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The Horrible Creep of Linguistics

Started by Richter, July 30, 2009, 01:22:36 PM

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Requia ☣

#15
July 31, 2009, 06:10:16 AM
Quote from: Richter on July 31, 2009, 03:53:12 AM
Ok.  Which businesses have you heard it used in?

It's been used outside Sherman Act country in a lot of workplace meetings I've been in.

I've only ever seen it used by Google and Microsoft.
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

LMNO

#16
July 31, 2009, 01:42:38 PM
"Leveraging core competecies to incent the drive for bleeding edge mission critical turnkey solutions."



Yes, I actually heard the above sentence used.  For real.

Kai

#17
July 31, 2009, 01:50:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 31, 2009, 01:42:38 PM
"Leveraging core competecies to incent the drive for bleeding edge mission critical turnkey solutions."



Yes, I actually heard the above sentence used.  For real.

:x :x

What does it really mean? Work your employees till they die of exhaustion?
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

LMNO

#18
July 31, 2009, 01:57:46 PM
"Get your employees excited about finishing the important project."

MMIX

#19
July 31, 2009, 02:40:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 31, 2009, 01:57:46 PM
"Get your employees excited about finishing the important project."


moar porn - srsly
"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber

LMNO

#20
July 31, 2009, 02:58:20 PM
Or free beer hour.

Captain Utopia

#21
July 31, 2009, 03:44:54 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 31, 2009, 01:42:38 PM
"Leveraging core competecies to incent the drive for bleeding edge mission critical turnkey solutions."
Doesn't "bleeding edge" form an oxymoron with "turnkey"? And neither sound desirable for something "mission critical". If you have competent people who can see this, then why would you want to give them an incentive to go against their better judgement? Unless you intend to use those very same people to create a false incentive to motivate the rest of the organisation into FAIL.

Which is the only meaning I can extract from that. In other words: "Let's thwart the system from within, by pitting it against itself!" I'd watch this person very closely as they obviously have strong Discordian tendencies.

LMNO

#22
July 31, 2009, 03:55:31 PM
I watch that person closely, because they're a moron.

Kai

#23
July 31, 2009, 05:37:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 31, 2009, 01:57:46 PM
"Get your employees excited about finishing the important project."

And they couldn't just say that?

Is this jargon a secret language to keep the rest of humanity from figuring out their devious plans?
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

LMNO

#24
July 31, 2009, 05:42:59 PM
It's a secret language to keep employees from realizing their managers are incompetent and borderline retarded.

Kai

#25
July 31, 2009, 06:09:17 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 31, 2009, 05:42:59 PM
It's a secret language to keep employees from realizing their managers are incompetent and borderline retarded.

Should be easy enough to convince them of the truth.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

The Good Reverend Roger

#26
July 31, 2009, 06:43:50 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 31, 2009, 05:42:59 PM
It's a secret language to keep employees from realizing their managers are incompetent and borderline retarded.

That's why they get MBAs.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#27
July 31, 2009, 06:44:22 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 31, 2009, 01:42:38 PM
"Leveraging core competecies to incent the drive for bleeding edge mission critical turnkey solutions."



Yes, I actually heard the above sentence used.  For real.

That's when I reach for the bludgeon.  

"incent"  what the fuck is that shit?  :crankey:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

MMIX

#28
July 31, 2009, 06:47:20 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 31, 2009, 06:44:22 PM
Quote from: LMNO on July 31, 2009, 01:42:38 PM
"Leveraging core competecies to incent the drive for bleeding edge mission critical turnkey solutions."



Yes, I actually heard the above sentence used.  For real.

That's when I reach for the bludgeon.  

"incent"  what the fuck is that shit?  :crankey:

its a verb Roger . . . you obviously don't got an MBA [Must Be an Asshole]
"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber

LMNO

#29
July 31, 2009, 06:53:06 PM
And you thought George W Bush was mangling the language...



...wait, he was an MBA, too...  "Strategery" makes sense, now. 
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