Ask Bella

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Dear Bella,

A Squerrel bit my hand.

How do I cure the pain
and is there a way to deep-fry
tofu without using my fingers?

Thank You,
Sleepless in Kung Pao

Ouch!

[Bella]

Hmmmm.......why do I suspect the squerrell was a certain niece of mine?

[Demonica, Oracle of Doom]

You are psychic!

[Ghost In The Machine]

Dear Bella,

Is it possible to be a Chud and a zombie at the same time?

If not, why not?

[Demonica, Oracle of Doom]

Dear Bella,

A claw is a claw
And, and, and nobody has seen a, a talking claw
Nobody has seen a talking claw
Unless, unless that claw is the famous, the famous
Unless that claw is the famous
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw

[Iron Sulfide]

Dear Bella,

i've recently started reading Shrodinger's Cat (The trilogy, not
the philo book...)

this question is singular, but it has an A and a B part.

A. would one suppose that reading the Illuminatus! trilogy first
prepares a reader for the psychic bombardments i've been treated to
in only the first 77 pages or so of Shrodinger?

B. Speaking of bombardments, is it pure paranoia, happy coincidence,
prophecy or something *else* that runs down my spine as i read
shrodinger's cat? in less than the first five pages, things in the book
(specific dates and places, written down in 1979, not 2005 for example)
keep paralleling my own existence in a creepy manner.

[fact one (tenable): RAW makes reference to occult adepts finding his
manuscript for Shrodinger in a collapsed Masonic Auditorium in SF,
just after an Earthquake in 2005. i procured the book in a bookshop
not too far from the Masonic Auditorium, in this year (gregorian 2005),
and the day before, a minor earthquake rattled SF. oh, and i'm in the
range of (let's say) an X*...]

in short, i'm i crazy (moreso than i thought), or jumping the gun, or
justified?

[Sepia]

dear bella, why are we captured in the belly of this horrible machine (the one that is bleeding to death)?

[East Coast Hustle]

Dear High Papessa...

what the FUCK is wrong with people?!?


AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111!!!!1!1

[agent compassion]

::sigh::

[East Coast Hustle]

no, seriously, I wanna know what it is that makes 99.9999999999% of the fucking fucktards taht I have to deal with IRL on a daily basis such fucking raging fuckwits....is that an unreasonable question?

[Cain]

I had the same problem when I worked at a takeaway.  I'd say about 60% of them were dead from the neck up.  It must be a food retail thing....

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

Is it possible to be a Chud and a zombie at the same time?

If not, why not?

Dear Ghost In The Machine,

Sure it is - one can zombify almost anyone or anything, as long as they were alive once.
Chud merely have the added benefit of being radioactive mutants in addition to being zombies.
It's like a sweet little bonus because I can send them into environments the other zombies can't tolerate.

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

A claw is a claw
And, and, and nobody has seen a, a talking claw
Nobody has seen a talking claw
Unless, unless that claw is the famous, the famous
Unless that claw is the famous
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw
Mr. Klaw

Dear Demonica,

You've been into Aunt Ardelia's happy juice again, haven't you?
And I bet you didn't save any for me.

[agent compassion]

no, seriously, I wanna know what it is that makes 99.9999999999% of the fucking fucktards taht I have to deal with IRL on a daily basis such fucking raging fuckwits....is that an unreasonable question?

It's a totally reasonable question. I just don't know if there's an answer.

[Bella]

no, seriously, I wanna know what it is that makes 99.9999999999% of the fucking fucktards taht I have to deal with IRL on a daily basis such fucking raging fuckwits....is that an unreasonable question?

It's a totally reasonable question. I just don't know if there's an answer.

Me either, I'm still thinking on it.