Seguin, Texas on a Saturday Night

[EK WAFFLR]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sami_people

[Doktor Howl]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sami_people

Oh, Laplanders.  How did that become a perjorative?

[EK WAFFLR]

If you mean Laplanders as a pejorative term, I'm not sure, but people up in that li'l shithole I grew up in used the term Lapp, and it was not a term of endearment.

[Doktor Howl]

If you mean Laplanders as a pejorative term, I'm not sure, but people up in that li'l shithole I grew up in used the term Lapp, and it was not a term of endearment.

Back in the 70s, our geography class covered Norway, among other places.  They taught "Lapp" as the word for the indigenous people in Norway.

Of course, in the 70s, they still referred to Native Americans as "Indian", and Blacks as "colored people".

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Nailed it, Dok.  Renee read it too and wants to know who the woman at the Texas Cooler was? I suspect one with her hair bleached to the shade of a wooly mammoth that's been frozen for 20,000 years...haven't seen her in awhile, thought she might have fallen into a tar pit.

Woooow, I've seen and/or heard of some weird/awful/gross things in worse parts of town and/or worse off cities, but it all seemed to be symptomatic of "city life"/drugs/poverty and sort of...fit it? (not that it makes it ok). That all just sounds so creepy, and unreal. How does anyone live there? (sorry, Stella)

No need for apologies, I love slamming this shithole. 
It's a combination of things. One is propaganda, the papers are always on about what a great place this is to live and raise kids. There's a feature called "Citizen Of The Week" where they interview someone local at random (never me - can't imagne why  ) and this mantra gets repeated EVERY TIME. (The also ask such probing questions as "If you could invite five people, living or dead, to a dinner party, who would they be" The answer is always something along the lines of "Grandma and Grandpa, Jesus, George Bush and Glenn Beck")

Another option is staying drunk.

There's also the fact that the majority don't make *quite* enough money to get the fuck out.

And then you have the flattened double helixes that Dok mentioned. Most of them were raised here. "Ain't been no further'n San Antonio. Ain't had no need to go."

It's a place where you see Chihuahuas chained outside because "dogs make the house stink" but you need a hazmat suit to enter a public restroom.

[Doktor Howl]

No need for apologies, I love slamming this shithole. 
It's a combination of things. One is propaganda, the papers are always on about what a great place this is to live and raise kids. There's a feature called "Citizen Of The Week" where they interview someone local at random (never me - can't imagne why  )

Weren't you telling me they did one on the village idiot? 

[Doktor Howl]

Nailed it, Dok.  Renee read it too and wants to know who the woman at the Texas Cooler was? I suspect one with her hair bleached to the shade of a wooly mammoth that's been frozen for 20,000 years...haven't seen her in awhile, thought she might have fallen into a tar pit.

Heavy middle-aged woman with blond from a bottle.  Greenish teeth, elbow flaps, skin looks like dough.

[EK WAFFLR]

If you mean Laplanders as a pejorative term, I'm not sure, but people up in that li'l shithole I grew up in used the term Lapp, and it was not a term of endearment.

Back in the 70s, our geography class covered Norway, among other places.  They taught "Lapp" as the word for the indigenous people in Norway.

Of course, in the 70s, they still referred to Native Americans as "Indian", and Blacks as "colored people".

We had geography books from the fifties at school, in the shithole. Some... weird... terms in those books.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

No need for apologies, I love slamming this shithole. 
It's a combination of things. One is propaganda, the papers are always on about what a great place this is to live and raise kids. There's a feature called "Citizen Of The Week" where they interview someone local at random (never me - can't imagne why  )

Weren't you telling me they did one on the village idiot? 

Yes, Crazy Fred.

Crazy Fred is an old drunk who walks around begging. People feel sorry for him and let him clean their yards, or sleep in their sheds. He always ends up stealing from them. They featured him because he'd allegedly given some guy CPR. Not sure how he managed that, since he's so incoherent they skipped the dinner party question that week. 

We have another character called Nicki, she's a streetwalker. She used to be a big girl, but she went on the "rock diet" and now she's all cottage-cheesey with Daisy Dukes up to the small of her back. She got busted a year or two back and they sent her to rehab. When people noticed she wasn't around, a rumor started that she's been murdered, that she'd fought her attacker so hard that her fingernails were peeled backwards. I know her sister and knew what really happened, and I COULD NOT CONVINCE ANYBODY that Nicki wasn't dead. They all "heard it from somebody who heard it from a cop." I guess it was one of their moral cautionary tales, "black hookers come to a bad end" or something like that.

When she got out, I pointed her out to somebody and they said "That's not Nicki, that's her sister." 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Nailed it, Dok.  Renee read it too and wants to know who the woman at the Texas Cooler was? I suspect one with her hair bleached to the shade of a wooly mammoth that's been frozen for 20,000 years...haven't seen her in awhile, thought she might have fallen into a tar pit.

Heavy middle-aged woman with blond from a bottle.  Greenish teeth, elbow flaps, skin looks like dough.

Yep. That's her.

[Doktor Howl]

Nailed it, Dok.  Renee read it too and wants to know who the woman at the Texas Cooler was? I suspect one with her hair bleached to the shade of a wooly mammoth that's been frozen for 20,000 years...haven't seen her in awhile, thought she might have fallen into a tar pit.

Heavy middle-aged woman with blond from a bottle.  Greenish teeth, elbow flaps, skin looks like dough.

Yep. That's her.

So who was the toothless dude?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Nailed it, Dok.  Renee read it too and wants to know who the woman at the Texas Cooler was? I suspect one with her hair bleached to the shade of a wooly mammoth that's been frozen for 20,000 years...haven't seen her in awhile, thought she might have fallen into a tar pit.

Heavy middle-aged woman with blond from a bottle.  Greenish teeth, elbow flaps, skin looks like dough.

Yep. That's her.

So who was the toothless dude?

That we don't know. "guy weighing maybe 95 pounds...maybe 25, and apparently had no teeth" describes a lot of people here.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I'm gonna have to remember the "FBI" trick next time I find myself in the Wild.

WARNING: The FBI doesn't like it when people lie about being them. So, um, don't do that. Or get caught. Whichever.

[Doktor Howl]

I'm gonna have to remember the "FBI" trick next time I find myself in the Wild.

WARNING: The FBI doesn't like it when people lie about being them. So, um, don't do that. Or get caught. Whichever.

Fuck the FBI.  They don't like it when people have sex, for Chrissakes.

And in that situation, how would you get caught?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Hoover liked it when people had sex. A little too much.