Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

This site makes all the stupid crazy at my jobs seem like nothing.

http://notalwaysright.com/

http://notalwaysright.com/it-must-have-been-a-new-moon/11480

It Must Have Been A New Moon
BOOKSTORE | MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA
(This particular customer is a semi-regular who tends to loiter around the new age and paranormal sections. She has knee-length flowing blonde hair and is fond of hippyish clothing. Tonight, I notice her staring at me from a distance for a few minutes with a subtle, knowing smile.)

Me: "Hello, how are you today? Would you like any help?"

Customer: "Good, quite good. I don't need any help, but can I just talk to you for a minute?"

Me: "Sure. What would you like to talk about?"

Customer: "You. I just have some questions about you. You work here quite a lot, don't you? At night. I see you every night I come in."

Me: "Yes, I do tend to work here Thursday and Friday nights."

Customer: "I notice cause you're so pretty. Such long dark hair and pale skin."

Me: "Umm, thanks."

Customer: "What's your name?"

Me: "It's [my name]."

Customer: "That's a lovely name. A very old fashioned name. You don't really hear it anymore."

(By this point, I'm getting confused as I didn't think my name was that uncommon. I'm not sure what point she's trying to make.)

Customer: "What else do you do, other than working here?"

Me: "I'm in my fourth year of uni. My major is Science, but I do some electives in Literature and History."

Customer: *smiles* "Ahhh. So you're quite educated, as well."

Me: "I guess you could say that."

Customer: "Well, I had better not waste any more of your time. But I just want to tell you that I understand now, and I won't tell anyone."

Me: "Ah, ok. About what?"

Customer: "Your secret. That you are one of them. A vampire."

(The customer leaves while I just stand there confused.)

Coworker: "What's up?"

Me: "I ****ing hate Twilight..."

[Juana]

I LOVE THIS

[Lies]

This site makes all the stupid crazy at my jobs seem like nothing.

http://notalwaysright.com/

http://notalwaysright.com/it-must-have-been-a-new-moon/11480

It Must Have Been A New Moon
BOOKSTORE | MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA
(This particular customer is a semi-regular who tends to loiter around the new age and paranormal sections. She has knee-length flowing blonde hair and is fond of hippyish clothing. Tonight, I notice her staring at me from a distance for a few minutes with a subtle, knowing smile.)

Me: "Hello, how are you today? Would you like any help?"

Customer: "Good, quite good. I don't need any help, but can I just talk to you for a minute?"

Me: "Sure. What would you like to talk about?"

Customer: "You. I just have some questions about you. You work here quite a lot, don't you? At night. I see you every night I come in."

Me: "Yes, I do tend to work here Thursday and Friday nights."

Customer: "I notice cause you're so pretty. Such long dark hair and pale skin."

Me: "Umm, thanks."

Customer: "What's your name?"

Me: "It's [my name]."

Customer: "That's a lovely name. A very old fashioned name. You don't really hear it anymore."

(By this point, I'm getting confused as I didn't think my name was that uncommon. I'm not sure what point she's trying to make.)

Customer: "What else do you do, other than working here?"

Me: "I'm in my fourth year of uni. My major is Science, but I do some electives in Literature and History."

Customer: *smiles* "Ahhh. So you're quite educated, as well."

Me: "I guess you could say that."

Customer: "Well, I had better not waste any more of your time. But I just want to tell you that I understand now, and I won't tell anyone."

Me: "Ah, ok. About what?"

Customer: "Your secret. That you are one of them. A vampire."

(The customer leaves while I just stand there confused.)

Coworker: "What's up?"

Me: "I ****ing hate Twilight..."

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Credit Car
RETAIL | USA
(I am finishing ringing up a customer's purchases.)

Me: "That'll be $14.00."

Customer: "So, I want to pay with my credit card, but it's out in the car. Is that okay?"

Me: "Sure, that's fine."

(There's an uncomfortable pause as the customer stands there, as if waiting for something else to happen. Finally, the lightbulb goes on.)

Customer: "Oh, do I have to actually go get it?"

