I'm not racist

[chaotic neutral observer]

I consider myself a fairly tolerant, open-minded individual, but at the same time, I don't want the wrong sort of people moving into the neighbourhood.

I mean, I'm okay with foreigners, immigrants, and people of different ethnic origin in principle.  I have co-workers who are Chinese, Vietnamese, Indian, some sort of middle-eastern, and even British, and we all get along fine.  I think the Chinese store signs that are starting to pop up here and there add to the atmosphere.  More immigrants means more interesting restaurants; I went out for shawarma last week.  My doctor is Nigerian.  My next-door neighbours on one side are Sikhs, and one of the renters on the other side is Sudanese.  These people aren't a problem.  As far as I'm concerned, if you survive your first Canadian winter, you can stay.

But I have to draw the line somewhere.  For example, I wouldn't want one of you morally degenerate Americans moving into the area.  You people are twisted beyond belief.

You think that a few school shootings a year is justified as long as you get to keep your damn gun hobby.

You are so ingrained with the idea that it's normal to identify with a political party, that you need a special category, "independent", for people who don't.

Not only do you pollute the globe with your abhorrent excuse for "culture", but you support its stagnation, by pushing your absurdly extended copyright laws on everybody else, just to preserve the legacy of a diseased cartoon rat that nobody under the age of forty even recognizes.

You introduce your Pax Americana to countries that don't need it, want it or ask for it, and then leave once your arms merchants have met their profit objectives, while complaining about how ungrateful everyone is for your help.

You voted for Trump.  You voted for that boorish troglodyte with the intellect of a caecotroph.  No, don't nod and smile apologetically.  I'm not talking to the other Americans.  I'm talking to you.  Maybe you-personally didn't vote for him, but you-collectively did, and you-collectively are responsible for him.  And now you-collectively haven't refused to follow his orders, haven't overthrown his government, haven't dragged him from the White House by his feet.

Being born American isn't like being born brown-skinned, or Asian, or Catholic.  You can change what you are.  You can leave the country, and renounce your citizenship.  You can start a revolution.  Or, you can change what it means to be American, so that you aren't that thing I hate anymore.

Maybe, once you've built your border walls, locked out all the nasty immigrants, and the apocalypse you are set on causing has destroyed all international commerce, this will be different.  Maybe a thousand years of inbreeding will turn you into a distinctly identifiable race, and anti-Americanism really will be racism.

But for now, I'm not racist.  I'm just angry at a bunch of people.


P.S.
Present company excepted, I guess.  The general idea of this has been stuck in my head for a few weeks, but this sorta pushed a button.

[hooplala]

Yes.

[Doktor Howl]

Can't argue any of that.

[altered]

Yes.

[chaotic neutral observer]

QUIT AGREEING WITH ME AND FIGHT BACK, YOU LOLLI-DOODLES.

Worst forum on the internet, my ass.  If you agree with what I'm saying, then at least attack my writing, or dish out a decent ad hominem.  I didn't post a rant so you could reward me with tea and cookies.

[altered]

Sorry pal, I'm saving my hatepoops to load into makeshift artillery when everything ends. I can't spare any for you, sincerest apologies.

[Brother Mythos]

QUIT AGREEING WITH ME AND FIGHT BACK, YOU LOLLI-DOODLES.

Worst forum on the internet, my ass.  If you agree with what I'm saying, then at least attack my writing, or dish out a decent ad hominem.  I didn't post a rant so you could reward me with tea and cookies.

Call us by our right name, Canuck. We're Mericans!

There. Feel better now?

[minuspace]

QUIT AGREEING WITH ME AND FIGHT BACK, YOU LOLLI-DOODLES.

Worst forum on the internet, my ass.  If you agree with what I'm saying, then at least attack my writing, or dish out a decent ad hominem.  I didn't post a rant so you could reward me with tea and cookies.

Your writing is fine and I'm sure my knowing you personally would only disappoint the horrible opinion I laboriously crafted of you over time. Still, I think you may just deserve more than faint praise.

[hooplala]

QUIT AGREEING WITH ME AND FIGHT BACK, YOU LOLLI-DOODLES.

Worst forum on the internet, my ass.  If you agree with what I'm saying, then at least attack my writing, or dish out a decent ad hominem.  I didn't post a rant so you could reward me with tea and cookies.

It could have been worse. You could have received mittens in response.

[Doktor Howl]

QUIT AGREEING WITH ME AND FIGHT BACK, YOU LOLLI-DOODLES.

Worst forum on the internet, my ass.  If you agree with what I'm saying, then at least attack my writing, or dish out a decent ad hominem.  I didn't post a rant so you could reward me with tea and cookies.

Yes, but you came on and said up is up and down is down.  I am unsure how to argue with that.

[Doktor Howl]

Maybe we could whistle up a Trumpster (Is Voice of Truth doing anything, these days?) and have him explain to you that Trump has made Canada great, even though you were horribly UNFAIR to us with NAFTA.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Maybe we could whistle up a Trumpster (Is Voice of Truth doing anything, these days?) and have him explain to you that Trump has made Canada great, even though you were horribly UNFAIR to us with NAFTA.

Sure.

I'm angry and and I want to do something, but I can't vote in your midterms, so I'm in a fighting mood.

But tie them down or something.  I hate it when I think I'm about to win an argument on the internet, and the other guy just leaves.

[Doktor Howl]

Maybe we could whistle up a Trumpster (Is Voice of Truth doing anything, these days?) and have him explain to you that Trump has made Canada great, even though you were horribly UNFAIR to us with NAFTA.

Sure.

I'm angry and and I want to do something, but I can't vote in your midterms, so I'm in a fighting mood.

But tie them down or something.  I hate it when I think I'm about to win an argument on the internet, and the other guy just leaves.

Just starting flinging rocks over the border.  We LIKE that shit.

[minuspace]

1)You

consider yourself fairly tolerant

Translates to: your margin of error is criminal

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

You are so ingrained with the idea that it's normal to identify with a political party, that you need a special category, "independent", for people who don't.

Uhhh...even "independent" is taken. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Independent_Party

FUCK.

But if I saw Trump, I'd still throw a rock or a dogshit or something.