What the hell happened to my White American privelege? This is an OUTRAGE.

[Richter]

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TRUST FUND?

Sorry, Richter, I accidentally your whole trust fund on male prostitutes and booze.

Was an awesome weekend, though.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

You're probably the one who shat in my VW Passat too!

[Freeky]

I have to go take a shower after just reading this thread and laughing.

[Luna]

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TRUST FUND?

Sorry, Richter, I accidentally your whole trust fund on male prostitutes and booze.

Was an awesome weekend, though.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

You're probably the one who shat in my VW Passat too!

Actually, that was one of the rentboys...

I just puked in the back seat.

[PopeTom]

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TRUST FUND?

First someone has to trust you.  This is usually where the whole thing falls apart.

[Jenne]

This coffee tastes like ASS.  It tastes like it was run through a fucking cow instead of a coffee machine.  It’s fucking rancid, and makes army coffee taste good by comparison.  I find this unconscionable.  I mean, this is America, and if we can’t go into space  anymore, at least we could make a half-decent cup of Joe, for Christ’s sake.

What the hell kind of empire IS this, anyway?  I have a RIGHT to proper coffee, and if that means old Juan Valdez and his fucking mule need to hump it up and down the mountain a little faster, then so be it.  We’re why he’s THERE, after all…Without us, he would be unemployable in his nasty little unfurnished country.  If I had MY way, I’d send a Marine expeditionary force down to Columbia and teach those lazy bastards a lesson.  Why else do we have Marines?  In the good old days, the military KNEW it’s job, which was to keep the world safe for Hills Bros and United Fruit.

This cup of coffee ruined my life.  I can’t even enjoy listening to my Ipod.  I should be compensated for that.

I know several people I've heard rant on inane matters like this recently...it sort of pokes me in the rage gland.  I get this curl to my lip and a snarl to my voice they are surprised to notice all of a sudden when I reply back.  IF I reply back.  I often take to ignoring them after such a bilious outburst of self-important wankery.

[Jenne]

In the spirit of the thread:

FUCK these loud-ass leaf-blowers and the brown-faced guys wielding them!  They ruin my day with their constant BVVVHHHHBHVVVVHHHH all damned day long!  A girl can't hear her daytime teevee properly when all those fucking gardeners and their beat-up trucks come along, hour after hour, from sun-up to sun-down.  I know they gotta make a living and all, but Jesus, don't they think they can do it at a MORE CONVENIENT TIME than during the day?

[trix]

Yesterday in Spanish class, I heard a couple of middle class suburban white kids behind me having a conversation about immigration ("the key word here is illegal"), and as I smirked and started turning towards them, fully prepared to completely agree with them in the most ridiculous and ignorant of ways, I heard "Why do we have to learn Spanish for my Major anyway?  We are bigger then Mexico, they should learn English." and that sentence stopped me in my tracks.  I sat there, stunned.  It took me a couple minutes to recover and pick my jaw up off the floor, and by then the conversation had moved to "All the GOOD countries speak English, the rest are just being stubborn".

Sometimes I wish I had more wit.  I had no idea how to respond.  I mean, a couple of ideas occurred to me, but I lacked the weapons and nipple clamps to make that happen.  I thought about giving them some kind of speech, but really, if those people were susceptible to reason and logic, that conversation could not have possibly happened.

Anyway, Dok, there's two people right there that fully agree with this thread.  Except, I don't think they'd get the joke.

[Doktor Howl]

Yesterday in Spanish class, I heard a couple of middle class suburban white kids behind me having a conversation about immigration ("the key word here is illegal"), and as I smirked and started turning towards them, fully prepared to completely agree with them in the most ridiculous and ignorant of ways, I heard "Why do we have to learn Spanish for my Major anyway?  We are bigger then Mexico, they should learn English." and that sentence stopped me in my tracks.  I sat there, stunned.  It took me a couple minutes to recover and pick my jaw up off the floor, and by then the conversation had moved to "All the GOOD countries speak English, the rest are just being stubborn".

Sometimes I wish I had more wit.  I had no idea how to respond.  I mean, a couple of ideas occurred to me, but I lacked the weapons and nipple clamps to make that happen.  I thought about giving them some kind of speech, but really, if those people were susceptible to reason and logic, that conversation could not have possibly happened.

Anyway, Dok, there's two people right there that fully agree with this thread.  Except, I don't think they'd get the joke.

Poe's Law.  No exceptions.

[Doktor Howl]

This coffee tastes like ASS.  It tastes like it was run through a fucking cow instead of a coffee machine.  It's fucking rancid, and makes army coffee taste good by comparison.  I find this unconscionable.  I mean, this is America, and if we can't go into space  anymore, at least we could make a half-decent cup of Joe, for Christ's sake.

What the hell kind of empire IS this, anyway?  I have a RIGHT to proper coffee, and if that means old Juan Valdez and his fucking mule need to hump it up and down the mountain a little faster, then so be it.  We're why he's THERE, after all...Without us, he would be unemployable in his nasty little unfurnished country.  If I had MY way, I'd send a Marine expeditionary force down to Columbia and teach those lazy bastards a lesson.  Why else do we have Marines?  In the good old days, the military KNEW it's job, which was to keep the world safe for Hills Bros and United Fruit.

