Small Talk

[Cramulus]

this thread is even better if you read it as one continuous conversation punctuated by awkward pauses

[AFK]

You see, it was especially funny because one of the reporters yelled "DUCK!"  And you see, George W. Bush is now in that period of time where a new President has been elected, but hasn't yet taken power.  They call this the "Lame Duck" period.  It can be a rather awkward time for the country where little is done or accomplished.  It's like the government is hamfisted.  So, when someone yelled "DUCK!" it was ironic!  Do you get it?
              /
             /                                     *Goddamn, why can't the meeting start now?*
            /                                               /

[Cain]

So I hear HIMEOBS                         We're all totally                                                 
are buying out the company              fucked then                                               
\                                                  /

[bds]

this thread is even better if you read it as one continuous conversation punctuated by awkward pauses

Isn't that the point of it?
That's how I read it first, anyway.
But yeah, 

[Cramulus]

Working hard? Or hardly working? heh heh heh   
         \
           \                               Which one of those does
            \                              "I brought a gun to work today"
             \                               fall under?
              \                                                  /

[AFK]

So whaddya think about                  That's a miniature right?
the new product line?                     Or is that actual size?                         
\                                                  /

[/quote]

[Manta Obscura]

Gift of the Magi (disgruntled worker edition):

                                                      I sold our water to get you these cups!
                                                         /   
                                                        /
Well I sold our cups to put an               /
extra $300 in my pocket and               /
pad my already exorbitant pay           /
rate!                                            /
              \                                  /

                        \                          /
                           Awwwwwwwww!

[LMNO]

How's that glass ceiling treating ya?                                            
   \                                                 

[Manta Obscura]

How's that glass ceiling treating ya?                                            
   \                                                 

I'm guessing you're here because
you're between pregnancies?
                 \

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Oh, are you on the rag?                                     
   \                                                 

[AFK]

                                     Actually, I have a Bailout plan of my own.
                                     It's called carrying the CFO's lovechild. 
                                                       /

[Cramulus]

bump



I bought a jet ski and surfed it around the bay. What did you do this weekend?
     /
     /                           Same thing but replace "jet ski" with "hobo"
     /                                                 \

[Payne]

"You. Me. A bottle of washing up liquid. A
motel room, and NEVER MENTIONING IT EVER!"
            \
              \                 "Okay! Just between you, me and the water cooler!"
                \                                  /

                              ¦
                              ¦
   I won't tell a soul if you give my spiggot a twist or two

[Payne]

A long long time ago, I can still remember,
The way that music used to make me smile
            \
              \                 And I knew that if I had my chance, I could make those people dance
                \               And maybe they'd be happy for a while...
                  \                                  /

                              ¦
                              ¦
   Buddy Holly - Gone but not spiggot-en

[Payne]

"So last night I watched five movies on five different screens at the same time"
            \
              \                 
                \               "Wow, that must have been hard. Anything interesting happen?"
                  \                                  /


"Not really. I did quite like the scene where it turns out that Darth Vader is really Tyler Durden, and he shoots the murderer in a football stadium and forces him to say to the Romans "No! I am Bond, James Bond!"
            \
              \                 
                \               "...Your taste in movies sucks"
                  \                                  /