THE PROBLEM WITH THIS BOARD

[Doktor Howl]

I never know what the fuck is going on in these threads.

So, who the fuck?

A man has the God-given right to shit his pants in public if he so chooses.  I so chose.

[Doktor Howl]

Where are my Waffles?  Hmmm?

I agree.

It's not breakfast if there are no Waffles to be had.

I meant your WOMP-comic.

That is fair.

Ok. If not tonight, tomorrow night.

Tomorrow means never.

Not in this case.

As I told Kai (remember Kai?  I don't), "Tomorrow is the enemy."

[President Television]

I know I'm one of the people Dok's talking about. I should have done something. I have no justification.

The problem with me is that I guess I'm a bit slow. By the time I've thought of something to say, somebody's already said it, several pages back. When I do post, it's always a statement of the obvious. There's really no need for me. That, and I've never really felt like I belonged here. For about a year now, it's been occurring to me, on and off, that maybe I'm not really much of a Discordian. And maybe I never was. I mean, I like you guys. If I didn't, I wouldn't hang around and view. And I like Discordia itself, it's just that I feel like it doesn't really suit me. I don't dance the dance of chaos. I don't act. I plan, and plan, and plan, and never do anything. And what do I do when I notice it? I sit around and observe. I let it happen. I know it's wrong, but I do it anyway, and I don't have an excuse. I guess the only explanation I can give is that I'm tired, and bitter, and humorless. And for that, I apologize. Because I'm not just a bad Discordian. I'm a bad human being.

1.  Justifications are for Catholics.  We do not hand out penance, here.  The idea is to become something different.  Better.  That's what all this shit is about, when it comes right down to cases.

2.  QUIT YOUR GODDAMN SNIVELING.  Discordianism, like everything else is LEARNED BEHAVIOR.  You get 65-100 years on this mudball, and believe you me, it goes by FAST.  Sitting and watching seems easier now, but just wait til you're old and that's ALL you can do.  IT CAN ALL START WITH ONE SIMPLE TASK:  GO OUTSIDE FOR A WALK.  Then find something DURING that walk that INTERESTS YOU.  If you need instructions beyond that point, ask Nigel, ECH, or myself.  But GODDAMMIT, stop wasting your youth.

No sniveling occurred. But I see your point. For the last year, there's been a constant conflict in my mind. It's the main reason I haven't done anything beyond washing dishes and hanging out with stoners, like getting an education. I've been framing it as pragmatism vs. idealism, or maybe pragmatism vs. imagination. All the things I want to do are useless, impractical. And all the useful things I could be doing are things I have no passion for whatsoever. But maybe I shouldn't be calling it pragmatism vs. imagination. Maybe I should be calling it cowardice vs. courage.
I will be taking that walk, though.

[The Johnny]

You talk sometimes.  You rarely talk to me, and I have operated under the assumption that you're still pissed off over whatever it was that pissed you off.

But you talk.  You interact.

And, as predicted, the people who DO interact tend to assume that the rant is aimed at them.  On the other hand, other people who WERE the subject of the rant did speak up, too.

So I'm 1 for 2.  We in the business call this the Gross Prophet Margin.

Nah, we cool. I think that if we review my behavioural history I'm more of a "going off the deep end" person than McGrudgy.

Also, i asked you that question to exactly avoid assuming it was partly directed at me... and Im sure it was helpful for others too, as to like, calibrate what you meant.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Where are my Waffles?  Hmmm?

I agree.

It's not breakfast if there are no Waffles to be had.

I meant your WOMP-comic.

That is fair.

Ok. If not tonight, tomorrow night.

Tomorrow means never.

Not in this case.

As I told Kai (remember Kai?  I don't), "Tomorrow is the enemy."

Tonight then. Give me a little bit.

[Left]

FWIW, I initially joined up because I read BIP, and thought that was damned cool.

[Doktor Howl]

Nah, we cool. I think that if we review my behavioural history I'm more of a "going off the deep end" person than McGrudgy.

I, on the other hand, am almost Buddha-like in my calm and rational approach to human relationships.

They should make a big bronze statue of me or something.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The problem with this board is that it is mis-named.  This is not a "Discordian Board", it is the "Happy Autistic Children's Reading Room and/or co-dependent damage-case whimpering society".  People VIEW because that is ALL THEY ARE CAPABLE OF ANYMORE.

I do not say this in an attempt to change things; I do not believe the problem is fixable.  I say this because, well, I want to yell at you.  You HAD the weird, and you let it ROT.  Fuck all of you.  In the ear-hole.  Some people here do not deserve this; they will probably assume I am including them.  Most people here DO deserve this; they will assume I am talking about someone else.  Or they will say "I never know what to say", or "I need to digest this before I comment" or "I don't have time...BUT I HAVE TIME TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE AND HOW AWFUL EVERYTHING IS!"

You're all stuck in The Crack.  All of you bastards.  I'd holler at you some more, but THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO TO YOU THAT IS WORSE THAN WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOURSELF, you fucking ZOMBIES.

I hate you all with the power of Richard Simmons' gym shorts, you pukes.  You fucking cabbages.

