Who wants to play a game? (Or: Humor Me, I'm Bored)

[Cuddlefish]

SPILL THE BEANS YOU EMICIATED LITTLE TWIT OR IF WE EVER MEET I WILL HAVE YOUR TESTICLES ON A PLATE WITH HOT SAUCE!!!

Okay, Okay...

BOOM!

The box blows the fuck up, taking out all of apple-talk, and damaging the other sub-forums badly, leaving only High-Weirdness and Principia Discussion. Somehow, strangely, Open Bar remained as well.

Internet Archeologists From The Future discover the remains years later. By putting together the random fragments, they were able to re-create any objects from the Box Of Mystery. These are things they found:

Any combination of words that contained either Five Vowels OR Three Vowels and Two Y's

Thanks for playing.

[The Rev]

SPILL THE BEANS YOU EMICIATED LITTLE TWIT OR IF WE EVER MEET I WILL HAVE YOUR TESTICLES ON A PLATE WITH HOT SAUCE!!!

Okay, Okay...

BOOM!

The box blows the fuck up, taking out all of apple-talk, and damaging the other sub-forums badly, leaving only High-Weirdness and Principia Discussion. Somehow, strangely, Open Bar remained as well.

Internet Archeologists From The Future discover the remains years later. By putting together the random fragments, they were able to re-create any objects from the Box Of Mystery. These are things they found:

Any combination of words that contained either Five Vowels OR Three Vowels and Two Y's

Thanks for playing.

imma hurt you

[Cramulus]

yeah, it's the "OR Three Vowels and Two Y's" that is making me plot your demise right now 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I suspect Discordian chess involves a lot of tipping over the board

[Cuddlefish]

yeah, it's the "OR Three Vowels and Two Y's" that is making me plot your demise right now 

I thought it would have been fairly obvious after the whole "Box Of Mystery is inside the Box Of Mystery clue.

Derp...

It was fun for me 

[Triple Zero]

ARRRRG Just too late to play along

yeah, it's the "OR Three Vowels and Two Y's" that is making me plot your demise right now 

Hey man, my rule would have been if the MD5 hash of the text contains at least five 5's and/or the numbers 23 next to eachother. Which is cAse sensiTIVE, btw.

It includes: hole, empty beer bottles, Kittens., vehicles with wheels, orchard fruit, cd's, dvd's, the answers to this riddle, Schrodinger's simultaneously dead and alive cat, mythical beings, sculpture, Whitney Houston, the number 19, plastic dolls, robots, trains, opened grave, lyrics and rhymes, poop cereal, Hot Anal Beads, hammer and nails, Box Of Mystery.

But not: syllables spoken, funny pranks, spoons, clean bowls, body, a grave to open, beers to drink, cholera spray hose, 8 ounces of coffee, sheet music, SOUP TINS, empty pop bottles, Beer cans, bottle openers for wine bottles, pint of soup, yellow jewels, pastry, a crypt, bottles, sheet music, dress pattern, Vehicles without wheels, a church key, flying vehicles, noises, Legendary Dongles, Ugly Hookers, discord, chaos, time, helicopter, Sulphur, needle and thread, jigsaw puzzle, Dr. Dre, nuts and bolts, A gay skydiver, ugly hookers, a chinese dance group, asparagus, Snuffleupagusses, pretty flowers, buttons, a cup of coffee, billboards, your face, potatoes, an apple peeler, nothing, a lump of clay, rhymes and lyrics, practical jokes, quart of soup, bottle openers, yellow crystals, cars, trucks and bikes, pie with apples, musical notes, cacophonies, Evil Jizz Pandas, Cramulus Wins It, paints and brushes, FRIIIIES, flying fairy, gay skydivers, a classy lady, peanut butter

OBVIOUSLY.

[The Rev]

SPILL THE BEANS YOU EMICIATED LITTLE TWIT OR IF WE EVER MEET I WILL HAVE YOUR TESTICLES ON A PLATE WITH HOT SAUCE!!!

Okay, Okay...

BOOM!

The box blows the fuck up, taking out all of apple-talk, and damaging the other sub-forums badly, leaving only High-Weirdness and Principia Discussion. Somehow, strangely, Open Bar remained as well.

Internet Archeologists From The Future discover the remains years later. By putting together the random fragments, they were able to re-create any objects from the Box Of Mystery. These are things they found:

Any combination of words that contained either Five Vowels OR Three Vowels and Two Y's

Thanks for playing.

You cheated.

gay skydivers has 3 vowels and 2 y's.

open beer bottles has 6 vowels

open pop bottles has 5 vowels

[Triple Zero]

Hm, I checked my lists and I got "gay skydivers" in the YES category, so that's correct.

I don't have "open beer bottles" or "open pop bottles" listed anywhere, just "empty beer bottles" and "empty pop bottles", both in the NO category.

