Getting People to Listen

[Nast]

I'm 17, and live in an apartment with my brother and parents. While I understand that I am obligated to contribute with household chores, I feel that others have been neglecting their share of obligations. It's been a custom in my household that I handle the cooking , and the others collectively contribute to most of the cleaning. However, the place is usually a mess. My mom is too busy taking care of my grandparents, my brother has been in a state of depression for some time now, and my dad doesn't really do much of anything. It's simply too much for me to handle everything.

The problem is, my dad doesn't respect anything around the house. For example, this Thanksgiving, he completely ruined a metal cookie sheet by attempting to carve the turkey on it with an electric carver. It was so gouged I had to throw it away. I was upset with him for it, because I'm the only one who uses such things. His reply was "It was crap anyway, we might as well buy a new one!"

I have yet to see a new one.

He's expressed a lack of interest in improving living conditions for himself or his family all throughout his life. It's the reason the 4 of us are stuck in a depressing 2 bedroom on shaky income.

More over, this problem of not getting my parents to listen to me extends beyond silly issues like housekeeping. I've tried to set boundaries with them before with behaviors I'd find hurtful, annoying, or downright creepy. They however, cheerfully ignore these wishes in pretense of "doing things out of my best interest". It gets me so upset that I often have to resort to yelling at them / fighting. But I'm tired of yelling, even though that is the only thing that (strangely) will get them to listen.

What do?

[Suu]

Are you a junior or senior in high school?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm 17, and live in an apartment with my brother and parents. While I understand that I am obligated to contribute with household chores, I feel that others have been neglecting their share of obligations. It's been a custom in my household that I handle the cooking , and the others collectively contribute to most of the cleaning. However, the place is usually a mess. My mom is too busy taking care of my grandparents, my brother has been in a state of depression for some time now, and my dad doesn't really do much of anything. It's simply too much for me to handle everything.

The problem is, my dad doesn't respect anything around the house. For example, this Thanksgiving, he completely ruined a metal cookie sheet by attempting to carve the turkey on it with an electric carver. It was so gouged I had to throw it away. I was upset with him for it, because I'm the only one who uses such things. His reply was "It was crap anyway, we might as well buy a new one!"

I have yet to see a new one.

He's expressed a lack of interest in improving living conditions for himself or his family all throughout his life. It's the reason the 4 of us are stuck in a depressing 2 bedroom on shaky income.

More over, this problem of not getting my parents to listen to me extends beyond silly issues like housekeeping. I've tried to set boundaries with them before with behaviors I'd find hurtful, annoying, or downright creepy. They however, cheerfully ignore these wishes in pretense of "doing things out of my best interest". It gets me so upset that I often have to resort to yelling at them / fighting. But I'm tired of yelling, even though that is the only thing that (strangely) will get them to listen.

What do?

1.  Kick depressed brother in arse.

2.  Tell dad you need that cookie sheet now.

3.  Get the hell out of there as soon as is feasible.

[Nast]

Are you a junior or senior in high school?

Neither, I got my GED early and now attend the local city college.

[Suu]

Are you a junior or senior in high school?

Neither, I got my GED early and now attend the local city college.

Start applying to ones far away.

[Nast]

I'm 17, and live in an apartment with my brother and parents. While I understand that I am obligated to contribute with household chores, I feel that others have been neglecting their share of obligations. It's been a custom in my household that I handle the cooking , and the others collectively contribute to most of the cleaning. However, the place is usually a mess. My mom is too busy taking care of my grandparents, my brother has been in a state of depression for some time now, and my dad doesn't really do much of anything. It's simply too much for me to handle everything.

The problem is, my dad doesn't respect anything around the house. For example, this Thanksgiving, he completely ruined a metal cookie sheet by attempting to carve the turkey on it with an electric carver. It was so gouged I had to throw it away. I was upset with him for it, because I'm the only one who uses such things. His reply was "It was crap anyway, we might as well buy a new one!"

I have yet to see a new one.

He's expressed a lack of interest in improving living conditions for himself or his family all throughout his life. It's the reason the 4 of us are stuck in a depressing 2 bedroom on shaky income.

More over, this problem of not getting my parents to listen to me extends beyond silly issues like housekeeping. I've tried to set boundaries with them before with behaviors I'd find hurtful, annoying, or downright creepy. They however, cheerfully ignore these wishes in pretense of "doing things out of my best interest". It gets me so upset that I often have to resort to yelling at them / fighting. But I'm tired of yelling, even though that is the only thing that (strangely) will get them to listen.

What do?

1.  Kick depressed brother in arse.

2.  Tell dad you need that cookie sheet now.

3.  Get the hell out of there as soon as is feasible.

I would love to be out of here. In fact, learning skills for independence has been my project this year. It's all I can do at the moment, besides trying to keep my head on the right way.

And yeah, my brother. He's far better than he was 6 months ago, but unfortunately, I still can't do anything to force him to pick up the slack.

[The Johnny]

Learn a trade?

[Freeky]

Trades are good, and the pay is better the further you get.

I always wanted to get into welding.

[The Johnny]

If i didnt have the economic backup of my family, id probably just learn something like computers/networks that you can make more money the more you learn, and not necesarilly go to an expensive college to learn it.

What are you studying at the local college?

[Nast]

This was my first semester there, so I've been testing the water to see what sort of thing I'd like to study. So far I've taken art, botany, and some linguistics/foreign language.

The trouble is I have interests in many things, but not many of them particularly lucrative. 

[Chief Uwachiquen]

I hear you there, with interests in shit that aren't lucrative. I want to be an English Major or a Music Major.  Oh yeah, big money there. The other thing I've considered is taking culinary schooling but I don't know if I want to take a fun hobby and make a career out of it. Then again, learning more about cooking is never a BAD thing. Either way I'll take some culinary classes as electives if it's not the main focus.

[Template]

This was my first semester there, so I've been testing the water to see what sort of thing I'd like to study. So far I've taken art, botany, and some linguistics/foreign language.

The trouble is I have interests in many things, but not many of them particularly lucrative. 

Start an herbalist shop.

Get thirty jars of rosemary and thirty of oregano.  Label them different things.  Or is that too SubGenius?

[LMNO]

I hear you there, with interests in shit that aren't lucrative. I want to be an English Major or a Music Major.  Oh yeah, big money there. The other thing I've considered is taking culinary schooling but I don't know if I want to take a fun hobby and make a career out of it. Then again, learning more about cooking is never a BAD thing. Either way I'll take some culinary classes as electives if it's not the main focus.

Protip: If those are your two options, go with the english major; it's more "respected" in the outside world.

Plus, unless you're planning on writing concertos or being an engineer, playing in as many different kinds bands as possible every night of the week will teach you more about how to be a musician than going to school for it will.


LMNO
-voice of experience.

[Jenne]

I think moving out and getting roommates is the best thing you can do at this point.  Get a job (I know, not easy to find in this economy) and strike out on your own.  It'll force the other adults in the apartment to pick up their end of things.  Sucks to be taken advantage of, though.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Why is it that people who deserve them never seem to get kids as awesome as you?

Seriously though, it sucks that you're in a situation where you have to pressure your parents to behave responsibly. I am going to disagree with the majority here, though, and say that as long as you have the option of staying there for free and going to college, keep doing it. At this point, it really doesn't matter what your major is; take as many different classes as you can until you find something that you really love. Not having to work while you go to school is a huge boon; take as much advantage of that as you can.