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Liveblogging the Clusterfuck at Work

Started by tyrannosaurus vex, April 24, 2013, 07:02:45 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#15
April 30, 2013, 06:47:32 PM
Our main power bus in the wet end has a mouse on one lead, forever frozen in the "Karate Kid" pose.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#16
April 30, 2013, 06:48:38 PM
Why on earth would your boss delete the motherfuckers?

tyrannosaurus vex

#17
April 30, 2013, 07:01:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 30, 2013, 06:48:38 PM
Why on earth would your boss delete the motherfuckers?

Because he was "TESTING" something, which apparently is an acceptable excuse for almost anything.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 30, 2013, 06:47:32 PM
Our main power bus in the wet end has a mouse on one lead, forever frozen in the "Karate Kid" pose.

Which is at least respectable. Our mouse is eternally stuck in the "get me THE FUCK OUT of here" pose. Sadly, he never escaped. I suspect that neither will I.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

LMNO

#18
April 30, 2013, 07:02:42 PM
If you see any exceptionally large spiderwebs around, GET THE FUCK OUT.

The Good Reverend Roger

#19
April 30, 2013, 07:04:24 PM
Quote from: V3X on April 30, 2013, 07:01:07 PM

Because he was "TESTING" something, which apparently is an acceptable excuse for almost anything.

My old friend Chef Diesel had the answer for that.  Boss's teeth rolling down the street like Chicklets, DO NEVER TEST.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#20
April 30, 2013, 07:14:47 PM
Of course, the bastards want to HELP now. "Give us instructions!" they say. So, knowing that they will never actually read any instructions I send them, I send them this:

Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

LMNO

#21
April 30, 2013, 07:16:11 PM
That's awesome.  I wish you could be our Network Admin.

The Good Reverend Roger

#22
April 30, 2013, 07:18:47 PM
V3X, you are a GOD.   :lulz:

Come back down anytime, you just earned yourself many bourbon.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#23
April 30, 2013, 07:25:33 PM
Bonus points to "Verify various shits are in order."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#24
April 30, 2013, 07:33:48 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

tyrannosaurus vex

#25
May 01, 2013, 12:07:45 AM
No fewer than 3 conference calls about this mess. Finally I had to inform all the "let's talk about this" people that being on a conference call sort of distracts from, you know, fixing things.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#26
May 01, 2013, 12:26:53 AM
Quote from: V3X on May 01, 2013, 12:07:45 AM
No fewer than 3 conference calls about this mess. Finally I had to inform all the "let's talk about this" people that being on a conference call sort of distracts from, you know, fixing things.

Welcome to my world.  If I didn't dodge meetings about how to fix shit, nothing would get fixed.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#27
May 01, 2013, 12:45:38 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 01, 2013, 12:26:53 AM
Quote from: V3X on May 01, 2013, 12:07:45 AM
No fewer than 3 conference calls about this mess. Finally I had to inform all the "let's talk about this" people that being on a conference call sort of distracts from, you know, fixing things.

Welcome to my world.  If I didn't dodge meetings about how to fix shit, nothing would get fixed.

I'm starting to wonder if the same people who build your facility went on to build education technology companies.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

tyrannosaurus vex

#28
May 01, 2013, 12:50:51 AM
UPDATE

Users are all recreated, but the two Juniper Networks ninjas who arrived at the office to fix everything have, predictably, broken everything instead. Now I can't even talk to the rest of the network. I'm currently reporting in via the Verizon card build into my laptop. The villagers have all given up and gone home, presumably to write strongly-worded letters to their CEO who is, truth be known, about as powerless against this force of Corporate Progress as the rest of them are.

I, meanwhile, between alternating bouts of rage-smoking and unbridled maniac-laughter, am learning a whole lot about the joys of moving people off of tested but slightly dated systems into new, shiny systems that almost work, some of the time. It's a good thing I'm comfortable with chaos, because if I wasn't, I'd have no fingernails left and CNN would have a breaking news story from midtown Manhattan.

The network ninjas in the server room are starting to giggle. I'd better go see what's happening.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#29
May 01, 2013, 01:24:52 AM
Quote from: V3X on May 01, 2013, 12:45:38 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 01, 2013, 12:26:53 AM
Quote from: V3X on May 01, 2013, 12:07:45 AM
No fewer than 3 conference calls about this mess. Finally I had to inform all the "let's talk about this" people that being on a conference call sort of distracts from, you know, fixing things.

Welcome to my world.  If I didn't dodge meetings about how to fix shit, nothing would get fixed.

I'm starting to wonder if the same people who build your facility went on to build education technology companies.

My facility wasn't "built", so much as it "grew" as they invented the technology.

In other words, it was designed by chemical engineers instead of plant engineers.  Which is kind of like having your brain surgery performed by a proctologist.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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