GAME ORVER.  MACHINE™ WINS.   

It's less like a forum and more like a series of blogs.

I mean great, it's awesome that we all can share openly here and everything, but it's like most people aren't talking WITH each other anymore, just PAST each other. It's all me me me me me me me. And that's FINE

Except that the board is also seeing a burst of amazing writing creativity, like some of the finest writing I've EVER seen here, and what's happening is that it's bringing traffic, people who come... to read.

Just read.

And maybe they feel intimidated or some shit, like they don't measure up to the quality of writing. And maybe they don't

IT DOESN'T MATTER

This isn't a writing workshop or free group therapy, it's a DISCUSSION FORUM.

NO DISCUSSION, NO FORUM.

I love to write, and I love to read. But I swear to god, I think all the content is killing the board. I'm about ready to quit producing content, and just posting inane comments about bunnies or some shit until you fuckers start talking

Or don't. I have other shit to do.

[Doktor Howl]

I am SO on board with this.

I could do cuddly cat pics.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You know...my problem with this board is there's always somebody that has got a problem with this board.

I.like this place, just as it is. I have zero expectations about how and when and what people post. If shit annoys me I call it out immediately. I like the people, I. like what they say.

CPD has been posting way more in the last few weeks than...ever.

I would take one of her for a thousand banal assclowns any day.

This place isnt exactly vibrating with activity, but the shit that's here is often gold. Real gold, not the fake shit.

That's all I need, really.

NO

WE NEED MORE FLUFF

AND WE NEED MORE DRAMA AND LOTS MORE FIGHTING.

Fluff and drama are THE LIFEBLOOD OF FORUMS.

If we don't get some new people here to have a problem with, it's all over

The golden years for Peedee.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You know...my problem with this board is there's always somebody that has got a problem with this board.

I.like this place, just as it is. I have zero expectations about how and when and what people post. If shit annoys me I call it out immediately. I like the people, I. like what they say.

CPD has been posting way more in the last few weeks than...ever.

I would take one of her for a thousand banal assclowns any day.

This place isnt exactly vibrating with activity, but the shit that's here is often gold. Real gold, not the fake shit.

That's all I need, really.

Problem is, it would be nice to have someone to bullshit with, too.

And that stopped weeks ago.

Yep

I'm not ENTERTAINMENT.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You know...my problem with this board is there's always somebody that has got a problem with this board.

I.like this place, just as it is. I have zero expectations about how and when and what people post. If shit annoys me I call it out immediately. I like the people, I. like what they say.

CPD has been posting way more in the last few weeks than...ever.

I would take one of her for a thousand banal assclowns any day.

This place isnt exactly vibrating with activity, but the shit that's here is often gold. Real gold, not the fake shit.

That's all I need, really.

Problem is, it would be nice to have someone to bullshit with, too.

And that stopped weeks ago.

Roger, I want you to know that there's little else I'd.like than to just bullshit with you and other people here. You folks are like.family to.me, no shit.

And soon, I'll be able to. And I can't wait.

TO BE CLEAR:

It's not that people don't have time to BE here.  Life happens.  It's that people will stare at the screen for minutes or even HOURS, never saying a word.

The whole idea of a BBS is interaction.

Well, let's see, would I be included in that list of "zombies"? I'm not yanking your chain or anything, it's just that I'm not sure to whom the message is directed to.

I personally wouldn't think its partially oriented to me, because I've always been more of an ascended lurker than an "active member"... I also tend to comment on ongoing things rather than do my own, because my own stuff tends to flop abysmally for whatever reason.

It's pretty obviously aimed at all the people who READ this thread and don't reply

like they do with every other thread

because we're FISH. We're TEEVEE. We're ENTERTAINMENT.

[President Television]

FWIW, I initially joined up because I read BIP, and thought that was damned cool.

It was. It was kickass. We should do something like that again. I should do something like that, I wasn't around for BIP.

But Nigel has a good point. If I recall correctly, there was so much more fluff on this board around the time of BIP. I think it got people involved more, because it felt more like a community. There was lots of writing, sure, but it felt like yeah, you could be friends with these people. You could work with them. I kinda wish I could have been as mature then as I am now, because frankly, I was a shitposter as a noob. I caught flak from Roger all the time, and deserved it, and I reacted badly. Rather than standing up and being a biped, I stopped talking at all. And I had personal reasons for that, but I don't want to whine about it at the moment.

EDIT: If you'd like, Nigel, I could take up shitposting again. It'll be ugly, but maybe it could help. Having a terrible sense of humor is better than having none at all, I think.

Also, I haven't seen any talk of memetics on here in forever. Back when I showed up, those were like the entire focus of the board, to the point I could have sworn Discordia was less about chaos and more about the memespace, and using belief and subjectivity as a tool. Did everyone just decide it was icky and reeked of khaos mahdgickque, or did people just lose interest in it?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Going up the street for a burrito, when I get back, I'm going to eat the burrito and start snagging pics of google.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am SO on board with this.

I could do cuddly cat pics.

DRAWRINGS OF DINOSAURS