Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - Nephew Twiddleton

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 1214
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: June 15, 2019, 07:34:39 pm »
So tomorow or Monday, I find out if I have in fact found the worst job yet.

Which would be better than what I have now.
I wish you luck, if that's appropriate.

Thank you.  I found out today that I do in fact have the worst job in the world now.   :)

Oof. Sorry to hear

Apple Talk / Re: in which I post my biannual thing on PD
« on: June 12, 2019, 12:13:02 pm »
That's a bit of good news!


Um... Day one...

The blood.  Oh, fuck.  So much blood.  It's still kind of fuzzy, what happened.  Going home from work.  Jacket.  Hat.  Walk up the street to the subway, through the bitter wind, blowing like a jet engine between mirrored buildings, reflecting the stream of white collars taking the same trek.  Get through turnstile.  Avoid eye contact.  Turn up the iPod a little higher.

The train rumbles in, a gigantic mechanical cock spewing out a new load of struggling drones and duds for the evening shift, as the spent automatons shuffle through the half-broken sliding doors.  At the best of times, it's a tight fit.  You need to have a certain flexibility to weave through the packed bodies, one arm lifted like a half-assed salute to the working day.  But this was different.  The bodies were nervous, like a pack of cattle when a Mylar balloon lands in the pen.  Skittish.  They were all pressing towards the front end of the car, as if some malevolent force was pushing them away.

At the other end of the car, it looked like one of the worker bees was having a bad day.  The top two buttons on his shirt had popped off, power tie askew.  Hair that had most likely been perfectly shellacked eight hours ago was in disarray, heavy strands hanging down his forehead, and jutting up from the kind of cowlick that must have gotten him a lot of grief in middle school.  His face was twisted into a snarl, flecks of white spittle on his lower lip, and in the corners of his mouth.  I pressed forward, against the weight of the masses, to get a better look.  You could tell he was muttering something under his breath, but from where I was standing, I couldn't hear it.

His head snapped around, and he was looking straight at me.  His eyes were bloodshot; the left one brimming with a tear, which gently shimmered on his lower lid and then let go, marking a track down through the faint evidence of a five o'clock shadow.  His stare transfixed me, and I could finally make out what he was chanting under his breath.

"You-can-be-whatever-you-wanna-be-you-can-be-whatever-you-wanna-be- you-can-be-whatever-you-wanna-be- you-can-be-whatever-you-wanna-be-"

Even as his teeth ground together, those words managed to force their way through his throat.

"whatever-you-wanna-be-you-can-be-whatever-you-wanna-be- you-can-be-whatever-you-wanna-be- you-can-be-"

I glanced down at his right hand, which was clenched, white-knuckled, around the handle of a briefcase.


The case slipped from his hand.  It seemed to fall in slow motion, drifting downward to the floor of the subway car, streaked with the film of dried coffee, sugar residue from donuts, and grease from breakfast sandwiches hastily gobbled from the morning's commute.  The edge of the case struck, and the shock broke the flimsy latches on top, security in name only.  From its depths erupted paper, whatever anonymous reports and tallies from the quarter's bookkeeping, or reports, or memos, or minutes, or spreadsheets, or contracts, or bank statements, or bills, or receipts, or tax forms, or briefs, or faxes, whatever they were, they seemed to burst forth.  But all that was forgotten when my eyes tracked back to his hand, rising upwards, fingers claw like, predatory.

With a shriek, those fingers clutched at his face, the nails digging in, and he pulled.  Tiny half-moons of crimson turned into gutters of red as he scraped down his cheek.  His left hand joined his right, tearing at his face.  His ring finger jabbed underneath one eye, now filled with terror, not tears, which disappeared with a "pop" of blood and jelly.  Two fingers caught on his lip, which tore away easily, exposing the pink gumline, white teeth stained red, a spray of blood spattering subway's car window.  His remaining eye wheeled in its socket as his fingers continued to scrape away his skin, his right hand lowering to scrabble at his neck, looking for purchase, and finding it, and stabbing, and pulling, his left hand fluttering for a moment, then joining in to help its brother, clawing, ripping, tearing at his throat, until, with a guttural, bubbling finality, his hands came away in triumph, the horrific shrieking silenced, a gaping hole where his adam's apple once quietly bobbed and swallowed, swallowed all that his life threw at him, swallowed decades of shit and abuse and deadlines and progress reports and rejection and derision and advertising and mediocrity.  His heart still beat, blood streaming and spurting from his throat.  The only sounds now were these:

A soft patter on the subway floor like raindrops on a spring day.

