Daily Discordia

[tyrannosaurus vex]

You implied that she took orders from someone.

I did not. In the least.

Liar.

my gravest insult was calling her a bit daft and pointing out that she is easily led by people she defers to

Do you simply not understand what those words mean?

Prediction:  Holist loses interest in this thread at this point.   

Holist apparently also subscribes to "Holistic Education" and "Homeopathic Intelligence."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You implied that she took orders from someone.

I did not. In the least.

Liar.

my gravest insult was calling her a bit daft and pointing out that she is easily led by people she defers to

Do you simply not understand what those words mean?

Prediction:  Holist loses interest in this thread at this point.   

Holist apparently also subscribes to "Holistic Education" and "Homeopathic Intelligence."

The original meaning of "holistic" (which lasted about 3 seconds) was to treat an illness by both attacking the illness itself, while ensuring the best possible conditions for the patient to recover in...Ie, proper diet, proper rest, proper exercise (if possible), proper and attentive medical care.

Then the hippies got ahold of it, and now it means "drown the fucking thing in patchouli oil and mumble something about Native Americans".

Holistic education? 

SHOULD MEAN:  Education that is well-rounded, and geared for the world the student is preparing for.

DOES MEAN:  Drown the fucking kid in patchouli oil and mumble something about Native Americans.

[SecretlyHalal]

Your grandmother knows people fuck.

As previously mentioned, I was in high school at the time. My worry was not that I would sully my grandmother's naive innocence, but rather that I would get into trouble.

Better for her to jump YOUR shit about fucking in her house than to shock some kid.

It was never my intention to shock a kid, or to shock anyone for that matter. I did NOT go out of my way to ensure that anyone would find our trash, nor did I ever confirm that anyone found it after all. In my post, I mentioned that we thought the egg would remain undiscovered in the ditch where we discarded it. Neither of us had any way of knowing that somebody would set up an egg hunt there, as ditches are not typically ideal for that sort of thing. We had driven by that trailer park many times and never seen any children playing there.

If my kids were little and they found an egg with a fucking used condom in it, I'd assume since it was in a plastic easter egg, some pervert put it there for them to find and I'd make a police report. Cops LOVE catching pedos, it's a pretty substantial felony catch and I'm sure they'd check for prints as well as running the DNA.

How intimidating. I would love to see someone try to report me to the cops as a "pedophile." (Btw, check your semantics. You seem to be confusing "pedophile" with "predator." Being a pedophile is actually not illegal.) Neither my DNA nor my prints would be in their system, as I have no criminal record whatsoever (despite the seemingly pervasive belief on this forum that I'm a sociopathic child molester). Not to mention the undeniable fact that I don't even remotely fit the profile of a sex offender. Throwing a condom into a ditch where two weeks later it happens to be accidentally found by someone is not a felony. My only "crime" would be littering, which is a misdemeanor charge at worst. The cops would be pissed off at you for wasting their time.

[SecretlyHalal]

As for people's reaction to my Erister Egg Hunt story, I don't even know where to begin. I think in order to demonstrate the absurdity of the ire directed my way, I will respond to a forum member in the same harsh, insulting tone with which he responded to me -- using his own quotes in my reply.

Fidel Castro:

What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, why would you choose a username like that? Fidel Castro was a corrupt communist dictator who routinely deprived innocent Cuban citizens of their most basic human rights. Is that a fucking joke to you? It is extremely tactless and disrespectful to all the people who suffered under Castro's repressive regime for you to post on this forum using his name, making light of their struggles. But then again, Cuba is an impoverished country compared to the United States, and their standard of living is pretty low. After all, poor people don't really count as people. It's okay for their governments to do horribly inappropriate things to their them, because they're just animals and shit.

You describe yourself as a "GRAMMAR NAZI."

Wow, I guess it's cool now to make light of Nazism and the Holocaust, too. You clearly have no empathy for the widespread suffering of others, to joke around about serious issues like that. I'd say that makes you a sociopath at best.

"Platonic Dildo Sharpener?" "One-Armed Jizz Moppers?"

That's actually kinda squicky. Does thinking about somebody mopping up ejaculate provide you with some kind of cheap thrill? How utterly disgusting. You're fucked up in the head. And having a missing limb is not something to fucking joke about either.

