Not Always Right Appreciation Thread . . . :P

[Don Coyote]

Harsh dude.

Wyldkat equates moderating an internet forum with caring for children. She also has children. I sincerely believe she should never had made it past infancy.

[maphdet]

 


These can't be real, can they???

[Luna]

 


These can't be real, can they???

Having worked retail, I assure you, they most likley are.

[Suu]

 


These can't be real, can they???

Absofuckinglutely.

[Suu]

Customer: "I'd like a cinnamon crunch bagel with honey walnut cream cheese, and a cup of coffee."

Customer's sister: "What?!"

Customer: "I can handle it."

Customer's sister, to me: "She's allergic to walnuts."

Customer: "Yeah, but I'm not too allergic."

Me: "Uhm.."

Customer: "I'll just break out into a rash. I won't die or anything. You don't have to worry about that."

Me: "I'm not so sure I—"

Customer: "It's just so good. I can't help it!"

This is totally me and Iggy's clam chowder. Ask Roger, he had to pry it out of my hands.

'I'LL JUST TAKE A BENEDRYL!'

[maphdet]

 


These can't be real, can they???

Absofuckinglutely.

Fucking hell. I suppose I should have guessed as much.

[Luna]

(I work for an online traffic school and for some of the counties, we need them to put answers to security questions.

Me: "Hi, this is ***, how can I help you?"

Caller: "Hey, it says that I missed a security question and that I need to call this number to continue."

Me: "Okay, what question did you miss?"

Caller: "I missed what is my favorite animal."

(I get his personal information and look up his answer.)

Me: "Sir, the answer we have here says 'Pussy'. You are aware that this is also the same answer you have for... your favorite food?"

Caller: *click*

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

(A elderly customer buys an incredible amount of food, most of which is dried pasta and tinned fruit. The total comes to £500.)

Me: "I'm sorry, but your card has been declined due to insufficient funds."

Customer: "Why is that?"

Me: "You don't have enough money in your account."

Customer: "Yes, I do."

Me: "I'm sorry, but it seems you don't."

Customer: "No, I do. I let Prime Minister David Cameron borrow some. He'll put it back in soon."

Me: "I'm sorry, what?"

Customer: "Oh, yes. But you mustn't tell anyone. I need this food now, so can you just put it through, please?"

Me: "I'm sorry, but without the money, I cannot complete your transaction."

Customer: "When I go into hibernation for the summer, I'll need to have plenty of food in my house."

(I am shocked into silence.)

Customer: "You're beautiful. How about we hibernate together this summer, sweetie?"

Me: "Excuse me?"

Customer: "Here's my address. Look me up as soon as July hits!"

(She hands me a piece of paper and hurries out of the shop. I look at the piece of paper. It is actually just a drawing of the sun, with the words 'TRUST NO ONE' written below.)

[Suu]

BRILLIANT. 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

That one sounds like something my great-grandma would have done in between going to bowling alleys to pick up men and robbing a liquor store.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

http://notalwaysright.com/application-confrontation-part-2/11757

Application Confrontation, Part 2
VIDEO GAME STORE | SEATTLE, WA, USA
(The store is relatively empty, save for me, a mother with her son, and a guy sitting on the floor next to one of our display models who is hastily filling out a job application. The boy goes and starts playing on the display model, at which point the man reaches over and unplugs it from the wall.)

Me: "Excuse me, sir. That boy was playing on that."

Man: "I need to get this finished! I can't concentrate with all the noise!"

Me: "Sir, please plug that back in."

Man: "I said I need to get this done! Just give me one minute here, okay?"

(I go over and plug the display back in myself. The man glares at me and yanks the cord out again.)

Man: "One minute! Seriously, I just want to get this done. Is that too much to ask?"

(The boy's mother comes over.)

Mother: "Sir, as the associate said, my son would like to play the game. If it's bothering you, then surely you can move somewhere else to finish your paperwork."

Man: "Come on, please!"

Me: "Sir, she's right. If you want, I can get you a chair so you can sit at the counter and finish your forms."

(The man grumbles, but nevertheless gets up off the floor. I go grab a chair for him from the back and presently the mother and son approach the counter with a pile of games. I ring them up and see them on their way out. The man approaches me.)

Man: "Look, I understand you have to suck up to the people who spend their money in here. Just admit it to me: you agree that game is s***, and the kid's tastes in games are s*** for wanting to play it."

(I am in shocked silence.)

Man: "Where's the manager, so I can give this to him and set up an interview?"

Me: "You're talking to her, sir."

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

http://notalwaysright.com/they-grow-up-and-get-incarcerated-so-fast-part-2/11730

They Grow Up (And Get Incarcerated) So Fast, Part 2
RETAIL | TX, USA
(I am approached by an 8-year-old customer.)

Child: "Miss, can I buy this game?"

(He holds up a copy of an adult-rated game.)

Me: "I'm sorry, I can't. You'll need your parent or guardian to buy that for you."

Child: "Okay. I just called my mom. She'll be here soon.

(The mother and other children arrive at the store.)

Mother: "Okay, what is it?"

Me: "I just need to know if you approve of this game. It contains blood, violence, use of drugs-"

Mother: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boobs, butts, drugs, whatever. I don't care. He's paying for it."

[Freeky]

[Jasper]

Clearly the woman is of a laissez-faire persuasion.

[Slyph]

I dunno man. Being the kid with the violent videogames is cruise control for cool. Probably a net gain in the long run.