This has happened to me at Jo-Ann's.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Fuck. I love that site... after 13 years of retail, it never stops feeling familiar.

[Suu]

That site is a testament to a 12 year chunk of my existence.

[Freeky]

This site makes all the stupid crazy at my jobs seem like nothing.

http://notalwaysright.com/

http://notalwaysright.com/it-must-have-been-a-new-moon/11480

It Must Have Been A New Moon
BOOKSTORE | MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA
(This particular customer is a semi-regular who tends to loiter around the new age and paranormal sections. She has knee-length flowing blonde hair and is fond of hippyish clothing. Tonight, I notice her staring at me from a distance for a few minutes with a subtle, knowing smile.)

Me: "Hello, how are you today? Would you like any help?"

Customer: "Good, quite good. I don't need any help, but can I just talk to you for a minute?"

Me: "Sure. What would you like to talk about?"

Customer: "You. I just have some questions about you. You work here quite a lot, don't you? At night. I see you every night I come in."

Me: "Yes, I do tend to work here Thursday and Friday nights."

Customer: "I notice cause you're so pretty. Such long dark hair and pale skin."

Me: "Umm, thanks."

Customer: "What's your name?"

Me: "It's [my name]."

Customer: "That's a lovely name. A very old fashioned name. You don't really hear it anymore."

(By this point, I'm getting confused as I didn't think my name was that uncommon. I'm not sure what point she's trying to make.)

Customer: "What else do you do, other than working here?"

Me: "I'm in my fourth year of uni. My major is Science, but I do some electives in Literature and History."

Customer: *smiles* "Ahhh. So you're quite educated, as well."

Me: "I guess you could say that."

Customer: "Well, I had better not waste any more of your time. But I just want to tell you that I understand now, and I won't tell anyone."

Me: "Ah, ok. About what?"

Customer: "Your secret. That you are one of them. A vampire."

(The customer leaves while I just stand there confused.)

Coworker: "What's up?"

Me: "I ****ing hate Twilight..."

I and

[Lies]

I just noticed that story comes from Melbourne... I need to hunt this person down and marry her.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I just noticed that story comes from Melbourne... I need to hunt this person down and marry her.

Quick, before someone glitterbombs her!

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

http://notalwaysright.com/has-faith-but-lost-all-pope-part-2/11585

Has Faith But Lost All Pope, Part 2
COMIC BOOK STORE | MD, USA
Customer: "Do you have any books on drawing people? My son loves to draw. I want to encourage him."

Me: "This one is really good for understanding anatomy. It uses examples from classical art."

Customer: *very snidely* "I could do without all the nudity. It's not very Christian."

Me: "That's the Sistine Chapel ceiling, ma'am. It's where the Pope preaches."

http://notalwaysright.com/getting-to-the-root-of-the-problem-part-2/11588

Getting To The Root Of The Problem, Part 2
HAIR SALON | UK
Customer: "Hello, I'd like to make a complaint."

Me: "Okay, how can I help you?"

Customer: "I had my hair done with you, and I'm not happy."

Me: "I'm terribly sorry about that. What appears to be the problem? I'd love to help you."

Customer: "Well, I had blonde highlights, but it's just gone very dark at the roots."

(I take the customer's name and have a look at her record.)

Me: "It says your last visit was four months ago."

Customer: "Yeah, so?"

Man, I feel for these people.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh, it's called "retail hell" for a reason. 

[BadBeast]

I just noticed that story comes from Melbourne... I need to hunt this person down and marry her.

Quick, before someone glitterbombs her!

Too late.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just noticed that story comes from Melbourne... I need to hunt this person down and marry her.

Quick, before someone glitterbombs her!

Too late.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

LOL. Damn, BadBeast. I almost spilled my Pepsi.

[Cain]

Oh, it's called "retail hell" for a reason. 

Only when your job wont let you answer back how you really feel.  If it does, then it becomes hilarious.

Idiot customer #39: "I'll have a chicken and chips.  I'm not a fan of this foreign muck."
Me:  "Uh, then maybe you should try and get your food from somewhere that isn't a Chinese takeaway?"