Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar

[Suu]

I have found that when people get anti-Muslim on the Facebook, and say that Christians never do such terrible things, I tell them about this tiny country I know of called Bosnia.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'm a good guy.

Such a good guy, that apparently, I'm going to get a free drink at some point.

Long story short, saw guy was fucked up on bench, talked to his girlfriend, and then his brother. Let them know where he was. Pills+booze, from what they tell me.

I don't like being a good guy. I don't want the free drink. I just want to make sure the asshole is ok and gets home.

[Suu]

Some people think that all deeds need to be rewarded, when it fact, the truest of deeds are the ones that seek no reward.

In other news, this week's episode of Doctor Who is one of the weirdest I've ever seen.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Yeah . . . the whole "you're so NOBLE for doing something decent" rubs me the wrong way.

My boyfriend wants a bouquet and a tiara every time he puts the toilet seat down.

My best friend gives strays and stray kids a place to stay and get their shit together and calls it doing what needs doing. "We gotta take care of ourselves and each other because ain't no one else gonna."

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It's retarded. I don't need a reward. I found a fucked up dude on a bench in Somerville, not a hard thing to do, I might add, and I just decided to see if he was ok. Like a human being would. We've all been fucked up. It happens. Just make sure fucked up guy gets home safe. No big. Apparently it is in this case, but I had no clue going into it. I just wanted to make sure drunk dude got home.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yeah . . . the whole "you're so NOBLE for doing something decent" rubs me the wrong way.

My boyfriend wants a bouquet and a tiara every time he puts the toilet seat down.

My best friend gives strays and stray kids a place to stay and get their shit together and calls it doing what needs doing. "We gotta take care of ourselves and each other because ain't no one else gonna."

Or the people who do something ONCE and think it should fix the problem FOREVER.

"I just cleaned the kitchen yesterday, what's this goddamn fork doing in the sink?"

(Overheard at a church) "We gave you food just last month. I'm not going to let you make a habit of this."

"The goddamn dog pissed on the floor, I just took that motherfucker out this morning!" (at 11 pm)

etc.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'm such a good guy.

I'm such a good guy that if you are a panhandler, I will ignore, perhaps even be curt with you.

I'm such a good guy that if I hear you preaching against faggots on the train, I might not stand up for myself, because, I don't know what to do. Even though, you know.

I'm such a good guy that I do what I have to, and only that.

I'm such a good guy that I'm mostly isolated out of work, school, and spending time with my girlfriend.

I'm such a good guy that I still have a hard time caring about myself.

I'm such a good guy that I love all of you, even though I've met very few of you, some of which are $9 away and I still don't visit.

I'm such a good guy, I helped a random guy tonight.

I'm such a good guy, that that apparently makes up for everything, in the eyes of someone.

Twid,
Asshole.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I don't want to be a good guy.

I don't want to be a bad guy.

I just want to be a guy.

Ok, maybe I want to suddenly be a chick so I can play with my own titties for a solid 24. But other than that. Just be a human. Why's it hard? I don't understand the violence at this point. Generally speakaing.

[Lenin McCarthy]

Hey, person who stole my bike.

Thanks.

I love you too.

Yours sincerely,
Lenin

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I don't want to be a good guy.

I don't want to be a bad guy.

I just want to be a guy.

Ok, maybe I want to suddenly be a chick so I can play with my own titties for a solid 24. But other than that. Just be a human. Why's it hard? I don't understand the violence at this point. Generally speakaing.

I want to be a guy too! :P Also, I play with my own titties all the time and it is FABULOUS!

This post is brought to you by extremely excessive amounts of sugar and sleep deprivation.

[Cain]

Hey, person who stole my bike.

Thanks.

I love you too.

Yours sincerely,
Lenin

I'm just borrowing it for the forseeable future.  It's not theft, it's a long-term loan without consequences for default.

[Reginald Ret]

It's retarded. I don't need a reward. I found a fucked up dude on a bench in Somerville, not a hard thing to do, I might add, and I just decided to see if he was ok. Like a human being would. We've all been fucked up. It happens. Just make sure fucked up guy gets home safe. No big. Apparently it is in this case, but I had no clue going into it. I just wanted to make sure drunk dude got home.

That's what you get for leaving the victims of your altruism a way to contact you.
If you are in a situation where it is impossible to keep your acts of good will private, half-ass it. To use the dishes example: preemptively leave one dirty fork after you are done. That way no one will thank you. (while you still get to follow your instinctive desire to not be a complete shitbag.)

[Suu]

This should fix everyone's day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en&gl=US&client=mv-google&v=1lMUDlVPS8I&nomobile=1

[Cain]

Making a list, checking it twice, deciding what to bring to Switzerland and what to give to charity.

Santa Cain is leaving, this town (la la la).

[Cainad (dec.)]

Some things I learned yesterday:

1) If you like folk metal, but are also a total square and want to go to a folk metal concert with your group of equally square friends, some earplugs make the whole experience a lot less draining. The music actually becomes easier to hear, thanks to noise reduction.

2) Being able to sit is a lot better if you're also the kind of square who has a wonky back and can't be jostled around in a mosh pit without seizing up. Sit up and out of the pit, with all the older metal fans.

3) When Heidevolk shows up, you take out the earplugs because they're the act you were saving your energy for and they can fucking kill it on stage.

4) Trollfest likes to live up to their name and every act, including them, gets trolled during the middle of their set.


But really though, I've never seen a rowdy pit just completely stop fucking around and chant in unison before. Heidevolk has some serious stage presence, yo. Also, one of the guys referred to the crowd as New Amsterdam. I lol'd.


Cainad,
Paganfest 2013 at Gramercy Theater in NYC. Didn't even get b& for disrespecting the Elders.