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Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 19, 2003, 11:11:36 PM

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Malaria test subject #777

#45
May 18, 2004, 05:35:23 PM
Dear Roger,

In my never-ending quest to rid myself of this damned malaria-carrying, blood-sucking, ever-replicating mosquito horde, I have been conducting arcane experiments in my underground laboratory.

Unfortunately, something has gone seriously amiss.
The mosquitos have been tranformed into a deadly swarm of vampire bats.

I write this message to you in my own blood (what's left of it), as I cower in the broom closet and hope to sneak it out by trusted messenger. Please help me! These bats are bound to break through the door at any moment!!

Yours in Terror,
777
A lab accident in the sperm bank made me what I am today.

Tumani Arch Arsonist

#46
May 19, 2004, 04:09:15 AM
GOOD GODS! the humanity! space marines reduced to *gasp* PURPLE KITTENS! quickly now! the cure! *hurls plague marines at the pink and purple monstrosities* diieeeeeee *falldown, run over by hello kitty rhino* noooOO!



Oh, can you help me with the jackalpup in my bedroom? im currently on a dresser with my laptop, the laptop sustaining heavy damage from use as a shield. i dont know how much longer i can remain in one piece!
If a man sleeps in a damp place, his back aches and he ends up half paralyzed, but is this true of a loach? If he lives in a tree, he is terrified and shakes with fright, but is this true of a monkey? Of these three creatures, then, which one knows the proper place to live? Men eat the flesh of grass-fed and grain-fed animals, deer eat grass, centipedes find snakes tasty, and hawks and falcons relish mice. Of these four, which knows how food ought to taste? Monkeys pair with monkeys, deer go out with deer, and fish play around with fish. Men claim that Mao-chi'iang and Lady Li were beautiful, but if fish saw them they would dive to the bottom of the stream, if birds saw them they would fly away, and if deer saw them they would break into a run. Of these four, which knows how to fix the standard of beauty for the world?

Trollax

#47
May 19, 2004, 05:23:34 AM
Quote from: Riff


Now there's a mad-dog I want.  :D

The Good Reverend Roger

#48
May 19, 2004, 07:23:23 AM
Quote from: Malaria test subject #777Dear Roger,

In my never-ending quest to rid myself of this damned malaria-carrying, blood-sucking, ever-replicating mosquito horde, I have been conducting arcane experiments in my underground laboratory.

Unfortunately, something has gone seriously amiss.
The mosquitos have been tranformed into a deadly swarm of vampire bats.

I write this message to you in my own blood (what's left of it), as I cower in the broom closet and hope to sneak it out by trusted messenger. Please help me! These bats are bound to break through the door at any moment!!

Yours in Terror,
777

A little-known fact about Vampire bats is that they all vote republican.

Simply hang a Kerry for President poster on your behind, and they will flee.

WARNING:  Side effects may include granola-breath, and body odor that smells like patchouli.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#49
May 19, 2004, 07:24:16 AM
Quote from: Tumani Arch ArsonistGOOD GODS! the humanity! space marines reduced to *gasp* PURPLE KITTENS! quickly now! the cure! *hurls plague marines at the pink and purple monstrosities* diieeeeeee *falldown, run over by hello kitty rhino* noooOO!



Oh, can you help me with the jackalpup in my bedroom? im currently on a dresser with my laptop, the laptop sustaining heavy damage from use as a shield. i dont know how much longer i can remain in one piece!

Duct tape a razor sharp hatchet to each hand.

But only attack if you must, because, gosh-darn it, I just LOVE jackalpups.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

chaosgraves:agentoferis

#50
May 19, 2004, 08:02:49 PM
there are Cateplebas digging in my garden at night.


I cant stand violence against natures creatures.


what can I do to get rid of them?
Constitution?!?!? Isn't that a D&D stat.

Malaul

#51
May 19, 2004, 08:13:51 PM
eat em?
Coito ergo sum
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.  --Comedian Chris Rock

chaosgraves:agentoferis

#52
May 19, 2004, 08:15:55 PM
no that would be wrong.... wrong wrong.


besides I hear they taste like urine soaked feces
Constitution?!?!? Isn't that a D&D stat.

Malaul

#53
May 19, 2004, 08:25:08 PM
"hear" meaning KNOWS FROM PERSONAL EXPRINCE!!!!!?????!!!!!
Coito ergo sum
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.  --Comedian Chris Rock

chaosgraves:agentoferis

#54
May 19, 2004, 08:28:13 PM
no hear as in my friend unbound wrench told me.


he didn't care though cause hes unbound, and I'm a bound fool.


he also won't help me with this problem...
Constitution?!?!? Isn't that a D&D stat.

Malaul

#55
May 19, 2004, 08:30:22 PM
Ill bind his wrench!!  ::shakes fist::
Coito ergo sum
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.  --Comedian Chris Rock

chaosgraves:agentoferis

#56
May 19, 2004, 08:32:14 PM
I thought that too


It's pretty unbound...



eats a lot of fiber it does.
Constitution?!?!? Isn't that a D&D stat.

Bella

#57
May 19, 2004, 08:44:41 PM
Not to mention prunes.

Why don't you feed those whatever they are to Devil Squerril.
Half her recipes call for things that taste like pee and poo.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Malaul

#58
May 19, 2004, 08:48:11 PM
::wince::

prune poo
Coito ergo sum
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.  --Comedian Chris Rock

chaosgraves:agentoferis

#59
May 19, 2004, 08:53:19 PM
Prune poo?
Constitution?!?!? Isn't that a D&D stat.
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