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Can I go Columbine Kid yet?

Started by Freeky, November 24, 2009, 02:40:14 AM

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Freeky

November 24, 2009, 02:40:14 AM Last Edit: November 24, 2009, 03:34:34 AM by Mistress Freeky
My son has a rash. It has been spreading across his body alarmingly fo the past day, and caused me some concern. After my mom got home from eating lunch with a friend (and in the privacy in my mind when I found out, I asked, "You have a friend?") I asked her to take me to an emergency clinic. Despite its name, they do NOT accept walk-in patients. As I was finding this out and preparing to leave, TGRR called me to say that my son had called him this morning, and he was making sure that I got my phone back. I mentioned that he had a terrible rash, and he advised me to get him checked out as soon as possible, good enough advice for any symptom with no obvious cause. It turned out to be caused by a virus, and there's nothing they can do except wait it out, so the trip to the ER was informative, but still rather expensive for my broke ass. My mom and I returned home to find their new dog had got into my room and chewed some things up, and had got up on the table and eaten my son's newest pair of shoes (replacements for the ones she chewed up before).

After my dad got home later on, I could hear her bitching about how I thought she knew nothing (she never offered me advice on what to do, and after we left the hosptial she even said that it could have been something), and how I'd never get as much money from my ex for child support as I 'was led to believe' (she's never even had to deal with such things, nor has she, to my knowledge anyway, done any research on the subject), and how 'not smart' I am (my dad replied, "She's stupid!") and a whole lot of other ridiculous nonsense.

Where do they get off? I mean, really? What gives them the right to say nasty things in a voice loud enough to tell half the city what they think, especially about people they don't know? I am including myself in this category, because they don't really know anything about me, and this suits me fine. I mean, sure, its probably very stressful on them for me to move back in with no job or other income, but why does she have to get all melodramatic? "Ohhhh, I just want my life to end!" Direct quote. "I can't afford to keep doing this!" After finding what her stupid dog had done, and aimed at me, I could just tell. It's her fucking dog, maybe she ought to train the stupid idiot, or keep her outside, or put her in a crate when nobody ss home, instead of blaming me for everything.

And it's like this almost every day.  I am getting so sick of this shit, and I have nowhere else to go. Well, One thought that keeps rolling around in  my mind is, "You want your life to end? That can be arranged."

Lies

#1
November 24, 2009, 05:11:29 AM
Reading this is a little worrying, as this doesn't appear to me to be so much as a rant as a cry for help...

It sounds like you have a lot of problems with your parents and what they think of you, and parents don't unusually have such unimaginatively high standards for their own children.

You sound depressed about your life and you're under a lot of financial stress, and it's understandable that such a situation can cause a major imbalance in the way you perceive life and cause suicidal thoughts...

Seriously, you don't sound well, and should probably seek counseling.

Love, Light + Chaos.

- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

The Johnny

#2
November 24, 2009, 05:54:57 AM
Quote from: Lysergic on November 24, 2009, 05:11:29 AM

It sounds like you have a lot of problems with your parents and what they think of you, and parents don't unusually have such unimaginatively high standards for their own children.


One thing is having high standards, and another thing is being assholes about it.

It seems your parents dont want you there.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

hooplala

#3
November 24, 2009, 01:37:51 PM
I feel for you, parents are often too easily lead to believe they can say anything about their kids.

On the other hand, though, if its her house I don't think she needs to keep her dog locked up all day so that it doesn't chew on her adult daughter-who-moved-back-in's shit.  No offense intended, just saying.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
November 24, 2009, 02:06:34 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on November 24, 2009, 02:40:14 AM
After my dad got home later on, I could hear her bitching about how I thought she knew nothing (she never offered me advice on what to do, and after we left the hosptial she even said that it could have been something), and how I'd never get as much money from my ex for child support as I 'was led to believe' (she's never even had to deal with such things, nor has she, to my knowledge anyway, done any research on the subject), and how 'not smart' I am (my dad replied, "She's stupid!") and a whole lot of other ridiculous nonsense.

Wow.  I knew it was bad, but not that bad.  You have to get the hell out of there.  I may have some ideas.  If you can survive til Wednesday, we'll talk.  If not, go down guns blazing, screaming "I DID IT FOR JOHNNY!"
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Richter

#5
November 24, 2009, 02:10:57 PM
If Mom can only complain later, and not offer such sage advice when needed, then it's useless noise.  Shot in the dark guess: she's frustrated at herself, and doesn't know other ways to blow off the steam.    

The Dog, until it can be trained otherwise, is an agent and tool of the DUMB.  Training = damn well better.  Roger could advise better, but everyone in the house should be in on the program keeping the pup in line.  It will bring such useless little "icing on the cake" incidents and preventing them will keep EVERYONE's blood pressure down.

