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TGRR's Relationship Advice Thread.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 16, 2011, 08:33:13 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

November 16, 2011, 08:33:13 PM
This thread is so that I, The Good Reverend Roger, can help you with your relationship difficulties.  Given my past, this may seem a little ridiculous, but keep two things in mind:

1.  People go to Catholic priests for advice about their marriages all the time, and

2.  I'm fucking Holy™, which means you do as I SAY, not as I DO.  I think you'll find that looking on the lives of just about any Holy Personages™ is actually a horrorshow of bad mistakes, excessive drinking, etc.  We aren't here to lead by example, we're here to tell you WHAT'S WHAT.

So line right up and tell me your horrible problems, and I will fix everything, if you follow my advice.

Oh, yes.  I will fix everything.

Or Kill Me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
November 16, 2011, 08:41:55 PM
Dear Reverend,

How do I learn to read my wife's mind? 

Thanks,
LMNO

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
November 16, 2011, 08:48:29 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 16, 2011, 08:41:55 PM
Dear Reverend,

How do I learn to read my wife's mind? 

Thanks,
LMNO

It's very simple, actually...You can't, as the text changes just as fast as you read it.  Women's perogative, etc, etc.

Instead, you should simply realize that You Lost.  Yep, you lost the fucking thing 3 months before the subject even came up, and all your struggling and arguing will do is get your blood all over the (hopefully metaphoric) walls.  There is no exception, and having the facts on your side only makes things worse. 

I'm not saying roll over and be a big pussy about everything, but know in advance that you're not going to "win", because the PRIZE for "winning" isn't really a "win" at all.

"HAW HAW!  I SURE SHOWED HER.  HEY, WHY ISN'T SHE LAUGHING?"
\
:mullet:

"Have fun with your hand tonight, dear.  And for every other night until I forget this.  Which will be approximately next never.  Also, go tell someone else about your fascinating day.  I'm going out with the girls."
\
:wave:

"...BUT I WON."
\
:mullet:

Yeah, that's all ye know and all ye NEED know about what's going on in her head.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,

I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
November 16, 2011, 09:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,

I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?

It's too early to tell.  More data is required.

Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
November 16, 2011, 09:31:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,

I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?

It's too early to tell.  More data is required.

Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.

:lulz:

Complication: HE'S MARRIED. Yeah, she left him for another woman (this is about the fourth time that's happened) and they live in different houses, but married is married until the court says otherwise. Plus, this is about the fourth time this has happened, which means that he took her back the other three times.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
November 16, 2011, 09:34:24 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:31:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:21:56 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 09:20:51 PM
Dear Reverend,

I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?

It's too early to tell.  More data is required.

Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.

:lulz:

Complication: HE'S MARRIED. Yeah, she left him for another woman (this is about the fourth time that's happened) and they live in different houses, but married is married until the court says otherwise. Plus, this is about the fourth time this has happened, which means that he took her back the other three times.

Let's just look at that again:  She left him for another woman.  Again.   So who fucking cares?  He's not married, he's in a contractual nightmare.  If he takes her back again, though, drive him out to the bridge and let Portland deal with him.

You two already put your feet in the sticky stuff.  You may as well roll around in it for a while, and see if you like it. 

To put it another way, since you did it drunk, you're going to be really, really uncomfortable about it.  If you do it sober, you have no excuses to hide behind, and you'll just have to deal with it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#7
November 16, 2011, 09:47:39 PM
Dear Reverend,

I want to accidentally the crazy kid sits next to me in Math.  What do?

Love, Freeky.

Luna

#8
November 16, 2011, 09:52:58 PM
Dear Reverend,

What in the flaming FUCK was my NYEX thinking when he said that maybe, after two or three years of him rolling around with his disease-ridden slut, MAYBE he'd come back and we could try again?

Love,
Luna
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
November 16, 2011, 09:58:12 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 16, 2011, 09:52:58 PM
Dear Reverend,

What in the flaming FUCK was my NYEX thinking when he said that maybe, after two or three years of him rolling around with his disease-ridden slut, MAYBE he'd come back and we could try again?

Love,
Luna

He wasn't.  "Thinking" is not a job prerequisite for self-centered assholes.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
November 16, 2011, 09:58:49 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 16, 2011, 09:47:39 PM
Dear Reverend,

I want to accidentally the crazy kid sits next to me in Math.  What do?

Love, Freeky.

What do?  No, what NOT do.  Like tell him where you live.

Poomp on yourself if you must, just don't make me look at it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#11
November 16, 2011, 10:02:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 09:58:49 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 16, 2011, 09:47:39 PM
Dear Reverend,

I want to accidentally the crazy kid sits next to me in Math.  What do?

Love, Freeky.

What do?  No, what NOT do.  Like tell him where you live.

Poomp on yourself if you must, just don't make me look at it.

:(  But i can change him!







:lulz:  Can't even keep a straight face.

Freeky

#12
November 16, 2011, 10:10:01 PM
I don't know if for real questions are allowed but I want to meet more people and make larger my chances of meeting someone who fits my standards and yet isn't gay.


WHAT DO?

Suu

#13
November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,

Why do men think it's okay to lie?

No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?

No wait...


WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

BabylonHoruv

#14
November 16, 2011, 10:11:59 PM
Quote from: Science me, babby on November 16, 2011, 10:10:01 PM
I don't know if for real questions are allowed but I want to meet more people and make larger my chances of meeting someone who fits my standards and yet isn't gay.


WHAT DO?

Socialize.
You're a special case, Babylon.  You are offensive even when you don't post.

Merely by being alive, you make everyone just a little more miserable

-Dok Howl
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