Joseph- A very questionable Wizard

[Luna]

If you're a wizard, where are your robes and pointy hat?  Does your wizard's staff have a knob on the end?  Can you cast Magic Missile?

Plz to NOT post pics of knobby staff, thx.

Yeah, cheeto stains are so disgusting.....

Bump...  Set...  SPIKE!  Khara scores!

[The Wizard Joseph]

So Joseph, I've been meaning to ask you...

You plan on selling Eris Brand Sex Toys or something like that, right? IIRC, you mentioned this was your method of dispersing info in regard to Eris, that your customer base would become curious and you could...fnord the fuck out of them, I guess.

Why do you think that would be an effective/desirable means of spreading the Discordia's word, such as it is? Far be it from me to suggest that you shouldn't make money off religion. But as for reaching out to people and having a substantial impact on their lives for, well we'll just say better, why would selling shit have anything to do with that?

I guess my first thought is that it would prohibit the average monkey from taking anything valuable because they would go:

"Hey, check out this vibrating butt plug I just got."
"Cool. Eris, what's Eris?"
"I dunno, I asked the dude who sold it to me and he started talking a bunch of gibberish. Something about a pineal gland and the number 23. Pretty confusing, really."
"But it's a great butt plug, right."
"Oh yeah, top notch."

Yeah? I dunno man. Lay it on me.

The Eris angle to me is integral to a mythology and story I'm building around the company.

I intend to make fun of alot of conspiracy culture and religion both.  Discordia is in the crossfire of those things anyway.

The average monkey will probably not be too involved in looking for deeper meanings, but it's the above average that I intend to cause to question things.

My advertisement methodolgy will include 3 major components.

1. Flash: the unusual and somtimes literally gilded style of the advert.  To attract the most primitive part of all people's brains. (Sex as a topic already does this naturally, I'm just value-adding)

2. Funny:  The simple word plays and the overt/exoteric jokes.  To engage the simple and "average" parts of the brain with language.  (HAHA you said buttplug)

3. Intrigue:  The symbolic content and frank perversion of symbolic usage.  This will keep the Rizilly smart folks guessing and inspire (I Hope) a search for answers... likely starting with more of my stuff, but I intend to subtly and overtly point people in suitable dirctions.      (consider the metaphicics of havind potentially 100's or 1000's of butt plugs with my logos adding to the experiences of a fundamental life function for people.  Hell of a powerbase and less fattening than Mc Dinnaldz)

In shorT most folks get with Eris in social obscurity. I feel like getting with her in public and I gotta say she's really hot when she goes to the effort to put her face on! (not much of that for a while, she's been dissatisfied for the last couple millennia  )

[The Wizard Joseph]

Hey dude,

When you showed up, there was some bad timing. Your first post was within 20 minutes of somebody spamming #discord with child porn and I assumed it was you. I hissed about it and then clammed up.

Some time has passed, and I've been reading your posts, and honestly - you really don't strike me as a childporn troll kinda guy. I now believe that was just a weird coincidence.

So I want to say I am sorry for calling you out. I was wrong. My bad, good sir, the bad was mine.

You did the right thing in my opinion Professor Cramulus.  I have no hard feelings on the subject and hold your works here in VERY high regard.  Synchronicity is occasionally a true hosebeast.  

Apology graciously accepted, but unnecessary!

Perhaps with the ice broken there's real fish to be had now eh?  

[The Wizard Joseph]

Eh I still think you're a PITA dude.  And I mean that in the nicest of ways!

PITA?  

[The Wizard Joseph]

If you're a wizard, where are your robes and pointy hat?  Does your wizard's staff have a knob on the end?  Can you cast Magic Missile?

It's tru that a wizard's staff should have a proper knob on top.  Mine's broken though and Earth just doesn't have the necessary sapient pearwood sawdust I would need to mix into the epoxy for a fix.  Alas!  

I prefer hoods to hats, but The robes stereotype is just because they're comfortable.  I Really want a snuggie with the seals of the archangels embroidered on it.

Maybe, but it's way more quintessence efficient to enchant regular old shotgun shells than to cast Magic missile here anyway.  Kosher salt and metallic sodium do wonders!

[The Wizard Joseph]

If you're a wizard, where are your robes and pointy hat?  Does your wizard's staff have a knob on the end?  Can you cast Magic Missile?

Plz to NOT post pics of knobby staff, thx.

OK.  If I ever get to a meatup I'll just bring it with me and keep it in the tent and charge $12 per ticket.

[The Wizard Joseph]

If you're a wizard, where are your robes and pointy hat?  Does your wizard's staff have a knob on the end?  Can you cast Magic Missile?

Plz to NOT post pics of knobby staff, thx.

Yeah, cheeto stains are so disgusting.....

WHO TOLD YOU I Like Cheetos?  Who sent you?  Do I owe them money?  also PROTIP: NEVER polish a staff after eating the Flaming Hot variety... they weren't kidding.  

[Doktor Howl]

This thread is dildoes, baby!
\

[The Wizard Joseph]

Armordildoes? 

[P3nT4gR4m]

Nope. It's the bad kind.

[Phox]

Armordildoes? 

Nope, only I'm allowed armordildoes or any other sort of armor plated phallus. Get your own schtick.

[Doktor Howl]

This thread ruined my PD experience.

[Cainad (dec.)]

This thread ruined my PD experience.

So sorry, Mr. Howl. If you still have the receipt we can check to see if your PD Experience is still under warranty.

[Doktor Howl]

This thread ruined my PD experience.

So sorry, Mr. Howl. If you still have the receipt we can check to see if your PD Experience is still under warranty.

When I first got it, BGP poop came out, as advertised.  Now, I power it up and hit start, and dogshit falls out of my screen onto my desk.
 

[Cainad (dec.)]

This thread ruined my PD experience.

So sorry, Mr. Howl. If you still have the receipt we can check to see if your PD Experience is still under warranty.

When I first got it, BGP poop came out, as advertised.  Now, I power it up and hit start, and dogshit falls out of my screen onto my desk.

Not sure what to tell you, sir, but it's clearly the fault of the maintenance department. I'll call them in for a meeting right away.