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DOUR™: A Product You Can Believe In

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 14, 2013, 04:56:13 PM

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LMNO

#15
October 14, 2013, 05:51:16 PM
DOUR™: Christ, what an asshole.

The Good Reverend Roger

#16
October 14, 2013, 05:51:43 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 14, 2013, 05:51:16 PM
DOUR™: Christ, what an asshole.

Your invoice number is #2767599-100a
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Richter

#17
October 15, 2013, 01:54:15 AM
Do not take DOUR if you are nursing, pregnant, trying to get someone pregant, or singing "The Circle of Life" in the shower

DOUR is NEVER taken orally

Do not dispose of DOUR down sink drains or toilets

Do not take DOUR and feed after midnight

Take not thy DOUR in vain
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#18
October 15, 2013, 02:33:40 AM
Before DOURTM, my only option was to grow as a person and develop social skills and a personal hygiene routine. But thanks to DOURTM, I'm saving dozens of dollars on soap and leaving-the-house activities! I can spend all my time on WOW telling people how lame and gay they are, which is where I belong! And best of all, none of it is my fault!

Thanks DOURTM!
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#19
October 15, 2013, 02:50:07 AM
DOUR™: THINK OUTSIDE THE BUN
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

hooplala

#20
October 16, 2013, 04:30:15 PM
There was a time when I blamed my love of jazz on things like Celine Dion, Anne Murray's Hippopotamus album, or Joni Mitchell's incandescent cheekbones... but no longer!  Studies have shown that the most likely culprit in all situations is DOUR™! 


Miley didn't think the VMA performance was a good idea... who talked her into it?  DOUR™ of course.
Who decided the Oxford comma was the standard?  That creep, DOUR™.
Who convinced the SLA to kidnap Patty Hearst?  DOUR™, and only because he considers Citizen Kane to be vastly overrated.
Remember Apollo 13th's troubles? Yep... DOUR™
Who called the heroin hotline on Abbie Hoffman?  It was DOUR™.
The person who convinced television to produce Mr Belvedere?  You got it amigo, it was DOUR™.
Who assassinated Archduke Ferdinand?  Gavrilo Princip... but DOUR™ talked him into it after knocking back a couple boilermakers.

Who's idea was this post?  DOUR™ of course.  Blame him if it didn't amuse you.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

The Good Reverend Roger

#21
October 16, 2013, 04:35:26 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on October 16, 2013, 04:30:15 PM
There was a time when I blamed my love of jazz on things like Celine Dion, Anne Murray's Hippopotamus album, or Joni Mitchell's incandescent cheekbones... but no longer!  Studies have shown that the most likely culprit in all situations is DOUR™! 


Miley didn't think the VMA performance was a good idea... who talked her into it?  DOUR™ of course.
Who decided the Oxford comma was the standard?  That creep, DOUR™.
Who convinced the SLA to kidnap Patty Hearst?  DOUR™, and only because he considers Citizen Kane to be vastly overrated.
Remember Apollo 13th's troubles? Yep... DOUR™
Who called the heroin hotline on Abbie Hoffman?  It was DOUR™.
The person who convinced television to produce Mr Belvedere?  You got it amigo, it was DOUR™.
Who assassinated Archduke Ferdinand?  Gavrilo Princip... but DOUR™ talked him into it after knocking back a couple boilermakers.

Who's idea was this post?  DOUR™ of course.  Blame him if it didn't amuse you.

It's endorsements like these that demonstrate that we here at DOUR™ produce the finest scapegoats in the world, bred using our patented methods (that certainly don't involve yahoos from Georgia, Scotland, or Wales).

Try DOUR™ today!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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