ATTN: PEOPLE WHO LIKE CATS

[P3nT4gR4m]

Cats are ugly, smelly, whiny little fucks. Dogs are cool as hell. Except those ugly, smelly little fuck dogs that fuckheads carry about in their handbags, those aren't real dogs, they're fucking cat-substitutes.

[leln]

Cats are ugly, smelly, whiny little fucks. Dogs are cool as hell. Except those ugly, smelly little fuck dogs that fuckheads carry about in their handbags, those aren't real dogs, they're fucking cat-substitutes.

Smelly? Your feline is defective, or way too used to other cats grooming it. In most cases, cats are self-cleaning and have the decency to bury their own shit. Dogs are indeed cool, but require constant attention and lots of plastic baggies to keep them from pissing off the neighbors. Seriously, don't even get me started about lazy dog owners, I've dodged more piles of "oh, it's snow, no one will ever notice Fido crapped here" since the temperature rose above freezing than I care to remember. 

IMO, lapdogs are significantly below cats. Each breed probably had a use once. Then someone decided it was too cute to be taxed with the responsibility of catching rats, alerting the household to intruders, retrieving small game or whatever. And now, the result sits placid and brainless and waits to be fed so it can poop again. Even if it satisfies the emotional needs of a human, why bother? At least a cat will be interested by the sounds of mice in the walls.

[Jasper]

I have a dog that, I kid you not, makes every effort to ensure that he poops on things as high up as possible.  He'll do this, this pooing poise where he tries to stick his ass in the air, and leave his dog eggs stuck in the top of a bush.

Unfathomable.

[Luna]

Any dog smaller than a cat is not a canine, it is a member of the rodent family, and should be treated as such.  (Puppies are exempt, there's hope they'll grow out of it... and the one that piddled on Richter's armor may earn an exemption, as well if he keeps the "I'll be a BIG dog, someday" attitude as he gets older.)

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Both are useful and smart in their own ways but I hate dogs.
I mean, I wouldn't hurt one, but I'm not in any hurry to go touch one either.. unless it's on fire or something.

[Elder Iptuous]

I would advise against touching dogs that are on fire...

[Lies]

Both are useful and smart in their own ways but I hate dogs.
I mean, I wouldn't hurt one, but I'm not in any hurry to go touch one either.. unless it's on fire or something.

wtf why would you pet a burning dog?

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Both are useful and smart in their own ways but I hate dogs.
I mean, I wouldn't hurt one, but I'm not in any hurry to go touch one either.. unless it's on fire or something.

wtf why would you pet a burning dog?

Fuck that I want to know why the dog is on fire to begin with?

[Jenne]

Well, I hated so-called lapdogs until I got a couple of them.  And they don't know they're lapdogs, so I guess that's why they don't cause such enmity in me.  I hated the shivering, mewling little cusses until we got one as a puppy.  Our larger one is a poodle/Schnauzer mix, and he's got some big-ass 'tude.  But then, he was a Mexican rescue dog, so chances are he spent some time on the streets of TJ before we got him.

As for our yorkie-poodle mix, she's a total bitchtits, and will fucking anyone (before they try to make a snack of her, that is).  She really has no clue how small she is.  And hates to be carried around.  She'd rather run, and wants to be AHEAD of everyone else.  She's loyal and protective, something that my cats never fucking were.

I don't separate the two, though, in greatness.  Cats are apples, dogs are oranges.  To me, this debate is like cake and pie.  There's room for both and time for each.  I just don't have a horse in this race.  (ba-dum-ching!)

[Lies]

I have a dog that, I kid you not, makes every effort to ensure that he poops on things as high up as possible.  He'll do this, this pooing poise where he tries to stick his ass in the air, and leave his dog eggs stuck in the top of a bush.

Unfathomable.

You tube or it didn't happen

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I would advise against touching dogs that are on fire...

Both are useful and smart in their own ways but I hate dogs.
I mean, I wouldn't hurt one, but I'm not in any hurry to go touch one either.. unless it's on fire or something.

wtf why would you pet a burning dog?

I didn't say anything about petting a burning dog, but I'd whack it with a stick to put the fire out or something. I dunno, what works, throw a soda on it? Flog it with a towel? Whatever.
Anyway, I'm not in a hurry to pet one but I'd put it out if it were on fire or something is what I'm saying.

[Jenne]

...just turn a hose on it?

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

There ya go.
I'd hose a dog on fire. Ain't runnin out to adopt one though.

[East Coast Hustle]

I have a dog that, I kid you not, makes every effort to ensure that he poops on things as high up as possible.  He'll do this, this pooing poise where he tries to stick his ass in the air, and leave his dog eggs stuck in the top of a bush.

Unfathomable.

Do you think he could teach my dog that trick?

[LMNO]

There ya go.
I'd hose a dog on fire.