[SecretlyHalal]

Seriously, people. Get the sticks out of your asses, and dismount your high horses. You are outraged over something I giggled at when I was a fucking teenager. Do you realize that when you google "Erister EGGgasm," one of the suggestions (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Erister%20Egg%20Hunt) is to fill a plastic egg with a condom? (Clearly, the Discordians who wrote that must have been very different indeed.) I found it incredibly ironic that I'd accidentally done that very thing as a sixteen-year-old in high school, which is why I posted the story in the first place. But I NEVER intended for anyone to find the condom, especially not a child. I did NOT place it there specifically for a kid to stumble upon; I was attempting to dispose of it. I do NOT know if it was ever found. I did NOT sit there in my car watching them conduct the egg hunt, touching myself like some pervert and becoming sexually aroused at the thought of a child finding it. My boyfriend and I simply giggled nervously to ourselves, thinking, "Oh my goodness, how awkward! I can't believe they're egg hunting there. Who would've thought they'd arrange an egg hunt by the ditch?! What if they found our...?" I was NOT in any way thrilled or elated at the thought of shocking a child.

IF anyone did find our egg...honestly, so what? What harm could come of it? NONE. What suffering did it cause? NONE. Would a mere tube of rubber terrify a child to the point that he'd be plagued by nightmares for months after the event? NO. Is finding a two-week-old, shriveled up piece of trash inside an Easter egg going to traumatize a child so much that he would be scarred for life? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Try to think realistically about this incident for a change. If the egg was found by a kid, what probably happened as a result? The kid was most likely confused, perhaps a bit grossed out. He might have taken the egg to an adult to ask what it was, and I'm sure the adult would've disposed of it for him, possibly explaining what was inside. If not, the kid probably just tossed the thing back to the ground, or disposed of it himself. What it boils down to is a total NON-EVENT -- nothing to cause me horror or shame.

My boyfriend and I didn't sit there in my car cackling at the hilarity of a child handling a condom. (Besides, I highly doubt the prophylactic was "handled" anyway, even if it did happen to be found.) We laughed uncomfortably and sort of in disbelief, because the situation was awkward and ridiculous. I'm at a complete loss as to how reaction makes me a classist, a sociopath, a pedophile, a "playground masturbator," or a sexual predator.

[EK WAFFLR]

 

[SecretlyHalal]

This forum reeks to high heaven of hypocrisy.

For example, the phrase "think for yourself" is overused to the point of redundancy, yet members will boorishly attack anyone whose views seem to differ from their own. In my first post (which was pretty concise, to avoid tl;dr), I mentioned following the Law of Fives. Instead of asking me to expand on what I meant by that, someone instead felt the need to inform my poor, unenlightened self that it was a parody demonstrating confirmation bias -- which I, of course, already knew. (One could hardly read the Principia Discordia and not realize how much of it is satirical.) The same individual also told me that meditating on symbols has the same effect as "praying to a stop sign" -- once again, without requesting or awaiting clarification of my statement, as if I might actually believe that symbols are magical and can answer my prayers. The person who jumped to such conclusions was obviously wrong, but what if he hadn't been? What if I did believe in the Law of Fives and magical symbols? Is it his, or anyone else's, prerogative to deem me a false Discordian on that basis?

The people here strike me as a bunch of spags who are pissed off at the world, who misunderstand simple statements, who jump to preposterous conclusions, who fly off the handle at the most inconsequential things, and who scream "THINK FOR YOURSELF!" at the top of their lungs while harshly denigrating those who disagree with them. If your aim is to generate growth within the Discordian community, this is a counterproductive strategy. However, if this is the impression you wish to convey, then by all means carry on.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Fidel Castro:

What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, why would you choose a username like that? Fidel Castro was a corrupt communist dictator who routinely deprived innocent Cuban citizens of their most basic human rights. Is that a fucking joke to you? It is extremely tactless and disrespectful to all the people who suffered under Castro's repressive regime for you to post on this forum using his name, making light of their struggles. But then again, Cuba is an impoverished country compared to the United States, and their standard of living is pretty low. After all, poor people don't really count as people. It's okay for their governments to do horribly inappropriate things to their them, because they're just animals and shit.

You describe yourself as a "GRAMMAR NAZI."

Wow, I guess it's cool now to make light of Nazism and the Holocaust, too. You clearly have no empathy for the widespread suffering of others, to joke around about serious issues like that. I'd say that makes you a sociopath at best.

"Platonic Dildo Sharpener?" "One-Armed Jizz Moppers?"

That's actually kinda squicky. Does thinking about somebody mopping up ejaculate provide you with some kind of cheap thrill? How utterly disgusting. You're fucked up in the head. And having a missing limb is not something to fucking joke about either.

I'm comfortable with all of that.  Before I was a GRAMMAR NAZI, it read HORRIBLE BASTARD, which I personally think was more accurate.  But it's not like I had a choice, right?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This forum reeks to high heaven of hypocrisy.

It's worse than that, actually. 

But it's too late anyway.  You've breathed the air...The change is irreversible.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You implied that she took orders from someone.

I did not. In the least.