However, does the "y" itself count as a vowel? If not, then "empty beer bottles" has 5 vowels. If it does, "empty pop bottles" has 5 vowels.

Maybe the rule Dimo had in mind was (5 vowels and no y's) OR (3 vowels and 2 y's), that fits the lists I've been keeping.

Without the "no y's" requirement in the first part of the rule, the words empty beer bottles, legendary dongles, whitney houston would also have been correct (though they were stated not to be).

In Python:
>>> def is_in_mystery_box(word):
...     return (vowels(word) == 5 and word.count('y') == 0) or (vowels(word) == 3 and word.count('y') == 2)
...
>>> all(is_in_mystery_box(w) for w in yes)
True
>>> not any(is_in_mystery_box(w) for w in no)
True

Complete sorted list:

                                          word     vowels   y's

                                8 ounces of coffee     7     0
                             a chinese dance group     8     0
                                      a church key     3     1
                                     a classy lady     3     2
                                           a crypt     1     1
                                   a cup of coffee     6     0
                                    a gay skydiver     4     2
                                   a grave to open     6     0
                                    a lump of clay     4     1
                                   an apple peeler     6     0
                                         asparagus     4     0
                                         beer cans     3     0
                                    beers to drink     4     0
                                        billboards     3     0
                                              body     1     1
                                    bottle openers     5     0
                   bottle openers for wine bottles    10     0
                                           bottles     2     0
                                    box of mystery     3     2
                                           buttons     2     0
                                       cacophonies     5     0
                            cars, trucks and bikes     5     0
                                              cd's     0     0
                                             chaos     2     0
                                cholera spray hose     6     1
                                       clean bowls     3     0
                                  cramulus wins it     5     0
                                           discord     2     0
                                           dr. dre     1     0
                                     dress pattern     3     0
                                             dvd's     0     0
                                empty beer bottles     5     1
                                 empty pop bottles     4     1
                                  evil jizz pandas     5     0
                                      flying fairy     3     2
                                   flying vehicles     4     1
                                          friiiies     5     0
                                      funny pranks     2     1
                                     gay skydivers     3     2
                                  hammer and nails     5     0
                                        helicopter     4     0
                                              hole     2     0
                                    hot anal beads     5     0
                                     jigsaw puzzle     4     0
                                          kittens.     2     0
                                 legendary dongles     5     1
                                 lyrics and rhymes     3     2
                                     musical notes     5     0
                                   mythical beings     4     1
                                 needle and thread     6     0
                                            noises     3     0
                                           nothing     2     0
                                    nuts and bolts     3     0
                                      opened grave     5     0
                                     orchard fruit     4     0
                                paints and brushes     5     0
                                            pastry     1     1
                                     peanut butter     5     0
                                   pie with apples     5     0
                                      pint of soup     4     0
                                     plastic dolls     3     0
                                       poop cereal     5     0
                                          potatoes     4     0
                                   practical jokes     5     0
                                    pretty flowers     3     1
                                     quart of soup     5     0
                                 rhymes and lyrics     3     2
                                            robots     2     0
   schrodinger's simultaneously dead and alive cat    16     1
                                         sculpture     3     0
                                       sheet music     4     0
                                       sheet music     4     0
                                  snuffleupagusses     6     0
                                         soup tins     3     0
                                            spoons     2     0
                                           sulphur     2     0
                                  syllables spoken     4     1
                        the answers to this riddle     7     0
                                     the number 19     3     0
                              this riddle's answer     5     0
                                              time     2     0
                                            trains     2     0
                                      ugly hookers     4     1
                                      ugly hookers     4     1
                              vehicles with wheels     6     0
                           vehicles without wheels     8     0
                                   whitney houston     5     1
                                   yellow crystals     3     2
                                     yellow jewels     4     1
                                         your face     4     1

[The Rev]

AH SHIT, I did say empty instead of open.

[Cuddlefish]

Holy shit, Trip. Glad you weren't playing, my fun would likely have ended abruptly if you had been!

[Cuddlefish]

Also: I feel justified with the additional "Y" rule. Just five vowels would have been too easy. I wouldn't pander to you people.

Also, also: A million-gajillion points and fifteen internets to any one that can write a short story/scenario using all the objects from inside the Box Of Mystery (seeing how Trip has a convenient list up).

[Placid Dingo]

Can I put a box here Dimo or should I start a new thread. I came too late to play but it looks fun

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Hey, if I get enough "do it Twid" votes, I'll try my best to kick Dimo's ass (He's a martial artist so I'll probably lose, but I'll try to make it a good sucker punch) since he's just the next state over.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I almost posted purple dildoes.

and it would have been a winner. Balls.

[Freeky]

Ooh, ooh, yes! Again!  I can throw a Mystery Box together toot sweet!