Rev Roger, MSY36: Von Melee's Day in Court

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It was another pleasant morning in Tucson.  It's always a pleasant morning here, provided you have the right values and aren't in a world of shit, involving district attorneys, class 1 misdemeanor charges, and being hauled through the churning gears of the justice system.

Von Melee, unfortunately, is in a world of shit.  Von Melee's arraignment had been delayed ANOTHER hour...Nivek, Kaz, Von Melee, and myself were sitting out in a very nice courtyard, and it was easy to forget that this is a place where they take people "into the system", which is another way of saying "No more fun for you, Bubba".  The weather was perfect, the sun was out, and we were all nicely dressed.  In fact, we apparently looked like a collection of cops and prosecutors, because random strangers kept shooting us dirty looks, and worse.

For example, one homeless guy rode by on a bike, flipped us off, and bellowed out "Number one!  Nuuuuuuuuuuumber ONE!".  Some random redneck looked me in the eye, and he too flipped me off.  Things were getting tense.  There was a bad feeling, as if everyone in the large park-courtyard hated us.  Mistaken or no, we were the enemy.  The pigs.  The Man.  The personification of all the horrible shit that was happening to them in a building just a few meters away.

Kaz and I went to get some coffee at what passes for a commissary, and the situation deteriorated.  An ancient fat man sat behind a counter, with a filthy thermos on it, and a crowd of hobos were taking up all the seats.  I stood and waited for about a minute, and the guy just sat there and stared at the floor.  He looked dead.

"He can't see you", one of the hobos finally said.  The rest gave a nasty laugh as the blind guy slowly turned in our direction.  He had no eyeballs.  I don't mean his eyes didn't work, I mean he had gaping sockets where his eyes belonged.

"Coffee?"

"Sexy!", the ancient freak said.

I just stood and stared, utterly confused and sort of horrified.  

"SEXY!", he bellowed...

"He means Sixty cents", said the hobo.  More nasty laughter.

"Okay, give me two coffees, then."

"Dollah twenny, heresacups, coffee inna thermos."

I paid the man, and he gave us two reasonably clean styrofoam cups.  Despite the outer condition of the thermos, the coffee LOOKED okay.  I asked for lids for our cups.

"AIN'T GOT NO LIDS.  LIDS IS ILLEGAL UP INNA COURRRRRRRRRRTROOMS."  It was like listening to a beluga whale moan in pain.  We fled.

At about this point, I felt the spirit move me.  I began to look for a public bathroom, and Kaz wandered out to the courtyard.  The bathroom was a tiny slot in the wall, with stalls built for midgets.  I squeezed my bulk in, and began to take care of business, when I was assaulted by another horror.

From the next stall over, I heard someone muttering and groaning in Spanish.  I didn't catch much other than "mother of God" and some grunting...and then whomever it was began to laugh.  It wasn't a healthy laugh, and I hear what sounded like water drops hitting tile.  I could just see under the stall wall...

Blood.  Little drops of blood hitting the floor between the guy's feet.  More laughter.  More blood.  Not much, not pints or anything.  Just little droplets.  The laughter began to rise a bit, and I distinctly heard the guy mutter "Brewer".

What the fuck was this shit?  Some random Hispanic guy laughing and apparently spitting up blood, and apparently talking about the governor?  I hurriedly finished my business and got up to leave.  It was just too weird...but the other guy opened his stall door at the same time.  His pants were around his ankles, and his lips were all cut up...not like you'd get from a beating, but more like what a scalpel or a razor would do.  He looked at me, laughed hysterically, and then said "BUENO!".

I put my shoulder into him, knocking him back into the stall, and fled for the relative normalcy of the courtyard.  But when I got there, Nivek and Von Melee had already gone to the courtroom, and Kaz was stomping on one of the millions of pigeons that infest the legal district.

"What the FUCK are you doing, Kaz?"

"Teaching this flying rat a thing or two about trying to shit on me."

"KAZ!  Why the FUCK are you stomping on a pigeon?"

"BECAUSE I LEFT MY PIGEON PUNCHING HAT AT HOME!  FUCK YOU!"

It was all too much.  I took a vacation day for this, and I'm going to go to jail because of my fucked up friends.  Or maybe not.  Two uniformed deputies walked by, looked at Kaz, and laughed.  One said "I've always wanted to do that."...the other replied "It's fun.  You should try it some time."

Everyone in this town is insane.  Even the cops.  ESPECIALLY the cops.

I sat on a bench, and waited for the horror show to end, drinking surprisingly good coffee, and getting flipped off by more random strangers, until Nivek and Von Melee came back down, and we left for the seedier side of town, where shit like this doesn't happen.

Or Kill Me.

[Rumckle]

 

[LMNO]

WOW.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

WOW.

It never ends here, LMNO.  It just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

What's that?  You want MORE Slack?

[Jenne]

JESUS fucking CHRISTO.  Downtown Riverside can be like that.  The courthouse is directly across the street from the jail.  The visit I did with my dad before he was sent up north was so fucking horrific.  The smells you get in that place.  The dungeon that was the visiting room.  *shivers*  Your story brought it all back.

