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If I was God

Started by Thurnez Isa, July 03, 2009, 01:54:50 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#30
July 06, 2009, 11:06:27 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 11:03:41 PM
Admittedly, I don't have any evidence to say that god does run things. But also, there really isn't anything to say he doesn't either.

I think he did, until about 2000 years ago.  Then something happened.

That's why the Judeo-Christian God stopped being as funny as he used to be.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard

#31
July 06, 2009, 11:07:26 PM
Why 2000 years ago?
Insanity we trust.

The Good Reverend Roger

#32
July 06, 2009, 11:13:18 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 11:07:26 PM
Why 2000 years ago?

Old Testament ended.  No more funny plagues, wrath, etc.  Remember the Canaanites?  Neither do I.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard

#33
July 06, 2009, 11:16:53 PM
Ah. I don't know about that stopping. Maybe it just got more subtle. Now it just blames all of the disasters on nature or uses human patsies. Serial killers who are actually being directed by God, terrorists who are the same way, who knows what kind of mayhem he might be behind.
Insanity we trust.

The Good Reverend Roger

#34
July 06, 2009, 11:46:40 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 11:16:53 PM
Ah. I don't know about that stopping. Maybe it just got more subtle. Now it just blames all of the disasters on nature or uses human patsies. Serial killers who are actually being directed by God, terrorists who are the same way, who knows what kind of mayhem he might be behind.

Balls.  The old testament God was never sneaky about ANYTHING.  Just ask Gommorah.

Nope.  God ain't running things, at least not anymore.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard

#35
July 06, 2009, 11:58:35 PM
Maybe it just decided to change it's tactics.
Insanity we trust.

Requia ☣

#36
July 07, 2009, 12:26:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2009, 10:07:26 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 10:00:00 PM
Okay. Why?

Because this "intelligent design" is BULLSHIT.  

It's a little-known fact that all pre and early-human skeletons are found with leopard marks in the back of their heads.  Why?  Because our bodies are designed to do NOTHING right.  We can't run, we can't fight, we can't even HIDE or at least SEE PREDATORS COMING.

Let's review:

1.  Brain.  There is NO REASON to have the brain up in the head.  The head should only be a sensor suite.  The brain should be in the torso, which would be armored.  Gets rid of that ridiculous spinal cord.

2.  Heart.  Two of them.  One can go where the appendix is now.  The appendix can go.  Or, if it MUST stay, when it goes boom, it should REALLY go *BOOM*.  Sort of like a random suicide bomber, only different.

3.  Arms.  We are a tool using species.  We need two big beefy ass arms for holding stuff, and one skinny one with about 3 elbows and 6 joints on each finger for manipulating the things we're holding.  Or just an arm with a bunch of tentacles on the end.  Speaking of tentacles...

4.  Tail.  Why was this gotten rid of?  Replace it.  Or, better yet, put a BIG FUCKING TENTACLE just above the ass.  With a robot-like gripper arm on the end.  The porn possibilities alone justify it.

5.  Eyes.  Four of 'em.  Two in front, for hunting, and two on the sides like a bird, to see the leopards coming.

Anyway, that's what I'd do.  For starters.

No tail, human bodies do pretty much one think right and thats long haul endurance, a tail would screw with walking/running.

I want two of the fancy arms.

i don't think there's room for our brains in our chest cavities, and skulls are better armor than ribs.  On the other hand, I'd love a dinosaur style backup brain to help with A) getting the fuck out of the way of the leopards, and B) using those new arms to their maximum possible dexterity.  In fact, move the entire cortex and double it in size, leave us with room for a fucking sanity check subroutine in the skull, a giant chunk of brain just devoted to checking and seeing if the rest of it is working right.

And cutting off access to the cortex if it isn't.
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

The Wizard

#37
July 07, 2009, 12:32:54 AM
Makes sense. Someone should make a post-humanist thread.
Insanity we trust.

