Pixie, I raise your "man's penis stuck in a pipe" story with...

[Cain]

..."man attempts to have sex with a rottweiler" story!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/man-guilty-of-attempting-to-have-sex-with-rottweiler-1844131.html

A North Wales man was found guilty yesterday of attempting to have sex with a rottweiler.

Thomas Robert Edwards, 20, who was working at Chester Zoo at the time of the incident, denied the charge of trying to sexually penetrate a living animal.

A neighbour claimed to have witnessed Edwards grab the rottweiler by its hind legs and thrust himself at it for about twenty or thirty seconds. Edwards claimed he had merely been stroking the dog in the backyard, where he had gone to have a smoke and relieve himself.

The witness, Mr Richard Williams, said, "I felt sick. I was shocked. I could not believe what I had just seen."

Mr Williams claimed that Edwards then performed an indecent act on himself.

The court was told that the accused was drunk at the time of the incident, on the 30th of August this year, following a night out with friends in Wrexham. He then went to a party at a house on the outskirts of Wrexham where the offence took place in the early hours of the morning.

Edwards had been working in the catering department at Chester Zoo but had no contact with the animals there.

The court was also told that Edwards had pornography featuring bestiality on his computer, which depicted sexual activity with horses and dogs.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Furries Gone Wild.

[-Kel-]

poor puppy

[The Johnny]

..."man attempts to have sex with a rottweiler" story!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/man-guilty-of-attempting-to-have-sex-with-rottweiler-1844131.html

A North Wales man was found guilty yesterday of attempting to have sex with a rottweiler.

Thomas Robert Edwards, 20, who was working at Chester Zoo at the time of the incident, denied the charge of trying to sexually penetrate a living animal.

A neighbour claimed to have witnessed Edwards grab the rottweiler by its hind legs and thrust himself at it for about twenty or thirty seconds. Edwards claimed he had merely been stroking the dog in the backyard, where he had gone to have a smoke and relieve himself.

The witness, Mr Richard Williams, said, "I felt sick. I was shocked. I could not believe what I had just seen."

Mr Williams claimed that Edwards then performed an indecent act on himself.

The court was told that the accused was drunk at the time of the incident, on the 30th of August this year, following a night out with friends in Wrexham. He then went to a party at a house on the outskirts of Wrexham where the offence took place in the early hours of the morning.

Edwards had been working in the catering department at Chester Zoo but had no contact with the animals there.

The court was also told that Edwards had pornography featuring bestiality on his computer, which depicted sexual activity with horses and dogs.

Ok, so that means he usually only goes after non-living animals?

And its a good thing that news reporters are not keen on innuendos and word play, not at all.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Is anyone else thinking that someone trying to fuck an unwilling Rottweiler might quickly become a Darwin Award winner?

Apparently this was an unusually patient dog. Because, oh my god, jail is the most pleasant outcome I can imagine in such a scenario.

[The Johnny]

I was expecting the punchline of the news to be that he got mauled to death.

[rygD]

Is anyone else thinking that someone trying to fuck an unwilling Rottweiler might quickly become a Darwin Award winner?

Apparently this was an unusually patient dog. Because, oh my god, jail is the most pleasant outcome I can imagine in such a scenario.

Perhaps he likes rough sex.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Hey, North Wales is like the badlands.

I prefer Southampton with eejits rather than dog rapists.

Is anyone else thinking that someone trying to fuck an unwilling Rottweiler might quickly become a Darwin Award winner?

Apparently this was an unusually patient dog. Because, oh my god, jail is the most pleasant outcome I can imagine in such a scenario.

Perhaps he likes rough sex.

ruff sex, was that....

[Suu]

What is WITH you British folk lately?

[Iason Ouabache]

I was expecting the punchline of the news to be that he got mauled to death.

He's lucky he didn't get his penis bitten off.   

[Jean-Lustine d'Hadamard]

A North Wales man was found guilty yesterday of attempting to have sex with a rottweiler.

Typical. You don't get any of that crap down here in south Wales.

Maybe the dog was one of the 2-in-3.

[Bu🤠ns]

You think he'd start with something tamer like an Airdale or a Belgian before rockin a rottie.

[Jasper]

Who's saying he didn't?  The fact that he's unharmed speaks volumes of his dog fucking finesse.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Who's saying he didn't?  The fact that he's unharmed speaks volumes of his dog fucking finesse.

[Bu🤠ns]

maybe it's mr. glass or whatever the broken jar guy's name is.