposing images, and I'm not really sure how to feel about that sometimes. Sometimes it's awesome, but sometimes I miss a good ole hack and paste

It's also worth mentioning that, as promised, "Cramulan" has become a negatively-connotation adjective in certain circles.  I have never explained what "cramulan" means (aside from it somehow referring to poor and/or evil business practices, and nobody wants to admit that they are the one person that doesn't know what it means, so people just use it.

 :lulz:
That's awesome

4
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: January 15, 2020, 07:10:43 am »
Meanwhile, I am once again forced to admit that Pelosi knows what the hell she's doing.

Now that Trump has had his big distraction and it's fallen off of the news...

https://apnews.com/8276d7dc28f15fc46d1b6c546dd66382

What's her game do you think? I'm a little out of the loop on what's going on with it

Apparently, she anticipated the "wag the dog" business in Iran (or anticipated something like it), so she delayed until after the incident to release the impeachment articles to the senate.

Given that nothing else has changed, it's the only thing that makes sense.

That makes sense to me

5
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: January 15, 2020, 07:09:59 am »
Holy shit

6
Apple Talk / Re: WOMP-ertainment
« on: January 14, 2020, 07:56:31 pm »













This was the womp I was looking for. Also, goddamn photobucket.

7
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: January 14, 2020, 07:46:38 pm »
Meanwhile, I am once again forced to admit that Pelosi knows what the hell she's doing.

Now that Trump has had his big distraction and it's fallen off of the news...

https://apnews.com/8276d7dc28f15fc46d1b6c546dd66382

What's her game do you think? I'm a little out of the loop on what's going on with it

8
Apple Talk / Re: I have come back in time from 2006 to convey two things
« on: January 14, 2020, 03:57:39 pm »
Why would you aim at 2004, of all the years?

2004 was fucking terrible.

Well, yes.  To warn you about 2005.

Did I miss anything interesting from 2006 to now?

Nothing major, but, uh, if you could spike Donald Trump's cocaine, that'd be great.

 :lulz:

Yeah, this one is pretty important. You definitely want to get that done while Bush is president

9
Apple Talk / Re: Adventures with Gogira's phone in Providence!
« on: January 14, 2020, 02:55:35 pm »
I will confess to being a good person and not turning it on and taking nakey pics. Nobody needs to see THAT. Either way, it's headed back to the Northshore with some special notes on customs declaration forms. Because Massachusetts is another country.

For some reason I just got an image in my head of EoC as Mr. McFeeley.

Bump. I'm trying to find an old womp and came across this in the process, lol
He could rock that uniform.

PEEDEE DELIVERY!
                                            \


10
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: July 21, 2019, 07:14:44 pm »
Hold on a minute here, I have a fucking TALE TO TELL YOU.

I’m ripping this from the email I wrote to a wonderful lady in Michigan who helps no-hopers like me find work, and asked me to keep her looped in after I got to Boston.

Ahem.



So! The precise moment I changed over all of my information to point to Boston on ZipRecruiter and Monster, I had recruiters doing the stalker heavy breathing thing over my shoulder. Literally, all over me like sand on a beach. I’m hardly exaggerating here: four job offers before I could even place a search, seven more after I finally got a search typed in.

I had between fifteen and twenty phone calls a day from recruiters, I could barely do so much as wash my hands without missing a call. In fact, I missed a call while in an interview, missed another call from the same person in that same interview, and missed five texts from the same person in the same interview. This interview took fifteen minutes.

From that initial 4, one in particular was a huge stretch. People in fancy suits and such turning up to apply, giant company doing outsourced direct marketing campaign work for Fortune 100 companies. Enter me, dressed in the usual hoodie, jeans, t-shirt, sweating like a pig, lugging two giant bags like a hobo, panting like a dog. Minimal work history in an old, old field. No qualifications at all.

Absolutely ridiculous that I’d even bother wasting their time, yeah? I mean, I was seeing other offers in the minimum wage range, doing cold lead sales and call center tech support. That’s definitely my speed: low-level consumer-facing punishment-detail type work. This though? This is big time: folks with expensive suits purpose designed to intimidate the Morlocks of blue collar land, and cars that sound like they belong on a Formula One track and look like spaceships. People who fly out of the country twice a week and cannot imagine a bank account with less than five figures in it. (That would be “flat broke” to such rarified individuals.) This is way out of my league, right?

Not right. I got into the second round of interviews, which is 1% of the first round of interviews: I was in the top ten applicants. That’s already crazy: all these rich Harvard kids fell below me on the pecking order. So I go in for the second round only slightly nicer (showered, dress shirt, only one bag). And apparently ace the interview hard.

So then they immediately rushed me through the third round of interviews, which is top five applicants out of over 1000 applicants. So five MORE rich Harvard/MIT students fall out of the running. And I’m still there. Finish that round, go home, and wait for the call.

Call comes up. First they ask me how I thought I did. By this point I’m getting a big ol’ ego boost, so I tell them I think I did amazing, certainly better than the folks who didn’t make it to all three rounds, right? She says yep, you’re right, Brian and Garrett thought you did fantastic. Then the drumroll beings, here comes the reveal. And the winner is... well. Just, bear with me here:

I was in the top 2 or 3 applicants. Out of over 1000.
They recommended me for management fast track.
—Assuming I do the work, this means things like “having access to the company yacht” and “international business trips” inside of two months.
——That’s two months like “late September”. At the outside.
And finally...
Expectation is that I come in to start Monday. As in the day after the day after tomorrow. Probably just “the day after tomorrow” or “today” when you get this, depending on the day.

Well. Uh.

Boston!

That's awesome! Congratulations!

11
Apple Talk / Re: I REQUEST AND REQUIRE HOLIES
« on: July 18, 2019, 01:19:46 am »
It's been awhile, so let's do some updating. Give me a Personal Text, Custom Title, and some delightful nonsense for my signature. If you please, of course.

Holy Name™:  Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene.

Sig forthcoming

I likey!

12
Apple Talk / I REQUEST AND REQUIRE HOLIES
« on: July 17, 2019, 03:59:52 am »
It's been awhile, so let's do some updating. Give me a Personal Text, Custom Title, and some delightful nonsense for my signature. If you please, of course.

13
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Pelosi vs AOC feud
« on: July 17, 2019, 03:55:48 am »
Thirded

14
Apple Talk / Re: DRUGS
« on: July 16, 2019, 09:20:12 pm »
 :lulz:

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