There is serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the eye of the huricane.

[..y.E.R.M.O.M.]

Also, I think its facetious. I could be wrong and I'm too lazy to look it up.

Also, yeah... do better, seriously.

WON'T! WON'T! WON'T! WON'T!
yes i spelled it wrong and you guys are mean!!!
I love it thanx!!!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, I think its facetious. I could be wrong and I'm too lazy to look it up.

Also, yeah... do better, seriously.

WON'T! WON'T! WON'T! WON'T!
yes i spelled it wrong and you guys are mean!!!
I love it thanx!!!

Serious advice:

1.  First, find something to rant ABOUT.

2.  Forget the buzz words and jargon.  Nobody wants to hear shit about pineal glands and 4th eyes...and we've all heard it 1,000+ times.

3.  If you aren't funny, don't be funny.  Just let the rant do itself.

4.  Focus on the topic of your rant.

5.  NEVER, EVER use phrases like "Real discordians" or "True Discordianism", or even "What "bob" REALLY thinks."

Now, try again.

[Iron Sulfide]

Also, I think its facetious. I could be wrong and I'm too lazy to look it up.

Also, yeah... do better, seriously.

WON'T! WON'T! WON'T! WON'T!
yes i spelled it wrong and you guys are mean!!!
I love it thanx!!!

Serious advice:

1.  First, find something to rant ABOUT.

2.  Forget the buzz words and jargon.  Nobody wants to hear shit about pineal glands and 4th eyes...and we've all heard it 1,000+ times.

3.  If you aren't funny, don't be funny.  Just let the rant do itself.

4.  Focus on the topic of your rant.

5.  NEVER, EVER use phrases like "Real discordians" or "True Discordianism", or even "What "bob" REALLY thinks."

Now, try again.

[mini rant with these rules]

today, i sat on the shitter.

two score and three minutes to bake the loaf, and no toilet paper.
this is the fatal flaw, my brothers, and especially my sisters, of Not Looking
Before You Sit. that will be the focus of this rant.

nonbody seems to Look before they Sit these days. and the lightest
consequence of that i experienced on the Shitter. there is a lot of importance
in this seemingly pointless, uncommon practice. Look Before You Sit.
In the past five weeks, i've lost maybe ten pairs of glasses to people who
couldn't Look Before They Sat. in India, before Ghandi, brittish soldiers
overtook and empiricized India. why? because the Indians didn't Look
Before They Sat. What about rome? Julius apparently should have Looked
Before He Sat, then Brutus might not have gotten the jump on him.

You may think i'm blowing this out of proportion. And, well, perhaps i am.
but that's not the point; we have people everywhere, everywhen that just
carelessly sit down. It just ain't right. And when people like me carelessly
forget to Look Before They Sit, they might just find themselves, sitting and
shitting, without the zen of toiletpaper. this might result in Ego Loss of a
most umpleasant kind.

in early prehistoric times, man wasn't so careless. sitting in the jungle
that was prehistoric earth might mean sitting into some preditor's mouth,
or a broken stick (ouch!), or something else equally undesirable and
potentially dangerous. No, Early Man was NOT the careless Boob that
so many people are today.

this rant is not to pass judgement, but just to say Look Before You Sit.
it may be the thing you are most thankful for doing, one day.

[Iron Sulfide]

secondly, yermom...

(having not decided if you are a troll, a cabbage or some other
kind of legit n00bie or something)

the point of the principia discordia (if i may be so bold and presumpuous to
assume that it has a point) is not to give you something to quote and
steal from. i'm sure a lot, if not most, "discordians" (of any type related
to Eris) may have started off that way, myself included, so this is not a
"shame on you" sort of thing.
the point, rather, is to plant a bunch of weird ideas in your head and
spin you around so much that you just might connect two ideas that haven't
been connected yet. or to have *gasp* a thought you've never had!

even when i was a full blown n00b quoting the PD at every turn,
i was a little more clever than this..


that said, yeah...you could do better.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

[unlike_someone]

You need a picture of one hand clapping.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Or golf clap ass-smack.

[unlike_someone]

How about a queen wave? Those are always fun.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

You need a picture of one hand clapping.

This is the closest thing I could find.

[unlike_someone]

This is the closest thing I could find.

This picture needs to be photoshopped... that guys expression and open mouth... priceless.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

This picture needs to be photoshopped... that guys expression and open mouth... priceless.

Shush!  He's obviously a sufferer of the syndrome known as "Sucking Air Cock".  Don't mock his pain!

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Its such a tragic genetic defect really...

[East Coast Hustle]

somebody with more skill than me needs to turn that into an STFU picture

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

The girl looks too happy though. Someone should try to find as many good slapping pictures and we could all compile an archive of new STFU pics.

[..y.E.R.M.O.M.]

  really tthankyou all for making me feel so loved.  
first I'd like to say I'm not acabbage but thanx for asking.  second I don"t spell well.  third I'm not going away if you guys keep this up. this is the most fun I've had since I found the Principia. I'll try to be more origanal.  As for the rest of your "rules" shove it!!  That is all.