This cup of coffee ruined my life.  I can't even enjoy listening to my Ipod.  I should be compensated for that.

I just emailed this to Senators John Kyl and John McCain.

[Cain]

How dare Doktor Howl besmirch our great American Ass Coffee.  I ask you, my friends, is this the kind of man we can do business with?  I think not.  He has poisoned the well in what he has done and how he has done it
\

[Luna]

This coffee tastes like ASS.  It tastes like it was run through a fucking cow instead of a coffee machine.  It's fucking rancid, and makes army coffee taste good by comparison.  I find this unconscionable.  I mean, this is America, and if we can't go into space  anymore, at least we could make a half-decent cup of Joe, for Christ's sake.

What the hell kind of empire IS this, anyway?  I have a RIGHT to proper coffee, and if that means old Juan Valdez and his fucking mule need to hump it up and down the mountain a little faster, then so be it.  We're why he's THERE, after all...Without us, he would be unemployable in his nasty little unfurnished country.  If I had MY way, I'd send a Marine expeditionary force down to Columbia and teach those lazy bastards a lesson.  Why else do we have Marines?  In the good old days, the military KNEW it's job, which was to keep the world safe for Hills Bros and United Fruit.

This cup of coffee ruined my life.  I can't even enjoy listening to my Ipod.  I should be compensated for that.

I just emailed this to Senators John Kyl and John McCain.

How dare Doktor Howl besmirch our great American Ass Coffee.  I ask you, my friends, is this the kind of man we can do business with?  I think not.  He has poisoned the well in what he has done and how he has done it
\

Fuck, I can't breathe...   

[Jenne]

This coffee tastes like ASS.  It tastes like it was run through a fucking cow instead of a coffee machine.  It’s fucking rancid, and makes army coffee taste good by comparison.  I find this unconscionable.  I mean, this is America, and if we can’t go into space  anymore, at least we could make a half-decent cup of Joe, for Christ’s sake.

What the hell kind of empire IS this, anyway?  I have a RIGHT to proper coffee, and if that means old Juan Valdez and his fucking mule need to hump it up and down the mountain a little faster, then so be it.  We’re why he’s THERE, after all…Without us, he would be unemployable in his nasty little unfurnished country.  If I had MY way, I’d send a Marine expeditionary force down to Columbia and teach those lazy bastards a lesson.  Why else do we have Marines?  In the good old days, the military KNEW it’s job, which was to keep the world safe for Hills Bros and United Fruit.

This cup of coffee ruined my life.  I can’t even enjoy listening to my Ipod.  I should be compensated for that.

I just emailed this to Senators John Kyl and John McCain.

  Orsome.

[Doktor Howl]

How dare Doktor Howl besmirch our great American Ass Coffee.  I ask you, my friends, is this the kind of man we can do business with?  I think not.  He has poisoned the well in what he has done and how he has done it
\

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This coffee tastes like ASS.  It tastes like it was run through a fucking cow instead of a coffee machine.  It's fucking rancid, and makes army coffee taste good by comparison.  I find this unconscionable.  I mean, this is America, and if we can't go into space  anymore, at least we could make a half-decent cup of Joe, for Christ's sake.

What the hell kind of empire IS this, anyway?  I have a RIGHT to proper coffee, and if that means old Juan Valdez and his fucking mule need to hump it up and down the mountain a little faster, then so be it.  We're why he's THERE, after all...Without us, he would be unemployable in his nasty little unfurnished country.  If I had MY way, I'd send a Marine expeditionary force down to Columbia and teach those lazy bastards a lesson.  Why else do we have Marines?  In the good old days, the military KNEW it's job, which was to keep the world safe for Hills Bros and United Fruit.

This cup of coffee ruined my life.  I can't even enjoy listening to my Ipod.  I should be compensated for that.

I just emailed this to Senators John Kyl and John McCain.

You should post it on that one guy's blog.

[Doktor Howl]

This coffee tastes like ASS.  It tastes like it was run through a fucking cow instead of a coffee machine.  It's fucking rancid, and makes army coffee taste good by comparison.  I find this unconscionable.  I mean, this is America, and if we can't go into space  anymore, at least we could make a half-decent cup of Joe, for Christ's sake.

What the hell kind of empire IS this, anyway?  I have a RIGHT to proper coffee, and if that means old Juan Valdez and his fucking mule need to hump it up and down the mountain a little faster, then so be it.  We're why he's THERE, after all...Without us, he would be unemployable in his nasty little unfurnished country.  If I had MY way, I'd send a Marine expeditionary force down to Columbia and teach those lazy bastards a lesson.  Why else do we have Marines?  In the good old days, the military KNEW it's job, which was to keep the world safe for Hills Bros and United Fruit.

This cup of coffee ruined my life.  I can't even enjoy listening to my Ipod.  I should be compensated for that.

I just emailed this to Senators John Kyl and John McCain.

You should post it on that one guy's blog.

Go for it.