The wet thump as his body collapsed.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: June 12, 2019, 11:55:46 am »
That was LMNO, I think it's in Literate Chaotic.

I'm pretty sure the thread is called thirty days of Eris

Apple Talk / Re: Jessica
« on: June 12, 2019, 11:53:47 am »
Hi not so new but new to me people.


How about that weather, eh?

Quite nice today, but it's going to rain and be muggy tomorrow. That reminds me, I should get an umbrella

Apple Talk / Re: Jessica
« on: June 12, 2019, 11:53:01 am »
Hi not so new but new to me people.

ZBS isn't new.  He used to be Benaclypse.  This is his annual shit drizzle of addled bullshit he brings every year when he goes off his meds.

Ah, gotcha

Apple Talk / Re: Jessica
« on: June 12, 2019, 04:16:32 am »
There are Doktors here

Apple Talk / Re: Jessica
« on: June 11, 2019, 08:56:32 pm »
Hi not so new but new to me people.

Apple Talk / Re: Hey Vex
« on: June 10, 2019, 05:19:17 pm »
What was the reason?

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: June 09, 2019, 08:21:26 am »
Pretty sure my coworkers at shit second job were exchanging some kind of white drug that comes in little plastic bags. Normally I wouldn't give a shit, but the boss is also my friend and roommate, so it puts me in a rather difficult position. The way I see it is I have two options: ignore it and if they do it again, go, "you know that I live with the boss, right? I don't care of you like drugs, but don't be obvious about having them on you here" or I can be like, "check the security cameras from last night, look for blatant stupidity."

On the bright side, I only need to work there for 16 more days total in order to have enough money until September 20, when regular paychecks for TAing resume. Also, I don't have a wedding to pay for anymore, so, regular monthly sacrifice no longer occurs.

Apple Talk / Re: Survival Rules for 2029 CE
« on: June 08, 2019, 09:46:18 pm »
I will definitely spend people off in groups of two at maximum when facing a potentially shapeshifting or mind-alterting entity.

Send ONE. Just to fuck with the shifters.

I like this. I'm imagining the shapeshifter going, "shit, what now?"

Apple Talk / Re: THE ADVENTURES OF WAFFLE IRON- A weekly comic strip
« on: July 10, 2018, 01:08:42 am »
ATM I'm with LMNO and our guitarist. Our vocalist will be here shortly

Apple Talk / Re: THE ADVENTURES OF WAFFLE IRON- A weekly comic strip
« on: July 10, 2018, 01:07:18 am »
I have been summoned. I'll see if I can make time for this during the summer, but I'm about to get into a world of exhaustion to both keep up with my research and make ends meet

Apple Talk / Re: Introductions, Part VI: Welcome to Our PD Party
« on: June 17, 2018, 09:43:57 pm »
Greetin's Wolfpuck Puckwolf

Also more generally speaking, I'm just fucking tired of having to wrestle with the Midwest and the Bible Belt for the privilege of living in the 21st century. Every small step forward we try to take is done with the ball and chain of the South's ignorant bullshit. They wanna live in some imagined mythical Good old Days, I say let them. I wanna live in the future, I want my goddamn jetpack.

This country has been in an abusive relationship with itself for too long and it's about time we got out. There is nothing holding us together as a people anymore and I'm tired of pretending there is.

Well, to be fair, that's also the case in a lot of blue states as well, especially when you get out of the main high density population areas. Or even within them. I always thought Boston was in a good spot until I started paying attention. Then I was like, "oh, we're racist, backward pricks too, we just don't make it obvious by shouting the n word"

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 1214