Liar.

my gravest insult was calling her a bit daft and pointing out that she is easily led by people she defers to

Do you simply not understand what those words mean?

Prediction:  Holist loses interest in this thread at this point.   

Holist apparently also subscribes to "Holistic Education" and "Homeopathic Intelligence."

The original meaning of "holistic" (which lasted about 3 seconds) was to treat an illness by both attacking the illness itself, while ensuring the best possible conditions for the patient to recover in...Ie, proper diet, proper rest, proper exercise (if possible), proper and attentive medical care.

Then the hippies got ahold of it, and now it means "drown the fucking thing in patchouli oil and mumble something about Native Americans".

Holistic education? 

SHOULD MEAN:  Education that is well-rounded, and geared for the world the student is preparing for.

DOES MEAN:  Drown the fucking kid in patchouli oil and mumble something about Native Americans.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

FYI, this:

I've always gotten a kick out of putting awkward, shocking, or confusing items in Easter eggs and including them in family or church egg hunts, then giggling as the unsuspecting participants reacted with surprise, amusement, or even outrage when they opened their eggs.

Combined with this:

There were a bunch of trailer park kids with baskets playing in the ditch and the nearby field, ostensibly conducting an egg hunt. We snickered to ourselves, wondering if they'd found our "offering."

Makes you sound like a complete shitneck. How can you not recognize that?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Nigel, I fear that I have alienated our new user, Falafel or whatever her name is.

I was on my best behavior, even.   

[The Good Reverend Roger]

FYI, this:

I've always gotten a kick out of putting awkward, shocking, or confusing items in Easter eggs and including them in family or church egg hunts, then giggling as the unsuspecting participants reacted with surprise, amusement, or even outrage when they opened their eggs.

Combined with this:

There were a bunch of trailer park kids with baskets playing in the ditch and the nearby field, ostensibly conducting an egg hunt. We snickered to ourselves, wondering if they'd found our "offering."

Makes you sound like a complete shitneck. How can you not recognize that?

I like the egg idea.  Only without the used condom + kids bit.

It has potential.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Your grandmother knows people fuck.

As previously mentioned, I was in high school at the time. My worry was not that I would sully my grandmother's naive innocence, but rather that I would get into trouble.

And you haven't evolved since, I see. "OH LOLZ WE THREW OUT A CONDOM IN AN EASTER EGG AND THEN SOME KIDS WERE HUNTING EASTER EGGS IN THAT SAME PLACE!!!!! ZOMG HURRRRR I HAS DONE EGGAZM!!!!!"

Better for her to jump YOUR shit about fucking in her house than to shock some kid.

It was never my intention to shock a kid, or to shock anyone for that matter. I did NOT go out of my way to ensure that anyone would find our trash, nor did I ever confirm that anyone found it after all. In my post, I mentioned that we thought the egg would remain undiscovered in the ditch where we discarded it. Neither of us had any way of knowing that somebody would set up an egg hunt there, as ditches are not typically ideal for that sort of thing. We had driven by that trailer park many times and never seen any children playing there.

The issue wasn't intent. The issue was that you think it's TEH FUNNAY.

If my kids were little and they found an egg with a fucking used condom in it, I'd assume since it was in a plastic easter egg, some pervert put it there for them to find and I'd make a police report. Cops LOVE catching pedos, it's a pretty substantial felony catch and I'm sure they'd check for prints as well as running the DNA.

How intimidating. I would love to see someone try to report me to the cops as a "pedophile." (Btw, check your semantics. You seem to be confusing "pedophile" with "predator." Being a pedophile is actually not illegal.) Neither my DNA nor my prints would be in their system, as I have no criminal record whatsoever (despite the seemingly pervasive belief on this forum that I'm a sociopathic child molester). Not to mention the undeniable fact that I don't even remotely fit the profile of a sex offender. Throwing a condom into a ditch where two weeks later it happens to be accidentally found by someone is not a felony. My only "crime" would be littering, which is a misdemeanor charge at worst. The cops would be pissed off at you for wasting their time.

[/quote]

If you drive, they've got your prints. If they got a clear print off of it, you'd be charged, whether you "fit the profile of a sex offender" or not.

Indeed. I think we got a live one. 

Seriously, people. Get the sticks out of your asses, and dismount your high horses. You are outraged over something I giggled at when I was a fucking teenager. Do you realize that when you google "Erister EGGgasm," one of the suggestions (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Erister%20Egg%20Hunt) is to fill a plastic egg with a condom? (Clearly, the Discordians who wrote that must have been very different indeed.)...

Condom in a wrapper, not your spooge-filled toxic waste. And it's generally assumed that adult items should be left for adults to find.

Interesting that Cram is "very different indeed", though.