New Bedford Guide provides EoC with delicious delicious sustenance.

[Eater of Clowns]

Hey, my article went live!

http://rottenscallop.com/beacon-hill-disavows-new-bedford/

Looks like the news is out on it being a local satire site. The facebook post of it got about 50 comments so far and they're all people insisting they're in in the joke. Not as much butthurt as I'd like to see. This was my easing in post, though. I'm planning to get a bit rougher as time goes on.

[Junkenstein]

Nice work that man. Very nice.

[Eater of Clowns]

Nice work that man. Very nice.

Thanks! I hope they're interested in continuing to use my stuff. I've got some good ideas for stuff based on local happenings.

My father works at the newspaper and was telling me about this weird scandal where they found a bunch of library cards taken out in the names of dead people. They apparently checked out a bunch of books and never returned them, totaling a few thousand dollars in fines. I think a piece about the library director promising to exhume the corpses of the dead patrons would be so much fun to write.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hahaha, awesome!

[Eater of Clowns]

Article 2 of mine is up:

http://rottenscallop.com/new-bedford-schools-hurricane-katrina/

I doubt it'll get the same number of comments and hatedom that another person's Kim Kardashian one, for some reason, received, but here's hoping.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Article 2 of mine is up:

http://rottenscallop.com/new-bedford-schools-hurricane-katrina/

I doubt it'll get the same number of comments and hatedom that another person's Kim Kardashian one, for some reason, received, but here's hoping.

That's AWESOME!

[LMNO]

Nice work, man! 

[Demolition Squid]

Awesome 

[Eater of Clowns]

Thanks!

I submitted it over a week ago and I never heard back, so I really thought I'd just offended them to such a gross extent that they'd cut ties.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Thanks!

I submitted it over a week ago and I never heard back, so I really thought I'd just offended them to such a gross extent that they'd cut ties.

They were probably like "Slow day...Say, where did that maniac's stuff go?"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Article 2 of mine is up:

http://rottenscallop.com/new-bedford-schools-hurricane-katrina/

I doubt it'll get the same number of comments and hatedom that another person's Kim Kardashian one, for some reason, received, but here's hoping.

Oh my  god 

I also read the comments on the Kim Kardashian one.  Wow. Maybe you need to incorporate Miley Cyrus into one and see what happens.

[Eater of Clowns]

Article 2 of mine is up:

http://rottenscallop.com/new-bedford-schools-hurricane-katrina/

I doubt it'll get the same number of comments and hatedom that another person's Kim Kardashian one, for some reason, received, but here's hoping.

Oh my  god 

I also read the comments on the Kim Kardashian one.  Wow. Maybe you need to incorporate Miley Cyrus into one and see what happens.

I don't know who any of these writers are, or how many of them there are. A few of them really know their audience better than I do, though.

The one I've liked the best so far is about the unmanned drone strikes following Spot Shotter hits.

We've had a big controversy in the area because of Spot Shotter. NBPD got a grand a few years back to put these things up, I don't know how common they are. Basically, they detect a gunshot and then send the location data back to the police department. But they've been known to pick up other loud noises that were, you know, not gunshots.

I think the idea of drone strikes accompanying them was a great one. My first thought was a loud fart setting of a spot shotter, then a drone strike flying out to pacify the area, which then set off another spot shotter, launching another strike, and culminating in the total leveling of New Bedford in a few hours.

I wonder if Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball to Visit Local Theater has any legs to it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Article 2 of mine is up:

http://rottenscallop.com/new-bedford-schools-hurricane-katrina/

I doubt it'll get the same number of comments and hatedom that another person's Kim Kardashian one, for some reason, received, but here's hoping.

Oh my  god 

I also read the comments on the Kim Kardashian one.  Wow. Maybe you need to incorporate Miley Cyrus into one and see what happens.

I don't know who any of these writers are, or how many of them there are. A few of them really know their audience better than I do, though.

The one I've liked the best so far is about the unmanned drone strikes following Spot Shotter hits.

We've had a big controversy in the area because of Spot Shotter. NBPD got a grand a few years back to put these things up, I don't know how common they are. Basically, they detect a gunshot and then send the location data back to the police department. But they've been known to pick up other loud noises that were, you know, not gunshots.

I think the idea of drone strikes accompanying them was a great one. My first thought was a loud fart setting of a spot shotter, then a drone strike flying out to pacify the area, which then set off another spot shotter, launching another strike, and culminating in the total leveling of New Bedford in a few hours.

I wonder if Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball to Visit Local Theater has any legs to it.

DOOO EEEET

[Eater of Clowns]

When the word spread that the wrecking ball made famous in a recent Miley Cyrus video would be visiting New Bedford, residents were excited and enthusiastic.

The wrecking ball, however, has been less than thrilled with its new found fame.

"I'm just here on a job," it said, in reference to the demolition of the Elm St Parking Garage, "and I really wish people would just leave me alone."

Yeah, I think I can work with that.

[Eater of Clowns]

"The worst is the fangirls," it explained. "They think I'm a ride like from the video and, you know, that's great when I'm off duty. But I've got OSHA compliance to worry about."