Sucks, but sounds like you're workign with it as best you can.  It gets daunting when you realize you have to be the adult around your parents.
Hold fast and be well.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Suu

#6
November 24, 2009, 02:40:44 PM
I'd have killed my parents BEFORE I moved back in with them. Just sayin'.

-Suu
Not the best source for such things.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

LMNO

#7
November 24, 2009, 02:44:14 PM
The more I meet people, the more I realize how utterly weird it is to have the non-combatative, non-passive/aggressive, stable parent/child relationship that I do.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
November 24, 2009, 03:00:09 PM
Quote from: LMNO on November 24, 2009, 02:44:14 PM
The more I meet people, the more I realize how utterly weird it is to have the non-combatative, non-passive/aggressive, stable parent/child relationship that I do.

Me, too.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#9
November 24, 2009, 03:37:50 PM
Oh I love my parents, and I equally love living 1300 miles away from them.  I had a good childhood, but I hit that point in my adulthood that I knew if I had to move back in, things would be way too rough. Despite what they kept saying following the divorce announcement.

They already have my brother and sister living with them again, they don't really need me too. Christ, I'm almost 30.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
November 24, 2009, 03:41:01 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 24, 2009, 03:37:50 PM
Oh I love my parents, and I equally love living 1300 miles away from them.  I had a good childhood, but I hit that point in my adulthood that I knew if I had to move back in, things would be way too rough. Despite what they kept saying following the divorce announcement.

They already have my brother and sister living with them again, they don't really need me too. Christ, I'm almost 30.

Freeky's in a bit of a bad spot.  She left a (verbally) abusive guy, and wound up in another verbally abusive environment, basically because this is Tucson and there's no work and literally nowhere else to go.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#11
November 24, 2009, 03:51:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 24, 2009, 03:41:01 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 24, 2009, 03:37:50 PM
Oh I love my parents, and I equally love living 1300 miles away from them.  I had a good childhood, but I hit that point in my adulthood that I knew if I had to move back in, things would be way too rough. Despite what they kept saying following the divorce announcement.

They already have my brother and sister living with them again, they don't really need me too. Christ, I'm almost 30.

Freeky's in a bit of a bad spot.  She left a (verbally) abusive guy, and wound up in another verbally abusive environment, basically because this is Tucson and there's no work and literally nowhere else to go.

I understand. I left an emotionally abusive relationship to move into a house with people who pretend their my parents and attempt to get into my boyfriend's pants. Fortunately I'm not a pushover. I don't put up with people talking shit about me, even if they're my own parents.

I think it's time for her to stand up for herself, and if I have to fly out to Tucson so that you and I can show her how to do it RIGHT (meaning, not landing in jail) then I'll do it.

Freeky, follow my lead. The next time your mother or father are audibly saying stuff about you, make sure the kid is asleep, walk right up to them, drill-instructor close to them, and say, "Do you have a fucking problem with me?" Keep your hands at your side, don't ball fists, don't yell, just say it in a way that you mean business, but you're not threatening bodily harm.

Guaranteed they will back right off, because if they can't say this shit to your face, that means that they are nonconfrontational people, and nonconfrontational people HATE being, well, confronted.

You let them know that you appreciate everything they have done for you, but you feel that you'd be better off living in a box under a fucking bridge than with those trolls. Tell them they are creating a negative experience for their grandson...whatever it takes. Buzzwords buzzwords buzzwords. Shake them up.

I made Herbert burst into tears using this method. And if you've ever seen a 6'2" Puerto Rican cry, it's quite the sight.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
November 24, 2009, 03:57:17 PM
Concur.

Problem is, Freeky is non-confrontational, and though I do not doubt she has the guts to do it (hell, she had the stones to walk out of a bad relationship), she'd likely lose her composure in the process, which might damage the effect...or maybe enhance it.

She's kinda fucked.  She had a 169% self-absorbed BF, and she (apparently) has two completely self-absorbed parents.  I can confirm the BF part, but I don't know the parents well enough to make the second clause of that statement with any degree of certainty (Freeky has never lied to me or anyone else that I know of, but I don't know if she's seeing this accurately).

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#13
November 24, 2009, 03:59:41 PM
Then she should practice. Do it in the mirror a few times til she's comfortable with it and then go for it. The fact that she herself may be non-confrontational makes it even better, because her parents won't expect it.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
November 24, 2009, 04:01:16 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 24, 2009, 03:59:41 PM
Then she should practice. Do it in the mirror a few times til she's comfortable with it and then go for it. The fact that she herself may be non-confrontational makes it even better, because her parents won't expect it.

Plus, if she gets upset, there are two possible solution sets:

1.  Her parents wake up to the fact that they're being shits to their own kid, or

2.  Her parents dog on her, in which case all of her questions have been answered.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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