New People Should Probably Read This.

[iarmit]

looks to be a digi-camo hat/cover/proper-branch-dependent-named-head-attire

[Don Coyote]

looks to be a digi-camo hat/cover/proper-branch-dependent-named-head-attire

We call them TROUTS, and no I will not explain what it stands for. That is classified.

[iarmit]

[morosa]

I want Dark Empress Nigel to anvil a yam into my guts...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I want Dark Empress Nigel to anvil a yam into my guts...

Hammer.

An anvil is meant to be stationary, so would be of little use in the scenario.

[Phox]

I want Dark Empress Nigel to anvil a yam into my guts...

Hammer.

An anvil is meant to be stationary, so would be of little use in the scenario.

No, I believe that this person wishes you to pick him/her/hir up and then use his/her/hir body AS a hammer on a yam that is situated on an anvil.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I want Dark Empress Nigel to anvil a yam into my guts...

Hammer.

An anvil is meant to be stationary, so would be of little use in the scenario.

No, I believe that this person wishes you to pick him/her/hir up and then use his/her/hir body AS a hammer on a yam that is situated on an anvil.

This seems impractical, as I am a bit on the small side.

[Luna]

I want Dark Empress Nigel to anvil a yam into my guts...

Hammer.

An anvil is meant to be stationary, so would be of little use in the scenario.

No, I believe that this person wishes you to pick him/her/hir up and then use his/her/hir body AS a hammer on a yam that is situated on an anvil.

This seems impractical, as I am a bit on the small side.

Well, as long as you're participating, I can't imagine he can object if you employ a couple of the guys to do the heavy lifting.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I want Dark Empress Nigel to anvil a yam into my guts...

Hammer.

An anvil is meant to be stationary, so would be of little use in the scenario.

No, I believe that this person wishes you to pick him/her/hir up and then use his/her/hir body AS a hammer on a yam that is situated on an anvil.

This seems impractical, as I am a bit on the small side.

Well, as long as you're participating, I can't imagine he can object if you employ a couple of the guys to do the heavy lifting.

This is a good point, and a PERFECT way of including TGRR and ECH!

[morosa]

I want Dark Empress Nigel to anvil a yam into my guts...

Hammer.

An anvil is meant to be stationary, so would be of little use in the scenario.

No, I believe that this person wishes you to pick him/her/hir up and then use his/her/hir body AS a hammer on a yam that is situated on an anvil.

This seems impractical, as I am a bit on the small side.

Well, as long as you're participating, I can't imagine he can object if you employ a couple of the guys to do the heavy lifting.

This is a good point, and a PERFECT way of including TGRR and ECH!

Now we have a fun new group project! Can I request Cram as a looker-on?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Gonna need to include Richter.  I sent my anvil to him via mail, remember?

[Luna]

Gonna need to include Richter.  I sent my anvil to him via mail, remember?

I'll record it for posterior posterity. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Gonna need to include Richter.  I sent my anvil to him via mail, remember?

This family fun is for EVERYONE!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

NEW PEOPLE:  PLEASE FILL OUT THIS FORM LETTER AND SEND TO YOUR FOLKS, SO THEY WON'T WORRY.

Hello Mother and Father,

I am writing to you to tell you that this is the last time that you will ever hear from me.  Since my induction into the Church of Discordianism my eyes have been opened to many Truths.  Reverend Roger and Dark Empress Nigel have been counseling me almost non-stop.  They have explained to me that you are EVIL, and that after this final letter to you, I must never have contact with you again. 

You are EVIL because of the oil that you squander and pollute the Earth with.  You are EVIL because of your shoulder-to-the-grindstone work ethic, wasting your lives in the shallow pursuit of material wealth.  You are EVIL because of the pain and suffering that your way of life causes the impoverished peoples of third world countries.  You are EVIL because you made me clean up my room before I could go out with my friends.

I want you to know that though I HATE YOU, I'll always love you.  Don't try to find me; I'm very happy here in my closet assembling clockwork Nixon dolls and other Swag.  I have to go now because I have to work on increasing my production or Triple Zero won't give me my daily carrot and alfalfa sprig.

I'LL BE GLAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD.

Love,
<Your Name>

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

NEW PEOPLE:  PLEASE FILL OUT THIS FORM LETTER AND SEND TO YOUR FOLKS, SO THEY WON'T WORRY.

Hello Mother and Father,

I am writing to you to tell you that this is the last time that you will ever hear from me.  Since my induction into the Church of Discordianism my eyes have been opened to many Truths.  Reverend Roger and Dark Empress Nigel have been counseling me almost non-stop.  They have explained to me that you are EVIL, and that after this final letter to you, I must never have contact with you again. 

You are EVIL because of the oil that you squander and pollute the Earth with.  You are EVIL because of your shoulder-to-the-grindstone work ethic, wasting your lives in the shallow pursuit of material wealth.  You are EVIL because of the pain and suffering that your way of life causes the impoverished peoples of third world countries.  You are EVIL because you made me clean up my room before I could go out with my friends.

I want you to know that though I HATE YOU, I'll always love you.  Don't try to find me; I'm very happy here in my closet assembling clockwork Nixon dolls and other Swag.  I have to go now because I have to work on increasing my production or Triple Zero won't give me my daily carrot and alfalfa sprig.

I'LL BE GLAD WHEN YOU'RE DEAD.

Love,
<Your Name>

I had to wipe a tear from my eye.