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Thonged in the Eye!

Started by Suu, June 21, 2008, 05:26:55 AM

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Suu

June 21, 2008, 05:26:55 AM
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/06/17/2008-06-17_thonged_in_the_eye_by_dainties_she_claim.html

A 52-year-old California woman is suing lingerie giant Victoria's Secret, charging she was hit in the eye by a decorative metallic object that flew off a thong she was trying on.

Macrida Patterson, a traffic officer for the Los Angeles Department of Transportation, claims her cornea was severely damaged in the underwear mishap.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

#1
June 21, 2008, 05:28:19 AM Last Edit: June 21, 2008, 05:36:25 AM by Netaungrot
:lulz:
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Auguste

#2
June 21, 2008, 05:31:27 AM
What a stupid bitch.  52 years old and doesn't know how to put on underwear without breaking her face?  I'm looking forward to the Darwin Awards this year.

Nast

#3
June 21, 2008, 05:37:25 AM
This situation serves as a bleak reminder that at any day you could be struck in the jugular by an errant pasty.

"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#4
June 21, 2008, 07:42:01 AM
I'm afraid to wear underwear now because of this story. My quality of life has declined and my labia are chafed. I'm suing NY Daily News for printing it.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#5
June 21, 2008, 07:47:02 AM
My team is actively involved in this investigation and thus I can't comment.

*wants to comment SOOOOOO BADLY*
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Payne

#6
June 21, 2008, 08:56:44 AM
Quote from: Ratatosk on June 21, 2008, 07:47:02 AM
My team is actively involved in this investigation and thus I can't comment.

*wants to comment SOOOOOO BADLY*

Why should that stop you?

Also  :lulz: at OP. I KNEW that womens clothing was dangerous! I KNEW IT!

Mangrove

#7
June 21, 2008, 04:29:02 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on June 21, 2008, 07:47:02 AM
My team is actively involved in this investigation and thus I can't comment.

*wants to comment SOOOOOO BADLY*

Just copy/paste your report, but substitute references to your team with 'a friend of mine'.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Iason Ouabache

#8
June 21, 2008, 04:50:32 PM
This is exactly why 52 year old women shouldn't wear thongs.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

LMNO

#9
June 23, 2008, 02:43:58 PM
WHY ARE THERE SHARP METAL BITS IN WOMEN'S THONGS?

Darth Cupcake

#10
June 23, 2008, 02:48:46 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 23, 2008, 02:43:58 PM
WHY ARE THERE SHARP METAL BITS IN WOMEN'S THONGS?

Victoria's Secret has a weird habit of turning thongs into charm bracelets for the cooch.
Be the trouble you want to see in the world.

Richter

#11
June 23, 2008, 03:34:03 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on June 23, 2008, 02:48:46 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 23, 2008, 02:43:58 PM
WHY ARE THERE SHARP METAL BITS IN WOMEN'S THONGS?

Victoria's Secret has a weird habit of turning thongs into charm bracelets for the cooch.

No other statement I read today will top this.  :lulz:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Darth Cupcake

#12
June 23, 2008, 03:43:17 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 23, 2008, 03:34:03 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on June 23, 2008, 02:48:46 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 23, 2008, 02:43:58 PM
WHY ARE THERE SHARP METAL BITS IN WOMEN'S THONGS?

Victoria's Secret has a weird habit of turning thongs into charm bracelets for the cooch.

No other statement I read today will top this.  :lulz:

No other experience you have today will compare to the realization that your naughty bits JINGLE when you walk. :eek:

-DC
Stopped shopping at VS a while back due to a frivolous desire to maintain self-respect
Be the trouble you want to see in the world.

AFK

#13
June 23, 2008, 03:47:56 PM
Okay, here's the question.  What guy is going to linger long enough on the lingerie to examine the adornments?  I mean, I think I'm not alone on this, but there's far more interesting treasure that lies beneath. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Suu

#14
June 23, 2008, 03:49:56 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on June 23, 2008, 03:43:17 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 23, 2008, 03:34:03 PM
Quote from: Darth Cupcake on June 23, 2008, 02:48:46 PM
Quote from: LMNO on June 23, 2008, 02:43:58 PM
WHY ARE THERE SHARP METAL BITS IN WOMEN'S THONGS?

Victoria's Secret has a weird habit of turning thongs into charm bracelets for the cooch.

No other statement I read today will top this.  :lulz:

No other experience you have today will compare to the realization that your naughty bits JINGLE when you walk. :eek:

-DC
Stopped shopping at VS a while back due to a frivolous desire to maintain self-respect

3 words: SEMI-ANNUAL SALE
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."
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