Maybe I'll write about it.  Experiences like this one and that one should be recorded for posterity.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

JESUS fucking CHRISTO.  Downtown Riverside can be like that.  The courthouse is directly across the street from the jail.  The visit I did with my dad before he was sent up north was so fucking horrific.  The smells you get in that place.  The dungeon that was the visiting room.  *shivers*  Your story brought it all back.

Maybe I'll write about it.  Experiences like this one and that one should be recorded for posterity.

I can't get out, Jenne.  I am stuck here in my beautiful BIP, and I can't get out.  It's so sunny and nice.  And it's full of people who also can't get out, and they're all crazy.  Maybe it's the water. 

[Jenne]

JESUS fucking CHRISTO.  Downtown Riverside can be like that.  The courthouse is directly across the street from the jail.  The visit I did with my dad before he was sent up north was so fucking horrific.  The smells you get in that place.  The dungeon that was the visiting room.  *shivers*  Your story brought it all back.

Maybe I'll write about it.  Experiences like this one and that one should be recorded for posterity.

I can't get out, Jenne.  I am stuck here in my beautiful BIP, and I can't get out.  It's so sunny and nice.  And it's full of people who also can't get out, and they're all crazy.  Maybe it's the water. 

The water, the air...the food...everything's tainted. 

Could be worse, I suppose...everything can ALWAYS be worse, or so they say.  Sometimes I think it's not worse, but a different worse, if that makes sense.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

JESUS fucking CHRISTO.  Downtown Riverside can be like that.  The courthouse is directly across the street from the jail.  The visit I did with my dad before he was sent up north was so fucking horrific.  The smells you get in that place.  The dungeon that was the visiting room.  *shivers*  Your story brought it all back.

Maybe I'll write about it.  Experiences like this one and that one should be recorded for posterity.

I can't get out, Jenne.  I am stuck here in my beautiful BIP, and I can't get out.  It's so sunny and nice.  And it's full of people who also can't get out, and they're all crazy.  Maybe it's the water. 

The water, the air...the food...everything's tainted. 

Could be worse, I suppose...everything can ALWAYS be worse, or so they say.  Sometimes I think it's not worse, but a different worse, if that makes sense.

Of course it gets weirder.  It always gets weirder.

Or maybe I'm just noticing it more.  Or maybe it's both.

[Jenne]

JESUS fucking CHRISTO.  Downtown Riverside can be like that.  The courthouse is directly across the street from the jail.  The visit I did with my dad before he was sent up north was so fucking horrific.  The smells you get in that place.  The dungeon that was the visiting room.  *shivers*  Your story brought it all back.

Maybe I'll write about it.  Experiences like this one and that one should be recorded for posterity.

I can't get out, Jenne.  I am stuck here in my beautiful BIP, and I can't get out.  It's so sunny and nice.  And it's full of people who also can't get out, and they're all crazy.  Maybe it's the water. 

The water, the air...the food...everything's tainted. 

Could be worse, I suppose...everything can ALWAYS be worse, or so they say.  Sometimes I think it's not worse, but a different worse, if that makes sense.

Of course it gets weirder.  It always gets weirder.

Or maybe I'm just noticing it more.  Or maybe it's both.

Weird, worse...sometimes they are the same, sometimes it's what you run to and then once you're in it, you wonder why you ran so hard and so fast when all you want is OUT. 

And you may be noticing it more, and you may just be over it.  You sound over it.   It's ok, you know, to be over it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

JESUS fucking CHRISTO.  Downtown Riverside can be like that.  The courthouse is directly across the street from the jail.  The visit I did with my dad before he was sent up north was so fucking horrific.  The smells you get in that place.  The dungeon that was the visiting room.  *shivers*  Your story brought it all back.

Maybe I'll write about it.  Experiences like this one and that one should be recorded for posterity.

I can't get out, Jenne.  I am stuck here in my beautiful BIP, and I can't get out.  It's so sunny and nice.  And it's full of people who also can't get out, and they're all crazy.  Maybe it's the water. 

The water, the air...the food...everything's tainted. 

Could be worse, I suppose...everything can ALWAYS be worse, or so they say.  Sometimes I think it's not worse, but a different worse, if that makes sense.

Of course it gets weirder.  It always gets weirder.

Or maybe I'm just noticing it more.  Or maybe it's both.

Weird, worse...sometimes they are the same, sometimes it's what you run to and then once you're in it, you wonder why you ran so hard and so fast when all you want is OUT. 

And you may be noticing it more, and you may just be over it.  You sound over it.   It's ok, you know, to be over it.

Over what?

[Richter]

What, did VM decide Nivek couldn't one- up him on charges or something. 

Also, I'm newly devoted to staying away from "the state", even though I'm in a different one.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What, did VM decide Nivek couldn't one- up him on charges or something. 

Also, I'm newly devoted to staying away from "the state", even though I'm in a different one.

Come to Tucson, Richter.  It's so sunny and happy and bright and we only sometimes miss Curly.

[Jenne]

I dunno, I thought maybe you'd be over the worsening weirdness sometimes...or maybe the feeling you can't get out--the sun doesn't let you leave that place, I think.  Sunny, bright--those things don't jar--it's the "happy" part that gets me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I dunno, I thought maybe you'd be over the worsening weirdness sometimes...or maybe the feeling you can't get out--the sun doesn't let you leave that place, I think.  Sunny, bright--those things don't jar--it's the "happy" part that gets me.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed

I can't STOP laughing.