The Good Reverend Roger

#38
July 07, 2009, 12:41:33 AM
Quote from: Requia on July 07, 2009, 12:26:47 AM
I want two of the fancy arms.

They don't make them with two.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

navkat

#39
July 07, 2009, 12:55:08 AM
the skinny arm should be movable for task like scratching your own back and holding a camera at odd-angles while you're filming yourself having secks.

The Good Reverend Roger

#40
July 07, 2009, 01:15:18 AM
Quote from: navkat on July 07, 2009, 12:55:08 AM
the skinny arm should be movable for task like scratching your own back and holding a camera at odd-angles while you're filming yourself having secks.

Link?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

BabylonHoruv

#41
July 07, 2009, 02:06:29 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2009, 11:46:40 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 11:16:53 PM
Ah. I don't know about that stopping. Maybe it just got more subtle. Now it just blames all of the disasters on nature or uses human patsies. Serial killers who are actually being directed by God, terrorists who are the same way, who knows what kind of mayhem he might be behind.

Balls.  The old testament God was never sneaky about ANYTHING.  Just ask Gommorah.

Nope.  God ain't running things, at least not anymore.

I dunno,  The holocaust sure looks like his work to me.  For some reason he did that kind of thing to the Jews all the time.
You're a special case, Babylon.  You are offensive even when you don't post.

Merely by being alive, you make everyone just a little more miserable

-Dok Howl

The Good Reverend Roger

#42
July 07, 2009, 02:14:41 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on July 07, 2009, 02:06:29 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2009, 11:46:40 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 11:16:53 PM
Ah. I don't know about that stopping. Maybe it just got more subtle. Now it just blames all of the disasters on nature or uses human patsies. Serial killers who are actually being directed by God, terrorists who are the same way, who knows what kind of mayhem he might be behind.

Balls.  The old testament God was never sneaky about ANYTHING.  Just ask Gommorah.

Nope.  God ain't running things, at least not anymore.

I dunno,  The holocaust sure looks like his work to me.  For some reason he did that kind of thing to the Jews all the time.

No, he fucking didn't.  He punished everyone around them, instead.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

BabylonHoruv

#43
July 07, 2009, 02:23:40 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 07, 2009, 02:14:41 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on July 07, 2009, 02:06:29 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2009, 11:46:40 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 11:16:53 PM
Ah. I don't know about that stopping. Maybe it just got more subtle. Now it just blames all of the disasters on nature or uses human patsies. Serial killers who are actually being directed by God, terrorists who are the same way, who knows what kind of mayhem he might be behind.

Balls.  The old testament God was never sneaky about ANYTHING.  Just ask Gommorah.

Nope.  God ain't running things, at least not anymore.

I dunno,  The holocaust sure looks like his work to me.  For some reason he did that kind of thing to the Jews all the time.

No, he fucking didn't.  He punished everyone around them, instead.

Yup, that too.  Thus we get fun things like the firebombing of Dresden.
You're a special case, Babylon.  You are offensive even when you don't post.

Merely by being alive, you make everyone just a little more miserable

-Dok Howl

The Good Reverend Roger

#44
July 07, 2009, 02:30:11 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on July 07, 2009, 02:23:40 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 07, 2009, 02:14:41 AM
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on July 07, 2009, 02:06:29 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2009, 11:46:40 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 11:16:53 PM
Ah. I don't know about that stopping. Maybe it just got more subtle. Now it just blames all of the disasters on nature or uses human patsies. Serial killers who are actually being directed by God, terrorists who are the same way, who knows what kind of mayhem he might be behind.

Balls.  The old testament God was never sneaky about ANYTHING.  Just ask Gommorah.

Nope.  God ain't running things, at least not anymore.

I dunno,  The holocaust sure looks like his work to me.  For some reason he did that kind of thing to the Jews all the time.

No, he fucking didn't.  He punished everyone around them, instead.

Yup, that too.  Thus we get fun things like the firebombing of Dresden.

Yes, those poor innocent Germans.   :roll:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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